random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Golden Apple]

it’s like a faggot public school teacher calling the Catholic Church full of pedos

 

[Kheapathic]

Citation styles are generally field-specific. APA is for field niggers, MLA is for house niggers, and Chicago is for whites.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Sockfuckers deserve more respect.

Anything but Chicago Manual of Style is for subhumans.

 

[Mamimi]

A future cow, dead, by selfish parents who don’t want to bless people online with their retards antics. It’s like, some people don’t want the internet anymore to have a dude shove a Nintendo controller up their butt while screaming about tranny rights and dressed up as Batman.

 

[Chromeo]

Side note: Apparently posting erotic Michael Jackson fanfic to YouTube is a thing. Who knew?

You're like a pet. You repeatedly make small, interesting noises and sometimes you mess the carpets but it's alright because you can't help it.

hey look at me, i'm the space shuttle. i'm fat and stupid

 

[X Prime]

Null with a pussy would be breathtaking. It would be so pink and he would make sure to wax every once in a while. His lips would be so silky. To see his clit, you’d have to spread his lips because they are also chubby. His walls are fluffy and it would be so easy for him to squirt.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

I still don’t get it. That doesn’t clarify anything.

There is a joke here. We are the punchline I'm afraid.

 

[Gentlebastard]

He's basically the 'my dad works at Nintendo' kid but as a middle aged man.

Years ago I went to a country bar and some old ass redneck swaggers up to the bar throws down three shots and turns to me, squints and says "when did we start letting chinks in here?"

Mfw some people are really really good at racism.

I wish China paid me to shitpost against jeets.

I’ve seen more racists know about other cultures than rainbow coalition-ites. It’s just one of those things that makes real life seem like it has a good comedy writer.

The most manly of all men collect stamps. I would know. When my girlfriend learned of my limited edition Barbara Bush stamp, well I hate to get too graphic here and excuse my language but, whoopie was made.

You'll take my benzene when you pry it from my cold dead hands.

Oh, wait.

Bitches love a good philatelist. It drops them panties, man.

I wonder if the twerking is an automatic defensive mechanism.
Stop attacking, I submit, just rape me and move on.

 

[a kiwifarms user]

Sadly, he never had a fat childhood. This led to him having a fixation on fat children.

 

[Aunt Carol]

linguini is plural you absolute gorilla giganigger

Can't wait to make fun of it sight unseen.

I stood outside his dwelling and threw D cell batteries at his door. Law enforcement eventually came, but they ended up joining me.

sometimes i just get into a good enough mood to forget that troons exist

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

I have this conspiracy theory floating around in my head that null doesn't actually exist and is an elaborate character created by josh and that he has been playing this character for so long that he forgot the original lore and the character is a completely different personality now, and I've been thinking about doing a deep dive into everything he has ever posted on this website to find personality and opinion changes but then I think about how much work it would take so I dont do it, but the idea is funny in my mind.

 

[Cnut]

The older the kiwi the sweeter the juice

 

[DickMain]

im not watching a fucking shoeonhead video you faggot

I just wrote a long post about a man getting raped by another man and it still wasn't as gay as this.

 

[Gog & Magog]

Why is it always black dicks?

Drowning in a river is actually pretty easy to avoid because rivers are often next to the shore, where you're totally safe from drowning. It's easier to drown in the ocean because the ocean is really big and sometimes the shore isn't right there. In a river the shore is always right there. You just gotta swim to the shore. Then you won't drown. If I was on the river that day, it wouldn't have gone down like it did.

One of my coworkers was genderfluid and interrupted someone in conversation to say she was feeling like using cat/catself for the day

 

[DickMain]

Ma'am, you're going to be turned into a bone chair.

Wait, why does the name say “king” in it if that’s a chick?

There's also the TB of gay porn he downloaded "for a friend".

Fatal rectal prolapse is my bet.

I too wish a nigga would

Damn so that's why I find Chantal so fucking hot?

I'm gonna miss harassing him

Every time a post starts out this way, I stop reading and give the poster whatever sticker they're crying about.

I just woke up. What happened?!

You know, it's possible to just not get super annoyed by shitposting.

You niggers had my hopes up for the quality of this thread improving

 

[JustSomeDong]

You are doing the equivalent of talking to an orthodox Christ-killer about different types of pork and the best ways to prepare it.

Ever since the Kennedys gave their one daughter a lobotomy, familys policing themselves fell out of favor.

I've never done crack but I have watched enough BMJ 2am VODs to know that she ain't sleeping tonight.

 

[Poonocchio]

Yeah, just what Null wants, some insane, glowie-enabling, run through dirty old pedo whore that has the anal tone of someone that just completed the world's largest gay gangbang.

 

[Sog Dog]

talk about musky pits and the enticing scent of penis is a bafflingly popular trope

 

[Among Us Gaming]

Ver archivo adjunto 9300862

"View more records for Porn on Ancestry.com"

 

[Gentlebastard]

There is a joke here. We are the punchline I'm afraid.

Ok we Americans like your Japanese culture so we’re going to force you all to fuck at gun point.

I can kind of appreciate zuckerbergs alien vibe but elon just comes of like a regular particularly snooty sped.

May your chain rust and your bike get stolen by a tweaker.

I used to carry pocket sand, but that was only because I lived in the desert and it gets everywhere.

I'd love to see everyone with a degree in marketing melted into a soup and fed to toothless pigs

what if your authentic self just happens to be a spotty-skinned, balding pervert who gets off to shit even John Waters would find in poor taste?

I'm not sure how two chodes impotently clashing against one another invokes the spirit of Sappho herself at any point.

Ugh, isn't it just so unfair how everyone hates liars?

I'm not the Lorax of lesbians, so I can't speak for the shes

I just got HATE CWIMED UWUUU