The Crow (2024) - Brandon Lee is spinning in his grave

  • 🇵🇦 Nuestro primer dominio localizado está en español en kiwifarms.pa. Our first localized domain is on Spanish on kiwifarms.pa.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
Destacado
Deadwaste dijo:
finally, he's comic accurate
Ver archivo adjunto 5821209
Presiona para expandir...

No wonder they made Brandon Lee look so cool. The goth kids can't get with what looks like an escaped mental patient with too many prison tattoos. Some things just don't translate well to film.

It looks pretty bad. Is everyone foreign and having a hard time with English? Because all I hear is mushmouth. I could barely understand anyone's speech.
Is that an Ozzy song? I love Ozzy but he's a marionette now. The auto tune gets worse with every song. Sharon might as well just switch over to AI to squeeze more blood out of his tired bones.

Anyone have that thing that lets you see the downvotes? I downvoted it. And judging by the comments I'm not the only one.
The Nothingness dijo:
They got the guy who played Pennywise and made him look like a worse version of Jared Leto's Joker.
Presiona para expandir...

That's him? He looks like a bus station junkie. Less goth anti-hero and more "You got any change?".

It's unfortunate he looks like that and all but with the right role it would work for him. This isn't the right role.
 
The Crow is one of those time capsule movies where you can see how a particular side of pop culture looked back in the mid 90's.
It's painfully dated and honestly not that good but it's entertaining enough to see.

This IP completely doesn't work in the modern era.
What will the soundtrack be? Doja Cat and Machine Gun Kelly?
Or will they dig up some boomer rockers out of their retirement homes?
And who the fuck wears a leather trench coat in 2024?
I saw one guy dressed like that the other day and I had to stop myself from going up to him and telling him that The Matrix is 25 years old and it's time to let go.

The movie itself might actually be better than the original but this trailer made sure that it will bomb hard.
 
I liked the first The Crow when it came out and got the collected volume of the first run of the comics.
it was pretty solid stuff
I never really tried any of the seven billion sequels, either comics or tv/movies.

Seems like there's probably at least a couple of good ones just by sheer quantity, but I assume it's a journey best taken while mocking the dozens of shit ones with friends.

I can't really get any fucks up about "oh no a shitty new The Crow" because that's roughly like "oh no a shitty opinion on The Internet"
that's been reality for thirty years
 
I've no great emotional attachment to the original though I enjoyed it as a kid. But that looks like a truly terrible movie in its own right, sans any actual comparisons. Also, doesn't matter how ripped that guy gets, that is one unattractive dude.

As to the trailer specifically - that has to be one of the most egregious cases of spoiling things in the trailer I've seen. Pretty sure I caught him stabbing the big villain at the end through himself with the sword. Also, if that old fellah from the "I don't always..." memes is in fact the big villain he is deeply unintimidating. I'm going to backtrack on what I said and draw a comparison to the original. Top Dollar as played by Michael Wincott, the sister-fucking, rumble-voiced, blouse-wearing swordsman was one of the best parts of that movie. I in no way can see this guy comparing favourably at all.
 
(Drags a giant fucking chair across the floor producing hideous scraping sounds before sitting down)

Okay, fuckers. Listen up:

The original is not that good. Great art direction and soundtrack. But clunky and Brandon Lee was not a great actor. I fucking said it. Chicks like him because "He's dreamy!" And you schlicked it to the Crow makeup.

The sequel, City of Angels is the better film. Fight me. I will win.

And here's my bullshit woke take to piss off the conservative Retards from A&N: there should be a female Crow. I want to see a hot goth chick with guns and wings waste motherfuckers. And if you don't want to see that then you are homosexual.

(Drops mic)
 
BrunoMattei dijo:
(Drags a giant fucking chair across the floor producing hideous scraping sounds before sitting down)

Okay, fuckers. Listen up:

The original is not that good. Great art direction and soundtrack. But clunky and Brandon Lee was not a great actor. I fucking said it. Chicks like him because "He's dreamy!" And you schlicked it to the Crow makeup.

The sequel, City of Angels is the better film. Fight me. I will win.

And here's my bullshit woke take to piss off the conservative Retards from A&N: there should be a female Crow. I want to see a hot goth chick with guns and wings waste motherfuckers. And if you don't want to see that then you are homosexual.

(Drops mic)
Presiona para expandir...
City of Angels could have been good, if Weinstein wasn't involved. Crow 3 was better, so suck it. Also, pretty sure they originally were gonna have a goth chick, 'cause I remember like waaay back when there have been talks about a new Crow movie, it was said how it was gonna be a female character.
 
BrunoMattei dijo:
. Great art direction and soundtrack. But clunky and Brandon Lee was not a great actor. I fucking said it. Chicks like him because "He's dreamy!" And you schlicked it to the Crow makeup.
Presiona para expandir...
I prefer 3rd movie myself, but you are being contrarian
BrunoMattei dijo:
And here's my bullshit woke take to piss off the conservative Retards from A&N: there should be a female Crow. I want to see a hot goth chick with guns and wings waste motherfuckers. And if you don't want to see that then you are homosexual
Presiona para expandir...
There is a ton of movies with goth chicks.

People like you are why men troon out. Why do not you go wrap in a grey rag and read about taxes?

Also if you wanna see a chick "waste motherfuckers", despite tons upon tons of movies of just that, you are into femdom, which is halfway to homosexual. So look at yourself first.
 
UnsufficentBoobage dijo:
I prefer 3rd movie myself, but you are being contrarian There is a ton of movies with goth chicks. People like you are why men troon out. Why do not you go wrap in a grey rag and read about taxes? Also if you wanna see a chick "waste motherfuckers", despite tons upon tons of movies of just that, you are into femdom, which is halfway to homosexual. So look at yourself first.
Presiona para expandir...
The Underworld movies don't count when it comes goth warrior chick's with guns. And those movies sucked as well.
 
>make Eric and Shelly a pair of junkies
>Shelly has a criminal past now
>also plot is about saving Shelly's soul from going to hell

Fucking why? I'm not saying The Crow's plot line is some untouchable gem but part of the reason why it worked and Eric's sadness and desire for revenge was something you could empathize with is because him and Shelly were both upstanding, kind people and pillars of their community who were brutally murdered by a gang of psychos. It's like how 2017's Death Note completely missed the fucking point of Light's character by making him a cheater and a guy whose first kill is a school bully instead of an actual criminal.

In fact now that I think about it, making them junkies is even stupider because the original film had an entire PSA scene with Eric going "drugs are bad, mmmkay?" to an addict.
 
The tired cat dijo:
I mean, does anyone remember the Underworld movied passed the 1st?
Presiona para expandir...
Kate Beckinsale unzips the costume and you see sideboob. At the time I was watching it in the cinema with a blonde girl I'd met two hours earlier who was trying to suck me off during it, so I guarantee there's at least one person out there who remembers that movie! :)

Ah! - to be young again!
 
Of course it wouldn't be a reboot without a sheboon as the girlfriend, a black magical guy and an all wypipo cast of villains. This shit looks like vampire John Wick.

Seriously Brandon Lee was half Chinese. So if they were going to do the interracial relationship angle couldn't they have least made his girlfriend Chinese? Couldn't the bad guys have been drug runners from Chinatown? It just seemed like it would have been more appropriate to make this more of a martial art movie.

I mean either way it's going to be fucking stupid, but having some swedish dude looking like a methed out goth juggalo with face tats is just going to make it laughable. I can't wait until I can watch it for free so I can get drunk with my friends and take a shit all over this awful fucking movie.
 
Mr. Zed da Robot Poon Fed dijo:
Hollywood is so fucked with regards to originality.
Presiona para expandir...
Word. My credo for anything media has been "no reboots, remakes or pointless sequels" for a while now, it's just asking to be disappointed.

I did like the original film because of its distinct 90's aesthetic but as @Slav Power said, it's only well-known and has a name because of the Brandon Lee incident. I also read the comics long ago but the only thing i remember is the artwork varying wildly between some really nice panels and arrangements to utter dogshit in every volume. This movie will bomb, no doubt about it.
The tired cat dijo:
I mean, does anyone remember the Underworld movied passed the 1st?
Presiona para expandir...
I do for them being INCREDIBLY shit, the first one was an enjoyable DVD rental (and shameless Vampire: The Masquerade plagiarism, never knew if WW sued them for it or tried to at least), the sequels are solid "What were they thinking?!" territory. Just checked on imdb and saw that it's five films total, i only watched the first three.
Krokodil Overdose dijo:
Bill Skarsgard gets wasted again. The eternal paradox of a good actor with a terrible agent.
Presiona para expandir...
Which is surprising, as both his father (who's a household name in his native Sweden and also starred in many big name Hollywood productions) and older brother are stellar actors who i would have assumed would know better how the business works. Maybe Billy is just less demanding to what he stars in, he's still raking in millions.
 
Última edición:
Destacado
Debes iniciar sesión o registrarte para responder aquí.
Atrás
Top Abajo