The Crow (2024) - Brandon Lee is spinning in his grave

[The tired cat]

I do for them being INCREDIBLY shit, the first one was an enjoyable DVD rental (and shameless Vampire: The Masquerade plagiarism, never knew if WW sued them for it or tried to at least), the sequels are solid "What were they thinking?!" territory. Just checked on imdb and saw that it's five films total, i only watched the first three.

There were apparently claims of lawsuits, but details on it are sketchy, same as people claim how Meyers nearly got sued by WW and thats why she had sparkling vampires who turn into marble.

 

[Miriam Margoyles]

They've been threatening a remake of The Crow for years - I'm old enough to remember when the buzz was that they were going to get Cillian Murphy to play Erik Draven - I just can't believe they're actually doing it, this time.

 

[The Feline Solution]

So if they were going to do the interracial relationship angle couldn't they have least made his girlfriend Chinese?

No, because then people, and i use that term very loosely here, would scream "Orientalism!" or some other meaningless, suppossedly pro-gook bullshit and we can't have that in Current Year+whatevernumberpleasejustenditall.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

Isn't remaking a cursed film a really bad idea?

 

[The tired cat]

Isn't remaking a cursed film a really bad idea?

I mean, no more cursed than making sequels towards it, and out of the 3 sequels, only the 3rd was good. 4th could have been nice, if they didnt misscast the lead actor for the role of The Crow.

 

[Krokodil Overdose]

Also, doesn't matter how ripped that guy gets, that is one unattractive dude.

Hard disagree, he's got that kind of "looks like he still gets carded at the liquor store" look that's catnip to a lot of queers. But I don't know if that translates into mass market appeal.

Which is surprising, as both his father (who's a household name in his native Sweden and also starred in many big name Hollywood productions) and older brother are stellar actors who i would have assumed would know better how the business works. Maybe Billy is just less demanding to what he stars in, he's still raking in millions.

Maybe he's just happy to be the headliner this time.

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

There were apparently claims of lawsuits, but details on it are sketchy, same as people claim how Meyers nearly got sued by WW and thats why she had sparkling vampires who turn into marble.

I recall claims that the story very specifically resembled a particular VTM novel that had recently come out, but I don't remember it going anywhere because there's only so much you can claim to invent Romeowolf And Julietpire
iirc WW mostly active when somebody stepped on a trademark, and sometimes they've ended up kissing and playing nicely together, like when Capcom had bumped into their tm for "a video game called Vampire" that became Darkstalkers, then resulted in the connections to make the deal for Street Fighter the RPG
similarly with Gangrel in WWF, they were like "breh" and worked out a legit deal

 

[Calandrino]

The Crow is one of those time capsule movies where you can see how a particular side of pop culture looked back in the mid 90's.
It's painfully dated and honestly not that good but it's entertaining enough to see.

The concept works today because nothing is more 2024 than a garbage remake that nobody asked for.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

 

[TATE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODE!!]

Brandon Brootal would of been a good Crow, coming back to seek vengeance on all those basic bitch Swifties in his home town.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

I never understood the popularity of the original film. It was boring and faggy.

 

[Absurdist Laughter]

Hmm, I'll give it a watch when released; doesn't look terrible. I just hope that trailer isn't all the "best shots" and the writing will break everything if those were in fact the best shot. 50% Stinker potential, 45% inoffensive, 3% Good, 1% Great, 1% Overshadows the OG.

 

[Anne Hathaway Fan]

I never understood the popularity of the original film. It was boring and faggy.

You mean you didn't enjoy such scenery chewing lines as:
"it can't rain.... ALL the time"
and my personal favorite
"do I smell..... GASOLiiiiiiiiiNE?"
This is a movie that's so bad that it shows the crow squeezing a girl's junkie mother and all of the drugs oozing out of her veins like he's popping a zit. Fucking terrible.

Brandon Lee was such a bad actor he was probably too stupid to act hurt when he got shot. He probably just saw a bullet in his heart and looked off camera and went "um...... Liiiiine?"

Oh my God, FUCK that movie, the only reason it got over is cuz some guy died filming it, when Bruce Lee had a baby obviously the poor thing got its mother's talent. I didn't have to look up those quotes either they are so cringe that I remember both of them and how those lines are delivered from the late 90s which was the last time I saw that movie.

One good thing came out of the original Crow movie and that was black and white Sting.

 

[The Feline Solution]

"it can't rain.... ALL the time"

Best line in the film, not even being ironic here

Brandon Lee was such a bad actor he was probably too stupid to act hurt when he got shot. He probably just saw a bullet in his heart and looked off camera and went "um...... Liiiiine?"

Brutal, but i can see it

 

[Anne Hathaway Fan]

Best line in the film, not even being ironic here

Brutal, but i can see it

People can say what they want about the second one but at least that one had Iggy Pop hamming it up. He made that movie enjoyable for 12 year old me, especially when one of his guys gets burned alive and he's like "he's a fuckin crispy critter"

 

[The Feline Solution]

I am actually about to start watching the second film in a minute because of this thread and a friend just told me the same about Iggy Pop after i asked him how shit the film is. I only played the monstrously shitty Playstation adaption but never watched the movie.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

I am actually about to start watching the second film in a minute because of this thread and a friend just told me the same about Iggy Pop after i asked him how shit the film is

It implies Sara (the little girl) had fallen in love with Eric AND that her mom went back to being a cunt. Not recommended.

 

[Anne Hathaway Fan]

I am actually about to start watching the second film in a minute because of this thread and a friend just told me the same about Iggy Pop after i asked him how shit the film is. I only played the monstrously shitty Playstation adaption but never watched the movie.

Bro it's not good, but Iggy makes it fun as hell.

But then again I would recommend anything with Iggy Pop in it because he's great. He was supposed to be Fun Boy in the first movie but he wasn't able to do it so this was his runner-up prize I guess.

 

[The Feline Solution]

Phew, what a stinker. You know a film is shit when it's glaringly obvious that even the hair stylist did a bad job. But that acting, man. That fucking acting. Some studio exec cocks must've been throated until they were raw for these people to get a role in a movie. Unbelievable that this got a cinematic release back in the day. It's bad even by bad-90's-movie standards, the last film that was this outrageously shitty i can remember watching in more recent times was Class of 1999 and even that one had better moments than City of Angels. I guess the nicest thing i can say is that some of the sets looked cool. That very gratuitous BDSM scene in the beginning was, uh, interesting too, what the fuck was up with that?
I'm gonna torture myself some more tomorrow when i watch part 3. I'm not really looking forward to it.

 

[Miriam Margoyles]

"do I smell..... GASOLiiiiiiiiiNE?"

The line is "Is that gasoline I smell?", you fucking poser prep.