Terrible Baby Names

[Ilikeoreos]

I remember an old Beavis and Butthead fanfic where it was explained that the latter's mom was high on hospital morphine when she named him. Not a bad theory

 

[Slop Bowl]

My kids play soccer with a boy named Hammer. Just, why?

Reminds me of a guy at work named "Canon" not "Cannon" like the gun, "Canon" like the camera and printer company XD.

 

[Cherry Milk]

Some of the worst from me:
Shale
Raid
Bunny Love
Fenner-bea
Satin Tiara
Darling

Some people shouldn't be parents

 

[Gravekeeper's Vassal]

The "Daenerys" and "Khaleesi" trend from the height of GOTs popularity will never not be funny to me, especially since their was clues that her character would end up the way she did.

 

[Barbarella]

I can't remember if this was real, a dream hallucination, or a meme half remembered but wasn't there a thing getting passed around literally like a decade plus ago about how low IQ mexicans were getting the name and sex lines confused on birth certificates thus leading to a glut of babies basically named "Female"

I once saw a skit of a teacher calling attendance in class, and it was filled with these fucking odd names the teacher couldn’t pronounce. He was calling them out, then responding with the actual pronunciation while getting more and more timid as he went through names, and got to “Female?” And the answer was “Fe-maľ-eigh”

It was years ago, maybe Vine or MadTV but stuff like that is still around and that might be what you think of.

That La-A, story has been floating around for years too, but it’s always a friend of a friend…I don’t think it’s real.

Robin Williams daughter is named Zelda. Zelda has been a very normal name for years, as is Vera.

Penn Jillette named their kid Moxie Crimefighter and the kid promptly trooned out.

 

[not william stenchever]

You can't go wrong naming your child Griglak, son of Griglak.

 

[LabourRace]

Robin Williams daughter is named Zelda. Zelda has been a very normal name for years, as is Vera.

It's also been said he named her after the game. The first Zelda game arrived to the US in 1986 and she was born 1989.

 

[so valid uwu]

Anything with the -leigh suffix where it's bastardizing an existing name (like "Nataleigh" or "Kayleigh") Come on "Natalie" is already a pretty name.

I don’t understand why the -leigh spelling was so trendy, that combination of letters just looks ugly written together.

I always thought Brinley/Brynleigh/Brinlee and Novalee/Novaleigh were fugly ass names.

 

[PetiteFeet]

I once saw a skit of a teacher calling attendance in class, and it was filled with these fucking odd names the teacher couldn’t pronounce. He was calling them out, then responding with the actual pronunciation while getting more and more timid as he went through names, and got to “Female?” And the answer was “Fe-maľ-eigh”

This one?

 

[Your old Livejournal]

Linda is a basic name but it’s funny to think the name took off bc someone was like “it means beautiful in SPANISH!” And all the moms of boomers were like “ooooh exotic!”

Names I’ve encountered in the wild: Ja’Miracle and Bussie lmao

During my year abroad in uni I met a girl whose parents were clear uneducated lower class. They gave her brother a random English name and called her Ninja. However, not because they were early weebs, but because they liked the Spanish word niña (girl), but back then you couldn't have that letter in your name when registering your baby in Germany and so they went with a German-fied spelling. But obviously everyone who met her for the first time pronounced it like the Japanese word. And who names their baby girl "girl" anyway?! I'm honestly surprised the usual so strict Germany authority allowed that name.

 

[AbsurdumRideo]

I once saw a skit of a teacher calling attendance in class, and it was filled with these fucking odd names the teacher couldn’t pronounce. He was calling them out, then responding with the actual pronunciation while getting more and more timid as he went through names, and got to “Female?” And the answer was “Fe-maľ-eigh”

It was years ago, maybe Vine or MadTV but stuff like that is still around and that might be what you think of.

That La-A, story has been floating around for years too, but it’s always a friend of a friend…I don’t think it’s real.

Robin Williams daughter is named Zelda. Zelda has been a very normal name for years, as is Vera.

Penn Jillette named their kid Moxie Crimefighter and the kid promptly trooned out.

That’s the Kay and Peele skit with AARON. Which is hilarious and so old that they made remakes of this skit kn Germany for Turkish names which isn’t funny and never will be.

 

[AbsurdumRideo]

During my year abroad in uni I met a girl whose parents were clear uneducated lower class. They gave her brother a random English name and called her Ninja. However, not because they were early weebs, but because they liked the Spanish word niña (girl), but back then you couldn't have that letter in your name when registering your baby in Germany and so they went with a German-fied spelling. But obviously everyone who met her for the first time pronounced it like the Japanese word. And who names their baby girl "girl" anyway?! I'm honestly surprised the usual so strict Germany authority allowed that name.

As a German : you need to clearly indicate the sex ( “gender”) of the person. F.e. Andrea is a girls name, but in Italy also a male name. So you need another clearly indicating female name, such as Maria.
Common names that need “added” names:
Laurin / Laurine
Michel/ Michelle*
Matti ( both male/ female)
Louis/ Louise

* depends whether or not you’re French.

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

Some of my medfag family members told me about a friend who'd named his daughter Melaena. They tried to tell him that's the clinical term for foul, tarry shits, but would he listen?

 

[Anton LaVay’s watersports]

7 years ago I heard a mom call out to Raiden.

 

[Super Guido]

That's not so bad, if it's short for Charlene, Carla, Carlotta or Charlotte - Charlie for boys is short for Charles or Carl - but naming your kid a nickname is just daft because they're going to be asked "What's Charlie short for?" all their lives.
To which the answer is "my mum did cocaine and it stunted my growth".

Now I have a new response when someone gets my name wrong.

Some of the worst from me:
Shale
Raid
Bunny Love
Fenner-bea
Satin Tiara
Darling

Some people shouldn't be parents

I knew a woman named Piper-Jack. Separately, there was a baby with the name Real Love on its hospital papers. I feel bad for that baby.

 

[Umaibae]

Dumb ones I know from IRL, all babies or young kids:

Nolan
Wim
Everlee

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

Dumb ones I know from IRL, all babies or young kids:

Nolan
Wim
Everlee

Wim's normal for Dutch people, usually short for William or Willem, though, it'd be like naming your baby Bill instead of William and giving him the nickname Bill. If the parents don't have any Dutch connection, it's weird though.

 

[Tutu]

Model couple Lucky Blue and Nara Smith chose some dreadful names for their children that make their followers cope by theorizing they must be trolling and their legal names are actually something normal.

• Rumble Honey Smith
• Slim Easy Smith
• Whimsy Lou Smith
• Fawnie Golden Smith

The unused names on her list were not much better.

1:01

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

Insufferable TV personality, celebrity chef and slavedriving employer Jamie Oliver named his kids some weird shit. Somehow he's managed to sire five of them and he and his wife named them:

Poppy Honey Rosie
Daisy Boo Pamela
Petal Blossom Rainbow
Buddy Bear Maurice
River Rocket Blue Dallas

Poor bastards. As if having that as your da isn't bad enough.

 

[Dysnomia]

I thought this was a meme, like Oranjello and Lemonjello, but some say people heard the jokes and thought they actually were nice names and used them for their kids.

It may very well be a joke. But I've seen some weird ones. Some parents get very retarded with naming twins. I knew some twins named Phillip and Felipe. But everyone called Felipe "Flip a Coin" for some reason.