Jurassic Park/World megathread - Spared no expense.

[Android raptor]

I saw the third movie in theatres when I was 6 as my first JP experience in theatres. I would watch it again when I rented it at my local Blockbuster. I loved JP3 back when I was a kid. I rewatched it a couple years back and I still liked it, though not as much as when I was a kid. Granted, neither this nor Lost World will ever be as good as the first (which is obvious from the word go), but then again, they were never meant to be that way. They were just pieces of fun, harmless, yet brainless popcorn entertainment.

Also, holy BASED the merchandising behind it was so kino. I remember me, my bro and my friends used to play with JP3 toys during the late summer of that year. It was fun.

TLW was the first JP movie I got to see, we rented it on VHS way back in the day. My first JP toy was from TLW line as well, though Chaos Effect also is super nostalgic.

Me and my sister would play with our JP (and other dino) toys in the woods&creek in the backyard, best damn memories from my childhood tbh

 

[TVB]

TLW was the first JP movie I got to see, we rented it on VHS way back in the day. My first JP toy was from TLW line as well, though Chaos Effect also is super nostalgic.

Me and my sister would play with our JP (and other dino) toys in the woods&creek in the backyard, best damn memories from my childhood tbh

Funny enough, mine too. I remember when my parents bought me a VHS copy of Lost World for Christmas when I was three. My brother and I had fond childhood memories about JP, as well as Pokemon, Star Wars, Spiderman, SpongeBob, LoTR and Nintendo stuff, back in the day, but then again, so did anyone else growing up back between the late-90s through early-to-mid 2000s.

 

[Owen Grady]

Same, I was 12 when JP3 came out. It was the first JP movie I got to see in theaters, since my parents wouldn't let me watch JP until I was like 8/9. Pretty much anything JP3 related is a nuclear nostalgia bomb.

Tbh I think my favorite part of JP is the toy shit. Any other JP toys autists? I've been collecting them since I was 9.

I saw the third movie in theatres when I was 6 as my first JP experience in theatres. I would watch it again when I rented it at my local Blockbuster. I loved JP3 back when I was a kid. I rewatched it a couple years back and I still liked it, though not as much as when I was a kid. Granted, neither this nor Lost World will ever be as good as the first (which is obvious from the word go), but then again, they were never meant to be that way. They were just pieces of fun, harmless, yet brainless popcorn entertainment.

Also, holy BASED the merchandising behind it was so kino. I remember me, my bro and my friends used to play with JP3 toys during the late summer of that year. It was fun.

JP3 might not be the best Jurassic Park but it will always have a very special place in my heart because it was the Jurassic Park that gave me what I believe was the equivalent of “Dino Fever” that arose in the Summer of ‘93, which I was far too young to experience. JP3 coincidentally came out the very same summer that I experienced the first two Jurassic Park films for the first time and discovered a love for dinosaurs, and so finding out about it and playing with all the toys and merch and reading the books reinforced that interest and made it stronger. I never got to see the movie until years later because my parents wouldn’t let me watch PG-13 films (I had seen what I had of the previous two movies at a friend’s without their knowing), but it still had a huge impact on my upbringing and passion.

And yes, almost all of the Jurassic Park toys I had were from III, and I still have most of them safe in a bin back in my parents’ garage. Used to play with them all day long in my neighbors’ sandbox.

 

[Coptakhenaten]

I like all 3 Jurassic Park movies. Though I have more notalgia for the latter 2. 2 is a flawed movie but I preferred its setpieces and action scenes over the first movie, and I liked JP3 in general.

I kinda want a movie more directly based on the book

 

[Android raptor]

I've had these Raptors since I was a kid, the cyclops was first JP toy. Yes I know 2 are technically Safari not JP, buy kid me decided they fambly anyway

I badly painted the snap-jaw with a red snout when I was 11 and obsessed with Raptor Red

 

[White Devil]

I've had these Raptors since I was a kid, the cyclops was first JP toy. Yes I know 2 are technically Safari not JP, buy kid me decided they fambly anyway

I badly painted the snap-jaw with a red snout when I was 11 and obsessed with Raptor Red
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I'm shocked you didn't put them in dresses.

 

[ArthuriusMartyrius]

Dominion might be the first movie in the franchise where I actually walked out of the cinema midway through. I think it was around the time

Spoiler

where the dude and the woman from the original movie are hitching a ride on the hyperloop with the clone girl.

Never thought this would happen but we live in strange times.

As for the sequel trilogy, I actually think Abrams (and Trevorrow when he was attached to Ep9) did genuinely want to make some decent Star Wars, but was just too incompetent to do so, while Rian Johnson clearly thought the franchise was beneath him. And so long as She Who Must Not Be Named was producing them, it wouldn't really have mattered who was directing.

Nah, Abrams is a hack who want to rake in some quick accolades by redoing the first SW film and did not give a fuck about the franchise or the fans (same with Star Trek). Rian Johnson, I still can't place but I get the intention that he deliberately sabotaged TLJ because he fucking hated what Disney was doing with SW (I recall early articles citing Rian and KK having "creative differences" that led to Rian almost leaving the project). If you watch TLJ and TROS back-to-back, there's almost an intentional quality to how badly TLJ sucks while TROS sucks in an "execs running around like headless chickens trying to extract maximum profit from this shitshow". I mean, does anyone remember how TROS was going through reshoots and recuts up until like a couple of weeks before release?

 

[Android raptor]

I'm shocked you didn't put them in dresses.

One got a hoodie on rn

 

[Dom Cruise]

Finally saw Dominion.

I liked it quite a bit actually, although the whole Malta sequence left me scratching my head and didn't really need to be there, I was like "how did a Jurassic movie become a spy movie?"

It is odd that seemed to be going in the direction of dinos causing chaos on the mainland and then side step that, I guess they couldn't really figure out what to do with it, but it was cool to have them bring in elements from the original Crichton novels that were never named before or only had a small role, namely Biosyn and Dodgson, in fact as a big JP nerd it's pretty cool to have Biosysn confirmed as who wanted the embryos, it was cool to have Dodgson as the main villain and to have him get eaten, though it's a little too big a coincidence that it's the SAME type of dinos that killed Nedry.

It was cool to see the old cast back, it was cool to see them interact with Owen and Claire, it had enough cool moments that made me feel like a kid again, especially the big final dino fight, what can I say? I'm sucker for dinos.

But this really feels like where it needs to end, the JW trilogy was not as good as it could have been but at least it wasn't a total embarrassment, we got 6 movies over 30 years, none of which are totally awful, it ends on an interesting enough note, time to just let it rest.

But of course I'm pretty sure they've already said the franchise will keep going which ugh, not really looking forward to that, it feels like they got as much as they could from it and from this point on it can only get really bad.

However if they just gotta have one more movie, I noticed midquel potential with Dodgson having the shaving cream can, how did he get it? They could do a movie that's basically the same story as the Telltale game if they just got to have another movie (but the can was DESTROYED in the Telltale game, shame we can't consider that game canon I guess.

It's funny how JP is now a franchise with multiple timelines lol.

Anyway, had a good enough time.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Finally saw Dominion.

I liked it quite a bit actually, although the whole Malta sequence left me scratching my head and didn't really need to be there, I was like "how did a Jurassic movie become a spy movie?"

It is odd that seemed to be going in the direction of dinos causing chaos on the mainland and then side step that, I guess they couldn't really figure out what to do with it, but it was cool to have them bring in elements from the original Crichton novels that were never named before or only had a small role, namely Biosyn and Dodgson, in fact as a big JP nerd it's pretty cool to have Biosysn confirmed as who wanted the embryos, it was cool to have Dodgson as the main villain and to have him get eaten, though it's a little too big a coincidence that it's the SAME type of dinos that killed Nedry.

It was cool to see the old cast back, it was cool to see them interact with Owen and Claire, it had enough cool moments that made me feel like a kid again, especially the big final dino fight, what can I say? I'm sucker for dinos.

But this really feels like where it needs to end, the JW trilogy was not as good as it could have been but at least it wasn't a total embarrassment, we got 6 movies over 30 years, none of which are totally awful, it ends on an interesting enough note, time to just let it rest.

But of course I'm pretty sure they've already said the franchise will keep going which ugh, not really looking forward to that, it feels like they got as much as they could from it and from this point on it can only get really bad.

However if they just gotta have one more movie, I noticed midquel potential with Dodgson having the shaving cream can, how did he get it? They could do a movie that's basically the same story as the Telltale game if they just got to have another movie (but the can was DESTROYED in the Telltale game, shame we can't consider that game canon I guess.

It's funny how JP is now a franchise with multiple timelines lol.

Anyway, had a good enough time.

Honestly Jurassic Park sequels are absolutely fucking dumb but it's pretty much universally agreed that the first movie can pretty much be watched without knowledge of what the sequels will do since it stands alone. I don't believe a single human being would prefer any of the sequels over the first movie.

 

[Dom Cruise]

Honestly Jurassic Park sequels are absolutely fucking dumb but it's pretty much universally agreed that the first movie can pretty much be watched without knowledge of what the sequels will do since it stands alone. I don't believe a single human being would prefer any of the sequels over the first movie.

The second one came the closest, it was the only sequel based on Crichton writings, the only one still directed by Spielberg and the only one that genuinely tried to do something that felt fresh with the idea.

And even it was not nearly as good, I don’t see why if you like the first you wouldn’t consider the second “canon”

It’s everything since that I think falls into some sort of alternate timeline that you can safely ignore if you choose.

 

[Dom Cruise]

Apologies for the double lost but uh oh I think I’ve realized a huge plot hole that makes the last 2 movies make no sense at all.

Spoiler

Alright so in Fallen Kingdom James Cromwell’s character (whatever his name was is supposed to be), Hammond’s former business partner but they had a falling out because he cloned his dead daughter.

Only now Dominion says she’s not a clone of a dead woman, she’s a clone (or whatever) of a LIVING woman, one who WORKED for Hammond (but did pass away at some point but not in a car crash), so what was their falling out with his partner over and why was said partner never mentioned in the original movie?

I wanted to like this movie but unless I’m missing something OOF that is like the biggest fucking plot hole ever, the entire thing makes zero sense, what the fuck were they thinking? Did they forget their own movie?

Why even bring in the element of a human being who’s genetically modified and not just focus on dinosaurs? Movie would have been fine otherwise.

My head genuinely hurts trying to make sense of this.

Apologies if this has been discussed before and I’m not the first to notice.

EDIT: I guess this is one of those flicks that are entertaining in the moment but fall apart as soon as you think about it.

I guess after all was said and done the World movies were a big fat waste of time and damn does that make this 90s kid sad.

 

[Android raptor]

Dominion might be the first movie in the franchise where I actually walked out of the cinema midway through. I think it was around the time

Spoiler

where the dude and the woman from the original movie are hitching a ride on the hyperloop with the clone girl.

Never thought this would happen but we live in strange times.

Nah, Abrams is a hack who want to rake in some quick accolades by redoing the first SW film and did not give a fuck about the franchise or the fans (same with Star Trek). Rian Johnson, I still can't place but I get the intention that he deliberately sabotaged TLJ because he fucking hated what Disney was doing with SW (I recall early articles citing Rian and KK having "creative differences" that led to Rian almost leaving the project). If you watch TLJ and TROS back-to-back, there's almost an intentional quality to how badly TLJ sucks while TROS sucks in an "execs running around like headless chickens trying to extract maximum profit from this shitshow". I mean, does anyone remember how TROS was going through reshoots and recuts up until like a couple of weeks before release?

I liked the ST and thought TFW and TLJ were decent (TROS is where the writing shits itself). I can watch more of the ST sober than I can the PT (not that episode 1&2 aren't an absolute blast to watch shitfaced).

Anyway props to Mattel for releasing JP themed Barbie outfit packs, crossing the streams of my autism&changing everything

Seriously, they stylin

 

[A Grey Cat]

Apologies for the double lost but uh oh I think I’ve realized a huge plot hole that makes the last 2 movies make no sense at all.

Spoiler

Alright so in Fallen Kingdom James Cromwell’s character (whatever his name was is supposed to be Hammond’s former business partner but they had a falling out because he cloned his dead daughter.

Only now Dominion says she’s not a clone of a dead woman, she’s a clone (or whatever) of a LIVING woman, one who WORKED for Hammond (but did pass away at some point but not in a car crash), so what was their falling out with his partner over and why was said partner never mentioned in the original movie?

I wanted to like this movie but unless I’m missing something OOF that is like the biggest fucking plot hole ever, the entire thing makes zero sense, what the fuck were they thinking? Did they forget their own movie?

Why even bring in the element of a human being who’s genetically modified and not just focus on dinosaurs? Movie would have been fine otherwise.

My head genuinely hurts trying to make sense of this.

Apologies if this has been discussed before and I’m not the first to notice.

EDIT: I guess this is one of those flicks that are entertaining in the moment but fall apart as soon as you think about it.

I guess after all was said and done the World movies were a big fat waste of time and damn does that make this 90s kid sad.

With each passing day the future can only look bleaker and the past... Even the bad parts seem all the brighter don't they?

 

[Dom Cruise]

I'd be a lot more forgiving of the World movies if the whole thing with Maisie didn't make zero sense.

They really shouldn't have introduced Cromwell's character and the idea of using this tech on humans at all, it way overcomplicates everything.

They done goofed when writing these movies and didn't think it through well enough, it's a shame because the dinosaur stuff is cool, including in Dominion, but they really needed to take a second look at the stories.

Colin Trevorrow seems like a well meaning guy but his actual talent falls short of his his ambition, it's pretty nuts the guy didn't realize what a massive plot hole he was introducing.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

I'd be a lot more forgiving of the World movies if the whole thing with Maisie didn't make zero sense.

They really shouldn't have introduced Cromwell's character and the idea of using this tech on humans at all, it way overcomplicates everything.

They done goofed when writing these movies and didn't think it through well enough, it's a shame because the dinosaur stuff is cool, including in Dominion, but they really needed to take a second look at the stories.

Colin Trevorrow seems like a well meaning guy but his actual talent falls short of his his ambition, it's pretty nuts the guy didn't realize what a massive plot hole he was introducing.

Colin Trevorrow is a good director but he needs smarter people to write his scripts for him.

Jurassic World was a decent film and had a cool premise to it, but the World films get really stupid with the new technology and science introduced, not only that but the weird military subplots that each film has.

Jurassic Park can't be topped, Lost World was a decent follow-up with a great third act, and III was a dumpster fire.

For the World Series, World is only a bit below Lost World while both Fallen Kingdom and Dominion are worse than III which is impressive and that's because Fallen Kingdom and Dominion have high ambitions which burn faster than Icarus.

 

[ArthuriusMartyrius]

Apologies for the double lost but uh oh I think I’ve realized a huge plot hole that makes the last 2 movies make no sense at all.

Spoiler

Alright so in Fallen Kingdom James Cromwell’s character (whatever his name was is supposed to be), Hammond’s former business partner but they had a falling out because he cloned his dead daughter.

Only now Dominion says she’s not a clone of a dead woman, she’s a clone (or whatever) of a LIVING woman, one who WORKED for Hammond (but did pass away at some point but not in a car crash), so what was their falling out with his partner over and why was said partner never mentioned in the original movie?

I wanted to like this movie but unless I’m missing something OOF that is like the biggest fucking plot hole ever, the entire thing makes zero sense, what the fuck were they thinking? Did they forget their own movie?

Why even bring in the element of a human being who’s genetically modified and not just focus on dinosaurs? Movie would have been fine otherwise.

My head genuinely hurts trying to make sense of this.

Apologies if this has been discussed before and I’m not the first to notice.

EDIT: I guess this is one of those flicks that are entertaining in the moment but fall apart as soon as you think about it.

I guess after all was said and done the World movies were a big fat waste of time and damn does that make this 90s kid sad.

Apparently she's not even a clone but like some quasi-daughter figure now that was given birth to naturally by Hammond's grand-daughter (I think that's what she is now) fucking around with her own DNA. What purpose does it serve aside from some "LOOK HOW SUPER AWESOME THIS WOMAN SCIENTIST THAT BASICALLY DID NOT EXIST FOR THE PAST TWO FILMS IS" posturing?

 

[Android raptor]

Tbh as long as it has dinosaurs doing cool shit, a JP/JW movie is good in my book. That's the main thing I'm here for (and toys of the dinosaurs so I can pose them doing cool shit).

 

[Nigger Respecter]

Saw this movie and my thought is that the majesty of seeing dinosaurs on the big screen just isn't there anymore. The first Jurassic Park really made an impression and changed a lot in cinema and every single one after just couldn't catch up to that feeling. I just do not give a shit about seeing CGI dinosaurs running around.

The Jurassic World trilogy is easily the most forgettable bland trilogy I've ever seen. There is nothing memorable from any of it.

 

[KillThemCrackasBabies]

OG cast = good
New cast = forgettable to the point of being completely irrelevant

People say the locust shit was pointless but I could have had the entire film been about just that and would have enjoyed it more.