Jurassic Park/World megathread - Spared no expense.

[Captain Autism69]

They sort of do with the only commandant being guns are bad and thus they're not to be used either at all on the dinosaurs. As decree by anti-gun Spielberg.

Oh damn son, you reminded me...a bunch of dinosaurs that kill people when a lazer pointer is on them, controlled by a physically deformed asian cunt, facing off a bunch of people ARMED WITH GUNS....not a single one of them thinks 'humm I have this firearm that can shoot lead at a speed which kills things, maybe I should shoot the dinosaur which is trying to eat me'

 

[Android raptor]

Why the fuck the poll only got humans on it, where my dino options

Also I saw Dominion yesterday

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

Basically, one of my biggest issues with the last two films lies in the idea of bringing the dinosaurs permanently off the island in the first place. It isn't something that can be done, story wise, while still being respectful of the originals. Taking the animals off the island and then spouting bullshit about somehow learning to coexist with them goes against the entire message of the original couple of movies

It makes complete sense considering modern sensibilities, though. Playing god is now seen as a cool I LOVE SCIENCE thing. People are enamored with pseudo spirituality that attributes magic abilities to minorities and children, so the idea of enlightened dinos and nature repairing itself makes perfect sense for them.
And finally, logical reasoning is dead and Feelz over Realz is the norm. So people will think something that makes them feel good must be good.

We're basically taken the original film and only learned from it that Dinosaurs are cool.

 

[Uranus Pink]

Oh damn son, you reminded me...a bunch of dinosaurs that kill people when a lazer pointer is on them, controlled by a physically deformed asian cunt, facing off a bunch of people ARMED WITH GUNS....not a single one of them thinks 'humm I have this firearm that can shoot lead at a speed which kills things, maybe I should shoot the dinosaur which is trying to eat me'

The older Xenozoic Tales/Cadillacs and Dinosaurs franchise (1986 to present day) handled dinosaurs and humans with guns hell of a lot better. As it dealt with after the end humans having to live with dinosaurs and the necessary steps to do so.

 

[Muttnik]

It baffles me that there's been like six goddamn sequels now and none of the effects don't look half as good as they did in the original.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

It baffles me that there's been like six goddamn sequels now and none of them are as half as good as the original.

FTFY

Seriously I've never seen a franchise this reliant on one movie carrying it before.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Why the fuck the poll only got humans on it, where my dino options

Also I saw Dominion yesterday

How was it? Also question is dewanda IDK who the fuck she is cause I'm old and out of touch.... Is her character really am bad as everyone is saying? Did they really go all out with her "lesbianism " or was just a throwaway line like "my girlfriend and I. " that universal can conveniently cut out for release in the united Arab Emirates, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, and especially China?

 

[Din Djarin]

Watched the first Jurassic Park movie again last night and god it was so good.

Edited to add a word

 

[Strange Wilderness]

Ending: I laughed out loud, as did some others in the cinema when it showed triceratops and elephants, pterosaus and ducks, giraffes and longnecks living side by side happy...if only nigs and everyone else could just get along the world would be incredible!

You know something like that might actually make for an interesting show or film; how dinosaurs would reintegrate into the modern ecosystem. Some could be invasive species driving certain animals to extinction, others living side by side with modern day animals and humans, some dinosaurs turn into household pests, and some fill the ecological niche leftover from extinct or endangered species. Brachiosaurus could be threatening sequoia trees in California while Apatosaurus lives side by side with Giraffe's in Africa. Herds of Stegosaurus migrate across the plains of North America filling in for Bison and causing crop damage while Raptors become the new wolves of the lower 48 states hunting deer that are crossing the road and scatter when they see headlights. Compys and Pterodactyl's will become another version of Racoons or Seagulls digging through peoples trash and swooping down into parking lots. T-Rex's start muscling into where Tigers used to roam eating farmers water buffalo but letting monkeys clean filth off their backs and teeth. You get my point, actually show the realistic consequences of letting a bunch of Dinosaurs out into the world instead of hippie crap.

If the spirit of the original Jurassic Park was still around, Dinosaurs interacting with the modern world and realistically how they would affect it could be an interesting film. Have Chris Pratt and Blue as animal control officers removing a T-Rex from someones backyard the way they remove alligators from pools down in Florida. Not...whatever I just read on The Movie Spoiler.

 

[Agarathium1066]

If the spirit of the original Jurassic Park was still around, Dinosaurs interacting with the modern world and realistically how they would affect it could be an interesting film. Have Chris Pratt and Blue as animal control officers removing a T-Rex from someones backyard the way they remove alligators from pools down in Florida. Not...whatever I just read on The Movie Spoiler.

That would make for an actually interesting series if the less outright threatening dinosaurs were just a part of life. Could you catch every Compy? Not likely, they're going to probably be a real pain in the ass if not watched in cities and certainly in the wild. Especially if it focused more on the dinosaurs not being extremely kill-crazed like they are in the movies.

I absolutely get that a movie about dinosaurs running the hell away from most things wouldn't be entertaining but most dangerous animals now can be scared off by being loud, sudden motion, or all sorts of human inventions. Dinosaur 'Rangers' or whatever would be a fascinating thing to see.

 

[A Grey Cat]

By the way happy 29th birthday Jurassic park.

No matter how much time passes...no matter what Universal does to it...we'll always have the originals and our memories that go with them.


Lex:"Alan?"
Grant:"... yeah?"
Lex: "What if the dinosaurs come back while we're all asleep?"
Grant: "Well... I'll stay awake"
Lex: "All night?"
Grant " All night."

 

[Coptakhenaten]

I think a lot of the guilt goes to the original movie. Spielberg (Apparently under Crichton's watch so a lot of blame can be put on him(?)) turned a dark diatribe against humans playing god into a movie that is calculatedly made for pop-culture. It is good, but like everything about the movie was designed to maximize the general audience loving it.

 

[A Grey Cat]

I think a lot of the guilt goes to the original movie. Spielberg (Apparently under Crichton's watch so a lot of blame can be put on him(?)) turned a dark diatribe against humans playing god into a movie that is calculatedly made for pop-culture. It is good, but like everything about the movie was designed to maximize the general audience loving it.

For better or for wores that's what we got....though i often wonder if the same would have happened if the original director had been picked. None other than James Friggin Cameron himself, fresh of T2 judgement day no less!

 

[namelesstacotruck]

Saw the movie. It was fine. Didnt disrespect any established characters. Black lesbian was even fine and stayed in her lane of compotence. (At no point was she shown as more compotent at dino stuff than established cast) Would put it above Fallen Kingdom and Jurassic Park 3.

Critics hate it due to lack of subversion and allowing straight white couple to be unambigiusly good and heroic more than anything. If you were able to manage disbelief this many movies its hard for me to see how this one is the one that went too far.

Dinosaurs apreading so far and so fast was a wut moment but i give movies one conceit usually

 

[Android raptor]

How was it? Also question is dewanda IDK who the fuck she is cause I'm old and out of touch.... Is her character really am bad as everyone is saying? Did they really go all out with her "lesbianism " or was just a throwaway line like "my girlfriend and I. " that universal can conveniently cut out for release in the united Arab Emirates, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, and especially China?

She was actually a cool character, and it was just a few lines alluding to her finding Claire attractive. I don't think she came off as a token.

I thought it was fun, and had lots of different critters which is the most important thing, including a few Permian bois.

 

[Neet Tokusatsu]

They sort of do with the only commandant being guns are bad and thus they're not to be used either at all on the dinosaurs. As decree by anti-gun Spielberg.

Makes sense i guess, considering how left-leaning most of Hollywood is, people solving a problem by using guns, as in a group of armed civilians successfully repealing an alien invasion/zombie apocalypse/dinosaur outbreak etc. would be a big no-no nowadays.

That would make for an actually interesting series if the less outright threatening dinosaurs were just a part of life. Could you catch every Compy? Not likely, they're going to probably be a real pain in the ass if not watched in cities and certainly in the wild. Especially if it focused more on the dinosaurs not being extremely kill-crazed like they are in the movies.

I absolutely get that a movie about dinosaurs running the hell away from most things wouldn't be entertaining but most dangerous animals now can be scared off by being loud, sudden motion, or all sorts of human inventions. Dinosaur 'Rangers' or whatever would be a fascinating thing to see.

I think that would work better as a some kind fake documentary series, i doubt most normies would pay to see a movie where dinosaurs behave like normal animals.

 

[Owen Grady]

It's funny how the Jurassic World trilogy has followed pretty much the exact trajectory as the Star Wars sequel trilogy:

First movie takes a familiar formula, but puts just enough of a new spin on it to lead to huge box-office success, getting some minor criticism for being derivative but otherwise leaving fans optimistic about the future of the franchise.

Second movie completely shits on everything familiar about the franchise, totally alienating the fanbase, though still being a big financial success just by virtue of its brand.

Third movie pretty much throws everything at the wall in an effort to make something work, gets an even worse reaction than the previous entry, and leaves everyone pretty much blackpilled on the franchise ever being any good again.

One thing I will cut them slack on, and the reason I am not really angry about the World trilogy, is the because of intent of the movies. The Star Wars sequels were made intentionally to spite the franchise and desecrate a popular western mythos, and I genuinely hate the people behind those films like Kathleen Kennedy and J.J. Abrams for what they did.

Colin Trevorrow’s decisions on the first Jurassic World film and his rumored actions taken during his involvement in the creation of the Star Wars sequels makes me willing to give him the the benefit of the doubt in that regard. I think he does want to do the best he can with Jurassic Park, and he may even care about it himself, but I believe the problem is that he doesn’t truly understand it.

I mentioned this a while back but what so many people, including lots of so-called Jurassic Park fans, do not understand is that Jurassic Park is not about dinosaurs. It’s about ethics in science and man’s refusal to accept when he has gone too far. In some ways with JW:FK and JW Trevorrow made the same mistake that Jurassic Park III did by assuming that all the viewing audience really wants is to see a big thrill ride with dinosaurs and nothing else (plus nostalgia in this case). To be fair the intelligence of the average moviegoer has surely dropped greatly since 2001, so he may not be totally wrong there, but there is so much more to a good Jurassic Park film than that.

Critics hate it due to lack of subversion and allowing straight white couple to be unambigiusly good and heroic more than anything. If you were able to manage disbelief this many movies its hard for me to see how this one is the one that went too far.

I heard that the critics didn't like this movie, but I was sure that it wasn't for the same reasons I had. This is actually a really good point that I hadn't considered which, if true, backs up why I don't think the problems afflicted to this franchise are intentional. Stuff like this. Like the nontroversies about Claire's high heels in the first World as well as Trevorrow's Twitter comment back when where he speculated that the reason women don't direct very many sci-fi or horror films is simply because they just generally aren't as interested in those genres as men. These things make me think that he isn't as absorbed by wokeness as people who have been in the inner circle for longer than he has.

While I am disappointed and a little sad about how the Jurassic World films ended up, I'm not really angry about it the way I am about other franchises, despite the fact that Jurassic Park is the one that I care about the most. In a way I almost think it's the second best/least awful way for the franchise to end. Not because of intentional woke desecration of its lore, but simply by just becoming shitty movies made by people with decent intentions who just don't understand them. You know, the way movies used to stop being good back before current year.
--
Edited because I don't know how I forgot to mention since you said it earlier in your post but this

Didnt disrespect any established characters. Black lesbian was even fine and stayed in her lane of compotence. (At no point was she shown as more compotent at dino stuff than established cast)

is another good piece of evidence why I don't think the problem is intentional wokeness. Despite their reunion dialogue being cheesy as all hell and sounding like something being read from a fanfiction, the return of the original cast was done with respect and they were not rewritten to be deadbeat losers or killed off "to make way for a new generation" or some shit. Some people might say the actors might look a little weak to see in their old age or whatever but their appearances were treated with way more respect and care than the arguably even more iconic cast of the original Star Wars trilogy.

 

[draggs]

Just saw it and took some time to catch up with the thread. It wasn't very good but I guess I enjoyed it, if that makes sense. Despite what everybody seems to be saying it isn't very woke in my opinion outside of a vague one-liner about implied lesbianism, the hyped-up eco message (which on some level Jurassic Park has always kind of had anyway, though admittedly not to the level that was presented in this film), and a bunch of unnecessary new nigger characters. Although I really liked that they brought back Omar Sy as Barry, because I liked him in the first Jurassic World and was hoping to see him again.

There are problems with it. A lot. I want to lay them all out here and I might do that eventually but I'm gonna need to do it in some big master post at some point because I never even got around to posting about the problems I had with Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. I will elaborate on one of my biggest problems with it though.

Basically, one of my biggest issues with the last two films lies in the idea of bringing the dinosaurs permanently off the island in the first place. It isn't something that can be done, story wise, while still being respectful of the originals. Taking the animals off the island and then spouting bullshit about somehow learning to coexist with them goes against the entire message of the original couple of movies. As someone mentioned before, the end of The Lost World: Jurassic Park explicitly states that the best thing for a world with man and dinosaurs existing together is that they stay the hell away from each other. The new message about being able to coexist with dinosaurs in the modern world is not only directly opposed to the original message of the first trilogy but is also objectively false and against natural law. Jurassic Park used to be respected for its strives towards relative scientific accuracy, but these last two films have been based entirely on a demonstrably false fantasy. Animals in nature do not coexist with each other the way the dinosaurs interact with modern animals in Jurassic World: Dominion. If dinosaurs were ever released upon the modern world in real life only one of two things would happen:

1. The dinosaurs would all catch modern diseases in a heartbeat and die, or be eradicated by authorities and hunters appropriately or,

2. The dinosaurs would devastate the natural ecological balance of the planet and literally destroy the world. Can you imagine how badly an invasive wave of Compsognathus would fuck up the environment?

I can see option 2 being portrayed perhaps in Crichton's book universe, which is much darker and more cynical than the film universe, in order to illustrate the consequences of man's actions playing out. But that option is far too dark for the more wonder-oriented, light-hearted (relatively speaking) tone of the film universe, and if it were done it would obviously not be received well by audiences.

Whenever I try to explain this I realize a little how it must have felt to be Ian Malcolm trying to explain to John Hammond why trying to recreate extinct organisms is a bad idea. It's sadly poetic I guess. I really, really liked the first Jurassic World, but I'm not sure these last two films really even feel like Jurassic Park movies. They feel more like trippy Jurassic Park-themed fever dreams. They are not always a hundred percent bad fever dreams. There are some decent things about them, I guess. But they are still fever dreams.

Crichton hammers home life finds a way so hard in the books. The InGen people say the dinosaurs can't live because the lysene shit, Malcolm says look at these dinosaurs their bodies are adapted for a Jurassic earth not modern earth, but in the end escaped dinosaurs are surviving and implied to be thriving in the mountains in Costa Rica. But when Hammond specifically raises the idea of the dinosaurs escaping the island and destroying the ecology of the world Malcolm flips the fuck out on him for saying something so retarded.

The very end of the first novel is most accurate to what would happen and why these last two JW movies are shit. The Costa Rican government napalms the island from the air and sends in infantry to make sure the dinosaurs are all dead, and that's it. All the dinosaurs on the island are eradicated. They've already spread to the mainland and are still at Site B, but come on, humanity would absolutely extinctify any species as big as a velociraptor or larger unless it was a small population living in extremely rough terrain with lots of cover, like mountain jungles. What the fuck are dinosaurs going to do against jet bombers and tanks and rocket launchers and 20mm autocannons and shit lol

 

[Kari Kamiya]

So the credits are rolling.

Ummmmmm...

I'm gonna come back to this post. I need to chew on it. But the people are leaving rather quietly and forlornly. Kinda telling.

EDIT, alright, I got my thoughts together talking it out with a buddy.

Spoiler: The positives

Blue was relegated to the background, much to my relief. I feared she was going to get much more attention here. Yeah, we had Beta, but she was mostly there to just look cute.

Acknowledgement the ecosystem has gone out-of-whack. But it's still, unfortunately, just an acknowledgement and not really expanded upon.

Biosyn finally got their day in the spotlight.

Feathered dinosaurs acknowledged.

The jump scare in the amber mines. I knew it was going to come, but those Dimetrodon were unsettling. Probably because they were practical--the fact there were practical effects was nice, but it still feels like it took a backseat to CGI.

The sequence of Claire slowly crawling away from the Therizinosaurus was tense.

Locusts' first introduction with the crying, screaming kids was what I wanted in terms of "This is what's going on in the world" cause-and-effect of letting loose dinosaurs.

Killer raptors chase scene was neat, though it may have gone on for too long.

Poacher had the most brutal death, and it's probably the only real satisfaction to be had in this film.

Retcon(?) of Maisie not being a clone was surprisingly smooth. Still really weird, and she's still a test-tube baby, but at least she's not a clone. But the implications of her mother shoving a turkey baster up her snatch instead of just getting married because "muh girlboss career move" or something is rather cringe.

Spoiler: The negatives

It felt like there was supposed to be a different story. There is just not much about dinosaurs and humans actually co-existing or getting up-close and personal in the wild/suburbia. There's also a mixed message of how the dinosaurs are disrupting the balance, but at the same time, poaching bad. Like yeah, poaching is bad, but there should be ways to exterminate invasive species humanely, right?

Ecosystem was fucked because of the locusts, not the dinosaurs. Hell, how are there so many dinosaurs already?

No follow-up on the Raptor Lady's arrest. She was fugly-looking anyway, but you'd still think there'd be something about that later.

No follow-up to what the governments wanted with the dinosaurs from back in Fallen Kingdom. Maybe that's what those killer raptors were, but I couldn't always figure out the lady's thick accent, so I don't know what was the point of dragging them to Africa.

Dodgson wanting to control the world's supply of food or something is so dumb and short-sighted. Was this the point of it all? Kill off the planet to make a profit?

Alan and Ellie's hookup. Remember the conversation Ellie had with Claire when they were going to shut off the power? The one about how past regrets shouldn't keep you from moving forward into the future? Fuck that shit, I guess. Someone on that writing team was just so super pissed for these last 20 years that the two never married and had kids that they just felt like they had to fix that problem, even though I don't think the fans cared all that much about it when compared to III's other decisions. Oh, speaking of...

What the fuck was that weak-sauce climatic battle? They built up Giganotosaurus as the alpha predator, and it couldn't even kill a T-Rex? Absolute pussy. Chad Spinosaurus still reigns supreme.

It felt like everyone had character decadence, but at the same time, they didn't feel like actual characters. No one felt like a legit human being in this film, they were just guided by the motions.

Dr. Wu didn't die, but we didn't get a proper moment of clarity, either. It felt like his and Dodgson's roles were reversed or something, 'cause Dodgson got what was coming to him, but it was like Wu's death was ripped from the book and given to him instead. I dunno, Wu shouldn't have gotten away with it.

So mixed feelings and I'm not getting the "Worst movie ever" vibe from it, but I just feel exhausted, unsatisfied, and disappointed. There should've been something more to this, or something different. I almost feel like we've been mislead with the marketing these last two years. Why even show these clips of dinosaurs at campsites and drive-in theaters if they weren't going to be prevalent, key moments to the story?

 

[Wampak]

Well I saw it, and man, does this movie have shockingly a lot in common with Locusts The 8th Plague

But seriously though, I liked it fine. The black pilot woman was annoying but other than that it was pretty fun. The action scene in Malta was cool. I liked seeing the old characters back, nostalgia pandering aside. I guess these movies are my version of guilty pleasure Marvel capeshit. I still don't know how the Giganotosaurus was the Joker though.