Jurassic Park/World megathread - Spared no expense.

[A Grey Cat]

Just got back from seeing this.

Spoiler

Woke AF. They introduce two new characters, a black guy and and a black girl. The girl basically says she's a lesbian. Has nothing to do with the plot or anything. Plus either Her or the black guy save everyone else multiple times.

There goes the last lingering thread of my childhood wonderment

EDIT: Found in the second page in the search for Jurassic world 3's news listings.


https://www.hollywoodintoto.com/jurassic-world-dominion-woke-blockbuster/

 

[Associate Rick]

I like JP3 too. It has a very believable set up that really fits the theme of human arrogance rather than stupidity: after the world becomes aware of Jurassic Park and the dinos, it's not at all surprising that some people are venturing to the islands to see the dinos in the same way people try to climb the Everest. It's arrogance what makes them see the island as a theme park rather than a place where there are dangerous creatures. Same when Billy steals the eggs.

I also like the Kirbys.

I enjoyed it much more after rewatching it recently, still can't get over that really stupid line Grant says at the beginning though, pretty much:

Grant - Nothing on heaven or earth could get me back on that island
Kirby - here's lots of money
Grant - ok

 

[HarryHowler]

Just got back from seeing this.

Spoiler

Woke AF. They introduce two new characters, a black guy and and a black girl. The girl basically says she's a lesbian. Has nothing to do with the plot or anything. Plus either Her or the black guy save everyone else multiple times.

Apparently Trevorrow wrote a scene (which was chopped out by the studio) in Fallen Kingdom where that latina chick said she was normally a lesbian, but that she would totally date Pratt because of how dreamy he was. I get the feeling he might have been sent on a diversity course in-between that movie and this one.

Spoiler

And if they were going to go with the "black chick who constantly saves the day" angle, they could have at least brought back Kelly from The Lost World.

I enjoyed it much more after rewatching it recently, still can't get over that really stupid line Grant says at the beginning though, pretty much:

Grant - Nothing on heaven or earth could get me back on that island
Kirby - here's lots of money
Grant - ok

Tbf, he only agreed to that A) after it became clear that his dig was going to have to be shut down unless they got a cash injection very quickly, and B) thinking that they were only going to fly over the island, not actually land on it.

 

[Neetness]

I enjoyed it much more after rewatching it recently, still can't get over that really stupid line Grant says at the beginning though, pretty much:

Grant - Nothing on heaven or earth could get me back on that island
Kirby - here's lots of money
Grant - ok

He thought he was only going to fly over it and give commentary.

 

[Owen Grady]

Just saw it and took some time to catch up with the thread. It wasn't very good but I guess I enjoyed it, if that makes sense. Despite what everybody seems to be saying it isn't very woke in my opinion outside of a vague one-liner about implied lesbianism, the hyped-up eco message (which on some level Jurassic Park has always kind of had anyway, though admittedly not to the level that was presented in this film), and a bunch of unnecessary new nigger characters. Although I really liked that they brought back Omar Sy as Barry, because I liked him in the first Jurassic World and was hoping to see him again.

There are problems with it. A lot. I want to lay them all out here and I might do that eventually but I'm gonna need to do it in some big master post at some point because I never even got around to posting about the problems I had with Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. I will elaborate on one of my biggest problems with it though.

Basically, one of my biggest issues with the last two films lies in the idea of bringing the dinosaurs permanently off the island in the first place. It isn't something that can be done, story wise, while still being respectful of the originals. Taking the animals off the island and then spouting bullshit about somehow learning to coexist with them goes against the entire message of the original couple of movies. As someone mentioned before, the end of The Lost World: Jurassic Park explicitly states that the best thing for a world with man and dinosaurs existing together is that they stay the hell away from each other. The new message about being able to coexist with dinosaurs in the modern world is not only directly opposed to the original message of the first trilogy but is also objectively false and against natural law. Jurassic Park used to be respected for its strives towards relative scientific accuracy, but these last two films have been based entirely on a demonstrably false fantasy. Animals in nature do not coexist with each other the way the dinosaurs interact with modern animals in Jurassic World: Dominion. If dinosaurs were ever released upon the modern world in real life only one of two things would happen:

1. The dinosaurs would all catch modern diseases in a heartbeat and die, or be eradicated by authorities and hunters appropriately or,

2. The dinosaurs would devastate the natural ecological balance of the planet and literally destroy the world. Can you imagine how badly an invasive wave of Compsognathus would fuck up the environment?

I can see option 2 being portrayed perhaps in Crichton's book universe, which is much darker and more cynical than the film universe, in order to illustrate the consequences of man's actions playing out. But that option is far too dark for the more wonder-oriented, light-hearted (relatively speaking) tone of the film universe, and if it were done it would obviously not be received well by audiences.

Whenever I try to explain this I realize a little how it must have felt to be Ian Malcolm trying to explain to John Hammond why trying to recreate extinct organisms is a bad idea. It's sadly poetic I guess. I really, really liked the first Jurassic World, but I'm not sure these last two films really even feel like Jurassic Park movies. They feel more like trippy Jurassic Park-themed fever dreams. They are not always a hundred percent bad fever dreams. There are some decent things about them, I guess. But they are still fever dreams.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Just saw it and took some time to catch up with the thread. It wasn't very good but I guess I enjoyed it, if that makes sense. Despite what everybody seems to be saying it isn't very woke in my opinion outside of a vague one-liner about implied lesbianism, the hyped-up eco message (which on some level Jurassic Park has always kind of had anyway, though admittedly not to the level that was presented in this film), and a bunch of unnecessary new nigger characters. Although I really liked that they brought back Omar Sy as Barry, because I liked him in the first Jurassic World and was hoping to see him again.

There are problems with it. A lot. I want to lay them all out here and I might do that eventually but I'm gonna need to do it in some big master post at some point because I never even got around to posting about the problems I had with Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. I will elaborate on one of my biggest problems with it though.

Basically, one of my biggest issues with the last two films lies in the idea of bringing the dinosaurs permanently off the island in the first place. It isn't something that can be done, story wise, while still being respectful of the originals. Taking the animals off the island and then spouting bullshit about somehow learning to coexist with them goes against the entire message of the original couple of movies. As someone mentioned before, the end of The Lost World: Jurassic Park explicitly states that the best thing for a world with man and dinosaurs existing together is that they stay the hell away from each other. The new message about being able to coexist with dinosaurs in the modern world is not only directly opposed to the original message of the first trilogy but is also objectively false and against natural law. Jurassic Park used to be respected for its strives towards relative scientific accuracy, but these last two films have been based entirely on a demonstrably false fantasy. Animals in nature do not coexist with each other the way the dinosaurs interact with modern animals in Jurassic World: Dominion. If dinosaurs were ever released upon the modern world in real life only one of two things would happen:

1. The dinosaurs would all catch modern diseases in a heartbeat and die, or be eradicated by authorities and hunters appropriately or,

2. The dinosaurs would devastate the natural ecological balance of the planet and literally destroy the world. Can you imagine how badly an invasive wave of Compsognathus would fuck up the environment?

I can see option 2 being portrayed perhaps in Crichton's book universe, which is much darker and more cynical than the film universe, in order to illustrate the consequences of man's actions playing out. But that option is far too dark for the more wonder-oriented, light-hearted (relatively speaking) tone of the film universe, and if it were done it would obviously not be received well by audiences.

Whenever I try to explain this I realize a little how it must have felt to be Ian Malcolm trying to explain to John Hammond why trying to recreate extinct organisms is a bad idea. It's sadly poetic I guess. I really, really liked the first Jurassic World, but I'm not sure these last two films really even feel like Jurassic Park movies. They feel more like trippy Jurassic Park-themed fever dreams. They are not always a hundred percent bad fever dreams. There are some decent things about them, I guess. But they are still fever dreams.

You day one thing everyone else says the opposite, I just... Don't know what to believe anymore. Why'd everything get so complicated in my old age?

 

[Coptakhenaten]

Has anyone grown up on the SNES game? It isn't perfect - very cryptic, the FPS section is pretty bad (But impressive given it didn't use a super FX processor), and no save feature - but the overworld section, music, graphics, atmosphere, exploration aspect, and premise are pretty great. Even had a cool secret room you could find. Underrated game, one of the few times a movie game isn't just garbage.

 

[Tasty Tatty]

Just saw it and took some time to catch up with the thread. It wasn't very good but I guess I enjoyed it, if that makes sense. Despite what everybody seems to be saying it isn't very woke in my opinion outside of a vague one-liner about implied lesbianism, the hyped-up eco message (which on some level Jurassic Park has always kind of had anyway, though admittedly not to the level that was presented in this film), and a bunch of unnecessary new nigger characters. Although I really liked that they brought back Omar Sy as Barry, because I liked him in the first Jurassic World and was hoping to see him again.

There are problems with it. A lot. I want to lay them all out here and I might do that eventually but I'm gonna need to do it in some big master post at some point because I never even got around to posting about the problems I had with Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. I will elaborate on one of my biggest problems with it though.

Basically, one of my biggest issues with the last two films lies in the idea of bringing the dinosaurs permanently off the island in the first place. It isn't something that can be done, story wise, while still being respectful of the originals. Taking the animals off the island and then spouting bullshit about somehow learning to coexist with them goes against the entire message of the original couple of movies. As someone mentioned before, the end of The Lost World: Jurassic Park explicitly states that the best thing for a world with man and dinosaurs existing together is that they stay the hell away from each other. The new message about being able to coexist with dinosaurs in the modern world is not only directly opposed to the original message of the first trilogy but is also objectively false and against natural law. Jurassic Park used to be respected for its strives towards relative scientific accuracy, but these last two films have been based entirely on a demonstrably false fantasy. Animals in nature do not coexist with each other the way the dinosaurs interact with modern animals in Jurassic World: Dominion. If dinosaurs were ever released upon the modern world in real life only one of two things would happen:

1. The dinosaurs would all catch modern diseases in a heartbeat and die, or be eradicated by authorities and hunters appropriately or,

2. The dinosaurs would devastate the natural ecological balance of the planet and literally destroy the world. Can you imagine how badly an invasive wave of Compsognathus would fuck up the environment?

I can see option 2 being portrayed perhaps in Crichton's book universe, which is much darker and more cynical than the film universe, in order to illustrate the consequences of man's actions playing out. But that option is far too dark for the more wonder-oriented, light-hearted (relatively speaking) tone of the film universe, and if it were done it would obviously not be received well by audiences.

Whenever I try to explain this I realize a little how it must have felt to be Ian Malcolm trying to explain to John Hammond why trying to recreate extinct organisms is a bad idea. It's sadly poetic I guess. I really, really liked the first Jurassic World, but I'm not sure these last two films really even feel like Jurassic Park movies. They feel more like trippy Jurassic Park-themed fever dreams. They are not always a hundred percent bad fever dreams. There are some decent things about them, I guess. But they are still fever dreams.

I think that one of the failures of the current trilogy is that they keep attributing this to Hammond's dream. "Hammond would have wanted this."

Fuck no.

It's very clear at the end of JPI that he was done with the idea of making JP a real park. He was sad about it, but he understood. And by JPII, he only wanted the dinos to be kept alive because he still saw them as living beings with no guilt (obviously). Anyone from the original trilogy, from the paleos to the kids would have straight up told you "no, don't mix humans with dinos." I think the only efforts he would have wanted was to keep the islands isolated and only work there with experts to take care of the dinos and study them, leaving nature follow its course (either surviving or eventually getting extinct.)



They even had a statue of Hammond in JW, like he would be onboard with all of this. Wherever he is, he's chuckling at all the disaster that happened because he warned them. Like the website where I took this image from says, he would have never agreed with children riding baby dinosaurs, he saw them as animals to admire, not to treat them like pets.

 

[That Chris Guy]

Has anyone grown up on the SNES game? It isn't perfect - very cryptic, the FPS section is pretty bad (But impressive given it didn't use a super FX processor), and no save feature - but the overworld section, music, graphics, atmosphere, exploration aspect, and premise are pretty great. Even had a cool secret room you could find. Underrated game, one of the few times a movie game isn't just garbage.

Is that the top-down version where you FPS through things like the generator bunker, a cargo ship, raptor tunnels, etc.? I loved that shit. I even manually drew out a map at the time so I didn't get lost in those stupid tunnels trying to find everything.
________________________________________

The problem with Jurassic World and its sequels - and why I despise them - is because they keep trying to pretend these dinosaurs are super fucking smart and impervious to normal animalistic pitfalls, and basically go Babby's First Genetics Class and automatically assume having another animal's DNA as filler material makes you adopt key aspects of those animals.

They're just so fucking stupid and survive on brand recognition alone. Like how Jurassic World is somehow praised with modern consumers...the same kind of people who think an animal knows that by scratching up a wall and hiding in the bushes, their handlers will come in and investigate, so they can kill them...or that it "remembers" where a chip was planted in its body, and that by removing it a team of specialists will come after the chip, so that it can ambush them...

 

[Coptakhenaten]

Is that the top-down version where you FPS through things like the generator bunker, a cargo ship, raptor tunnels, etc.? I loved that shit. I even manually drew out a map at the time so I didn't get lost in those stupid tunnels trying to find everything.
________________________________________

The problem with Jurassic World and its sequels - and why I despise them - is because they keep trying to pretend these dinosaurs are super fucking smart and impervious to normal animalistic pitfalls, and basically go Babby's First Genetics Class and automatically assume having another animal's DNA as filler material makes you adopt key aspects of those animals.

They're just so fucking stupid and survive on brand recognition alone. Like how Jurassic World is somehow praised with modern consumers...the same kind of people who think an animal knows that by scratching up a wall and hiding in the bushes, their handlers will come in and investigate, so they can kill them...or that it "remembers" where a chip was planted in its body, and that by removing it a team of specialists will come after the chip, so that it can ambush them...

It was my second SNES game (First was a translated rom of DQI+II) and I have a crapton of nostalgia for it.

I think Jurassic Park 3 handled the idea of a genetic hybrids best with Spinosaurus. They don't go in your face and say it; it was just implied a lot with how erratic it acted, how abnormally built it was, and just how different it acted from even more intelligent dinos like the Raptors that it was a haphazard genetic mistake of Ingen rather than an animal with some level of intelligence like the others.

 

[Associate Rick]

He thought he was only going to fly over it and give commentary.

Fair enough, I just thought the line was overkill

 

[A Grey Cat]

It was my second SNES game (First was a translated rom of DQI+II) and I have a crapton of nostalgia for it.

My earliest memories of being alive go back to playing that game and mk II at the arcade with my dad. ♥

Anyway couple YouTube personalites give reviews on dominion Jeremy jahans (who I often confuse for the lolcow Chris stuckman) body leach gave a first impressions video, and Brad Jones.

At least Cody's kids had fun especially his youngest. Reminds me of myself at that age I used to do the same thing.

 

[HarryHowler]

Whenever I try to explain this I realize a little how it must have felt to be Ian Malcolm trying to explain to John Hammond why trying to recreate extinct organisms is a bad idea. It's sadly poetic I guess. I really, really liked the first Jurassic World, but I'm not sure these last two films really even feel like Jurassic Park movies. They feel more like trippy Jurassic Park-themed fever dreams. They are not always a hundred percent bad fever dreams. There are some decent things about them, I guess. But they are still fever dreams.

It's funny how the Jurassic World trilogy has followed pretty much the exact trajectory as the Star Wars sequel trilogy:

First movie takes a familiar formula, but puts just enough of a new spin on it to lead to huge box-office success, getting some minor criticism for being derivative but otherwise leaving fans optimistic about the future of the franchise.

Second movie completely shits on everything familiar about the franchise, totally alienating the fanbase, though still being a big financial success just by virtue of its brand.

Third movie pretty much throws everything at the wall in an effort to make something work, gets an even worse reaction than the previous entry, and leaves everyone pretty much blackpilled on the franchise ever being any good again.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

It's funny how the Jurassic World trilogy has followed pretty much the exact trajectory as the Star Wars sequel trilogy:

First movie takes a familiar formula, but puts just enough of a new spin on it to lead to huge box-office success, getting some minor criticism for being derivative but otherwise leaving fans optimistic about the future of the franchise.

Second movie completely shits on everything familiar about the franchise, totally alienating the fanbase, though still being a big financial success just by virtue of its brand.

Third movie pretty much throws everything at the wall in an effort to make something work, gets an even worse reaction than the previous entry, and leaves everyone pretty much blackpilled on the franchise ever being any good again.

I think there’s like one major difference between the Jurassic World trilogy and the Sequel trilogy is that there was only one great movie in the Jurassic series and not many people really like the sequels that much except for a few ideas.

I do find it funny how overtime the series became the very problem the first film explored while the audience who grew up became Ian Malcolm

 

[TVB]

I only watched Jurassic World in theatres back when it came out in 2015. I pirated Fallen Kingdom and only watched twenty minutes of it before shutting it off and watched Die Hard with a Vengeance instead. I have no plans on seeing this third movie at all because of how much the filmmakers keep fucking up Jurassic Park to a T.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Some more reviews from notable internet personalities; Oliver Harper, Cody Leach's full review, and Doug walker's non nostalgia critic take (though I'm fairly certain this movie will end up on NC someday)

So far it feels like Compared to the Star Wars sequel trilogy the JW trilogy is the lesser of two evils....but that Isn't saying much. It's basically a pick your poison situation.

 

[LightDragonman1]

Man, and I thought Fallen Kingdom essentially being this franchise’s Transformers The Last Knight wasn’t bad enough.

Seriously, of all the things you could make the brand new evil creature be, you pick locusts?

 

[Kari Kamiya]

Haven't been in this thread in a few days, but oh my goodness looks like it blew up.

My brothers and I are seeing it tonight, so I'll be back with my thoughts then. I try not to let things color my expectations going in, but my friend mentioned to me (since he works at a movie theater) that people were seen walking out of the movie within the hour. That's... not good.

 

[Uranus Pink]

I wonder if there's some sort of "bible" for these movies that specifically states that no "important" dinosaur can be shown killed on-screen or something like that.

They sort of do with the only commandant being guns are bad and thus they're not to be used either at all on the dinosaurs. As decree by anti-gun Spielberg.

 

[Captain Autism69]

I just got back from watching this.
Run time: 2.5 hours
Plot: Eeeer magic locust bugs and for some reason they go to an island with dinosaurs...I am confused.
Woke: STONG BLACK DIVERSITY HIRE(S) save the day in every situation and there's a line which is easy to delete for the middle eastern/China market about femnig being a lesbo.
Ending: I laughed out loud, as did some others in the cinema when it showed triceratops and elephants, pterosaus and ducks, giraffes and longnecks living side by side happy...if only nigs and everyone else could just get along the world would be incredible!
Oh, and the locusts are both vunerable to fire, and immune as they seem to burn forever and still get back up, and explode when eaten by dinosaurs.
Best character: Baby blue.

Oh, the CGI dino's looked shit compared to the OG JP.