Do Middle Class White Men That Want Trad Wives Really Exist?

[Gaystapo]

I really don't trust stay at home fathers as a concept. I do not think that men are on average, joyful/warm homemakers, and in my experience... men really "acclimate" to only deliver the bare minimum of work that solves whatever situation they're in. I really do not want to see a house run by a SAH father, nor do I trust men who want to be one.

My ex's dad was temporarily one for a few years when she was really young. He didn't stay one for very long though. If the mom makes an insane amount of money, then it makes sense for the dad to be the stay-at-home one.

 

[Perfect Day]

One kid is probably going to cost you anywhere between 50k to 150k a year depending on how much ambition you have for them.
I might be able to take home 100k to 200k before tax but then I have to pay taxes, mortgage, expenses, holiday. It's simply not possible to do that on a single income even as a skilled worker.
For me it's less about your political opinions and more about whether we are on the same page regarding where and when to have kids. It's tough enough. I couldn't care less if a woman is left wing or right wing as long as she is not retarded or a selfish asshole. I guess women would probably say the same thing about men.

 

[Jewish Fantasy Race]

My ex's dad was temporarily one for a few years when she was really young. He didn't stay one for very long though.

It's definitely a good sign if a father is (as all parents should be) ready to do whatever is necessary, even if it's not ideal

 

[The Hardest R]

My wife stays at home. But she has a profitable side business that makes her a lot of money for only a few hours a week. She also tutors a couple kids to scratch her teaching itch and volunteers a bit a month at a pet shelter. We’ve had this arrangement for five years now. We have four kids, our own house and a sizable nest egg. The key to all this is that I’m eight years older than her and I started saving and investing early on. I also got an MS in engineering and an MBA. I’m in my mid 30s and she’s in her late 20s. She hates feminism more than I do. It’s a great setup!

Would I be able to afford this setup if I wasn’t doing well career-wise? Of course not. But I know plenty of couples that spend obscene amounts of money on childcare, to the point where it’s probably worth the trade off for one to stay home. If you have to shell out $3k+ per month for childcare, one spouse is better off just staying at home.

 

[Among Us Gaming]

Make a decent amount of money for your area. Not rich, but comfortable, if you know how to budget. Maybe you are college educated, but trades/military are also good.

This is too vague. Yes, 100k a year is worth a lot more in Tulsa than LA, but I think we can consider outliers to be outliers and put down actual numbers.

Both of these things can be true. The middle class is uniquely squeezed, in that the poor have all their needs met by government, and the rich can afford everything, while those in the middle face the true costs of things constantly rising, without the resources to shrug it off.

This however is the truth of the matter. Mean income right now is 67k a year. If you're not in your late twenties, you won't see anything remotely close to that, and even then you won't see much, especially in this job market. I'll also take this opportunity to get on my soapbox and tell people to knock it off with the "trades" talk. Unless you run your own business (which will put you around upper middle class), or are part of a union (HIGHLY regional) you will be very lucky to reach that mean income by 30.

 

[The Gay Oboma Creature]

Just genuinely curious. And I've never found this. Most middle class white men are scared shitless of being the provider.

The obvious answer is that "tradwife" is a bundle of contributions in the same sense that "partner" is a bundle of contributions. There are lots of guys who prefer the former over the latter but you need to actually be able to provide the former.

The $500k a year finance bro willing to totally financially support his 23 year old wife who owns a pinterest store making $500 a year is getting a young, attractive wife who will give him three kids and be pleasant and loyal to him. He sees that as a good deal.

The $100k a year Reddit user whose girlfriend also makes $100k is getting occasional sex, split rent, and half the housework done by someone he can tolerate, in exchange for his partner getting the same. He sees that as a good deal.

The 35 year old woman who does not want to work but has already given away her youth and does not want to cook or raise children, I am sorry to say, is not a good deal for either of these guys. You are allowed to pick a bundle of benefits and responsibilities, but you are not allowed to pick the benefits of both bundles and the responsibilities of neither. Men aren't interested in giving you that.

 

[The Hardest R]

The 35 year old woman who does not want to work but has already given away her youth and does not want to cook or raise children, I am sorry to say, is not a good deal for either of these guys. You are allowed to pick a bundle of benefits and responsibilities, but you are not allowed to pick the benefits of both bundles and the responsibilities of neither. Men aren't interested in giving you that.

These guys do exist but it’s purely in the realm of 50+ year old divorced men who have grown children and don’t want any more. They’ve been burned by divorce but still think marriage is the endgame for a relationship. They are often at their financial peak, unburdened by child support payments and sometimes no alimony at this stage.

I mean, if you’re a 35 year old woman and you’re wanting a high value man your age who will let you scroll all day, those guys are few and far between because there’s younger, more attractive women available to him.

I have an uncle who is 56 and does very well for himself. He put a ring on a 33 year old who looks cute, isn’t fat, and they seem to travel often. His kids are both out of college, she doesn’t want children, etc. We’ll see if the marriage lasts but everything seems to be going well thus far.

 

[The Gay Oboma Creature]

These guys do exist but it’s purely in the realm of 50+ year old divorced men who have grown children and don’t want any more.

I mean, that's effectively a sugar daddy relationship, right? Credulous boomers giving their children's inheritance to 30 year old SEAmonkeys isn't a new phenomenon, and I'm sure other races get in on it as well, but I don't think it counts as a "real" relationship/marriage.

 

[No-Eyed Square Guy]

My peak earning years were when I was about 30 and at the time I lived in quasi-rural Japan with a younger de facto housewife (a failed artist, but she isn't failed anymore) and we were both very happy with the arrangement.

Then some things happened and I left, but that was the best life I've known. I've had two American girlboss wives too, and it's been fine and I don't mind because I'm way more of an asshole than they are, but...

What "trad" means is quiet. That is the right life.

 

[Gay Sex Enjoyer]

This nigga was a samurai and gave it up

 

[Jewish Fantasy Race]

The $500k a year finance bro willing to totally financially support his 23 year old wife who owns a pinterest store making $500 a year is getting a young, attractive wife who will give him three kids and be pleasant and loyal to him. He sees that as a good deal.

The $100k a year Reddit user whose girlfriend also makes $100k is getting occasional sex, split rent, and half the housework done by someone he can tolerate, in exchange for his partner getting the same. He sees that as a good deal.

This is an extremely accurate and reasonable post, but the transactional nature of what you're describing is just so depressing... in my mind, marriage is "two people find each other attractive, then fall in love, start a family, and then do whatever is necessary to ensure this family is provided for". Like, if you're not being driven by wanting to be with a specific person, where do you even get the energy to go through all this shit?

I would not work my ass off to pay for the presence of a sexy stranger I didn't completely and utterly love, and I would not ever clean the toilet of or have the babies of a man I did not completely and utterly love, nor would I share half of my life, time, and living space with some acceptably tolerable person I did not completely and utterly love. I just could not otherwise be fucked to do any of that. The exact nature of who works what hours and the luxuriousness of our car seems secondary.

 

[The Gay Oboma Creature]

This is an extremely accurate and reasonable post, but the transactional nature of what you're describing is just so depressing...

I don't think it's transactional, in practice. I put it in plain, mathematical, autistic terms, but it fundamentally works the other way around. People don't love their husbands/wives because they serve as good husbands/wives, people are intrinsically inclined to love those that would make good husbands/wives.

The first guy, to his wife, is not "$500k a year finance bro". He's someone who makes her life at once orderly and serendipitous, and whisked her away from a fake world of spreadsheets and powerpoints into a real world where she gets to play with her children, cultivate a garden, and create art. An immutable anchor of love and stability that puts everything in perspective. His wife, to him, is someone who brings levity and beauty into his life, and provides constant demonstrations of the innocence and sincerity that he is so proud to see in their children.

Love is real bros, and vastly more aesthetic than transactional. I want to underscore that. It's just that life isn't a slop romance novel, and women who want to 'be the table' are generally not very aesthetic, lovable people, so they don't get to experience it.

---

I will say that all of this is a lot easier and likelier in a healthy society that supports it instead of opposing it, and what should be a natural process takes a lot more directed effort when you don't have a community making it happen.

 

[Male Idiot]

This is an extremely accurate and reasonable post, but the transactional nature of what you're describing is just so depressing... in my mind, marriage is "two people find each other attractive, then fall in love, start a family, and then do whatever is necessary to ensure this family is provided for". Like, if you're not being driven by wanting to be with a specific person, where do you even get the energy to go through all this shit?

I would not work my ass off to pay for the presence of a sexy stranger I didn't completely and utterly love, and I would not ever clean the toilet of or have the babies of a man I did not completely and utterly love, nor would I share half of my life, time, and living space with some acceptably tolerable person I did not completely and utterly love. I just could not otherwise be fucked to do any of that. The exact nature of who works what hours and the luxuriousness of our car seems secondary.

I think it has always been like this.

It is hard, really hard to find that opposite sex soulmate. It can happen, but I would say it is a one out of ten marriages at best.