King solmons mines (1985)
This movie is Indiana Jones on crack. Literally every other scene once the chase is on has something insane or dumb happening in it and it got to the point that I was having trouble breathing from all the laughter I was having. This is the kind of movie where a giant african spider will show up out of nowhere to eat a dude and never show up again. Very based
Ok so Alan Quartermain (played by Richard Chamberlin) is the main character. You may remember him as the guy Sean connery was playing in extraordinary gentlemen. And as much as Id love to pretend this is the same universe somehow, this movie is completely unfaithful to the books and is better for it. Him and Sharon stone gotta... retrieve some diamonds or some shit from incompetent WWI germans (Completely historically inaccurate, they would have handed him his ass on a platter lol) and the AWESOME John Rhys Davies!
Look if you love Davies you'll enjoy this. He's playing a borderline cartoon villain who CANNOT BE KILLED. It is glorious shit.
And the music is iconic.
Give the sequel the lost city of gold (1986) a try too, it's not as good (hilariously insane) on account of a shoe string budget but it's got james earl jones with a foam ax, Elvria and a lost city of gold filled with white people.
American Ninja 4. (1990)
Watching this on netflix way back was a gloriously dumb experience. You dont need to know shit about the other movies. All you need to know is the ninjas and Muslum terrorists have formed an alliance and its up to two bad dudes trained in the ninja arts to stop them.
The standout performance here is from Michael Dudikoff. He acts like a man who has subtle ninja PTSD and is playing his complete and utter tired distain for ninjas straight. It leads to plenty of unintenionally funny moments every time he gets ambushed.
The last thirty mins has Michael recuit a bunch of discount Mad Max road warriors to go storm the ninja muslum compound. Kino. Honestly if nothing else the last couple mins of every american minja movie is worth a watch to see the military just machine gu;n ninjas by the truck load.
Ninja Assassin (2009)
It's literally an R rated American ninja movie. It's got buckets of (rather high quality) CGI blood, ridiculous awesome stunts and a badass finale of the military violently gunning down ninjas. Best of all, the cornball story is played completely straight and as brutal as possible. Very high quality for the time and a standout performance from Jung Ji "rain" Hoon ( a k pop singer) As a repentant ninja who is being hunted by his clan.
Masters of the Universe. (1987)
This movie is one of the greats. It's so earnest, so badass, so epic it becomes a masterpiece on the same level as star wars in my mind. CRIMINALLY underrated.
It's a perfect demonstration in how to take a franchise and make it intense. Not dark, not edgelord, but elevated enough that stakes are raised and shit gets real. The movie starts with a dark lord triumphant, the hero on the run and the good guys in dire straights. It's just the perfect amount of ballsey for a sci fi fantasy adaptation of a cartoon.
There's one thing you simply must watch this movie for, everything else is great and supports it well. But Frank Langella's performance As Skeletor IS PERFECTION
It is beyond amazing. He dominates the film and just... elevates everything around him. It's on the same level as Raul Julia from street fighter, (Frank also did it for his kids!)
His flunkies are no slouch either, Meg Foster is his right hand and she kills it as the sexy evil-Lyn. There's four badass bounty hunters (who you actually see do shit) An iconic army of dudes with laser rifles and just really badass set design.
He's the perfect bad guy, with the coolest army, the coolest minions, the coolest soundtrack! It doesn't get better then this.
And the good guys are great too! you got Dolph as He-Man and he just kills it. You want to see a big beefy badass with a sword and gun fighting the forces of darkness you've come to the right place. His co leads are great with a grizzled man at arms and a legit female action hero Teela.
Robert Duncan who played Tom Paris from voyager is in it, Courney cox is his Romanic lead. The commander from top gun is a clueless cop with a shotgun. You've got a gremlin looking leprechaun. It's good stuff.
I just love the designs and attention to detail, there is a very real love that was put into this movie and everything just comes together in a real earnest package. People bitch about the fish out of water moments on earth, but I really liked the way they spun it. It's not about a bunch of clueless idiots on earth, its about a bunch of badasses on a primative planet trying to repulse a full on invasion.
It's a delightful romp. Go see it.
Honerable mention
Overlord (2015)
If you want to see a show about a Skeletor role-player getting absolute power and taking over a fantasy world you'll love this. It takes it's time establishing things, but when the ball gets rolling it never stops. Ainz doesn't make obvious mistakes, he is extremely pragmatic and there's no hero who's going to stop him. He's literally a lvl 100 videogame character transported into a "real" fantasy world and the way his powers have actual horrific effects on the environment and people is pretty cool.
The world is screwed, and the series really explores the consequences of that and how people react to the inevitable curbstomp when they fight someone who can raise an unlimited supply of undead and unstoppable minions. He's not (entirely) genocidal, he wants a government that unites everybody living under his rule, and he's secretly a nerd but if you fight him your dead. It's great.
