Why is salad so gross?

[IBM Broadway]

Gross lettuce that has a smell you can still smell on bread that once had it, and a mushy yet unpredictably crunchy texture, is the base of your western salad.

On top is the fecal smell of cold chicken or hard boiled eggs. Somehow these smell worse at cold temp.

Then comes either an eggy monstrosity like ranch or mayo based dressing, or vinegar hell that seems to have originated in olive oil land. Balsamic vinegar often has lead, and definitely smells like rotten grapes mixed with that acetic acid. The two on their own don't go together and will stink up the salad.

Then comes the cheese. Salad eaters seem to intentionally go for the stinkiest ones.

And don't get me started on all the foods my country calls salad, like egg salad, tuna salad, etc. Salad must mean any food that stinks when cold and makes me feel like vomiting just thinking about the taste.

 

[IBM Broadway]

yes I have the big a

 

[Fishnumm]

its spelled saylad

its gross because it was invented by retarded cavewomen probably when the cavemen couldnt find mammoths and shit

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

@Mound Dweller sock spotted

 

[Tablet County]

Because you're fat.

 

[Soso]

Learn to eat healthier please.

 

[IBM Broadway]

i'm pretty sure it is sow lid

 

[FlawlessCowboy]

I tend to use spinach or something other than lettuce. I also prefer a vinagerette over a cream based sauce.

 

[peachlover669]

Your fat as a direct result of not eating salads therefore your opinion is null and void, kill yourself.

look at what your missing out on bitch

 

[IBM Broadway]

its spelled saylad

its gross because it was invented by retarded cavewomen probably when the cavemen couldnt find mammoths and shit

i do notice it is a women's stereotype. i think you can do a bechdel test like study about sal's lids

like:

1. A group of friends, family members, colleagues or a straight couple is out to lunch or eating lunch at a table of any kind

2. The TV women have salads on the table

3. The TV men don't.

I always noticed this about jazz and sam on danny phantom! as well as sheldon and amy

 

[IBM Broadway]

Your fat as a direct result of not eating salads therefore your opinion is null and void, kill yourself.
Ver archivo adjunto 7737508
look at what your missing out on bitch

stinky stinky anime girl can't sway me

balsamic vinegar is much worse than ketchup which admittedly took time for me to eat

i have sensory overload

I bet Seth MacFarlane's thing about the fart lunch when Peter transitioned was about salads

 

[PetiteFeet]

Salad is a lot of things. Americans think boiling macaroni and putting lots of mayo on it is a salad.
Learn to cook for yourself, it'll help you learn to eat things you wouldn't eat otherwise.
Things like cabbage is more interesting than your regular iceberg lettuce (which is just bitter water that squeaks on your teeth). You can cook a flanksteak or flap steak, slice it into thin slices and make a steak salad. Figure out what vegetables you enjoy, like a specific type of cucumber or tomato. Add sliced apple or strawberry, they pair well with a lot of different vegetables.
You want to cover several bases to make a salad satisfying - sweet, bitter, salt. A crunchy texture like roughly chopped almonds or another nut you like also heightens the experience.

If your autism prevents you from enjoying specific textures, it's okay to avoid them. As long as you eat a varied diet. You need healthy fats (nuts, fatty fish, avocados for example), you need a wide range of vitamins and minerals which you can get from a lot of different food items. Spinach has a lot of iron, bananas are full of potassium and so on.

 

[MrTroll]

Just eat some salad.

 

[Absolutego]

Just sounds to me like you would probably prefer a chopped vegetable salad instead of a leafy green-based one, light on the dressing. You can still have greens in that if you want the iron and whatnot, but chop them up as well and they'll cling to the vegetable pieces.
Most restaurant/takeout salads are an abomination of soggy greens and too-refrigerated meat and dairy. I really don't understand how the traditional dressed salad ever caught on in western culture, it's a pain in the ass to eat, impractical to prepare (before they started bagging the greens as kits, and that came at a cost of freshness), and generally isn't particularly healthy.
Actually wait, I can hazard a guess as to exactly how it caught on - it's rich in extreme flavors (that you don't like being an autismo) and being a pain to create is a sign of wealth.

 

[analrapist]

Salad's one of my go-tos when I eat out because the portioning is generally saner. So many kitchens try sell you more calories for a meal than you oughtta eat in a day. Love salad, love lettuce, love spinach. My preference is a basic-bitch italian dressing: oil, vinegar, herbs, spices. Add lemon juice and mustard for a "zesty" kick. Edit: Herbs and spices can be as straightforward as a tablespoon from a jar of "Italian seasoning", some salt and pepper, and a dash of honey.

 

[Flabba Wabba Jabba]

Because you're fat.

Have you seen how many calories go into some of those salads? The crumbed chicken, the mounds of feta cheese, the ranch or mayonnaise? Fat people choose salads and then load up on the sauces.

Red meats and cutting out the fucking sugar will do the trick for our big a Autistic friend, OP.

 

[cleanerfromvenus]

you must enjoy airsoft fatty's meat salad

 

[Canoodler]

Just eat the salad, fatass.

 

[Tablet County]

Fat people choose salads and then load up on the sauces.

So OP is fat.

 

[Positron]

It is the vinegar-based dressings that are gross. Try some jap sesame-seed paste dressing.

Balsamic vinegar often has lead, and definitely smells like rotten grapes mixed with that acetic acid.

Agree.