The DarkSyde Sexuality Thread - Explore Phil's sexuality or lack there of.

[Big Brown Schlub]

No porn or any material needed, nothing on his mind

I'm sure he imagined getting a $1000 tip during the inciDent.

 

[Jasper2K]

Anyone remember that stream where the game had sexy woman Phil "oh here we go guys oh cahm on" then shows big sweaty men he cheers "OH YEAH THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!". Might have been wrestling or something it was awhile ago. Phil is very gay.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

I used to think Phil was gay, but moved into the asexual line of thinking. Mostly for the maturity (or complete lack of) other people have mentioned. I do agree he gets overly excited for muscly men in games, especially Champions. But I don't think that's a sexual attraction as much as it is a projection of what Phil wants to be. It's like how he goes full "sir" when he's interacting with popular content creators he's trying to cozy up to. And Phil likes to boast about being in good shape, being able to kick someone's ass, his former bodybuilding days etc. We know he projects himself onto every character he plays, so him picking/getting excited over playing the most beefy character is just part of that projection. So I guess there's technically an attraction, but not the sexual kind.

I think Phil is afraid of sex. He (probably) wasn't always like that, but as he became more of a hermit, he got terrified of any human contact. I think Phil also has rare moments of self-realization when he recognizes he's bad at something. I don't think it's a stretch to say the few times he was with Panda, it was a disappointing experience. And I'm sure he tried to blame outside factors, but even for someone like Phil, it's hard to make excuses for that. So, now he just avoids it. It's like how he doesn't understand PC's at all, so he refuses to engage with them more than necessary. He'll use his PC, but he won't upgrade it, is terrified of resetting it, almost never plays games on it, pretends like he knows what he's doing when he clearly doesn't etc. His relationships follow the same formula, uses them as necessary to seem like an adult, but doesn't actually engage with them more than necessary.

*Quick edit* Oh, and to address the other popular theory that Khet is a ballbuster. I mean, it's not impossible, but I legitimately don't think Khet watches any of Phil's content. There's maybe an argument she'd hear him shouting from his "office" but unless she's also hearing the game, she wouldn't know some fridge robot was flirting with him so there's no reason for him to be over the top. Then again, Phil is an idiot and thought changing the UI to a different language would change what people were typing at him into said language, so he's not exactly known for being intelligent and logical. From what we know, which is admittedly questionable because Phil is the source, Khet can barely comprehend what's going on around her. I wouldn't be surprised if something like Fridge Robot went completely above her head.

 

[Shirō Ishii]

Phil being gay means that Kat is available. You hear that OIC? You still have a chance with Kat!

 

[clothes in my closet]

Something I noticed about the robot sex fridge incident last night. When Phil decides he's finally had enough, he turns off his neckphones so he can't hear the game, then he leans over to his computer and mutes OBS so that we can't hear the game. There's something to be said about Phil's control freak tendencies there. Not only did the people who watched the stream last night miss out on part of that moment from the game, but the people who watch Phil's videos unironically for some reason will miss out on that moment too. DictatorSydePhil.

From what we know about Khet, shes somewhat of a gamer girl. She seems to always be playing something, she watches Lets's Plays and streamers and all that. I would be willing to bet that Khet would have found that robot sex fridge to be pretty funny, if not maybe a little cringy, which makes Phil's freakout even funnier.

To all who say: "This is him LARPing as a mature adult, pretending to be disgusted and above sexual innuendo"

I disagree. Dave isn't this good a LARPer. This reaction feels like genuine embarrassment and being "wigged out". He seems seriously upset, like a child caught by their parents watching porn. As I've said in the other thread, this seems way too close to the reaction of an insecure straight man when confronted with gay stuff.

You make a really good point. I'm normally in the camp of "Phil is just trying to uphold this cringy, married man, chastity belt attitude towards female sexualization in vidya because muh midlife crisis rebrand attempt" or whatever, but you're right, Phil is the worst liar on the fucking planet and his freakout was 100% genuine. It's very sus.

When I think back to Phil's pre-chastity belt days, two moments stand out to me.

The first is this time when Phil was filming the hotel room he and Leanna were staying in, and Leanna is just presenting her ass to Phil as he's recording this video. Phil is rocking back and forth like he's on Noah's fucking arc and filming Leanna's ass, but somehow isn't aware of it? This reeks of autism to me, the swaying back and forth and inability to pick up on obvious bodily clues like Leanna presenting herself. At no point does Phil think "Maybe I shouldn't film my *barely* 18 yr old girlfriend's pussy from the back and upload it to Youtube for the world to see." It's as if he doesn't understand the very sexual *hint hint, wink wink* that's staring him in the face.

( this clip has been edited, I wasn't able to find the original so it's all I got )

EDIT: Thanks to @Derich 2nd of coomland for finding the original upload

And the other is when he and Leanna were looking at the Porno movies in some other hotel video.

When we talk about Phil being gay, this is sometimes used as an example of evidence to the contrary. However, after seeing this sex fridge freakout, I'm leaning more towards the possibility that @Burl McMillan brought up in the main thread, that this over sexualization thing Phil used to do could have just been part of the "shock jock" shtick, and not actually Phil's real honest commentary.

In these videos ^ all they do is look at the titles of these porn movies on the hotel skinemax or whatever it is, and briefly comment on it. Leanna actually has more to say on most of them than Phil does. Phil has a good chuckle about the gay porn movies of course ... but otherwise, all Phil has to say is "I've seen her, I haven't seen her, her fake tits don't look good". Now that I've seen these videos Phil uploaded, it really does seem more like a desperate attempt at hitting the algorithm rather than the perversions of a regular guy.

Phil is asexual/autism.

 

[Derich 2nd of coomland]

We know he projects himself onto every character he plays, so him picking/getting excited over playing the most beefy character is just part of that projection. So I guess there's technically an attraction, but not the sexual kind.

His need to make every character look like himself (well how he sees himself anyway) could be written off as his narcissism.

I get what you are saying and you could be spot on. It's just to me the way he acts in these situation, and especially towards situations with those dreamy beefy NPCs goes a bit beyond projecting. He might not even be aware/understand his attraction (hence asexual gayboi), he does have the emotional maturity of a 12 year old.

EDIT:
And as @clothes in my closet said above. Autism.
EDIT 2: @clothes in my closet here is the original "presenting" VOD style video

 

[Mighty Pigmask]

As someone once said "he might not be gay but he sure is a faggot"

 

[grump]

I think maybe the talking robot that wont shut up about sex from Atomic Heart is objectively cringy as fuck and his reaction is justified.

Yeah maybe he just thinks sexual content is cringe but then again he is whole hog into gay scenes, has started picking gay paths and options whenever he can and just the other day said he couldn't get enough of it and wants more more MORE.

 

[Jasper2K]

Something I noticed about the robot sex fridge incident last night. When Phil decides he's finally had enough, he turns off his neckphones so he can't hear the game, then he leans over to his computer and mutes OBS so that we can't hear the game. There's something to be said about Phil's control freak tendencies there. Not only did the people who watched the stream last night miss out on part of that moment from the game, but the people who watch Phil's videos unironically for some reason will miss out on that moment too. DictatorSydePhil.

From what we know about Khet, shes somewhat of a gamer girl. She seems to always be playing something, she watches Lets's Plays and streamers and all that. I would be willing to bet that Khet would have found that robot sex fridge to be pretty funny, if not maybe a little cringy, which makes Phil's freakout even funnier.



You make a really good point. I'm normally in the camp of "Phil is just trying to uphold this cringy, married man, chastity belt attitude towards female sexualization in vidya because muh midlife crisis rebrand attempt" or whatever, but you're right, Phil is the worst liar on the fucking planet and his freakout was 100% genuine. It's very sus.

When I think back to Phil's pre-chastity belt days, two moments stand out to me.

The first is this time when Phil was filming the hotel room he and Leanna were staying in, and Leanna is just presenting her ass to Phil as he's recording this video. Phil is rocking back and forth like he's on Noah's fucking arc and filming Leanna's ass, but somehow isn't aware of it? This reeks of autism to me, the swaying back and forth and inability to pick up on obvious bodily clues like Leanna presenting herself. At no point does Phil think "Maybe I shouldn't film my *barely* 18 yr old girlfriend's pussy from the back and upload it to Youtube for the world to see." It's as if he doesn't understand the very sexual *hint hint, wink wink* that's staring him in the face.

( this clip has been edited, I wasn't able to find the original so it's all I got )
panda reeeee.mp4

And the other is when he and Leanna were looking at the Porno movies in some other hotel video.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=RzHoLXkee3M:1
https://youtube.com/watch?v=VvZlKhnAeX4:3
When we talk about Phil being gay, this is sometimes used as an example of evidence to the contrary. However, after seeing this sex fridge freakout, I'm leaning more towards the possibility that @Burl McMillan brought up in the main thread, that this over sexualization thing Phil used to do could have just been part of the "shock jock" shtick, and not actually Phil's real honest commentary.

In these videos ^ all they do is look at the titles of these porn movies on the hotel skinemax or whatever it is, and briefly comment on it. Leanna actually has more to say on most of them than Phil does. Phil has a good chuckle about the gay porn movies of course ... but otherwise, all Phil has to say is "I've seen her, I haven't seen her, her fake tits don't look good". Now that I've seen these videos Phil uploaded, it really does seem more like a desperate attempt at hitting the algorithm rather than the perversions of a regular guy.

Phil is asexual/autism.

Panda lee is literally sending Phil an invitation to fuck or at the very least slap her ass. If a woman does that with her boyfriend around she wants to fuck! 9/10. Phil your a faggot. He was more into John Rambos feet than Pandas ass.

 

[Agent Proper]

Phil is a faggot.

I figure he is just asexual and sexuality makes him feel awkward, causing him to either blow it way the fuck outta proportion (mostly gay stuff), or he fully shys away from it like a shy Midwest teen girl.

What I am fascinated by is his turn from over sexual robust comments, and actions in the old days to this this bitch made averting of the eyes. I honestly believe that Phil is far too lazy to lift the FUPA and slide it in, that his reactions to sex is dude to his wife's disinterest in anything that isn't food related. Sex is probably like a chore to the Burnell's. The guy was arguing with trolls on Twitter on his wedding night, rather than smashing that pussy. Khet's weight gain is most likely related to finally letting go of any idea of sex, or having kids.

 

[RaidenAUndertale]

I don't care about the fridge robot being objectively cringe (I am indifferent towards it myself) but Phil's reaction is very telling. Also, on the topic of Phil's gayness I feel like this clip is a must have: https://youtu.be/jEdtbLfILgo

 

[clothes in my closet]

Anyone remember that stream where the game had sexy woman Phil "oh here we go guys oh cahm on" then shows big sweaty men he cheers "OH YEAH THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!". Might have been wrestling or something it was awhile ago. Phil is very gay.

This may not be the exact moment you were thinking of, but its the one that came to my mind.

He's playing WWE 2K22, and he gets annoyed at the sexy lady on screen and skips the intro

( 18:12 )

 

[Corpun]

The first is this time when Phil was filming the hotel room he and Leanna were staying in, and Leanna is just presenting her ass to Phil as he's recording this video. Phil is rocking back and forth like he's on Noah's fucking arc and filming Leanna's ass, but somehow isn't aware of it? This reeks of autism to me, the swaying back and forth and inability to pick up on obvious bodily clues like Leanna presenting herself. At no point does Phil think "Maybe I shouldn't film my *barely* 18 yr old girlfriend's pussy from the back and upload it to Youtube for the world to see." It's as if he doesn't understand the very sexual *hint hint, wink wink* that's staring him in the face.

( this clip has been edited, I wasn't able to find the original so it's all I got )

There are countless occasions where Panda was presenting herself in some way for Phil. You could sift through all his vlogging content she's in and usually, you'll find a moment where she bends over or leans in to show cleavage and clearly wants Phil to at least give her a comment. The Panda nympho meme comes from these moments and the fact Phil almost 100% of the time would completely skip over her and go back to filming food or pigsplaining shit does show his ineptitude when it comes to sexual advances. I absolutely believe the claims that Phil was a virgin until he got Leanna to move in with him and that even back then he had some form of ED, it's just gotten way worse and I doubt he ever fucked Fat Khet.

 

[Poo Twister]

I don't think Phil is gay. If he was he wouldn't be able to hide it. He has some quite effeminate mannerisms and the faggy valley girl cadence that we usually get, but I put that down to him getting his education from TV. I honestly think that he's gone so long without poon he's just programmed his mind to be asexual. Think of it as a self defence mechanism, he's deeply insecure because his naked, jizz filled condom looking body triggers Khet's fight or flight instincts.

Phil is an incel.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

Honestly, he’s aging bad and I’m sure he has ED now. At least Kate gets it every night from Tyrone. Someone needs enjoyment in that marriage.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Phil is a faggot.

I figure he is just asexual and sexuality makes him feel awkward, causing him to either blow it way the fuck outta proportion (mostly gay stuff), or he fully shys away from it like a shy Midwest teen girl.

What I am fascinated by is his turn from over sexual robust comments, and actions in the old days to this this bitch made averting of the eyes. I honestly believe that Phil is far too lazy to lift the FUPA and slide it in, that his reactions to sex is dude to his wife's disinterest in anything that isn't food related. Sex is probably like a chore to the Burnell's. The guy was arguing with trolls on Twitter on his wedding night, rather than smashing that pussy. Khet's weight gain is most likely related to finally letting go of any idea of sex, or having kids.

Yeah, but that's just it. He did always blow it way out of proportion, it always had to be made into a circus act so it was clear "Hey guys isn't this romance and sex thing absurd! I'm a horny bro! Haha titties!". He never, at any point, engaged with intimacy in any kind of balanced way, publicly or personally.

And we can see that play out in the few relationships he did have, which only existed because he was going through the motions.
He didn't want to look silly or be a reject by being single, but he's also not emotionally equipped for intimacy, so we get sexless roommate situations like Panda or Kat.

He'll go jerk off to porn, but he's too uncomfortable to actually go fuck a real woman who he has to be alone in a room with.

It's specifically because he's not asexual that he reacts so viscerally to it, because on one hand he has natural male impulses, but on the other he's a neurotic insecure weirdo who's (publicly) afraid he's going to look like a fool or (privately) afraid he's going to be "betrayed" because he deep down feels like he's a tard that nobody could ever really like. That conflict leads to the volatile behavior.

How did he wind up that way? It probably started with his parents themselves being uptight or having attachment issues, and then was exacerbated by him being kind of a dweeb growing up.

Idk if this behavior is just more common among a certain segment of neurotic middle class white people, but to me none of it ever seemed that bizarre or unusual.

 

[Agent Proper]

.How did he wind up that way? It probably started with his parents themselves being uptight or having attachment issues, and then was exacerbated by him being kind of a dweeb growing up.

Phil was cottled by his Mom she brushed his hair until he was like 16 years old. I am she was covering his eyes during nude scenes while watching a rented movie. The lore I subscribe to is the household of a young Pig Roach was in a bit of a relationship issue, rumors of an affair, his cousin moving in, Linda spending David's cash on QVC and trips with Phil to the mall. Physical affection was most likely avoided, or nonexistent.

 

[niggaphil]

Guys, you all should have known by now, Phil only get hard and sexual to the money he earned from superchats and memberships only. So I wont be surprised he use the banknote to stroke his cock.

 

[Judas Connor Moon]

The man who talks about assholes, shit and more than likely gambles his life away for wrestling gacha. It's always the ones you least expect.

 

[Cats]

I will never understand how anybody can watch the complete dogshit content that this Crisco Manbaby makes and feel legitimately entertained