Star Trek - Space: The Final Frontier

[XYZpdq Jr.]

Monday Night RAW.

lol voy wished it was raw, shit's more like impact

 

[Post Reply]

I contend that the Voyager finale is an ugly clusterfuck of bad writing around time travel and other bullshit centered around Janeway being more right than the rest of the universe, even Janeway
as such it is a perfect finale to Voyager

Come to think of it... doesn't the Atlantis finale have almost exactly the same flaws, minus Janeway and time travel?

 

[Captain Syrup]

Are they now? Didn't they establish they're underground and have supplies for only 5 years? Wouldn't that imply they gonna die horribly in their underground bunkers?

The Ocampa have five years of surplus energy before they have to go back up to the surface of their desert shithole and die.

Janeway stops the Kazon from stealing all their water...and then she just leaves.



Kes gave a big earnest speech about "seeing the sunlight" and I think I'm supposed to infer the Caretaker was stunting their whole development. So now that he's dead they can just... go to the stars? He was kidnapping starships with his bullshit machine. They can just hop on one of those and leave, I suppose. The ending just glosses over that.



Five years is a long time though. In TV time that's like five seasons. That's the problem! The stakes were already low and then they add five years of buffer.

If you check Memory Alpha the writers straight up admitted it doesn't make sense. They just had Janeway destroy the array without consulting the Ocampa at all. In hindsight she probably could've taken at least a couple more of them on the ship.

 

[Mussolini’s Merkin]

There is a reason SF Debris was able to make Janeway is a psycho a running gag in his reviews.

Wait! Wait, wait, wait! I get to drag this out again. (10000 hours in photoshop)

 

[Mr. Racewar1488]

Come to think of it... doesn't the Atlantis finale have almost exactly the same flaws, minus Janeway and time travel?

The Atlantis finale feels rushed and thrown together.

Star Trek: SG1 Season 3 Episode 12 "CQckblock": Q sends Vash back in time to stop Col. Carter from hooking up with Asst. Director Skinner. Teal'Q and Worf hold an arm wrestling competition in 10 Forward. Daniel Jackson won't shut up about his Goa'uld wife.

Star Trek post MGM-Fox-Disney merger went even further off the rails than before.

 

[Miller]

Come to think of it... doesn't the Atlantis finale have almost exactly the same flaws, minus Janeway and time travel?

The wormhole drive... that shit was so fucking dumb.

 

[Captain Syrup]

The Atlantis finale feels rushed and thrown together.

Star Trek: SG1 Season 3 Episode 12 "CQckblock": Q sends Vash back in time to stop Col. Carter from hooking up with Asst. Director Skinner. Teal'Q and Worf hold an arm wrestling competition in 10 Forward. Daniel Jackson won't shut up about his Goa'uld wife.
Ver archivo adjunto 9163742Ver archivo adjunto 9163745
Star Trek post MGM-Fox-Disney merger went even further off the rails than before.

Enterprise Season 8, "Ancestor Protocol." Ro Laren's hippie grandmother becomes the activities director for a swinger's club in space called the Bon Temps. Every Thursday night she’s on the bridge with a clipboard and a strap-on. She’s got the bull helmet sometimes. Tonight’s mixer is ‘Bajoran Resistance vs. Cardassian Occupiers.’ "If you’re playing a Cardassian you’re getting pegged."

The whole NX-01 crew blacks out and starts railing each other in orgies. Phlox is down in Sickbay doing autopsies with one hand. All these dudes who died from Ro-induced heart attacks and dick explosions! Reed appears to have an Andorian antenna inserted up his urethra, note the frozen smile. We’re still trying to determine if he died or is just very, very happy.

"Captain Archer, it appears their libidos were amplified to the point of total systemic failure." "On my homeworld we have a similar condition… we call it ‘a happy ending.’”

The whole thing gets classified by Section 31 and buried in a vault next to the “Threshold” lizard baby footage.

 

[Flexo]

It would’ve been better if they just made the Array some crazy, rogue AI that went berserk. You could still have the Caretaker be a hologram, like a Clippy that went insane and started kidnapping starships.

Like some kind of... digital circus? That sounds amazing!

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

Like some kind of... digital circus? That sounds amazing!

DAX
ABSTRACTS

 

[Ultraman Orb Dark]

Wait until you see the series finale...

In the flash forward have it be that the Borg have completely conquered the Federation and Janeway's mission is to stop that and getting Voyager home is just a side effect. That way she isn't screwing with the timeline just to save a couple of people she likes and getting a bunch of other people killed just for that.

Or just redo what "Timeless" did and make Admiral Janeway one of the few people who survived the trip home.

"Caretaker" is an incomprehensible disaster.



It turns out the Caretaker is fucking moron who doesn't know how to parallel park, so his shitty engines accidentally destroyed the ozone layer. He feels bad, so he decides he has to play landlord to the Ocampa people. Please, somebody have sex with them so he can have an heir who can run this thing.

He’s kidnapping ships from across space trying to find someone to knock up so he can retire.

There's this one Voyager rewrite fanfic I read that switches up the characters who died at the beginning. In the rewrite of "Caretaker", Commander Cavit is trying not to throttle the Caretaker once he learns how stupid his plan is.

It would’ve been better if they just made the Array some crazy, rogue AI that went berserk. You could still have the Caretaker be a hologram, like a Clippy that went insane and started kidnapping starships.

"It looks like you are trying to get back to the Alpha Quadrant. Would you like some help?"

The Kazon have an interesting idea behind them. A race divided up into several factions who are all fighting for territory and don't care who gets caught in the crossfire.

They're just too mind-numbingly stupid to take seriously as an actual threat.

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

The Kazon have an interesting idea behind them. A race divided up into several factions who are all fighting for territory and don't care who gets caught in the crossfire.

They're just too mind-numbingly stupid to take seriously as an actual threat.

Since the Kazon are supposed to be based on niggers LA gangs, seriously broaching that topic is pretty hard for the anti-racism show. Be too accurate on characterization (like The Boondocks) and people notice just how contemptible and off-putting gang members are. Be too inaccurate and we get the Kazon as we know them.

 

[Curzon Dax-sama]

Five years is a long time though

If you as a civilization are told by basically Godby some random asshole (who isn't Janeway for a change) that "you'll die in 5 years of thirst and farding and shidding, lmao", your society will largely collapse by tomorrow. I'm pretty sure Janeway has a secret encrypted holoprogram simulating the end of the Ocampa civilization, with the civil wars being fought over water. I can easily imagine her wandering through the devastated bunkers, sipping her coffee and cackling like the Emperor.

 

[Flexo]

If you as a civilization are told by basically Godby some random asshole (who isn't Janeway for a change) that "you'll die in 5 years of thirst and farding and shidding, lmao", your society will largely collapse by tomorrow. I'm pretty sure Janeway has a secret encrypted holoprogram simulating the end of the Ocampa civilization, with the civil wars being fought over water. I can easily imagine her wandering through the devastated bunkers, sipping her coffee and cackling like the Emperor.

Sfdebris had a good idea that "fury" should have revealed that Kes, clued the Borg in on the ocampa existence and they suffered a fate worse than extinction. And that is what drove her to go insane and try to change history to undo that.

 

[Captain Syrup]

If you as a civilization are told by basically Godby some random asshole (who isn't Janeway for a change) that "you'll die in 5 years of thirst and farding and shidding, lmao", your society will largely collapse by tomorrow.

I want to get off Captain Janeway's Wild Ride.



It'll cause mass chaos, but every other captain in Star Trek just rolls up and goes “the sun’s gonna explode by lunchtime, pack your shit and get beamed up."




Worf was literally about to kick the Maquis off their own planet until Wesley started crying about ethics.



But...Janeway’s sitting there with no backup, no fleet. So she is like “yeah we’re dipping, you’ll be fine once the water wars start.” Leaving them with nothing but vibes and a prayer.

Which only makes sense if the Federation was already on the way with the cavalry, but no, it’s just her making these big speeches and then bouncing like Doctor Who.

 

[Curzon Dax-sama]

I want to get off Captain Janeway's Wild Ride.

"Congratulations, you won another round of Captain Janeway's Wild Ride!"

It'll cause mass chaos, but every other captain in Star Trek just rolls up and goes “the sun’s gonna explode by lunchtime, pack your shit and get beamed up."

Data in that particular episode: was acting on orders to keep the colonists from being turned into alien asphalt or liquid coolant for an alien corporate entity (the Federation probably could and should wipe out but won't because politicians are malicious retards and will never do what makes the most sense).
Kira in that particular episode: Oh look, it's Bajoran shenanigans, part 91414848. The message here is "listen, the government will throw you off your land if there's even a slight non-zero chance there's valuable resources underneath, and they will use law enforcement/soldiers from a different part of the country or even mercenaries since those guys have zero personal or emotional attachments to your environment", which is far deeper than your average Bajoran shenanigan-episode. Kira did nothing wrong, but neither did the old man - blowing open a moon to heat homes during the winter is just fucking awesome.
Worf in that particular episode: was acting on orders from the Federation Council which, like literally all political institutions, is full of mouthbreathing commie retards that will sell your home to space Nazis or evil corporation that will both turn you and your family into asphalt or liquid coolant. See the other two episodes.

Janeway is much worse than a Federation politician. She will actually turn you and your family into asphalt or liquid coolant herself. Why? Because she can and space Nazis, corporate overlords and cybernetic horrors ain't have shit on her. That's not allowed!

 

[Ultraman Orb Dark]

Since the Kazon are supposed to be based on niggers LA gangs, seriously broaching that topic is pretty hard for the anti-racism show. Be too accurate on characterization (like The Boondocks) and people notice just how contemptible and off-putting gang members are. Be too inaccurate and we get the Kazon as we know them.

Just imagine Paris trying to compare the Kazon to gang wars in the 1990s, only to get the stink eye from Tuvok.

 

[Captain Syrup]

Just imagine Paris trying to compare the Kazon to gang wars in the 1990s, only to get the stink eye from Tuvok.

Tom has to weigh in on this? "Captain, these guys are just like the cats from the old neighborhood. I speak their language. Let me handle the parley:

Lay off the dames, you mugs! You want a rumble, we’ll give you one, but let’s keep it clean, no blades below the belt, dig?”

 

[BubbaRobot887]

Ver archivo adjunto 9167435

Tom has to weigh in on this? "Captain, these guys are just like the cats from the old neighborhood. I speak their language. Let me handle the parley:

Lay off the dames, you mugs! You want a rumble, we’ll give you one, but let’s keep it clean, no blades below the belt, dig?”

"It's okay Captain, I speak Jive".

 

[Midwit]

the DS9 technical manual

I refuse to believe that the Defiant weighs more than 5 Yamatos, or that a Hideki is of a comparable weight to an oil tanker.

 

[Mussolini’s Merkin]

I refuse to believe that the Defiant weighs more than 5 Yamatos, or that a Hideki is of a comparable weight to an oil tanker.

Wait, really? I always assumed that Defiant was more in the weight range of a Fletcher or Tribal class.