DSP's Thanksgiving Day Victimhood 2018 - A Holiday tradition

[Alxmir23]

to the max: did Phil list any changes at all that he was planning on making to try and increase how much he's able to save between now and tax deadline? Or was it literally just "give me money" or I'll have to get a loan / refinance (LOL, bank ain't doin' that) / SELL DUH CAHNDO?

well he said he didnt do anything wrong,so what would he need to change. all he said that needed to be done is get 16k bonus money. thats money not counting the money he will spend on bills

 

[Fuckyoudad]

Edit: fuck me he just said ‘I’d like to meet my parents again, even if it’s for the last time.’

I missed this somehow. His Dad hasn't even retired yet and he's already seeing them pass out of existence.

 

[Alxmir23]

I missed this somehow. His Dad hasn't even retired yet and he's already seeing them pass out of existence.

because phil thinks that because he is old that his parents must be extremely old to the point of death.
they are probably like 65. thats nothing

 

[I'mPushingButtons]

What happened to the 2017 tax money

is Phil going to the pen for tax evasion

 

[Xenomorph]

He wants 16K to fix up the house to sell it off. He has a broken HVAC unit and who knows what else is fucked up in there like his mold issue in his bedroom closet.

 

[Commander Keen]

He wants 16K to fix up the house to sell it off. He has a broken HVAC unit and who knows what else is fucked up in there like his mold issue in his bedroom closet.

I like how the moron bought a place with water damage. I was arguing with some jackass about housing costs and he pulled up some HAR listings to prove me wrong and they were all flood damaged houses priced to move because the owners refuse to live in a house with water damage. That shit will fucking kill you.

Make fun of hurricane harvey victims some more, Phil, while you breathe in that sweet, musty mold. That’s what’s been making your back better. The spores in the air you’re breathing every single day.

Probably why his snorting has gotten so much worse. He probably does have a serious mold/mildew problem.

 

[Sparkletor]

The detractors ruined his life. He's financially ruined because of trolls. It had nothing to do with him not having a job for almost a decade.

DSP has been criticized for not having a real job and for spending his money frivolously since he lost his helicopter job. He could have gotten a job and still made YouTube videos. He could have saved his money instead of buying expensive toys and surf and turf dinners.

This is nobody's fault but his own. People tried to tell him it wouldn't last but he refused to listen.

He is so poor right now he can barely afford bottled water, energy drinks, alcohol, new clothes, holiday decorations, two internet lines, and multiple paid video services.

 

[Filthy Greenskin]

I like how he said that Tut ruined things by donating a fat wad of cash. That's a few serious mental backflips to justify how it's not his fault he pissed away a massive windfall.

 

[Pointandlaugh]

I just can’t believe what I’ve heard. He actually doubled down. He ACTUALLY did it. AND he trashed Curse! And the detractors! He saved time and just mixed 3 older begathons and condensed them.

We still have the Christmas begathon yet to come!!!

 

[George Beorge]

I'm not gonna say that detractors didn't contribute to his financial troubles, because they absolutely did, but if he hadn't been so retarded with the money he did make, it probably wouldn't even matter.

 

[Raven'sChild]

Claims he has more followers. First lie of the stream, folks!

Followed by the second lie that he listened to viewers and made his videos longer. No Dave, you only did that because your channel got demonetised, and when you noticed it increased engagement like poor Nich was telling you it would for years, you kept on.

D$P started posting longer vids because he was posting them to KOGaming when his DSPGaming channel had lost monetization and said that he 'didn't want to spam those folks with 30+ vids daily'. It had nothing to do with the suggestions his fans ( and Nich ) had been saying for years. It was pure laziness. In truth, knowing that channel did not get a quarter of the traffic DSPgaming gets it was easier to upload his streams in a large chunk. After noticing viewer retention to have taken an upward trend, he continued to upload longer vids to the now re-monetized DSPgaming ( though gradually reduced hour or so parts for more vids/day ).

Kat wants a Cat. Quality time spent together is going to the garbage dump. Eating out twice in a day together. It's absolutely amazing and sucks we can't do this more often and waste more money on fine dining together!

D$P, the day before eating an expensive, store bought, pre-made Thanksgiving dinner admits to eating out TWICE and going shopping moments before declaring he has no money to pay his taxes...and needs $16K in addition to his regular haul to keep his head above water.
Here's an idea, STOP going out to eat 4+ times a month and impulse buying T-shirts!!!!!!111one

This is what DSP expects us to believe they said.

"Phil, we love you. You're a provocateur who's been around for 10 years. You're a great Youtuber with an amazing legacy and you've never done anything wrong in your life. Your content is masterful and we love working with you. You are incredible. We know you have trolls surrounding you, negative idiots who hate you, but we know you haven't done anything wrong in your life. However because we have to manually deal with these false reports we're firing you"

THIS needs to be investigated. For one thing, I find it patently absurd that ANY company would hold unwritten, verbal only 'backdoor dealings' like the ones he is claiming Curse has done. This screams ready made Lawsuit. Curse is a Huge MCN. They were known to have taken anyone and everyone. The number of YT reports/claims they would have received hourly would make DSP's a mere drop in the bucket to them.

He has not a single dollar for federal taxes because of all the things which happened, and nothing of that was his fault of course. He made amazing life decisions.
That's the problem.

Whoever voted for taxes, congratulations.

I want to know what the consequences will be if he won't get his shekels.

He has already lain the groundwork for his fail safe: his re-fi will miraculously be approved. Though I am willing to bet it will never be mentioned one way or the other. This is the teaser trailer for the big Christmas Sweeps Push.

if they die,how the hell is he 1.gonna pay for the funeral cost 2.travel to wherever they are to attend said funeral. unless they die together,thats 2 funerals

His parents, unlike our boy, seem like regular folks who know how to manage money. I am sure his father has Life insurance or has recently purchased some seeing as even though Dave ( Phil's dad ) is still gainfully employed is apparently on death's door and pleading with his son to visit his deathbed.

to the max: did Phil list any changes at all that he was planning on making to try and increase how much he's able to save between now and tax deadline? Or was it literally just "give me money" or I'll have to get a loan / refinance (LOL, bank ain't doin' that) / SELL DUH CAHNDO?

Khet is going to have to pony up ( pun intended ) more of her paycheck. Also, the ConnDough is off limits as it does not have enough equity accrued to make selling it a big enough windfall according to D$P. It is the WaKhando that has the equity, but unfortunately it will cost tooooo much money to sand and paint the drywall in his 'office' after removing the soundproofing foam to make this a viable option. If, he has after all these years failed to address the leak in his roof, however as he suggests, I think our boy has bigger fish to fry and a roofing job might just be what he's actually being to be paid with part of that $16k. As a middle unit, the HOA may have been pressing him to have that shit fixed already or GTFO!!!!!!111one

 

[thebonesauce]

I like how he said that Tut ruined things by donating a fat wad of cash. That's a few serious mental backflips to justify how it's not his fault he pissed away a massive windfall.

This entire saga is about Phil pissing away windfall after windfall. He has always and might always bounce back in time. Somehow.

 

[Sparkletor]

The roof on the Washington house got fixed long ago. You hear him bitching about the roofers in his green screen garage video.

 

[Haunter]

Some stuff to add:

Spoiler: Stuff

Claims that increased numbers, such as Twitch Follower numbers, proves he's on an upward financial trend. In regards to his Followers, the reason for his huge Follower count is because his chat is kept in Follower Only Mode. Each time a "Detractor" is banned, a new account has to be made and follow Phil to again speak in Phil's chat.

Likened this new Reveal to last year's Reveal "in the early Fall", clearly unaware that it was also on Thanksgiving.

Has worked to keep Kat's private life private: "I do think that has worked." The Halloween blow-up she had at him for the "movies about demon possession" question wasn't even a month ago.

Last year's taxes amounted to $5,000, with another $5,000 for his "Tax Attorney". A little after this, the number becomes "10,000+".

"Contributions" over the year has been "upward". Phil needs to "keep it at the way it's going", essentially relying on his income being as good as his peak during the summer.

"Nothing negative happened" with tutankhamunnn (remember tut was timed out for criticizing Phil's continued pan-handling). Says several times that tut is a "pathological liar".

Uses of "Loans" continues even without the pretense of the old "Business Loans".

Needs two years of income history to refinance his house. Until then, he has to "tough it out" and "stay the course".

Kat "stepped up" to "contribute". Some nice use of his stream talk here to outright refer to money.

Can't move back to Connecticut because of the expense of the move.

"I'm not the kind of person to point fingers": immediately blames the trolls and Youtube.

He didn't actually cry, but his voice did waver several timers. At one point he rested his head on his hand as he silently gazed at chat, a la WingsOfRemption.

 

[Monday Michiru]

I spilled my seed in the ATK thread because I jumped there from Recent Posts on the homepage. Didn't know there was a separate pity party thread. Oops.

Spoiler: My glowing hot takes

We've got a stress ball in hand, ladies and gentlemen. ZERO dollars saved towards the upcoming tax payment. Currently listing his options. #1, take out yet another loan. #2, refinance the gout mansion...

Option #3 is to sell the house and everything in it. It's ridiculous to ask him to get a job. Dave's WHOLE DAY is in the Let's Play business. And he can't be doing two jobs at his age. Dave speculates that he needs sixteen thousand extra dollars between now and Tax Day 2019. (That's $16K on top of his usual income...)

The lack of money has put his relationship with Kat "on hold." Dangling the engagement/marriage carrot. Mama and Papa Darksyde are aging and Dave suspects they nobly won't tell him the full extent of their health decline. Worries he may only get to see them one more time, but has curiously refused their offer to pay for plane tickets.

He really did deliver with a new low. Bravo.

I spoke too soon. This is unprecedented emo. Voice breaking. He's actually pretending to tear up. Not just flirting with it like before. Blaming Tevin and waves of trolls on the way down. Sowing fears of repo men. You're gonna tear Kat, his soulmate, his "beautiful woman" away from him. "Were your jollies really worth it?"

The Hardcore Crying Season has begun.

 

[Raven'sChild]

Onionboy should have cut an onion during that last break and had it on his 'cam table' so when he leaned in he might actually have generated some tears. This is what oft happens when untrained folks rehearse an emotional plea one to many times beforehand. He should call up Sally Struthers for some coaching.

 

[JamFlowMan]

So what I gather from catching up is Phil owes 16 k in taxes in 6 months but will just spend any donation money and put the bill on credit cards thus solving nothing. He's going to do nothing wrong, he's going to do everything correct.

 

[Adamska]

Darn it, we need a stream snipe. I don't want to give this guy the views...

Then don't. I never watch the Pigroach in its natural begging environment because it's better to wait here and get the news than to listen to his doughy ass weeble around the main points while trying to both beg for money, vent his ass ache over people calling him what he is (a cowardly cunt of a manchild), and scream he's a big boy with a big responsibility and a big house who's successful. Plus I get to avoid giving Dave any form of metric like views and never have to worry about getting gift subbed by a member of the Pigcult too.

Case in point I learned that his big problem is just a spin off of the old muh taxes and muh debt just by looking at the main thread. Whoopee, that was to be expected since Phil is such a slug that he knowingly abuses holiday charity to get out of fucking budgeting anything. Plus in this one I learned that Phil is so desperate to pretend to have someone to talk to that he reused his old stories from previous Ask the Pig episodes to masturbate himself and remember when his life wasn't misery.

It's literally that easy.

 

[Destro1986]

He's mostly in this position because for some crazy reason our business degree graduate thinks taxes are the lowest on the payment priority.

He really does act like a boomer; he's paying off credit cards monthly to make room on those cards to pay his bills. Instead of just paying the bills and either defaulting on the cards of just making minimum payments if he can afford it after expenses.

 

[Fuckyoudad]

I'll save my long sobering rant for another time. I'll just remind everyone that thinks this is the end of Phil: he has Pigroachian blood in his veins and he'd probably survive an atomic bomb to beg another day.