The way he does the pack openings is heinous for it being the main content now, he holds it up to the camera and it refocuses every time, why not have one set up in a good spot so it doesn't re focus every single time.
Deep in the recesses of his rotting center-condo, Phillip Burnell rouses from his post-stream gin reverie. A long-time denizen of the Snortex, he has become attuned to its every ebb and flow, as if the consciousness of thousands of trowles and duhtractors flowed through his synapses. If he knew the reference, he might make an allusion to the famous 1999 movie
The Matrix, which despite having never seen, Phil would tell people that he was in theaters for the midnight premiere.
In his alcoholic stupor, it was as if a firework had gone off in his brain: A detractor had an idea that would
SAVE THE BUSINESS. Phillip being the proud owner of a business degree knew that this phrase held much weight. This could be it. This could be the idea that would blast him back into relevance once more. He just had to focus. Phil moved to attempt a more seated-style position on his hallway ottoman, only to hear a sound that was like the ATM machine during a withdrawal: The crinkling sound of trading card wrappers.
His movement was instantaneous - The idea was out of sight as the pigroach clumsily groped in the dark. He couldn't believe it! He thought he had opened all of the latest day-off packs already! Truly, his luck was finally turning-!
No. Just another empty wrapper. Phil let out an exasperated sigh. It was so stupid, the Pokemon cards should just appear when their king needs a fix but no, the world was an unjust place, where daggers and recording devices hid in every shadow to trace his every move. He'll just have to order more tomorrow before he goes on stream. Now, what was that thing that had driven him from his alcoholic stupor featuring Andy Warski and Dalaun Sparrow? Oh, right. the idea that would
SAVE THE BUSINESS. Surely it was a winner he could use to pull the detractors in with. It came to him again as he focused:
"
why not have one set up in a good spot so it doesn't re focus every single time."
Perfect. A card-display camera. It was so simple. It was so obvious! How had he not thought of it before!? All Phil would have to do is fleece his viewers for yet ANOTHER piece of cutting-edge technology he could plug into the rat's nest that was his office's electrical outlet, pointed at a deliberate spot he could display the newest, greatest card to unpack. All he needed to do was ask for a humble contribution of five hundred dollars, and he'd be able to purchase a camera that could do just that in glorious high fidelity. It was a fantastic premise. It was perfect. It would
SAVE THE BUSINESS. And anyone who thought otherwise was a trollish detractor. He would place the order the moment he woke up tomorrow at 11:15 AM sharp...ish. For now, it would suffice to waddle onwards down that perilous, mildew-smelling hall, past his
momwife's room to his own private bedroom, and to relax in the quiet contemplation that he, DarkSydePhil, the most hated man on the internet, had finally won.