Surgery 12/19- Phil pretends he just had surgery

[Andy27]

So, bets on Phil's reaction when he realizes that nobody gives a shit and he's not getting some kind of private army to entertain his delusions?

Fake suicide attempt: 1.02 to 1
Fake assault story: 1.05 to 1
Fake MRA / Kiwi / Gamergate drive-by: 1.10 to 1
Realize he has been a complete douchebag, accept he is a white cis gay guy and make amends: 100 000 to 1

 

[Jaimas]

A person named "Maxie Beedee" is the first to like this status.

Here is the person in question:

Ver archivo adjunto 64028

Why are there balloons full of blood.

Kiwis, I think Phil is friends with a serial killer.

 

[Mecha-Lenin]

Why lie Phil? You know just as well as we do that we are the only people who ever pay attention to you, and you know as well as we do that we will not take your bullshitting as fact.

I suspect that this is part of his continuing slide into permanently residing in his "happy place". He has been posting more and more about "matters of state" after all.

Eventually, I would not be surprised if Phil constructs his facebook page into a play-place for himself, regardless of what other people might see. The delusion will be more comfortable than reality... and easier than actually changing.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

1:1 odds that Phil is currently crying under his bridge, eating a whole block of cheese because all of his asspatters have abandoned him.

 

[autisticdragonkin]

I am going to be optimistic and say that Phil really did get his balls chopped off and already has a flesh eating infection in his crotch

 

[melty]

Has Phil ever figured out that the only kiwifarmer to "stalk" him IRL without knowing him beforehand was female?
Or does he just not care?

 

[Dain Bramage]

He's still nuts. He still has his nuts.

 

[Erubetie]

He's still nuts. He still has his nuts.

Nuts to him!
He'll still have his nuts, even when he's re-buried into the ground that his philthy Phil potato came from...

 

[BILLY MAYS]

"If you are white"
But you are white, Phil.

 

[AnOminous]

Nuts to him!
He'll still have his nuts, even when he's re-buried into the ground that his philthy Phil potato came from...

Phil will die as he lived adorned with two very tiny testicles.

 

[Erubetie]

Phil will die as he lived adorned with two very tiny testicles.

Tiny? With his incredibly masculine features and face, they're probably fairly large and/or swollen, or at least produce a ton of Testosterone that he does nothing about

 

[BILLY MAYS]

Tiny? With his incredibly masculine features and face, they're probably fairly large and/or swollen, or at least produce a ton of Testosterone that he does nothing about

Because his balls are crushed by his body fat, that's why they're small.

 

[Positron]

Tiny? With his incredibly masculine features and face, they're probably fairly large and/or swollen, or at least produce a ton of Testosterone that he does nothing about

Could be an adrenal tumor.

 

[Magique]

I bet he will be demanding hourly sponge baths

You missed one thing fella. He'll want to be shaved in the back. Imagine the nurse's face now.

 

[Psycho]

Y'know, has anyone else noticed Phil always seems to have his little surgery pattern?

He always says everything is all set up and planned out for surgery. Then, a week or two later, he's telling us all how he didn't get a referral letter from his doctor. Makes me think we need to have a countdown clock doctors not giving him letters.

 

[Positron]

He is lying out of his shit-encrusted ass all the time, as if not everyone has figured it out by now.
Even if he had collected all his mythical letters and sent out a referral, no clinic will schedule an appointment for an elective, waste-of-taxpayers'-money surgery in a month's time.

 

[Super Collie]

....what is the gallon of milk for?

It's actually part of one of those "hidden object" puzzles that grandmas like to play on Facebook. Here are some other objects you can search for in this horrifying image:

Fruit punch, disco ball, high heel shoe, radiator, subwoofer, prostitute with eyes gouged out feeling around on the walls for a way to escape.

 

[Tookie]

He always says everything is all set up and planned out for surgery. Then, a week or two later, he's telling us all how he didn't get a referral letter from his doctor. Makes me think we need to have a countdown clock doctors not giving him letters.

I'm sure ranting about "kiwis out to get him" and requesting "bomb-sniffing cats" from his doctors isn't helping his case much.

 

[DangerousGas]

Why are there balloons full of blood.

Dunno, but it looks like Pennywise has really let himself go in recent years.

 

[Android raptor]

Looks like claiming he got his balls chopped off is gonna be the new threatening suicide/claiming to have been raped.

Considering how few asspatters he has, I wonder what will happen when he inevitably snaps from lack of attention?