What's the best way to commit suicide?

[Nazi vegeta]

Eat 20 bananas in 1 day.

 

[BillionBisonBucks]

Go to the roof of a building on a busy street. Secure a rope to the roof, and your ankles. The rope should be about 15 feet shorter then the building. Secure piano wire to the roof and your neck. Finally, superglue your hands to the sides of your head, and jump.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

Just don't do whatever suicide thing you're doing when there's a sofa in the room.

 

[Johnny Bravo]

I think it would be pretty baller to kill yourself in such a way that you leave behind a Pompeii-style body cast. Just make sure to strike a cool pose.

Another stylish and slightly more, uh, "practical" method is to saw your own head off with a chainsaw. I saw a story about someone doing that in Articles & Happenings a while ago so it's not impossible.

 

[JB 236]

Apparently suicide is painless if M.A.S.H taught me anything, so just go Seppuku for style and don't fail.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Hire a load of hookers and just pay them to bang you until you die of exhaustion.

Or atomic explosion. Take a city with you. Get an incident named after you.

 

[Positron]

Gender dysphoria.

 

[Coelacanth]

Make a tumblr account. It doesn't matter if you decide to identify as a cis white man or a transexual two spirit pandakin, you'll end up dead either way.

 

[The Crow]

Carbon monoxide poisoning. All you need is a car and a garage.

 

[Porque no los dos?]

I am shocked that self immolation isn't an option.

Go out flaming.

 

[SiccDicc]

Do what 4Chan came up with a long time ago. Basically jump from a building with your hands glued to your head, there's a kind of wire that's used to cut cheese that you set up around your neck, you attach rope of some sort to your arms so that when you drop the wire cuts your head off and you're basically hanging holding your head for all to see. I can't find the image of the suggestion because ISIS made decapitation mainstream. I apologize.

 

[Kiwi Jeff]

It depends on what your definition of "best" is. Do you mean the most painless, or the coolest? Everyone here has already answered the former but as for the latter, I recommend building the most complex Rube Goldberg machine that you can. It's up to you to decide how you want it to take you out. Let your imagination run wild and just have fun with it.

 

[Some JERK]

100% of beheadings are fatal, and guillotines are extremely simple machines.

 

[Gus]

Marry a Jew, and then gamble off a week's paycheck at a horse race.

 

[Maxliam]

Marry a Jew, and then gamble off a week's paycheck at a horse race.

IDK....I'd probably be busy titty fucking her if she's got them big jewcy jew titties. I'd go all Mel Gibson on them sugar tits if you know what I mean.



I mean I'd have sexual relations with that bitch and probably die from exhaustion and crushed pelvis.

 

[KiwiKritter]

Stick your head in a microwave

 

[Carlos Thin]

Not listen to this song

 

[Clintonberg]

Marathon all 1,600 of Amberlynn Reid's youtube videos in one sitting.

 

[Vorhtbame]

Stick your head in a microwave

And get yourself a tan. *guitar lick*

Srsly, though, the easiest way to commit suicide is just carry on normal; death will happen to you eventually. And if you need something to pass the time while you wait, you can lift weights or volunteer in a soup kitchen or something.

 

[OG 666]

Not sure where this chart originated from, so take it with a grain of salt. But apparently, blowing your brains out is your best bet.