What are the most pretentious games ever made?

Bioshock Infinite because le Multiverse and dreamy stupid shit, the game was still good nonetheless though, even liked the DLCs

GTA IV partially and GTA 5, oh my gooood tha social commentary, murica capitalistic hellhole amIrite guyssss??
say what you will about the plot being stupid, the GAMEPLAY was what i hated the most about bioshock infinite. You literally are not given a single fucking choice at all whatsoever, it's all coercive fake bullshit. cant run out of ammo, can't run out of health, but elizabeth won't give you ammo for the guns that she wasn't scripted to. please stop trying to play around in our game, we have a strict plot to follow, thanks

Bioshock 1 and Bioshock 2 were a constant non-stop parade of choices. Do i upgrade this weapon, or that weapon? do i kill this baby daddy now, or later? do i spend my adam at the plasmid machine, or save it for the next one? do i use these crafting items to make this ammo, or that ammo? etc etc etc until the sun comes up, it was the entire pacing mechanism for the game. There is not A SINGLE FUCKING ONE OF THOSE IN BIOSHOCK INFINITE! it failed to do every single thing it set out to do with an immense amount of prejudice towards the audience - its a poster child for how badly and naively you can execute a product and still get people to call it good as long as they can get the the end screen.
 
Última edición:
Dirge of Cerberus final fantasy 7
1776047351430.png

gameplay wise id say it's perfectly serviceable. Even pretty good at points. The plot (when it sticks to the actual storyline) is a pretty fun fight against a bunch of genocidal literal glowie super soldiers that just want to kill everyone. The problem is when the plot frequently derails everything to focus on a shitty pretentious love story between our hero and the scientist lady that cucked him for a mad scientist. Seriously this shit is just... What the hell were they thinking? Is this somehow better presented in Japanese? (It wouldn't be the first time a translator fucked up) But even if it was, the pacing is all wrong

Imagine your doing all this badass, mindless, ass kicking of a bunch of super soldiers dressed up like tron. Your having a good time, your wondering why people gave this game shit and then suddenly roughly halfway In you get hit in the face with romance bullshit.


1776047432397.png
cue: LUCRECIA!

It may be the worst love storyline I've ever seen in a game. There's no depth, there's no point and it just keeps beating you over the head with this shit that really emasculates the main hero. I get angst, hell with the benefit of time I can even see the Gothic appeal of lamenting a lost lover, but there's no subtilty or complexity to it. Imagine if clint Eastwood had his whole badass stick right? Did all this cool shit and then halfway we get to see an inner monologue that wont shut up about how much he misses his girl he lost to some asshole. It honestly could have worked if they cut out the narration but man that really kills it. This bitch isn't even physically related to the events going on. She did research vaguely related to the villains and somehow got her dumbass stuck in a crystal in a cave the whole game. There's barely any point to the whole thing.

Then there's the adult stuck in a teenage body that carries two lightsabers around. Shelke

1776048226979.png

Im willng to potentially forgive how silly she is based on localization issues. (she's extremely popular in japan) But she has this really weird thing going on with Vincent I wasn't entirely comfortable with. At one point she decides to virtually dress up as his ex to motivate him in battle? It's bad.




I will say I do like the retcons they seem to be setting up for the remake series with lucrecia.
indications are that she was doing everything stupid to hide that Vincent is sephiroth's father and protect him. Still Irrational but at least it makes some sense
 
Saints Row Reboot.

I didn't finish it. I got to where the big plan to raise money was to join an illegal webcast game where you kill people and your group is horrified about how good you are at killing.

But you know from the beginning cutscene they betray and bury you.

The game is pretentious as fuck. Not just in making it, but in execution AND a nasty piece of lore.

The game, instead of puckish murderous rogues, is full of millenials who are getting into prostitution, drug selling, extortion, theft, GTA, and all that shit, to pay off student loans. The characters are absolutely fucking insufferable. The main character, you, is fucking stupid. The plot, what little of it there is, is lame even by a GTA/SR standpoint.

But what really got people is that EVERYTHING got renamed. No more Freckle Bitches. No more Rim Jobs (They changed it to Jim Robs, get it? GET IT?) They bragged about how they were toning stuff down right at the end. They bragged that NOW they had unlimited freeeeeeedom to make the game better.

Why? Because one of the devs died. IdolNinja died of cancer and the shit head devs spent 6 months ripping everything out of it to make it progressive and not fun and shit all over the gamers that IdolNinja had convinced Deep Silver were their audience.

And it crashed just like you'd expect.

Only it wasn't Deep Silver or the Dev's fault.

No.

It was gamers.

And IdolNinja.

I hope everyone working on the Reboot, including that fat smug whore, ends up having to sit in the welfare line for the rest of their lives.
 
Maybe not "pretentious" but its faggy aura certainly put me off buying the game.
Has anyone here played Receiver 2? It's a game with hyper-realistic bloody eyes simulated guns.
Anyway, from what I can tell - the developers seem terrified of you pointing them at anything vaguely humanoid and the game has to bring up the very very real serious issue of gun suicides in a very somber and not unintentionally side-splitting manner,
 
Maybe not "pretentious" but its faggy aura certainly put me off buying the game.
Has anyone here played Receiver 2? It's a game with hyper-realistic bloody eyes simulated guns.
Anyway, from what I can tell - the developers seem terrified of you pointing them at anything vaguely humanoid and the game has to bring up the very very real serious issue of gun suicides in a very somber and not unintentionally side-splitting manner,
I've played it, it's not really gay or anything since manipulating your gun is the whole entire premise of the game. That mechanic is actually fairly cool (and the only "vaguely humanoid" thing in the game is you).

To fill people in: the game is set in a world that has been fucked by some sort of reality-manipulating intelligence that manifested initially as a mind virus thing via subliminal messages in media (sort of an analogy with our governments being obsessed with trying to convince us we're all mentally ill for some reason, which I appreciate) and you're an agent (or a series of agents, since you die a lot) who prepped for this by conditioning themselves before the apocalypse. Or something.
The reality-manipulation thing shows up as affecting the probability of shit going wrong. It's a game where you need to consciously manipulate every step of handing your guns--you don't just hit R to reload for example, if it's a revolver you'd need to pop the cylinder, remove spent casings individually (or tilt it just right to shake em out), advance it as you insert them, close the cylinder and then make sure it's indexed with the barrel. This lets you find some cool tricks to manage combat reloads or whatever, but thanks to the reality-bending effect if you fuck something up it will fuck you over. Like if you holster a single-action revolver with the hammer cocked and it's on a live chamber you will shoot yourself in the fucking thigh, and if it's a high calibre that will kill you.
Advancing through the game involves collecting the good guys' own subliminal conditioning tapes (or something), but the evil thing tries to stop you by mixing in a few FUCKING KILL YOURSELF tapes and you need to be prepared for these. Gameplay-wise it's just a reason to be familiar enough with your guns to be able to clear them to a safe state fluently. Like with a semi-automatic that might be as simple as dropping the magazine and racking the slide the moment you hear a tape start to turn sour; with others you might need to plan ahead a little more.
If the devs were fags I don't think shoving a muzzle in your mouth would show up this often; overall it's pretty objective and informative about weapons except for a few /k/-style jokes. It's just gun drills: the game.

Pretty neat little distraction imo, worth grabbing if you see it cheap.
 
Atrás
Top Abajo