The shitty advice thread

[nagant 1895]

How do git gud?

button mash and use online-only-combos

 

[Glad I couldn't help]

I've been called for jury duty. How can I escape this terrible burden?

 

[PT 522]

I made some hot cocoa but it was too hot. I added some water to cool it down but then it was too weak. I drank it anyways.
How should I move on from this?

Drink your beverages hot next time like a man. Burn your throat and mouth to oblivion in a pointless show of masculinity.

 

[Tahoma]

some Homo sexuel wrote their number On a bathroom stall at my uni, shoild i make them Cum

also why my grundle smell good

 

[RG 448]

My neice has a serious drug problem and goes into rehab tommorow. How do I make sure she won’t stop selling me cocaine without coming off as insensitive?

 

[nagant 1895]

My neice has a serious drug problem and goes into rehab tommorow. How do I make sure she won’t stop selling me cocaine without coming off as insensitive?

Threaten to frame her for probation/parole violations unless she keeps giving you the hook up.

 

[RG 448]

Threaten to frame her for probation/parole violations unless she keeps giving you the hook up.

Nah she’s got too much dirt on me for that to work.

 

[Blood Bath & Beyond]

I've been called for jury duty. How can I escape this terrible burden?

Tell them about Kiwifarms and then call the judge a faggot.

 

[Midlife Sperglord]

Nah she’s got too much dirt on me for that to work.

Time for you to start selling blowjobs for more blow.

 

[RG 448]

Time for you to start selling blowjobs for more blow.

How do you think I’ve been raising the capital up to now?

 

[Midlife Sperglord]

How do you think I’ve been raising the capital up to now?

Just rip off a lifetime supply of cocaine from a Mexican cartel, then. It’s not like you’ll need your family alive anymore once you are hiding in Venezuela, having nose candy for every meal of the day.

 

[RG 448]

Just rip off a lifetime supply of cocaine from a Mexican cartel, then. It’s not like you’ll need your family alive anymore once you are hiding in Venezuela, having nose candy for every meal of the day.

Nah my family hooks me up with other good shit.

 

[PsychoNerd054]

That really embarrassing picture of me at that Christmas Party got leaked, what should I do?

 

[MemeGray]

That really embarrassing picture of me at that Christmas Party got leaked, what should I do?

Post it here. Please.

 

[Eryngium]

How do I restrain myself from strangling people with high pitched voices who talk loudly?

 

[Lame Entropy]

How do I restrain myself from strangling people with high pitched voices who talk loudly?

Easy, destroy your eardrums and it'll never be a problem again. As a bonus, you'll be immune to mouth breathers and people that chew like they were raised by pigs in a barn.

 

[Carcinogenesis]

I'm conflicted on whether traps are gay or not. I need some sort of middle ground.

 

[PT 522]

I'm conflicted on whether traps are gay or not. I need some sort of middle ground.

Hang a sailor moon poster over your bed. A trap sailor moon.

 

[Midlife Sperglord]

How do I restrain myself from strangling people with high pitched voices who talk loudly?

Shoot them instead.

 

[Carcinogenesis]

That really embarrassing picture of me at that Christmas Party got leaked, what should I do?

Show everyone your porn collection, now that picture will be tame compared to what you showed them.