Sneed Baby inc - A Kiwi Farms narrative consultation thread.

  • 🇵🇦 Nuestro primer dominio localizado está en español en kiwifarms.pa. Our first localized domain is on Spanish on kiwifarms.pa.
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Shaneequa

Shaneequa

kiwifarms.net
Registrado
11 de Oct, 2020
Sneed Baby INC Logomark.png
Logo by @Kiwi2Shoes

Founded in 2024, Sneed Baby Inc. is a narrative development and consultation thread based in Kiwi Farms and working around the globe. Our mission is to tell better stories.

We believe you need Kiwi voices to solve diverse problems. Sneed Baby Inc. provides narrative consultation at any stage of development, boasting a talented team with vetted shitposting experience.

Whether you need a fresh pair of eyes or a guiding hand, we’re here to work with you.​


Our Approach;

We begin with an all hands review and discussion of the project material. Everyone at Sneed Baby sees your project and shares their thoughts, feelings, and ideas. We do this because it kicks the project off with a multitude of perspectives, beginning a conversation that ensures the work is richer and more resonant before it’s even put to paper.

We aim to consult with honesty, transparency and a conversational approach to help find the best direction for your project.

From manifestos to schizoposts and everything in-between, we tackle every type of writing.

We bring excitement, emotion, and character to the forefront, and aren’t afraid of breaking something down and making fun of you for posting it.

Whatever your story needs, we’re here to sneed.
 
Última edición:
I am available for consulting. I accept payment in Hot Pockets, Faygo soda, and food stamps (so that I can use them to buy Hot Pockets and Faygo).

Experience:
Lolcow LLC (dba Kiwi Farms)
Sr. Associate Low Effort Shitposter
2013 - present
 
I vote that we also Sneedify existing games or movies. For instance, with Suicide Squad Kills the Justice League every character should have been a white man, including Wonder Woman.

By making every character a white man, we could avoid potential headlines of "Watch this white man kill a black super hero" with a picture of Captain Boomerang attacking Green Lantern.

My fee is 4,000 doubloons.
 
Hello! I am writing a story for a video game. It is a fantasy setting where the main character is a knight in shining armor: a white male, heterosexual, and he is in love with a beautiful female princess whom he must save amidst killing hoards of green-skinned monsters. My fear is that 1% of the market will dislike the game because the main character is not an absolutely flaming faggot with a fetish for black penis and a desire to eventually turn himself into a woman. How can I mitigate the damage of losing 1% of my consumers? I need your expert consultation, Sneed Baby!
 
Cheeseknife dijo:
Hello! I am writing a story for a video game. It is a fantasy setting where the main character is a knight in shining armor: a white male, heterosexual, and he is in love with a beautiful female princess whom he must save amidst killing hoards of green-skinned monsters. My fear is that 1% of the market will dislike the game because the main character is not an absolutely flaming faggot with a fetish for black penis and a desire to eventually turn himself into a woman. How can I mitigate the damage of losing 1% of my consumers? I need your expert consultation, Sneed Baby!
Presiona para expandir...
Call that 1% braindead faggot niggerlovers and murder a elderly dark man during a live interview.

That will be 500¢
 
Cheeseknife dijo:
Hello! I am writing a story for a video game. It is a fantasy setting where the main character is a knight in shining armor: a white male, heterosexual, and he is in love with a beautiful female princess whom he must save amidst killing hoards of green-skinned monsters. My fear is that 1% of the market will dislike the game because the main character is not an absolutely flaming faggot with a fetish for black penis and a desire to eventually turn himself into a woman. How can I mitigate the damage of losing 1% of my consumers? I need your expert consultation, Sneed Baby!
Presiona para expandir...
Make the green skinned monsters explicitly immigrants who are invading the land. Have local newspapers and town cryers call them doctors, lawyers, and rocket scientists (or wizards-in-training if that fits the world better). Reveal later in the story that the local media is owned by wealthy goblins who use banking and family ties to keep themselves in power.
 
Cheeseknife dijo:
Hello! I am writing a story for a video game. It is a fantasy setting where the main character is a knight in shining armor: a white male, heterosexual, and he is in love with a beautiful female princess whom he must save amidst killing hoards of green-skinned monsters. My fear is that 1% of the market will dislike the game because the main character is not an absolutely flaming faggot with a fetish for black penis and a desire to eventually turn himself into a woman. How can I mitigate the damage of losing 1% of my consumers? I need your expert consultation, Sneed Baby!
Presiona para expandir...
i see your first problem here already, why havent you heavily implied that the princess fucks dogs?
 
Cheeseknife dijo:
Hello! I am writing a story for a video game. It is a fantasy setting where the main character is a knight in shining armor: a white male, heterosexual, and he is in love with a beautiful female princess whom he must save amidst killing hoards of green-skinned monsters. My fear is that 1% of the market will dislike the game because the main character is not an absolutely flaming faggot with a fetish for black penis and a desire to eventually turn himself into a woman. How can I mitigate the damage of losing 1% of my consumers? I need your expert consultation, Sneed Baby!
Presiona para expandir...
This is a fairly common problem in fantasy games, but fear not! This has already been solved by the legendary Blizzard Entertainment. All you have to do is make a side quest in which you assist two gay centaurs to propose to each other. Whether gay centaurs fuck with a dick in the front, like a man, or a dick in the back, like a horse, can be left up to the imagination of your customers.
 
Leper dijo:
Can you make my favorite game pass the Bechdel test?
Presiona para expandir...
There was this movie/show online (can't remember the name unfortunately) where the main cast was entirely men. In one shot, two women are talking on street and they say:

"Hey Jessica, have you ever heard of the Bechdel Test?"

"I havent Kaitlyn, but it sounds stupid."

Which made it so the movie passed the idiotic test. Then the main character walks by and the plot continues like nothing happened.
 
I can offer consultancy services regarding Brazilian issues and localization for the Brazilian release of games. I accept payment at Brazilian rates which are very competitive in the market.
 
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