random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

That dude looks like he could easily smoke a pack, down a bottle of wine, and fuck his two other mistresses before the big race just to give himself a far greater competitive advantage.

you can't simultaneously be an infinite wellspring of wisdom and not be able to wipe your own ass because you had 4 strokes due to your inability to cease scarfing Mcdoubles

I think being truly exceptionally dumb is what makes my favorite lolcows.

"These Nazis keep calling me a 'foid'. I need to research what that means."

Bitch wouldn't survive five minutes here.

I can't believe we've hit the point of niggers trying to reclaim "You can take a nigger out of the jungle but you can't take the jungle out of a nigger" as eMpOwErMeNt.

Man, I'd watch the hell out of a Louis Theroux doc about coomers.

My diagnosis: This man has Almost Getting It Syndrome.

 

[Vyse Inglebard]

Ah, capitalism. They bitch about it until it works in their favor. Every single time.

 

[Disdainer of the Plebs]

Posting on A&H should get you at least 50% trashcans each post or you're not doing it right.

 

[Tom Arnold Schwarzenigger]

Media like this is a vector for the tranny mind virus.

Granted I don't know how the AI could be so unlucky to get a white guy with a black wife, a MTF tranny, a "nonbinary" FTM tranny or something, and a Tumblrina weeaboo lesbian in the same batch, but I digress. No wonder it went insane.

Its like Charlie trading in the golden ticket for another bar of chocolate.

Also, where do you think you are? This is autism bait, and we are the autism.

G-ville has like 4 autists whereas C-ville has hundreds of varied characters from all walks of life

vore, so much vore.

They better get Chris to voice himself and Sonichu, or else he's not gonna be happy.

Ignore what I just said, this was all orchestrated by (((them))) to destroy west.

You know what else is pink?
pepto bismol
yeah better think twice about that claim

 

[Shartavius]

woolie is like a retarded 3 legged dog and Pat likes retarded dogs more than his son.

I watch those special books by special kids youtube videos and there are some pitiable woman on there.

 

[demicolon]

Moreover, its supposed to be badass, but it's still in his disgusting room. Motherfucker is so damn lazy he can't even use AI to clean his fucking room!!!

 

[Cun75p4rkl35]

germans are niggers and i hate them

 

[Black Man Underwear]

My Mom does NAWT have a tiny Weiner it's thick and meaty

 

[Pee Cola]

Russell Greer - so awful that people would rather discuss taxes.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

I watched Barbarella (it was okay, but Jane Fonda should have been dropped out of a helicopter)

The rape movies are made by Italians. Jews make shitty comedies about black men fucking their wives. The British make movies about cross dressing and gay sex. The French make bad movies combining all this and pretend it's art.

mcdolan is only good if it's 4:00 AM and you need to get to the airport and don't want to spend $20 there for a somehow even worse bagel. also their frappes are pretty good since it's just pure sugar. if i want a burger im just gonna go a block further to the millenial hipster burger place that actually knows how to make good food that also doesn't make you wish you had just killed yourself instead.

What sort of derangement and childhood abuse caused the clussy show?

This is the kind of show that's entertainment value relies entirely on its relatability factor, but if you can relate to this you should probably be hate-crimed

If you can remain angry while eating pizza you deserve it for free imo.

As a kid, I was able to understand the absurdity of Bee Movie, so I laughed at the montage, and Bee Movie didn’t start a movement that turned every fucking thing in the world into Bee Movie, while having a bunch of Bees on the sex offender registry singing that they’re coming for our kids, and having the Bee Movie creators telling me that their agenda was to indoctrinate kids to be attracted to bees.

That's okay, they can't un-poke his eyes

Im a professional potato air fryer cooker

THEY GOT HIM

HE GOT UNGOT

Last few years before I left the teaching high school I was getting at least one Final Fantasy name a year.

She's not at the cup size of consent, you sick fuck!

When I'm dictator, I'm building the wall, except instead of Mexico I'm building it around Utah to keep all that Mormon shit over there.
Ver archivo adjunto 9120794

I GOON TO FAT TITS NIGGER
I BURP MY WORM TO PENDULOUS SACKS OF FAT THAT MAKE MY PEEPEE HURT
I dDO THE SKIBIDI STROKE TO HUMAN UDDERS
IF I WERE A HINDU DEITY I'D STROKE ALL 17MILLION OF MY COCKS TO FAT ASSED WOMEN (WHITE)
FEMALES THAT SPORT LESS THAN G CUPS ARE SUBHUMANS
WHEN THE SUN DIES OUT AND HUMANITY PERISHES I'LL BE THERE IN SPIRIT TO SALUTE THE LAST PAIR OF TITS THIS UNIVERSE WILL WITNESS


ALL HAIL TESSA FOWLER

I want to print these schizoposts and mail them to the government. Local, state and national. I don't know what any of it means

my hair is baby thin and there's literally nothing I can do with it but have it cut short a single length. If I try to have anything else done to it it just flops down after a few minutes because my hair is literally the width of one electron

i tried looking up what a polish nationalist is called and i wrote in polephile and it recommended to me r/polyamory

fuckin' gross

the word i was looking for was polonophile

This is what happens when you hand off the cultural definition of "truth" to piss bottle men dwelling in basements who ban all actual experts from participating unless whatever they said was posted by a "reliable source" like @REEEEEPUNCHNAZIS on Twitter who is clinically retarded and when he isn't editing Wikipedia articles is gooning to tranny porn or collecting his own shit in a giant vat

 

[McMitch]

"Any time it looks like I got BTFO on the Internet, it's actually a Jewish psy-op."

 

[sodaboard]

Men like big bouncy boobs and jiggly ass cheeks. I'm gay and even I like them.

 

[Tom Arnold Schwarzenigger]

Hi Gork: many calories does it burn to slap a bitch?

 

[Tablet County]

If that baby is a unicorn, drop-kick that nigger faggot baby into the sun.

Null really has gone too far when he began ranting about gruyere and how it's holes are made to "pleasure him to the extreme"

She looks like one of the manjawed daughters of the Giant battlemage character I'm playing in the Elder Scrolls mod for CK3 except she's short and she's obviously dyed her hair for clout.

 

[Drip Torch]

We waz squirrels 'n shieet

 

[Chromeo]

We don't have a niggers huffing fire extinguishers thread as far as I can tell

''AAAAH MY SKIN IS MELTING AAAAAAHHHH THIS ISN'T A PLANET FULL OF HOT BABES AAAAAAAAAHHHH WHY DID I HAVE TO MAKE A MASONIC SEX CULT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH WHY DIDN'T I JUST FOLLOW THE TEACHINGS OF CHRIST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!"
-The "prophet" Joseph Smith five seconds ago

 

[Tablet County]

I wouldn't personally do either, but in a consequence free universe, I would kill Rhett and fuck Link. Not because I'm gay, but to break him as a man.

Northern Ireland police deploy late night snatch squads

Now that is a fucking porn title.

 

[Keystone]

What exactly is your proposed solution to "there is nothing we can do"? Turn Super Saiyan 24 and fly to Israel to personally Spirit Bomb Netanyahu?

 

[Tablet County]

So, I may have rediscovered the @BoxerShorts47 thread, and in doing so also rediscovered that @Drain Todger is one of the funniest people on this website. So you're going to be seeing a lot of content from both.

toddlers are the manliest of creatures, spending their days throwing pants shitting tantrums

I can't believe that @NIGGER ASS PEE POOPY RAPE just destroyed @BoxerShorts47 with facts and logic.

I bomb a nation every morning before breakfast when I leave an arm-sized turd in the pot. My friends call me B-52 on account of all the shitters I've blown up.

A man who admitted he wants MLP characters to plow his asshole and a woman convinced Harvey Weinstein is part of some conspiracy against her have both made you look foolish.

You're the guy who wants to put his sex end into kids you weirdo.

“DA JOOS MADE ME THIS WAY! DA JOOS MADE ME DYSGENIC and they gave me my unnatural, irresistible, indefatigable THIRST for BUSSY! My COCK would not find BUTTHOLE so easily if they hadn’t CRISPRed my masculinity out of my GENES!”

I hope you mistakenly kiss a woman with pungent cock breath, OP, and she breathes the unmistakable scent of another man’s cock right into your lungs.

"Is my son gonna be a SCARY RAPIST? Is he gonna come home and be like, 'ma, I stuck mah peeeenis in a girl while she was blackout drunnnnnnk'. I shiver to think of it!"

Bigfoot was a whore.

 

[Hepativore]

Only thing I did not like about transitioning (ftm) is that now I don't have pussy smell. I have BALL SMELL. It's offensive to me compared to the OG smell I had