random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

Why sacrifice your precious time and resources when you could be spending that time gooning?

I know that we bestow many Almost-Getting-It Awards here, but can we commission a special casting of a Actually-Got-It-Then-Threw-It-Away Medal? Just this once?

Ooooh! A new racist epithet just dropped.

I mean, some little shit at the park just yesterday stuck his tongue out* at me, and while I was, of course, tempted to crucify him onto the play-structure as a warning to the other disrespectful brats for his crime of lèse-majesté against this august Lord Of Shit, but... meh. He's only eight, and I am a merciful Shit Lord.

*Such an anachronistic gesture kinda came off as oddly charming, in fact. I mean, what kid sticks out his tongue at people outside of Disney movies?

Edit: They have reached new lows previously thought impossible. Is there any limit to the dumbassery? Probably not.

There's so many jokes that I can make about this and it's all related to the atomic bomb.

I'm a male, my passions in life are eating meat and having erections!

 

[pro drivor]

One of my favorite scenes ever is from the background of a gangbang, because of how few men sign up there are quite a few straight4pay types and at one point a guy gets so turned on waiting for his turn he grabs the ass of the nearest dude and tries to finger it and the other guy loses his shit and it grinds everything to a halt its hilarious. they even have a guy shouting off screen "what the fuck was that!" just because it comes out of nowhere and is literally the best part of the entire industry.

post your most niche faps

it takes everything I have to not just start banning you ungrateful freaks



"why isn't null up at EIGHT IN THE FUCKING MORNING deleting posts I DIDN'T EVEN REPORT??????????" idk why aren't you eating shit on all fours like a fucking animal you troglodyte gremlin

@Lurker

STOP REPLYING TO POSTS THAT I HAVE TO DELETE SO I ALSO HAVE TO DELETE YOUR FUCKING POSTS TOO.

"WE HAVE TO WARN OUR BROTHERS! ALL WOMEN ARE GAY!"

[Please don't answer that -- I don't want to know the detailed masturbatory habits of strangers. I'm just surprised to read that every one of someone's self love experiences has required external visual assistance.]

@Null porn

 

[indomitable snowman]

Niggers think this is an artisanal, organic, hand-crafted forum hosted from Null's basement, on servers made from humanely harvested, conflict-free minerals.

A random factoid, if you really hate someone plant some running bamboo when they leave for vacation for a few days.

 

[assigned Karen at birth]

Lawyers deal with black people every day. It doesn't faze them.

"Silicone baby for the butt" is true

Love from Uzbekistan I hate women so much it is unreal

you gotta just saddle up to that hole and suck whatever comes out, and if you're wearing a skirt it makes you a girl
wait, what are we talking about?

bitch i can lift 153 kilos and i am a midget, and i can crack open pecan nuts and small rocks with just my bite alone (if a rock is smaller than my jawbone, i can crush it) (been strength-training my jaws, cuz i might be caught without a weapon and need to maul someone)

ive been training for years to beat up a chimp
ive been play-wrestling with a donkey from time to time

The burden of proof of penis theft is with the accuser, not the accused. Those who make allegations of magical penis theft violate the law.

 

[a kiwifarms user]

Maybe tumblr has its own dedicated greenhouse to grow ASCII fruits.

 

[Chromeo]

is that an anus or a sandworm

I've jerked off to every single post in this thread. Please try to post slower, I'm in incredible pain.

AIDS?
I bet it's AIDS.

They have fried chicken caramel ice cream and nobody told me?

 

[Autistic Joe]

Didn't expect Ted Kaczynski in toddler's nursery rhyme book

 

[xXx_Smartest Retard_xXx]

She...upon her adrenaline she does physically harm to me...

7.15

Just lost my fianceé, my best friend, and my entire friend group in 24 hours

https://nitter.net/ChibiReviews/status/2022050948563243068#m