random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Secret Boots]

Wrong, is earth's mommy milk breastfeeding us until we are big enough for nuclear energy so we start piping venus, europa and mars like chads but humans got arrested development somewhere along the line so we refuse to eat our healthy green rads.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

Jim clearly is confused from his cancer aids and mistook the sounds of pig noises as Ralph’s sextape

 

[JayseeDenton]

Dooming is learned helplessness.

 

[internet friend]

I was having a terrible day and this made it worse.

 

[Sneed's Feed n Seed]

common sense assault knife territory

 

[Autistic Joe]

I take my drinking advice from alcoholics (Tardl), my cooking advice from McDonald's workers (Tardl's mom), my sex advice from rapists (Tardl's dad), and my life advice from my life coach named Tardl Wartdick.

 

[Aunt Carol]

christ people, don't admit in public you are a nutjob, keep that shit to yourself.

Get rid of the non-whites includes getting rid of the Irish.

Like, a hospital is the last place you should go if you want to keep a hole. They’re in the business of closing up holes.

chock full of fucking pronouns

Her doodsoul is broken, her gender has a compound fracture, and her tdick is bruised.

You will meet your big fatty fat fat fat soot again.

Do you NOT change your dick oil every 5,000 fucks?

As it is Holy Pride Month, we must bear witness to these displays of homosexual love with as much vaginal squirting and ejaculation as possible.

The full list of all 37 symptoms is full of so many non-symptoms like just "bladder" BLADDER WHAT??? bladder alone isn't a symptom is it a overactive bladder? Under-active bladder? Bladder pain? these are all very different symptoms you can't just classify under "bladder".

“Teeth” is also a symptom. Teeth.

Wait, I have both a bladder and teeth! Oh my god, I have long covid!

 

[Black Man Underwear]

my jowls are now boobs

 

[Israel Light]

what!??????? is that mean you diagnose me with sensitive penis syndrome???? is there something wrong with me? I'm scared

 

[Cun75p4rkl35]

I want to throttle that stupid faggot rabbit for fumbling that bad bitch of a frog so hard she died.

Highlights include Zach Hadel and the two meanest gay guys ive ever met savaging the children in the theatre.

 

[Meat Target]

“We have hate crime experts that will be on the ground,”

 

[Grand Duke Snowfall]

Dont dizz my nigga chris like that, at least shit happens in CWCville.

 

[Silver Higgs]

How weird. This is weird content but I love this stuff.

Tru Warren speaking with a sex doll with a smartphone running a LLM app attached to it's head. His "E-wife"

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

ruins the act of eating and pooping for me

I'm here to make sure the baby never becomes a reality.

It's not gore because of what you see. It's gore of the soul.

'Jakking has evolved to such a degree I can't tell if this is meant to be mocking or not, or if it's even meant to be anything at all.

They went to lunch

 

[Tablet County]

I would probably kill myself if cheese stopped existing.

Not quite as funny as the robot kicking the chink kid, but I'll take it.

 

[Harm]

I just find it deeply ironic that Null doesn't understand what NSFW means since he's never had a job.

 

[Oliver Onions]

For those of you who are wondering she did bite down on an actual pickle, and not her male wife's penis.

 

[Sneed's Feed n Seed]

Honestly, I'm going to be kind of gay for a minute here, but this sort of thing gives me real mixed feelings.

 

[Bill Evans 45]

Cows can neither be rehabilitated nor coerced into longterm compliance in meeting basic expectations of civilization - They exist to inflict themselves upon anyone they can sniff out as a victim, and to whatever extent they convince themselves they can get away with, until they're effectively swept off the board due to a coronary event, overdose, or the avoidable outcome of having plied their trade with the wrong person. Either that, or they achieve functional exile through incarceration or hospitalization.

Preach!

 

[mindlessobserver]

The court may not have declared me a vexatious litigant by denying ifp, BUT I SURE FELT THAT WAY! He stole my rights! HE MADE ME INTO A CHEESEBURGER!