Presidential Penis Speculation

[Red Hood]

Since Trump's penis is apparently newsworthy, let's speculate on what each US president's member was like, from first to last.

I'll start: per the Washington Monument, I believe George Washington's penis was a perfectly angled alabaster obelisk.

 

[Yellow Yam Scam]

Basically every president up until the industrial revolution had a huge penis because a certain tribe of people were not yet able to add their hormone destroying chemicals into the food supply yet.

 

[adorable bitch]

every good president had a big penis and every bad president had a small penis.

 

[BILLY MAYS]

Obama's penis is a near seven incher damn cock, is larger than previously photographed, and no longer bent.

 

[OhGoy]

teddy roosevelt had the biggest dick of all the presidents

he constantly repeated the phrase "speak softly and carry a big dick"

 

[ICametoLurk]

Obama's penis is a near seven incher damn cock, is larger than previously photographed, and no longer bent.

 

[Positron]

every good president had a big penis and every bad president had a small penis.

Those who have no penis cannot be president.

 

[Trasha Pay That A$$]

The only thing not crooked about Nixon was his dick.

Those who have no penis cannot be president.

Pick your tranny president 2020?

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

LBJ famously had a massive dick, to the point he nicknamed it Jumbo and would walk around his office with it hanging out, bragging, "You ever seen one this big?"

Then there's this taped conversation with the tailor requesting his pants be bigger so he has more room for his cock.

EDIT: It was Jumbo, not Jimbo

 

[break these cuffs]

Old Hickory was the biggest dicked president ever. Physically yuge enough to determine his nickname and his metaphorical balls possibly larger still. He didn't take no shit from injuns or kikes and he survived the attempt on his life by the tribe.

 

[ES 148]

All politicians have tiny dicks in comparison to Hulk Hogan

 

[Lipitor]

dems have liberally sized penises, and republicans have conservatively sized dongers.

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

Wilson had five dicks, lined next to each other. He called it his wood row.

 

[OB 946]

Abraham Lincoln had the hairiest dick of any president. Supremely sizable beard.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

How can this even be up to debate when we have the most scientifically accurate analyzing software at our disposal already?

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Truman’s was not only big, but he knew how to use it, for he was a true man.

 

[CWCchange]

JFK was the only president proven to be circumcised, from his own account because phimosis in the 1930s. LOL, and he was the only Catholic.

 

[You Can't Sit With Us]

I changed my profile pic on Grindr to a picture of Trump, and this happened:

Spoiler

Also, i literally got banned from Grindr for impersonation, because i had a Trump profile pic for a couple of hours.

 

[Star Wormwood]

Jackson had no penis, just a second face on his crotch that screamed about how much it hated banks.

Truman’s was not only big, but he knew how to use it, for he was a true man.

It was a Fair Deal larger than most other cocks.

 

[Rand /pol/]

I changed my profile pic on Grindr to a picture of Trump, and this happened:

Spoiler

Also, i literally got banned from Grindr for impersonation, because i had a Trump profile pic for a couple of hours.

Why're you on Grindr