BPDs shouldn’t have kids post
I did some sperging in the NB thread about cPTSD vs BPD and how cPTSD might be a helpful framework. Especially in regards to people who had traumatic childhoods vs people who have not.
I’ll illustrate with two real life examples of 2 BPDers I have met.
1. BPD diagnosis, white female. Promiscuous, dramatic, inappropriate clothing and hypersexual behavior. Can’t hold a job. Went from eating meat to being vegan to getting a vegan tattoo (!!!) in a span of 3 weeks due to identity disturbance. Regularly and loudly threatened suicide. No trauma history.
2. BPD diagnosis, black male. Abused physically and sexually by mom and boyfriend. Neglected. Removed from home and placed with unpleasant grandmother. Became a bit “whooo” with crystals, meditation, and Buddhist philosophy. Held a job, graduated university, and was one of the “chillest” people I have ever met. Granted, the guy was rigorous about his spiritual health. Practically monk like and forced himself to practice meditation twice a day.
1 shouldn’t have kids, at least not now. 2 could manage it without fucking them up too bad.
I have met a lot of people who would fit under the cPTSD category and could easily be diagnosed BPD. But they all 1) have extensive trauma and 2) lack certain BPD characteristics like anger and identity disturbance.
This makes me think that cPTSD is a helpful diagnosis and can distinguish from natural BPD vs PTSD with learned BPD traits. It can also tag those who need DBT vs those who would need EMDR/trauma + DBT.
If you put #1 (affluent white girl, no trauma with BPD) into trauma therapy, you would be wasting time and fueling the drama. If you put #2 into DBT without trauma work, you would also be wasting time because you’re not getting to the core of the problem.
In my opinion, those “BPD”ers with trauma histories that lack identity disturbance and anger symptoms are much easier to work with and far likelier to drop BPD traits once trauma work has been undertaken. So much so that diagnosing them with cPTSD might be more helpful than diagnosing them with BPD.
For a shitty lolcow comparison: Bex Gerber vs Venus.
Bex has no trauma history. She is classic BPD. Promiscuous, dramatic, splitting, identity disturbance, etc. You should NOT validate her by telling her she is a trauma victim. It will only make shit worse.
Venus has extensive narc abuse history. She definitely could qualify for BPD diagnosis. (Idk how she is with anger and identity. She has substance abuse problems that would need to be addressed before diagnosing BPD preferably.)
I would argue Venus has a much better shot at recovery from a BPD diagnosis than Bex. And that to lump them both together on symptomology alone isn’t that helpful as it doesn’t address the root of the symptoms.
Okay sperg over
@deermeat you definitely talk like someone who would benefit from trauma therapy and DBT. Just from your history and current living situation alone. Your posts are very reminiscent of people I’ve met in the past who struggled with chronic childhood abuse and the destructive thought and behavioral patterns that follow.
