Network Printers are the legitimate Satan - Error: Printer not detected

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You know what I hate? HP ink cartridges aren't universal. Every fucking model of printer has its fucking own cartridge. WHY
I understand that older models may have a different kind of cartridges than newer ones, but YOU CAN'T PUT ONE DIFFERENT KIND OF CARTRIDGE FOR EVERY FUCKING PRINTER YOU SELL
That's a jew move!
 
Cool Username dijo:
You know what I hate? HP ink cartridges aren't universal. Every fucking model of printer has its fucking own cartridge. WHY
I understand that older models may have a different kind of cartridges than newer ones, but YOU CAN'T PUT ONE DIFFERENT KIND OF CARTRIDGE FOR EVERY FUCKING PRINTER YOU SELL
That's a jew move!
Presiona para expandir...
or buy a 3rd party one and its about 67% chance on whether it works or not and they're not much cheaper than the fucking official ones but some models they stop releasing official ones so you have to go 3rd party if you dont want to end up with a $60 cartridge + shipping
 
The ones at work are constantly fucked up and make all sorts of screeching noises less than a month after we get them. Need to print shit out? Well too bad, it's having a bad day amd maybe you'll get one page printed per minute if it feels like it. Put in a 3rd party cartridge? Well, prepare to go fuck yourself with it because it autistically screeches at you that it's counterfeit and how dare you not bleed money for a multimillion dollar business.

That being said, they make me treasure my toner printers more.
 
Moths dijo:
or buy a 3rd party one and its about 67% chance on whether it works or not and they're not much cheaper than the fucking official ones but some models they stop releasing official ones so you have to go 3rd party if you dont want to end up with a $60 cartridge + shipping
Presiona para expandir...
I've been buying 3rd party cartridges for many years now. They aren't reliable and it wouldn't surprise if they exploded and the printer caught on fire. But at least they're cheaper
 
Cool Username dijo:
You know what I hate? HP ink cartridges aren't universal. Every fucking model of printer has its fucking own cartridge. WHY
I understand that older models may have a different kind of cartridges than newer ones, but YOU CAN'T PUT ONE DIFFERENT KIND OF CARTRIDGE FOR EVERY FUCKING PRINTER YOU SELL
That's a jew move!
Presiona para expandir...
44.PNG

They are universal though, and if you're lucky you can find a retailer that sells cheap official ink from Thailand.
 
I have a Canon one and I could not for the life of me figure out how to get it to scan something until I downloaded the iPad app and just scanned through that

so somehow this piece of shit can't scan from any of my computers and needs an entire iPad app downloaded and connected to it so I can finally have access to the Scan button
 
Time to print that boarding pass. Just need to turn the printer on, and...

Please wait.
Please wait.
Please wait.
Checking for firmware updates...
New firmware update available! Press OK to download.
Please wait.
Please wait.
Please wait.
 
Thought I had a recent HP one licked. Printing and scanning fine from Windows 10 without having to install HP's crapware.

Then it stopped working, said it was offline. All I had to do was recreate the exact same network 'printer port' and switch to that and it worked fine. Made a great deal of sense.
 
Kosher Dill dijo:
Never buy an HP printer new enough to use USB.
Presiona para expandir...
Do not ignore this advice. I've seen so many HPs where the printhead just decided to die out of the blue for absolutely no reason and there's basically nothing you can do to fix it that would be cost effective in any sense.
 
Used to work at in a small office, and was doing a ton of changeover from older to newer tech in the mid 2000s, was a great job. Office hens are great if you keep their shit running smoothly, but the guy before me had a hell of a sense of humor about things. Dude just quit one day and never came back, never answered his phone and just cut all ties so most of my job was just learning what, and why he did things. He had some funny labels. For instance the color laser printer was labeled "COLORED printer".. I laughed for a solid 5 minutes at that one. One lady's pc was labeled "stranglebaby".. when she was born she had the cord wrap around her neck and cut off her air for like 5 minutes. So much stuff like this that probably wouldn't be all that funny, but it just killed me everytime something like that popped up.

That colored printer was amazing, never had a single issue with it, but the other ones were a fucking nightmare, these bitches had to have the best new fancy printer. Always a nightmare when they fucked up something.
 
I think half the problem is people buying dirt cheap printers that are designed solely to sell over-priced ink. I have a laser. I don't use it often - it can go months without me printing something. Then I need to print something and it works just fine. No gunged up ink, no silly-priced tiny wee cartridges with more DRM than Denuvo. I turn it on and it prints. Got it... five years ago? Six?
 
Buy a Brother laser (B&W or color depending on your needs). Even the high-end AIO units are cheap for what they offer (duplex printing, copying, scanning and faxing, including single-pass duplex scanning via the document feeder -- mine was $450 new and the model got cheaper before it was discontinued). They all speak Postscript natively (so anything that can transmit data to one by any means can print to them even without any drivers).

The network-capable models have competent network stacks with native services for LPR (Unix/Linux), IPP (everything, even MacOS), AppSocket (everything in the known universe), CIFS (Windows) and more. Many provide SSL-capable web interfaces allowing printing of text files, images and PDFs just by uploading them from a browser. Scanning models support TWAIN, meaning they can be used for scanning on most systems even if they don't have Brother-specific drivers installed.

Many (including non-network models) include USB ports and can print documents from thumb drives (and disks) and scan directly to them. Those functions still work even when the printer isn't connected to a network or a computer.

They're reliable and well-behaved. They'll easily last a decade or longer (even the cheap models). Brother don't use DRM on their toner cartridges or drums, and all their printers will happily accept aftermarket replacements and refilled/recycled cartridges. Color models will continue to print black & white documents even if one or more of the color toner cartridges are empty. Scanning and fax transmission features still work when there's no paper or toner.

Most (if not all) models include a user-accessible SODIMM slot so you can expand the unit's memory to an absurd degree. I think mine (model number MFC-L8850CDW) started out with 32MB but one dirt-cheap SODIMM later and it's at 256MB now. It can speed up scanning and copying in particular since it vastly expands how much it can buffer as it works.

Brother provides native drivers for Linux, Windows, MacOS and official apps for iOS and Android that integrate with each platform's native printing features where available and provide them separately if the platform doesn't for some reason. They provide extensive documentation, including separate manuals detailing hardware maintenance and drum and belt replacement.

My model is discontinued now (and you can't have mine, get away!) but they still furnish all the same documentation as before, still provide support for it, still update the software for it (it uses their "Universal Printer Driver") and still produce and sell its consumables and replacement parts. I've had mine for three years now and it's never had so much as a hiccup. It replaced an older Brother that I had for 7 years that had no problems until my dumb ex-wife managed to break it. She never did admit what exactly she did to it but she sure was in a hurry to throw it away before I could dig into it. At least she sprang for the new one.

They're great printers, well worth the money.
 
The company I work for has about a half dozen brother printers, both laser and inkjet, and I have a brother inkjet at home I bought to set up my home office at the beginning of the pandemic. Never really had a problem with any of them tbh. They work great, they work with everything, phones, windows, linux, mac. Biggest issue is they show fucking ads on the touchscreen, but that amounts to a minor annoyance.
 
Kosher Dill dijo:
Never buy an HP printer new enough to use USB.
Presiona para expandir...
Or any from right before that changeover, for that matter. I have never used a good HP printer.

NuII's Dad dijo:
Imagine using a printer with network connectivity or wireless features. Just buy a $22 USB HP printer for each individual device.
Presiona para expandir...
Even el cheapo ones come with wireless functions now, I mean we're at an age where you have to decide whether or not you want your lightbulbs to be connected to the internet
 
One thing companies need to also stop doing is using consumer grade printers in the office!

The fuckers are not meant to be used as business machines!

They aren't built for high volume, sustained abuse, or reliability. Yes, the business models cost more, because they are fucking designed to meet business needs without shitting the bed everyday. Stop being a fucking cheap kike and buy the appropriate printer for the job instead of trying to get your IT people to keep consumer shit working when it just isn't fucking reasonable to do so.

Hell, they need to stop using consumer grade IT/electronics in the office, full stop. There is business-grade shit for a reason.
 
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