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Motherhood & Parenting Thread - AKA: Why is my daughter eating my chapstick?
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There’s your solution. I’d back off, and stop trying to fix it - I don’t say that as a criticism of you, but I don’t think you’re going to fix it. If they want to see the grandkids, they know where you are and they know what to do. Let them know that, and then leave it, would be my advice. You can’t fix people
That’s really sad, because it’s not really her fault and not able to be helped. I guess supervised visits, short visits and timing them for whenever she’s rested and less likely to have an outburst.
Welp, I ran into a mom during a nature trail walk today who chatted with me for a minute. She organizes walks for moms and said she does it through Facebook. I checked it out, and—lo and behold—she's an independent lactation consultant. The page kept emphasizing how much it's not a health consultation but to "build community." Nahhhh. I formula fed. I don't wanna hear about how evil I am when I'm out walking. Heck, I don't want to talk with anyone unless they're talking about the flowers and mushrooms and lizards and birds.
I'm so naive. Thought I was about to make a friend who likes nature.
I'm struggling with feeding solids due to an irrational fear of choking. I've been doing purees which he doesn't really like. Decided to give him a banana spear which he seemed more receptive to when he figured out how to grab it, but when he broke a chunk off in his mouth I got scared and scooped it out. Haaalp
I made my first ever reddit account to ask this only to realize all the parenting subreddits need a certain amount of updoots to post, fuckin reddit
I'm struggling with feeding solids due to an irrational fear of choking. I've been doing purees which he doesn't really like. Decided to give him a banana spear which he seemed more receptive to when he figured out how to grab it, but when he broke a chunk off in his mouth I got scared and scooped it out. Haaalp
So you know it's irrational, but you still can't stop yourself from indulging your fears?
How old is your son?
Where has your fear come from?
Is it possible for you to share some mealtimes with a trusted friend or relative that has children and can help reassure you?
At least you recognise you need to stop this, you don't want your son to pick up on your fear and have it influence his attitude towards food and eating.
I'm struggling with feeding solids due to an irrational fear of choking. I've been doing purees which he doesn't really like. Decided to give him a banana spear which he seemed more receptive to when he figured out how to grab it, but when he broke a chunk off in his mouth I got scared and scooped it out. Haaalp
I made my first ever reddit account to ask this only to realize all the parenting subreddits need a certain amount of updoots to post, fuckin reddit
I found that going slow with things that mash easily between the fingers, cut into little cubes, helps. Also starting with puree-like foods is good, like cottage cheese, hummus, peanut butter, etc. I sit by the high chair and the feeding is pretty involved when we do solids so I can guide him. I also found snacks that dissolve are nice, like the yogurt drops or teething wafers. It gets him accustomed to solids and using his jaw but there’s very little risk of the food getting lodged in his throat because they disintegrate quickly.
Also, you’re not missing out. The Reddit parenting groups aren’t that great. Slightly better than Facebook but not by much.
Lactation consultants can be pretty wacky. I saw these two ladies when I was struggling and they insisted my 6 week old needed “bodywork” in order to latch correctly. I let them try it out because I figured it couldn’t hurt. But it basically consisted of them putting their fingers in her mouth while she screamed bloody murder lol. Never again.
Well kiwi fam, I am very unexpectedly pregnant again. 10 weeks along and I had no idea. I’ve been fighting off a gnarly sinus infection for almost a month and attributed all the symptoms to being sick. I’m so not ready for this
I'm struggling with feeding solids due to an irrational fear of choking. I've been doing purees which he doesn't really like. Decided to give him a banana spear which he seemed more receptive to when he figured out how to grab it, but when he broke a chunk off in his mouth I got scared and scooped it out. Haaalp
I made my first ever reddit account to ask this only to realize all the parenting subreddits need a certain amount of updoots to post, fuckin reddit
Sadly banana spears (and avocado slices) is as easy/non threatening as it gets for a baby, in terms of non-chocking non-pureed foods.
Usually the reason why kids aren't that interested in purees stem from the fact parents aren't eating it. While you work on your feelings I'd suggest trying to introduce some more baby-friendly meals (stews/soups/purees) in the rotation so the baby can see the whole family eats this stuff.
Also don't forget: coughing and hacking and spitting the food out might look very scary, but as long as they are making noises they aren't truly seek-immediate-help choking.
I'm struggling with feeding solids due to an irrational fear of choking. I've been doing purees which he doesn't really like. Decided to give him a banana spear which he seemed more receptive to when he figured out how to grab it, but when he broke a chunk off in his mouth I got scared and scooped it out. Haaalp
I made my first ever reddit account to ask this only to realize all the parenting subreddits need a certain amount of updoots to post, fuckin reddit
Give him small pieces. Cut up a banana small, or try him on steamed and cooked carrot or squash. Let him pick up up and shove a handful in his mouth.
He needs to get used to having food in his mouth and how to maneuver it with his tongue, plus it will be very stimulating for him.
At this age their gag-reflex is well active, you’ll notice them gag or cough at times and that’s totally fine.
I think the only time I had a choking instance with my kids was at a party, my youngest was about 3 at the time and a chunk of melon she was chewing on slipped. The way she just sort of froze bug eyed was terrifying but a good hard pat on her back dislodged it and that was that.
This sounds like a normal anxiety for early moms, or just moms of small children in general, and it’s difficult to know when you’re being protective or paranoid. But you’re not helping him by delaying these milestones. You can make it more tolerable and in your mind safer (give them a mix of soft, tiny chunks and puree, or just smaller bites that will smush down easy; familiarize yourself with exactly what to do in the event of a choking), but but also kind of get over it because this is small beans
ETA to Catto Gatto, congratulations (even though you might not be as thrilled, I still think it’s a great thing worth celebrating). I’m not sure on the age of your older child, but I got pregnant only a few months after my first so my kids are only about a year and a half apart.
Having two close in age was so much easier than watching my older sister have her own much spaced apart. They encourage each other, entertain each other, pick up lessons from each other, it was a relief a lot of the time. I also lucked out from having them be each others best friend.
I think the biggest issue I had from having two so close together was jealousy issues, and together they would go off and get into some pretty heinous mischief.
when kids are quiet is when I’m most concerned, because it either means they are seriously hurt or they are up to something
ETA to Catto Gatto, congratulations (even though you might not be as thrilled, I still think it’s a great thing worth celebrating). I’m not sure on the age of your older child, but I got pregnant only a few months after my first so my kids are only about a year and a half apart.
Thank you! That definitely makes me feel better. My daughter is 15 months and they will be just under 2 years apart. She is really happy and social so I’m hoping she’ll adjust well and that they’ll be best friends. I hate being pregnant so it’s a weird mix of feeling unprepared but also relieved I can be done sooner, because we did want 2. I’ll be doing the gender and genetic testing on Thursday, crazy that it’s happening so fast!
So you know it's irrational, but you still can't stop yourself from indulging your fears?
How old is your son?
Where has your fear come from?
Is it possible for you to share some mealtimes with a trusted friend or relative that has children and can help reassure you?
At least you recognise you need to stop this, you don't want your son to pick up on your fear and have it influence his attitude towards food and eating.
Don't wanna be specific but he's the appropriate age to start solids. No idea what caused the fear, I've had it all my life. If I just power through I can get over it, but this is particularly tough.
Something that really got my daughter to eat was putting a mirror in front of her at the table. I think it helps with sensory feedback cuz the child can watch themselves eat.
For a while I'd sit and eat with her chewing in very exaggerated motions too. Making sure to go MMMMMMM YUMMY. Lmao
I'm struggling with feeding solids due to an irrational fear of choking. I've been doing purees which he doesn't really like. Decided to give him a banana spear which he seemed more receptive to when he figured out how to grab it, but when he broke a chunk off in his mouth I got scared and scooped it out. Haaalp
The above advice was already good, but do you know how to perform First Aid/anti-choking maneuvers on small children (it's different from adults)? It helps to know that, even if the worst happens, you can still handle it.
The above advice was already good, but do you know how to perform First Aid/anti-choking maneuvers on small children (it's different from adults)? It helps to know that, even if the worst happens, you can still handle it.
I know some places off free or low cost baby/child first aid, covering choking, CPR, and other shit children like to do in their quest to die before theyre 10.
Something I haven't seen mentioned in this thread and would really appreciate some advice on baby sleep issues. I got two 5 month old twins. One will sleep thru the night with only minor attending too and while the other consistently wants to be awake at 2 in the morning. Anyone else have advice on this? Its been going on for at least 5 weeks now.
Something I haven't seen mentioned in this thread and would really appreciate some advice on baby sleep issues. I got two 5 month old twins. One will sleep thru the night with only minor attending too and while the other consistently wants to be awake at 2 in the morning. Anyone else have advice on this? Its been going on for at least 5 weeks now.
My daughter didn't really sleep through the night till about 1.5 years old. Tho I figured out pretty late that she woke up for milk out of habit and not actual necessity. As soon as I cut out the routine cup of milk in the middle of the night, she started sleeping through the night more consistently.
Idk about a 5 month old tho. My daughter went through a million sleep regressions and I was crazy sleep-deprived the first year of her life.
It is definitely a chore. As I told my wife our only saving grace right now is that these are our first so we do not know what it would be like with just one so its just normal for us. I'm more concerned with her sleep at the moment since she is not the caffeine fiend I
It is definitely a chore. As I told my wife our only saving grace right now is that these are our first so we do not know what it would be like with just one so its just normal for us. I'm more concerned with her sleep at the moment since she is not the caffeine fiend I
I dont suppose you discovered any tricks that even marginally helped her or your own sanity?
we struggled to get our little guy to want to fall asleep at bed time and we learned to always end the night reading the same book and maintaining a routine. So we’ll read two books before bed, the first can be whatever but the second one will always be Goodnight Moon. It sounds crazy but it actually worked for us. Then when he goes to bed I’ll put on some soft classical music and have the lights dimmed. Also, change their diapers first. That way they’ll still be sleepy from the stories and final bottle of the night without being woken back up with a diaper change.
So our order is bath>diaper>pajamas>feed>bedtime stories>sleep
Tough it out. Keep taking prenatal multivitamins. Drink lots of water. Remember it doesn't last forever. It's ok to think it sucks. Some women go through hormonal effects of postpartum for years so remind her that it's not her fault nor a moral failing if she still feels blah most of the time. Do not compare yourself to ppl online because people be lying.
