Meeting people & loneliness epidemic

[estacks]

156158656.mp4

LOL your fucked up lifestyle and poor choices will kill you inside and you're going to suffer the rest of your life. Sucks to suck!

 

[Ser Prize]

This topic seems to come up fairly often now. Personally I believe the main issue is a lack of physical social hubs.

It's digitization. In previous eras all the chatting with your bros would be done in person, usually in a pub or something. A place that naturally lends itself to socialization.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

1. You’ll be less squirrelly if you stop thinking about yourself so much.

2. It’s an old truism everyone is sick of but it’s still true: Doing something to help someone else will do even more for you than for them.

3. The best way to meet people is to do something unrelated to meeting people (ie “come make friends” events aren’t really ideal) but instead related to something you’re genuinely interested in.

4. Since it sounds like you’re early in your career, beyond your baseline interest you could get a lot out of volunteering for charities relevant to your passions — because many charities are magnets for successful, connected people of means.

5. Always remember it’s not all about you. Ask yourself “How can I use my experiences to help others?” and then do it. This will keep you in a mindset of growth and connectedness to others, rather than bemoaning the state of the world while confining your sphere of influence to the randos you meet playing video games.

 

[leontocephaline]

1. You’ll be less squirrelly if you stop thinking about yourself so much.

2. It’s an old truism everyone is sick of but it’s still true: Doing something to help someone else will do even more for you than for them.

3. The best way to meet people is to do something unrelated to meeting people (ie “come make friends” events aren’t really ideal) but instead related to something you’re genuinely interested in.

4. Since it sounds like you’re early in your career, beyond your baseline interest you could get a lot out of volunteering for charities relevant to your passions — because many charities are magnets for successful, connected people of means.

5. Always remember it’s not all about you. Ask yourself “How can I use my experiences to help others?” and then do it. This will keep you in a mindset of growth and connectedness to others, rather than bemoaning the state of the world while confining your sphere of influence to the randos you meet playing video games.

Completely agree on all points and that's how I've been living for as long as I can remember. I don't think about myself too much, and I never think anything is 'just about me', and I do receive deep fulfillment from helping others. In fact I think generosity and teamwork are the ultimate highest forms of selfishness in some sense - it's the game theoretic equilibrium that yields everyone in sum more than any individual / parasitic selfish act ever could, and unlocks compounding growth on top of that. You just need to be in a high trust environment with likeminded people. Low IQ parasites that don't understand this are the only demographic I want to avoid. Nowhere did I imply anything otherwise and it's fascinating to see people project the parts they hate about themselves onto this thread.

The topic was simply about venues and activities to find environments like this. And honestly sports, certain kinds of volunteering, specific hobby groups are great suggestions. In light of this I just started one of these things yesterday and already having fun. Also realized I wish it was more common to socialize at the gym - everyone there is trying to improve themselves in one way or another; it's a great baseline filter for good qualities.

 

[Leylon Sneed]

If you're in a new place.. have you spoken to your neighbors? Talked to people you see on a regular basis?
These may not be the caliber of person you want to be friends with, but it's a good way to open doors.
Coworkers that you like can be another way to the same end. Not that you are going to be best friends forever but you might get out a little more. You mentioned fitness, do you have a gym membership and a fairly regular schedule? Talk to some of them.
Lastly maybe go to church.. I'm an atheist but I've met a lot of good people because I was bored on Sundays and went to a sermon just for something to do.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

Just find a pub or bar and go there on the regular at the same time on the same days. Thats how men after a certain age make friends.

What if you're an alcoholic personality?

I've entertained the idea of myself going to sports bars to eat dinner and try to get into watching mandingoball.

 

[YHWH's Strongest Soldier]

What if you're an alcoholic personality?

I've entertained the idea of myself going to sports bars to eat dinner and try to get into watching mandingoball.

It's the Anglo-Saxon way. Embrace your heritage and genetic destiny.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

DUDE i just LOVE the hustle and bustle of the big city, it’s so DYNAMIC and makes me feel like i’m in one of my favourite TV SHOWS.

Unironically how party girls have lived for decades. They'll do any and all things to live 'in the now'. LA, your capital, anything not close to home and hearth. But a dude engages in the same behavior and it's considered chud-like and dishonorable.

3. The best way to meet people is to do something unrelated to meeting people (ie “come make friends” events aren’t really ideal) but instead related to something you’re genuinely interested in.

"Hit the gym bro youll make so many friends and drown in pussy bro you just gotta change your entire lifestyle". People only do things to meet people at this point. If you actually enjoyed ie. a sport, you'd be doing it regardless of whether anyone else gave a shit.

4. Since it sounds like you’re early in your career, beyond your baseline interest you could get a lot out of volunteering for charities relevant to your passions — because many charities are magnets for successful, connected people of means.

People with friends, family and careers don't do charitable shit. It's like going to a 'make friends' convention; who'd be there but the friendless? Nobody with 8 active friends in their life would need to pursue any more. Jobs, dating, networking, friendships. If you're not already in, you'll have to break your back to get a foot into what other people already have - unless they're zoomers cause they're even more doomed than the previous generations.

 

[PaleTay]

I do think this is going to be a struggle with the increasing amount of mediocre people. Not in the sense of people having too high of standards, but there's so few people who push themselves to be better.

I do think a bigger problem than "hustle culture" is "loser culture" where people are intimidated by those who want to do more with their lives than get fat and watch tv, and try to drag them down.

 

[Squanto Airi]

I do think this is going to be a struggle with the increasing amount of mediocre people. Not in the sense of people having too high of standards, but there's so few people who push themselves to be better.

I do think a bigger problem than "hustle culture" is "loser culture" where people are intimidated by those who want to do more with their lives than get fat and watch tv, and try to drag them down.

I'd say the lowered standards of mediocrity as well.

 

[soup peddler]

TL;DR move to the bughives, it's where everyone you're looking for went.

Depressing, but there's some truth here. Unfortunately, large cities are just too depressing, dirty, and low-trust to raise a family. The answer is to find someone to marry, then GTFO. Having some friends is nice, but who needs to spend all their time fucking around doing the same shit? It gets old, and there are lots of rural areas where the commute to socialize in a small city is comparable to the time it takes to travel from one part of a large city to another.

 

[Sweetpeaa]

I feel like this is really an issue for late adolescents. Between the ages of 19-22 is literally the saddest loneliness time for a lot of people.

You leave high school and lose most of your friend group. You realize friends are much harder to make in the real world. It also dawns on you that you're not entitled to food, water, shelter or love in adult society. It's devastating for a lot of people this age to realize this. It hits them like a truck.

As for the incels some of these guys might have been able to gets a few dates in high school but won't have such luck outside of it in the adult world. It's the same for socially awkward people who might have had maybe 1 to 2 friends with fellow awkward shy people in their high school but fail to establish anything at all with people after it.

I don't have a solution for this problem but it does get better with age. You will find the older you get the less you will need people as a "rock".

 

[SOLDIER OF WALES]

1. You’ll be less squirrelly if you stop thinking about yourself so much.

2. It’s an old truism everyone is sick of but it’s still true: Doing something to help someone else will do even more for you than for them.

3. The best way to meet people is to do something unrelated to meeting people (ie “come make friends” events aren’t really ideal) but instead related to something you’re genuinely interested in.

4. Since it sounds like you’re early in your career, beyond your baseline interest you could get a lot out of volunteering for charities relevant to your passions — because many charities are magnets for successful, connected people of means.

5. Always remember it’s not all about you. Ask yourself “How can I use my experiences to help others?” and then do it. This will keep you in a mindset of growth and connectedness to others, rather than bemoaning the state of the world while confining your sphere of influence to the randos you meet playing video games.

This is what i am finding out. All the money in the world is nothing if you have nobody to share it with. Life is about serving others, not FUCKIN SLUTZ and living in a mansion alone with super cars.

Some of the above can even come from serving others- I got my last girlfriend by being very kind to her and being interested in her passions/interests - I didn’t go over like Chad thundercock and ask her if she wanted to find out if I could make her squirt, I was nice to her and only had to do the most minimal amount of flirting so she knew I was on the market, and I wasn’t even actively looking either.

 

[Slap47]

I feel like this is really an issue for late adolescents. Between the ages of 19-22 is literally the saddest loneliness time for a lot of people.

This may be a uniquely North American problem due to the kicked out at 18 idea that dominates society. Even if you do not leave at that age you are still perceived as an unwanted burden ( even regardless of the wishes of your family).

 

[VMM_]

This may be a uniquely North American problem due to the kicked out at 18 idea that dominates society. Even if you do not leave at that age you are still perceived as an unwanted burden ( even regardless of the wishes of your family).

It mostly comes from English individualism, which Americans naturally adopted. During the high medieval ages you had people moving out as early as 9-10 years old for work in England.

 

[California Newt]

I think it's a bigger problem of people not taking the initiative to make their own spaces. Finding people over long distances (through newspapers) and coming together to form voluntary organizations has been the American lifeblood since Alexis de Tocqueville pointed it out right after the country came to be.

Now, we have a giant instanteneous electronic global super-newspaper. It's just a matter of cultivating communities in tighter and tighter circles with your same passions and pursuits. If furries, weebs, and bronies can figure it out, you can too. Also it might be a good idea to pick up "Robert's Rules of Order in Brief".

Lastly maybe go to church.. I'm an atheist but I've met a lot of good people because I was bored on Sundays and went to a sermon just for something to do.

This is also a really good idea. The more traditional ones are getting a lot of converts, and a lot of those guys are looking for friends (and many tend to be pretty interesting).

 

[Raven of the Burning God]

There are many other factors making things difficult - like the disappearing of third spaces, masculinity crisis, the loss of male rites of passage and so on but I leave that for discussion.

This dense salad of agitprop buzzterms gives the impression this is a COINTELPOST and should not be taken seriously.

 

[Xavier Renegade Angel]

Fuck everyone, except those on the farms of course. Fuck normies in general for being dumb. Is most of it bc i have apergers. Duh! But living in the hood as a nonblack has taught me to at least have something to be happy of. Not being black

 

[Sooty Soot]

Move to India.
You are much more likely to meet more people outside in India due to higher population density and thus much more likely to make friends of good character.
Plus you get to indulge in the rich culture.

 

[Sweetpeaa]

This may be a uniquely North American problem due to the kicked out at 18 idea that dominates society. Even if you do not leave at that age you are still perceived as an unwanted burden ( even regardless of the wishes of your family).

I think you're right sadly.