💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[HackerX]

Lucas just likes to take anything to try to smack someone down.

Well, technically it's anything other people have that he doesn't. Which is everything, ofc.

For the middle class and rich, we don't care, poh 20 more a month? Doesn't even make a dent in my wallet or my life plans Lucas "working man"

This is one of those things that Lucas does that irritates me more than most. It's a combination of him just squawking whatever tagline or meme that he's come across, regardless of whether it's true or not, and his complete lack of personal context to tether things to himself. When it all really comes down to everything Lucas likes is good, and everything Lucas doesn't like is bad. Simple as that.

Speaking of that now's a good time to point out, Lucas sexually abused a child and his mother covered it up.

You mean this woman.

Looks crazy. Enhance.

Ahh, the patented Grigsby/Werner smile. I hope it tortures Myrna to know that Lucas inherited her deranged smile so completely.

Last I want to point out, my history is a bit fuzzy but I think we lost friendship with the homie Jamie when he beat Lucas in a board game. He can not STAND not being right and or winning.

IIRC, the last time we heard about Jamie was some family member's post on Facebook seeking his whereabouts. Which makes you think... Did Lucas kill him?????

I wonder who played with him, a troll or a slow in the mind? Since he said from Texas I assume a buddy troll.

The only reason to doubt it's a buddy troll is I couldn't envision one severing the relationship over a board game argument. IMO, that would make them commit even more to the bit since it's a front row seat to Lucas chimping out. However, it's entirely reasonable to believe Lucas was the one who severed it when the dude was either joking about Lucas randomly changing the rules when he's losing, or Lucas got so mad that his retarded brain couldn't wrangle out a random rule to save him that he just cut off contact after ragequitting.


In other news, Dr. Nigga has been pretty quiet today. Only one Facebook post. I'll just assume he's fist deep in one of his incomprhensible board games.

Firstly, Dr. Nigga. So what? You've got a habit (understatement of the year) of posting shit that doesn't lead to a point. Are you saying the class war is bullshit? That there should be a culture war and class war?

Secondly, the culture war and class war might as well he synonymous to him. He doesn't know the difference, much less know what either even is. It's hilarious when you consider he moo moo moos about classicm and classicst bigots being the reason zoomer baes don't flock to him, but you could just as easily reframe it as a culture thing though Lucas doesn't comprehend such nuance. Or anything else really. (He's retarded.)

 

[Disgruntled Pupper]

You mean this woman.

What in the FUCK are those tattoos? I didn't know his mom had tattoos let alone that they really were terrible! What's she a skinhead at some point?

 

[HackerX]

What in the FUCK are those tattoos? I didn't know his mom had tattoos let alone that they really were terrible! What's she a skinhead at some point?

Well, Dr. Nigga did moo about Myrna giving roadhead to niggers in the Carolinas for civil rights or something like that. Rly makes u think...

 

[Twrx]

What in the FUCK are those tattoos? I didn't know his mom had tattoos let alone that they really were terrible! What's she a skinhead at some point?

I've seen stick and pokes that look better. And I'm not talking classical Japanese with the wooden mallet, I mean some rando in a house handing them out with shitty ink and hammer.

 

[OopUntilYouVibe]

Myrna’s smile is fucking nightmare fuel and those tattoos, my god. She probably got that whole arm (she definitely calls it a sleeve) done in Mexico for $150 USD.

I remember seeing Lucas at some point asking the internet if he should get tattoos (to lure a zoomer bae of course) as if he could ever afford even one.



Found it. Yeahhh ok.. Shut up you fuckin pussy.

Also.. I think Jamie died, didn’t he? He at least was missing and someone commented on a Lucas post trying to find him.

 

[WonderWino]

If the government doesn't exist to give me stuff it shouldn't exist at all!

How greedy of lucas. Just the attitude I expected from him

 

[Blasterisk]

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If the government doesn't exist to give me stuff it shouldn't exist at all!

How greedy of lucas. Just the attitude I expected from him

He's actually right, but for reasons other than what he thinks. I am perpetually amused by lolcows stumbling into the truth from ridiculous angles.

 

[Bassomatic]

Yeah, Jamie walked off Mallon and probably died. Shows the quality of Mallon but I mean Lucas stopped talking to him after he beat Lucas in his made up game.

Myrna just looks like someone you want to hit with a shovel over and over. Then you know she birthed Lucas and that instinct was right.

 

[HackerX]

IVer archivo adjunto 9047009f the government doesn't exist to give me stuff it shouldn't exist at all!

How greedy of lucas. Just the attitude I expected from him

This sped says this while the government has taken care of his every basic need (and then some) his entire life. It really makes you wonder if he's legitimately unaware of that fact, or if he simply tacitly ignores it because it's inconvenient for the moo. I legitimately don't know. Lucas is absolutely retarded enough for it to be the former, but he's also such a braindead, wannabe Machiavellian manipulator that the latter could also be true.

Like, I want to hear his explanation for why/how his shelter, food/water, healthcare, and monthly gibs is provided to him. It'll either be an entitled one like "I deserve it", or he'll legitimately not know. Probably since it falls into one of Lucas's infamous logic gaps, where he just can't confront that gap for whatever reason.

 

[HackerX]

Doublepost due to no longer being able to edit:

Only 1 Facebook post yesterday, and two total over the last two days. Who knows what the sped is up to...

Are people even losing their homes? I mean, it doesn't really matter since none of this even applies to Lucas.

Ruh roh, I think I found out what Dr. Nigga has been up to from Tiktok.

The real question is what spawned this? Internet trolls? Voices on the wind? Either way, I'm beginning to suspect Lucas might be a homosexual. Oh? You're telling me Lucas has sucked another man off too? He's definitely gay.

Gay gay gay gay gay. Lucas is so gay and everyone knows this. The truly interesting is how he wrestles with his blatant homosexuality within his defective mind because there's clearly an internal of some sort. Like, he definitely tries repressing his fag urges, but they always seem to make their way out every once in a while. Lucas has no idea that posting this shit does nothing except inform everyone else Lucas is gay, but that applies to everything he posts.

That's one of the most fascinating thing about gold ol' Dr. Nigga, TBH. He's a projection of himself in the most fundamental sense. Everything he shares with the world is basically a window into his fragmented mind, and all that's necessary to see Lucas through that projection is understand just how retarded and irrational his broken brain really is.

I know I've stated this a zillion times, and I'll state it a zillion more times. A team of psychiatrists, therapist, neurologists, and related professionals need to comprehensively research and study this sped while there's still time. He's basically the most transparent human (allegedly) ever, and there's plenty of insight to draw from how Lucas thinks or understands the world. Which can then be extrapolated and applied to their associated fields for normal, sane humans.

Jesus. Lucas is thinking about fucking farm animals now. Again, WTF spawned this? External actors or, God forbid, the voices on the wind? Neither is great, but the latter is much more concerning for obvious reasons.

 

[Stinkyboy]

Goats... could these be his other girlfriends he keeps talking about?

 

[WonderWino]

Goats... could these be his other girlfriends he keeps talking about?

Clearly lucas was convinced to read animal farm recently and learned all the wrong lessons from it, to put it mildly

Lucas's new official theme song:

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Clearly lucas was convinced to read animal farm recently and learned all the wrong lessons from it, to put it mildly

Lucas's new official theme song:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=PZuHAsf6qO0

I'm snort-laughing over this.
Best Bon impersonation I've heard.

 

[WonderWino]

Remember when lucas said there would be no tariff refunds?

Well, about that...

 

[HackerX]

Clearly lucas was convinced to read animal farm recently and learned all the wrong lessons from it, to put it mildly

Not unlikely. It's topical considering the apparently shitty movie that just came out, and Myrna's smart lil' baby boy definitely fancies himself as an intellectual. Ofc, every theme from the book would go right over his fat head and he'd just start obsessing over bacon or some shit.

However, that does beg the question. What lesson(s) would Dr. Nigga even derive from that book? It'd obviously be retarded, but I'm not convinced he'd understand anything beyond the surface level, if that. He'd probably think the entire thing is just a literal farm with animals that can talk.

Remember when lucas said there would be no tariff refunds?

Well, about that...

TBF, Lucas's understanding of politics/economics only extends to the headline of highly biased articles or Facebook posts, at best. He's probably already forgotten he's mooed about tarrifs, nor do I believe he even understands the concept, theory, or practical applications of tarrifs.


Moo moo moo. More science shit he pretends to understand, when he almost certainly thinks Kelvin is a flatbill bigot who's having zoomer orgies behind the corners of every room Lucas is in.

Wasn't this supposed to be the retard's schizofrenic language? What happened to Meepocalypse, or every other incoherent board game you've conjured, for that matter?

Comment from Lucas's goat-fucking TT post:

Dr. Nigga? How did this 'hypothetical' enter your dysfunctional mind in the first place, and why, for the love of god, did you feel the need to ask the question?

 

[IceQueen]

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Considering how fucked his kidneys are thats a real bad idea. Not to mention considering he claims large amounts of caffeine are responsible for his most public and well known chimpout he shouldn't even be allowed anywhere near any energy drinks

This is textbook autism shit and fucked up even by lucas standards

I love energy drinks and I love ice cream. People know me as the Red Bull Queen. And yet even to me, that concoction looks fucking revolting.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Yeah, Jamie walked off Mallon and probably died.

My man would rather wander off and die in the Spokane winter than spend another day living with The Wern.

Seriously though, I feel infinitely more sympathy for the random speds in Lucas's life than I do Lucas.

Wasn't this supposed to be the retard's schizofrenic language? What happened to Meepocalypse, or every other incoherent board game you've conjured, for that matter?

He's going through new schizo game concepts almost daily now.

Jesus. Lucas is thinking about fucking farm animals now. Again, WTF spawned this?

Replace "goat" with "teenage girl" and you have obvious Lucas questions.

Firstly, Dr. Nigga. So what? You've got a habit (understatement of the year) of posting shit that doesn't lead to a point. Are you saying the class war is bullshit? That there should be a culture war and class war?

Strange meme coming from the guy who wants us all to know the plight of the victims of agephobia while ignoring the fact he pays no taxes and we all pay to feed him.

Actually that raises a good question...
Does Lucas think Mallon Place getting his tardbux is what "taxes" are?

 

[HackerX]

I love energy drinks and I love ice cream. People know me as the Red Bull Queen. And yet even to me, that concoction looks fucking revolting.

Oh? Does this latest Facebook post get you all not and bothered, my queen?

My man would rather wander off and die in the Spokane winter than spend another day living with The Wern.

Can't say I blame the dude. If listening to Lucas moo about shit he clearly doesn't understand (i.e., anything and everything) wasn't bad enough, imagine the hellish experience that is Lucas explaining his incomprehensible board games. Which brings me to..

He's going through new schizo game concepts almost daily now.

I truly wonder how Lucas goes should rules, in the most relative sense, of his board games. Not just creating them, but keeping track of them. I can't help but imagine he's making them up as he goes, within the isolated vacuum of each time he plays a 'game' of his. It's just so easy to envision Lucas getting frustrated while he's playing because he's constantly establishing a completely new and separate set of schizofrenic rules each and every time he plays a game.

Speaking of which, another FB post:

Are there any avid tabletop or board game players in the thread? I'm asking because I'm curious as to what level of incoherence Lucas's schizofrenic and arbitrary rules are whenever he begins explaining them. Like, I assume they're always nonsensical as a default, but admittedly, I'm not particularly familiar with the terminology/phrases/lingo/etc.

Actually that raises a good question...
Does Lucas think Mallon Place getting his tardbux is what "taxes" are?

IDK, but I do know Lucas has moo'd about how him receiving gibs and tardbux makes him a "job creator". Therefore, zoomer baes are supposed to fuck him, or something like that.

 

[not in the cards]

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If the government doesn't exist to give me stuff it shouldn't exist at all!

How greedy of lucas. Just the attitude I expected from him

Lucas is only interested about himself. His interactions with people are completely transactional with him providing little to no effort on his end due to his laziness. Remember, this is the same dickhead that doesn't want women as friends, he only approaches them because he wants to fuck them. That's it. And if they won't fuck him, he'd rather not be friends with them. In his tiny, entitled mind he thinks that the government shouldn't exist because it's not giving him enough.

 

[Kingfisher9000]

Are there any avid tabletop or board game players in the thread? I'm asking because I'm curious as to what level of incoherence Lucas's schizofrenic and arbitrary rules are whenever he begins explaining them. Like, I assume they're always nonsensical as a default, but admittedly, I'm not particularly familiar with the terminology/phrases/lingo/etc.

It’s not the terminology causing the confusion, Lucas is just fucking terrible at explaining things. He always explains his rules in one long run-on sentence, so even if there is something coherent it’s impossible to parse it out. If he’d ever read a rulebook he’d realize you explain rules in steps. For example:

1. Place tiles (he doesn’t explain how this is done, so idk)
2. Move 1-4 spaces along the road
3. If you land adjacent to another meeple, you battle them.
4. Add up the value of your tile (2 points per dot, 1 point per line)
5. If your value is higher, you win the battle and capture their meeple.

That’s essentially what he’s describing I think. This is a game where you lay tiles to make a path, then fight other players (by doing simple addition) when you land next to them. It would probably function, at the very least, but it sounds fucking BORING. That’s a trend I’ve noticed with his games. The ones that seem the most playable are always extremely simplistic and would be immensely dull.

EDIT: Now that I’m more awake, this game is actually just stupid as hell. The shapes on the tiles are pointless, they could just be numbers instead. Why should I add 2 dots and 2 lines together to make 6 when he could just put 6 on the tile? It’s just an extra step for no reason.