💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

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OopUntilYouVibe dijo:
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What a fat fucking pig. The gas station sushi special. Is that a whole fuckin bag of crispy onions on top? Some sriracha mayo and honey garlic sauce maybe?? My god
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Its shit like this that eliminates any doubt on my end that lucas is at least mildly autistic. This is textbook austim food behavior. Its not normal at all, let alone something any normal person would think is a good idea to post pictures of and brag about publicly

Hell that isn't even sushi. Its shitty ingredients that aren't even used in real sushi then doused in all kinds of shit sauces to hide the fact that they are garbage. which lucas then adds more sauces and whatever the fuck the rest of that shit is to. If he did this on an actual date he'd get looked at like hes some kind of retarded child in an actual special needs care home. He'd be lucky if he didn't get flat out laughed at and called a nutcase and we all know how that would end. He'd chimp right the fuck out and get himself into trouble

Lucas has never eaten real sushi in his entire life. He goes to the shittiest places and orders whatever has the most sauces on it, usually that maple syrup shit and spicy mayo and thinks he's living the high life. Restaurants put that on the menu to A) rip off idiot customers who don't know better, B) to provide something people who don't want raw fish to eat and C) to provide some overly sweet garbage that kids will eat when their parents go out for sushi

I also wonder if, given lucas's age and tendenecy to not understand change and to be living in the past, if lucas is still stuck in his childhood in the 80s when sushi was a fairly new and very expensive thing that was something alot of people made a point of showing off. Thats not really a thing anymore as its common and not exotic or as expensive it was back in the day. Lucas being lucas I could absolutely see not understanding things have changed and still thinks showing off even the shittiest garbage 'sushi' will draw in little girls that will totally think he's mature, refined and eats high end food. It certainly fits with his history and tendency to be manipulative with this kind of shit
 
1000% agree. The only “sushi” Lucas’ autistic faggot ass loves is the imitation crab california rolls from the grocery store smothered in sauce and whatever the fuck else. I’d bet my life that he loves to chow down on the gas station shit too, as a treat.. He probably thinks the texture of raw fish is yucky like a young child. I did a quick “Lucas Werner sushi” search on FB and confirmed as much lmao. IMG_7696.jpeg
2009. Hearts of romaine were his favorite vegetable! I wonder wtf he was doing with them
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15 years later! Literally confirms he hates real sushi hahaha.

Unrelated but I’ve been playing Baldur’s Gate 3 lately and I found a place where you can dig up “Myrna”’s grave and you get a fucking dog collar lmao
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SaltyAtlantaSourPeach dijo:
OH FUCK THIS ASSHAT LIVES RIGHT NEXT TO ME FUUUUUCK
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Come on now, it's very rude of you ignoring your own thread.
Please come and join the convo otherwise WE will tell Luke there is hot 25 years old Gen Z girl ready to have sex with him at your address.
 
Big Nasty dijo:
The sushi thing is an excellent example of Lucas mind being stuck somewhere around 30-35 years ago. What else is there?
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He still thinks Kurt Cobain is relevant or cool.
I have to admit despite being a bit of a food snob I just don't like sushi or most fish. I'm a oyster and mussels guy. But it's funny that it stands out as such crap. You don't have to be a foody to spot trash.

Also as always matched up with new month he goes out to gorge. Then comes the food bank mashups.
 
The Voices on the Wind told me I'm a fat faggot and I should eat some vegetables before my kidneys seize up.

So I made ramen with ceasar dressing and alfredo sauce to show those damn voices that I'm in control and my diet is plenty good.
 
The Garden dijo:
For fucks sake, Lucas. Just buy a salt lick at this rate. It would be cheaper.
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I can see it now - king roy setting out a few salt licks and bags of apples and looks out the window half an hour later and sees lucas hunched over stuffing his face with apples and licking the salt lick while farting and making bizarre grunting sounds until king roy picks up a nearby broom, walks over and beats lucas with it repeatedly while firmly reminding him how many times he's warned him to stay away from the elk and deer food before telling him to get the fuck back in the house or he won't be allowed to use the ranch dressing for a week and will be put back in his chains in the basement and fed only on a bucket of old fish heads
 
OopUntilYouVibe dijo:
Ver archivo adjunto 9088899
What a fat fucking pig. The gas station sushi special. Is that a whole fuckin bag of crispy onions on top? Some sriracha mayo and honey garlic sauce maybe?? My god
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Nice plate lmao.
WonderWino dijo:
I can see it now - king roy setting out a few salt licks and bags of apples and looks out the window half an hour later and sees lucas hunched over stuffing his face with apples and licking the salt lick while farting and making bizarre grunting sounds until king roy picks up a nearby broom, walks over and beats lucas with it repeatedly while firmly reminding him how many times he's warned him to stay away from the elk and deer food before telling him to get the fuck back in the house or he won't be allowed to use the ranch dressing for a week and will be put back in his chains in the basement and fed only on a bucket of old fish heads
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King Roy wakes up to strange noises. Grabs his 12 gauge and peers out the window. Theres a sasquatch looking thing feeding on a deer. Third time this month.

Roy silently creeps out the side door, and approaches. This thing is chewing like the first zombie from the first resident evil.

He takes aim, and trips as he shoots. The monster howls and starts waddling away. King ejects the spent shells and takes pursuit, slowly....

To be continued
 
Overwritten Tapes dijo:
Nice plate lmao.

King Roy wakes up to strange noises. Grabs his 12 gauge and peers out the window. Theres a sasquatch looking thing feeding on a deer. Third time this month.

Roy silently creeps out the side door, and approaches. This thing is chewing like the first zombie from the first resident evil.

He takes aim, and trips as he shoots. The monster howls and starts waddling away. King ejects the spent shells and takes pursuit, slowly....

To be continued
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For some reason reading that made me immediately think it would go alot more like this:
Just replace the werewolf with the wernsquatch and have king roy going to check on who is trying to steal weed plants out of his greenhouse. Afterwards clearly the wernsquatch scurries off into the woods with a big bag of weed to celebrate his big brained plan to get his inheritence from king roy

Just imagine the abject horror that would be going through king roys mind when lucas tears up through the floor of the greenhouse to grab him
 
OopUntilYouVibe dijo:
“Simple lunch of chicken ramen with creamy Caesar dressing, Alfredo sauce, rosemary and thyme.” is a sentence I am sure no one has ever said in human history.
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On that note, unsurprisingly googles ai appears to be as retarded and autistic as lucas is:
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Nobody does that shit, its making shit up again

EDIT:
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Thats fucking disgusting. It looks like something a cat puked up. Yet another example of something an autistic 8 year old would come up with
Also lucas's post was literally the first search result, which only confirms this is a lucas specific bit of insanity
 
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so a MD 20/20 ad popped up for me on youtube and I was foolish enough to follow that rabbit hole for a bit and came up with some....interesting videos:

Sounds about right. The 'kool aid mans sweat if he was running a meth lab' comment was hilarious but I almost spit out my coffee when he said it was 'very popular with the college kids, draws them in with all the colors' seeing how much that sounds like the actual reason lucas used to advertise drinking that shit

This was just bizarre

Also immediately reminded me of lucas. The best part is they are all flatbill wearing wiggers. I could definitely see lucas licking it off of a penguin as well. and who the fuck knows what else. He probably dipped cheese or chicken wings in that shit

The best part is lucas really does think showing off drinking that literal bumwine makes him look refined and sophisticated

and for honorable mention:
Even lucas couldn't chug that garbage the way he did. That guy must have worse tastebuds than lucas
 
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Jesus fucking christ

It looks like he put shriveled up, burned hotdogs on a plate and then blew his load all over them. and of course he would put ranch fucking dressing on it. What is it with lucas and ranch? At this point I wouldn't be surprised if you could convince lucas to suck troon cock if you convinced him it would taste like ranch dressing
 
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