Jurassic Park/World megathread - Spared no expense.

[Kari Kamiya]

except for the fucking dragons.

Imagine fucking up dragons. How in the world did they fuck up the idea of dragons?

 

[Guyspleasedontfight]

Big rexy needed more screen time. He was an absolute unit. I wish he had eaten the stupid zoomer. Also does anyone find it a bit far fetched that the spinos would work with the mosasaurus?

 

[Cpl. Long Dong Silver]

Imagine fucking up dragons. How in the world did they fuck up the idea of dragons?

Imagine Dragons

 

[DapperShark]

Big rexy needed more screen time. He was an absolute unit. I wish he had eaten the stupid zoomer. Also does anyone find it a bit far fetched that the spinos would work with the mosasaurus?

Yeah that was retarded, in that situation an animal as big as a Mosasaur would've been targetting the Spinos not the tiny humans.

 

[Owen Grady]

I heard that the Mutadons replaced the Raptors and I have no fucking idea why they would do that when the Raptor design for this movie was actually peak.

I don’t know if it was intentional or not but the scene where the Mutadon swoops down and tears up the Velociraptors while they’re attempting to stalk wacky zoomer boyfriend came across to me like an immense middle finger to audiences in the same way the Spinosaurus snapping the T. rex’s neck was in Jurassic Park III.

“You like raptors? Want raptors in your movie? Too bad! This is your new favorite dinosaur now!”

 

[draggs]

And hey, speaking of, please explain to me how the T-Rex was trapped in the hold of the ship but somehow got out, killed the pilot of the ship (severed hand hanging from the ship's wheel) inside of a tiny cockpit without destroying or damaging the cockpit... and then got locked in the hold again, only to be released once the ship got to land. Did it get out of the hold, somehow delicately insert its head into the cockpit door and kill the pilot, and then get back into the hold? How? Why?

The answer is they cut out scenes showing the ship also originally had (IIRC) T-Rex young on board, and they just overlooked the huge plot hole because even Spielberg didn't give a fuck about this movie. The Lost World is straight doodoo.

Originally raptors were also going to be brought back on the ship, get loose, and kill the crew. There were going to be scenes of raptors running around a mall massacring people. They cut that out but like happens in so many movies, stuff that was cut still has elements of it appearing in the final cut because producers and directors are LAZY

 

[Guyspleasedontfight]

Originally raptors were also going to be brought back on the ship, get loose, and kill the crew. There were going to be scenes of raptors running around a mall massacring people. They cut that out but like happens in so many movies, stuff that was cut still has elements of it appearing in the final cut because producers and directors are LAZY

Bro that sounds so awesome. I was watching the lost world before work and the long grass scene with the raptors is still awesome and creepy. Raptors being let loose in a crowd sounds chotic and terrifying. Of course it didn’t make it into the movie

 

[DapperShark]

Unleashing dinosaurs on the non White continents would be great population control.

We should give them India, the climate would be great for them and it would be interesting to see if Raptors can outcompete the venerable locomotive and establish themselves as the top predators of Pajeets.

 

[Agarathium1066]

Originally raptors were also going to be brought back on the ship, get loose, and kill the crew. There were going to be scenes of raptors running around a mall massacring people. They cut that out but like happens in so many movies, stuff that was cut still has elements of it appearing in the final cut because producers and directors are LAZY

It was meant to be what I think was a reference to the compies escaping onto the mainland in the book. Some hopped onto a ship, got out, and ate a baby.

Raptors wreaking havoc in a mall would have been amazing and would've made the entire ghost ship thing more sensible.

 

[draggs]

It was meant to be what I think was a reference to the compies escaping onto the mainland in the book. Some hopped onto a ship, got out, and ate a baby.

Raptors wreaking havoc in a mall would have been amazing and would've made the entire ghost ship thing more sensible.

Yeah, a compy kills a baby on the mainland at the very start of the first book. Compys also attack a little girl American tourist on the mainland, which they took and adapted as rich family lands on Isla Sorna and their daughter gets attacked by compys for the start of The Lost World movie. There are also juvenile raptors that get on to the supply ship in the first book, but they're found and killed before it reaches the mainland

 

[That Chris Guy]

Also does anyone find it a bit far fetched that the spinos would work with the mosasaurus?

Wouldn't be the first time they had retarded animal cooperation. Both Jurassic World and Dominion had apex predators working together to smack down a larger enemy.

The only good extra bits to come off the original movie are the video games, more specifically the park management sims.

 

[Mac Monster]

The D-Rex really didn't do shit and I definitely thought some dinosaurs like the T-Rex and Spino would get more screentime than they ended up getting.

I'm honestly shocked that there wasn't a big, stupid fight scene at the end of the movie between the D-rex and one of the other giant theropods.

 

[Tasty Tatty]

We can't have people gunning down the dinos because the movie doesn't really portrays them as the "bad guys" but rather victims of their own situation. When Lex calls them "monsters", Dr. Grant immediately says they are just animals doing what they are meant to do. In the case of the T-Rexes or the raptors, at least in this universe, they're top predators that hunt constantly. They kill humans because they're eating them. Only the Indo-Rex has been shown with some sort of "malice" and we're told she's not an actual dinosaur, but some hybrid that doesn't know what's her role.

So, realistically, humans with guns could quickly kill the dinosaurs and end any threat, but the dinos in JP are simply more characters.

 

[That Chris Guy]

I'm honestly shocked that there wasn't a big, stupid fight scene at the end of the movie between the D-rex and one of the other giant theropods.

Oh that's in the sequel, where we find out it can spontaneously mutate and it grows a giant frill. It picks up the Giganotosaurus with its six arms and breaks its back over its knee Bane style.

 

[Halmaz]

Lost World the book sucked.

It really shows Crichton was coaxed into writing it. I know a lot of people shit on Jurassic Park 2, but given how sloppy the second book was, Spielberg and his team had very little to work with and had to almost completely rewrite the script and introduce new plot elements. I think they did an OK job overall. Imagine if they adapted the book beat by beat, most of the scenes would have taken place on that fucking high-stand.

 

[Mayor Cody Travers]

It really shows Crichton was coaxed into writing it. I know a lot of people shit on Jurassic Park 2, but given how sloppy the second book was, Spielberg and his team had very little to work with and had to almost completely rewrite the script and introduce new plot elements. I think they did an OK job overall. Imagine if they adapted the book beat by beat, most of the scenes would have taken place on that fucking high-stand.

Glad I'm not the only one who noticed. I found the buildup to the actual adventure the most entertaining part of the book if anything.

 

[Halmaz]

Glad I'm not the only one who noticed. I found the buildup to the actual adventure the most entertaining part of the book if anything.

Yes, the part before they arrive at the island is pretty good, then it all falls apart. The first book is better thought out. All the mistakes the characters make are the result of cocksure attitude, stemming from arrogance, ignorance and narcissism. The park is exactly like a real company, that is run badly, but the managers refuse to acknowledge it.
In the second book, everyone is just doing dumb shit, for the sake of it. It kinda reads like the script of modern day Hollywood slop.
Malcolm's motivation to go to site B makes more sense in the movie, because his girlfriend is already there and he wants to be at least by her side and maybe convince her to just fuck off, before shit hits the fan.
In the book he just goes there to save his dumbass colleague/friend/whatever, Levine and to prove a point about extinction. This guy basically died in the first book, but now he is back and eager to try getting killed again.
Fucking Levine just couldn't help himself and had to go to the island along with a single guide, who gets killed instantly and the cunt is stuck there alone. Fucker couldn't wait a few days for Thorne to finish the work on the vehicles and start the actual expedition. In the first book the cameras made sense, because the park was supposed to be a high end zoo. Site B is decrepit, but all cameras still convienetly work, they always show important events, which they can follow along somehow. Of course, the stowaway, magical whiz kid negro, could totally access the InGen system's network with his l33t skillz. The other kid, Kelly, is useless. She is just there. Doesn't really do anything other then getting wet when Sarah finally arrives. She shoots a raptor with a dart gun around the end. That's it. They just stare at dinosaurs from that fucking high-stand and Malcolm holds several dissertations for God knows how many pages. Levine wanders off alone, just to watch how dinosaurs piss and shit, he gets bitten as a result. Do not even get me started on the saturday morning cartoon horseshit Dodgson and his ragtag group does with the eggs and that noisemaker. Even the kills are comical. Raptors brutally murder a guy, who has a chocolate bar in his pocket. One raptor eats it and proceeds to carry around the wrapper. What the fuck? No one has an actual gun for some reason, despite knowing all too well the island is full of dangerous animals. I guess the poison dart guns make sense, to dispatch the big ones, but the raptors could be killed by basic bitch rifles. I am actually re-reading the book right now, because I do not remember ever finishing it. I try my best to do it now, but it is testing my patience.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

The problem with these new movies is that there's no stakes, because you know that none of these characters are gonna fucking die. They won't kill a character if it will make the audience feel a negative emotion, because these movies are trying to be such crowd pleasers.

Like how they chickened out of letting the black guy actually die at the end of the new movie.

 

[Mac Monster]

It really shows Crichton was coaxed into writing it. I know a lot of people shit on Jurassic Park 2, but given how sloppy the second book was, Spielberg and his team had very little to work with and had to almost completely rewrite the script and introduce new plot elements.

The only memorable scene from The Lost World that Spielberg missed was the camouflaging Carnotaurus. Otherwise, he pretty much mined every cool moment and used it in the movie.

 

[Tasty Tatty]

Like how they chickened out of letting the black guy actually die at the end of the new movie.

I think this also happens in JP3 with Alan's assistant, the one who stole the eggs. He was just rescued off screen.

Terrible trope. Either show the character pulling some cool stunts to survive or just kill them off.