Jurassic Park/World megathread - Spared no expense.

[autoerotic bus accident]

The lack of guns in the original Jurassic Park was explained as InGen having been reluctant to have lethal control methods available on the island when the animals were worth millions of dollars apiece. Muldoon ordered three large guns, but his requisition was cut to one and Nedry took it when he left the control center, so the remaining humans were effectively without means of defense. This was portrayed as an irrational, corporate decision stemming from the financial motive to protect the park's property instead of preparing for actual problems, and was another explicit failure mode in the chaos spiral that allowed things to get out of control. And in the end the island is literally napalmed.

In the contemporary movies where humans are frankly fighting dinosaurs, there is no reasonable in-universe explanation for why they aren't using the largest guns available.

 

[The greater a'tuin]

In the contemporary movies where humans are frankly fighting dinosaurs, there is no reasonable in-universe explanation for why they aren't using the largest guns available.

They might as well have the dinos modified with bulletproof scales at this point.

 

[Headdot Reddot]

More like the kikes at Hollywood think armed civilians gunning down dinosaurs instead of "learning to coexist with them" would be too "right-wing". A character like Burt Gummer from Tremors or that hunter from The Lost World just can't exist in this day and age.

They did the hunter dude dirty in LW. Having a whining bitch steal his bullets, and the whining bitch did so after being nearly killed by dinosaurs. You'd think after that you'd have a healthy respect for how your own species has leveraged its intelligence to survive other species overwhelming strength over your own. Nah, Berger is too jewish to come up with anything that deep,

TBF, the hunter was portrayed negatively. His actions were more dumb than stupid, though.

Both Alan and Muldoon had guns when dealing with the raptors. They weren't above using them. Ingen had a team to kill the Indo too and they weren't necessarily portrayed as "bad".

And when they finally take the Indo seriously do they send seal team 6? Nah, they let the ego-fueled pajeet billionaire owner fly the copter and he makes thing exponentially worse. I guess that part of JW was believable atleast; a raging jeet ego ruins what should've been an easy victory.

 

[Headdot Reddot]

I'm a bit pissed Nedry isn't on the list as best characters. He's sure as hell the most relatable in the original film.

Dude is a very talented programmer, has staff in Cambridge so he's no jeet poser. Makes a fair bid on a job only to find out the job is way, way, way more complex than originally proposed. Forced to eat shit and keep working for his low bid or be blacklisted (in the book Hammond is way more evil about it but you see hints of it in their interactions in the film--Hammond is still the self-obsessed asshole who doesn't know when and where he needs to bend.)



Nedry clearly made the right call in assuming the park was unsustainable, its being run by an old dude that just doesn't "get it" and we can assume the espionage plans began before the death of the gatekeeper (perhaps it began when the raptors began terrorizing the feeders and they had to rapidly build the barrack solution to contain them.) Obviously Nedry was 100% right, he could see the chaos angle Malcolm also saw but Hammond refused to see. Makes sense, programming is lots of mathematics.

Nedry may seem lack empathy at first glance but he doesn't. He waits till the weekend to do his plan when the rest of the staff is on the boat awaiting to leave, limiting the chance of people being hurt when he disables the fences. We can assume that a normal weekend on the Island is just the security team, sometimes Hammond (but probably not often) and thats about it. Its a common misconception that the staff left because of the storm, that comes later. The staff was leaving as usual because it was Friday. The storm forced the boat to leave sooner than usual.

This is where Nedry's plan starts to unravel. It happens in such a way that even I as an audience member feel like I could relate. Instead of another dull weekend on the island with like 2 other dudes, the park facing closure soon due to lawsuits, the asshole owner brings in a team of civies including his own fucking grandkids. Mind you, Nedry knew damn well about the raptors being vicious killing machines and didn't fuck with their fences, only the ones he needed to disarm to get to the dock without arousing suspicion.

So these civies arrive, Nedry is locked into the plan because his cryocan has a limited cooling time and he has to get the DNA while the main staff is off the island. Damn, so relatable, haven't all of us wagies learned our works patterns and when we can slack only to have the goddamn owner surprise us once or twice?

Still, we can assume Nedry wants to succeed either to be able to get away with it or because he does have some measure of empathy and doesn't want the civies to die. Forced to run the tour he likely calculates that assuming nothing goes wrong the tour will return to the command center in time for him to execute his plan and arrive at the boat.

A few more chaotic things pile up: the storm forces the boat to leave early and one of the civies is a rule-breaking asshole and gets out of the vehicle to gawk at a dinosaur for what we can only assume was atleast 30 mins to an hour.



Really, Dr. Grant is the character that fucks everything up in JP. Had he not hoped out of his vehicle we can assume they'd have arrived back at the command center safely. In fact theres talk of cutting the tour short because of the incoming storm but sure enough Dr. Fuckitwhatever can't resist leaping into an unknown area. Hell, for all he knew he could've been wandering towards a fiberglass sick Triceratops that was used as a decoy to lure in lethal dinosaurs closer to the tracks. We know he wasn't playing around with the touchscreen map in the vehicle because he hates technology.

That detour set Nedry up for failure because he couldn't wait anylonger. Since we all know hacking isn't punching a keyboard rapidly for 30 seconds we have to assume Nedry's program was written off island and wasn't something he could tweak on a moments notice. Hence he couldn't modify the program to exclude the TRex fences.



(The only available maps of the park and tour route are only semi-canon and we must assume they aren't that detailed or even drawn to scale.) For whatever reason the tour vehicles are turned around rather than allowed to complete their loop (even though on the maps it looks like it'd be quicker to continue on--maybe Hammonds ego didn't want them seeing the other areas until they resumed the tour the next day?) Going back through the TRex paddock was especially dumb but I suspect Nedry assumed he could complete his plan before any problems occured.

Its also possible Nedry didn't expect the ride vehicles to stop while his program was running since its likely there wouldn't have been any vehicles operating as his plan was originally envisioned. We know the ride vehicles were plagued with bugs from the start of the tour.

Of course we see Nedry looking very nervous as he's forced to start his plan despite the numerous new variables he hadn't accounted for. Most of us would be nervous committing such a crime on dino island but I have a hunch that Nedry might have been nervous because he knew there were civies inside the fences he was about to shutdown. He couldn't wait any longer, in fact its possible he'd have missed the boat anyways even if he'd arrived to the port.

Nedry's one of the only employees that pushes back on Hammonds delusions, aside from Muldon (who actually suggested destroying all the Raptors so Hammond didn't even listen to his expert advice--rather building an expensive and inefficient paddock that had no safety locks nor backups for if the power went out. Hammonds ego even gets in the way of restoring power when he won't allow Malcolm to read the blueprints to Elly.

Anyways I rewatched this recently rather than watching the pile of garbage that is the newest JW movie. Nedry is as close as we get to a hero in this film while Grant is the actual immature child that fucks things up and Hammond is the delusional jerk with too much money and power.

Real shame more people can't recognize the facts. Wayne Knight is cool.

(Of course the movie was made by a covetous jew that was solicited by Universal Studios to specifically make it so they could make a ride about it--which was based more on the book--for their amusement park so we're lucky it turned out as good as it is. He also filmed it in Hawaii so he could have a nice vacation on the studios dime and also made sure the jew in the film was the "cool" guy who was always correct. Classic ego.)

 

[Owen Grady]

I saw the movie at the midnight showing last night. It was hard-boiled ass.

I knew immediately that this was the case after the prologue segment ended and the walls of text showed up to explain to us the audience everything that had occurred since the last film. If you can’t show-not-tell these things to me in movie format then you are a bad storyteller. Additionally, when they show the “Logosaurus” before any of the movies to accompany the title, I know it’s going to be a bad Jurassic World movie. This suggests to me that you are too insecure that the movie will be able to stand on its own and so you have to flash us the Jurassic Park logo in a quick attempt to assure us that this installment is going to be good because its progenitor was good. It’s also condescending. You think I will be wowed by a flashy first impression to be won over. This is not the case.

The premise of this movie, as I mentioned in a previous post, is simply another affirmation to me that the plot of Fallen Kingdom was an attempt to jump the shark with audiences, and the current generation of movie writers are not really smart or creative enough to do anything of any real substance with the premise of “dinosaurs alive in the real world”. This is why Dominion and Rebirth, despite taking place in the “Neo-Jurassic Age”, are still essentially dinosaur thrillers that take place on an island (in Dominion: an isolated valley in the Dolomites; functionally an island, and in Rebirth: wherever the hell this island is), even though the original island of Nublar has been done away with. The plot of this movie could easily have taken place on Nublar or Sorna, but it can’t have taken place there now because Sorna was “cleaned out”, and Nublar was destroyed for no good literary reason so that dinosaurs can be forced onto the mainland as a plot device, even though they aren’t really being used in that fashion anyway. So instead this movie takes place within a facility that has no logical reason to exist where it does and only creates more plot holes and continuity errors within the existing franchise.

I despised the characters. Especially the paleontologist. He embodied everything I hate about how modern scientists think and behave. An unsocialized (or perhaps oversocialized?), pathetic, submissive and “quirky” beta of a man with Reddit-tier ideals who hides behind an ideological mask of animal rights and fair access to science which, whether or not he actually believes this, is really just a cover for misanthropy, hatred of humanity, and a view that people are inferior to animals because animals have been around for longer than we have without dying, and that somehow makes them better than us. A genuinely evil, weak person painted as someone righteous and good.

I hated every single person in the sailboating mutt family, as well as that entire B plot. Although a part of this is just because I am overwhelmingly racist. Though I did definitely hate the “wacky zoomer boyfriend” and his shitty weed humor, which has no place in a Jurassic Park movie. This movie also had a far larger amount of intolerable Marvel quips and humor elements involved for ruining the wonder or tension in serious scenes, even moreso than the movies in the previous Jurassic World trilogy, which I was more easily able to overlook. For example, the part where the characters are overseeing the grasslands in search of the titanosaurs, and the sweeping beauty of the environment is interrupted so that we can have a shot of the shitty paleontologist chewing on his Altoids for comic relief, as if that was something the film needed. Again, this kind of thing has no place in a Jurassic Park film.

Every scene that the family was involved in was ruined for me because of the fact that I knew that none of them were in any real danger. Doubly so because they were non-white. In fact, the only part of this entire movie that genuinely surprised me was when the one black guy was killed by the in-name-only “Quetzalcoatlus”. Every single death in the movie other than that was of a White person, and of course the only really evil characters in this whole movie were White men. I knew immediately that the tough blonde merc in the beginning would get killed very early on, because he was easily the most “Aryan” looking character in the film.

There is a lot of dialogue in this movie that really means nothing. Nothing of any actual substance is being said. I am usually not one to advocate for more dinosaurs in a Jurassic Park film. Usually when they are making these films and they say “this movie is going to have more dinosaurs than any Jurassic film before it!”, that’s code to me that they don’t have a good story or characters that they are confident in, and they think that by just adding in more dinosaurs they can distract the audience away from the fact that they are watching a movie that is not so great. But in this particular instance the dialogue scenes dragged on forever. Characters interacting and discussing things that I was not invested in nor did I care about, either from the side of the mercenaries or the side of the family, and I just wanted to get on with a dinosaur scene so that I could forget how structurally bad this movie is. The problem of verbal exposition was real, as indicated in the opening text in the very beginning, and it’s apparent in every static line of dialogue this movie has. I don’t care what you have to say. At this point just give me more dinosaurs.

And, speaking of the dinosaurs, the radical departure from the stylization of previous Jurassic Park dinosaurs was a negative to me, as it made this feel less like an actual Jurassic Park movie. This is not helped that so many of the usual “story beats” that make a Jurassic Park film feel like a Jurassic Park film are simply not present in this movie. The only animal really to retain its “legacy” Jurassic Park look was an Apatosaurus in the city in the beginning of the movie, which was dying on the streets. My normie paleontologist friends that I saw the movie with were raving about how great it was that the dinosaurs looked more “realistic” but, as I’ve said before, nobody gives a shit how realistic the dinosaurs look if the movie is ass, especially if the standards of “realism” are just going to be changing the next day anyway. With some exceptions, dinosaur accuracy should not be what you are watching a Jurassic Park movie for.

This movie was indistinguishable from any other B-movie non-Jurassic Park dinosaur flick. You could have removed the Jurassic Park title, Ingen, and namedropping Alan Grant from the film, and this could be a movie taking place in any completely separate universe.

All in all this film was just bad and largely unremarkable, and I was stunned and appalled when the credits began scrolling to find that it was somehow written up by David Koepp, who screenwrote the original two Jurassic Park films. I don’t really see if or how they are going to use it as a vehicle for another trilogy. But it was so distant and foreign in tone from an actual Jurassic Park experience that I don’t even really care that it was so awful, and it doesn’t really manage to impact my enjoyment of any previous movies.

I’ll probably be able to think of other things I hated about this movie later. If so I’m sure I’ll post them here.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

and I was stunned and appalled when the credits began scrolling to find that it was somehow written up by David Koepp, who screenwrote the original two Jurassic Park films.

And that's how you know the old man needs to retire. Holy shit.

Thanks for the warning, resident JP professor. I'll just do a trilogy marathon instead.

 

[Headdot Reddot]

And that's how you know the old man needs to retire. Holy shit.

Thanks for the warning, resident JP professor. I'll just do a trilogy marathon instead.

They were so preoccupied with the fact that they could that they didn't stop to ask themselves if they should.

 

[Strange Wilderness]

TBF, the hunter was portrayed negatively. His actions were more dumb than stupid, though.

Really? I thought he was portrayed fairly noble. He's misguided but he does look out for Malcolm's team even though they're responsible for the mess they're in and is portrayed as competent. He and Malcolm are the only ones with brains in the movie who actually try and save everyone when the T-Rex's attack the camp, Malcolm telling everyone not to move because he knows the Rex's vision is based on movement and Roland actually remembering they have guns and trying to shoot the Rex's. They even let him live instead of getting eaten by a dinosaur, remorseful of how his obsession with hunting cost him his best friend and telling Ludlow and InGen to shove it at the end.

The lack of guns in the original Jurassic Park was explained as InGen having been reluctant to have lethal control methods available on the island when the animals were worth millions of dollars apiece. Muldoon ordered three large guns, but his requisition was cut to one and Nedry took it when he left the control center, so the remaining humans were effectively without means of defense. This was portrayed as an irrational, corporate decision stemming from the financial motive to protect the park's property instead of preparing for actual problems, and was another explicit failure mode in the chaos spiral that allowed things to get out of control. And in the end the island is literally napalmed.

AZA accredited zoos always use lethal force on an animal that is a potential threat to humans. That's why Harambe was killed instead of tranquilized because he was a potential threat to that boy and as Jurassic Park showed, humans have lawyers and animals/ dinosaurs don't. It was definitely unintentional but Hammond not following established zoo guidelines and building Jurassic Park outside U.S. jurisdiction helps show how sleazy and unethical he was in the books.

Nedry may seem lack empathy at first glance but he doesn't. He waits till the weekend to do his plan when the rest of the staff is on the boat awaiting to leave, limiting the chance of people being hurt when he disables the fences. We can assume that a normal weekend on the Island is just the security team, sometimes Hammond (but probably not often) and thats about it. Its a common misconception that the staff left because of the storm, that comes later. The staff was leaving as usual because it was Friday. The storm forced the boat to leave sooner than usual.

This is where Nedry's plan starts to unravel. It happens in such a way that even I as an audience member feel like I could relate. Instead of another dull weekend on the island with like 2 other dudes, the park facing closure soon due to lawsuits, the asshole owner brings in a team of civies including his own fucking grandkids. Mind you, Nedry knew damn well about the raptors being vicious killing machines and didn't fuck with their fences, only the ones he needed to disarm to get to the dock without arousing suspicion.

OK I'm not going to doubt or say your wrong but I always thought Nedrys plan was based on having multiple staff or at least more than three other employees on the island and the storm would have screwed him over regardless. If Nedry had succeeded in handing off the embryos to his contact at the boat, then when they checked the cooler on Monday and noticed the missing embryos Hammond, Muldoon, and Arnold would have put two and two together and realized Nedry was the only one who left and was the culprit. Had there been more employees or a larger skeleton crew Nedry would have pulled off his heist. I always saw it as chaos theory ruining Nedrys heist just as much as chaos theory led to the parks ruin.

 

[Headdot Reddot]

OK I'm not going to doubt or say your wrong but I always thought Nedrys plan was based on having multiple staff or at least more than three other employees on the island and the storm would have screwed him over regardless. If Nedry had succeeded in handing off the embryos to his contact at the boat, then when they checked the cooler on Monday and noticed the missing embryos Hammond, Muldoon, and Arnold would have put two and two together and realized Nedry was the only one who left and was the culprit. Had there been more employees or a larger skeleton crew Nedry would have pulled off his heist. I always saw it as chaos theory ruining Nedrys heist just as much as chaos theory led to the parks ruin.

Multiple staff but that likely means less than 3. We know pretty much all other staff leaves on the boat, even the guy checking out the sick triceratops says he's about to catch the boat.

Had the storm not happened I suspect Nedry would've stolen the embryos without a hitch. Even with the storm I suspect Nedry could've snagged them prior to it making landfall. Its not exactly clear but maybe Nedry had intended to do the heist around the time the tour began (fan sources suggest sometime late in the afternoon, the Trex incident happening around 7 pm.) If the boat was leaving at 5 like a normal 9-5 maybe he couldn't get away from his computer because of the added attention of Hammond being their and the tour running with live civies on board.

We have no idea how the rest of his plan would've played out. My theory is he would have the fences, phones and camera's shutdown and have it appear to be a glitch. He says as much before leaving the control room. If I were to steal something like that I'd time it around when the main DNA staff left, wipe all security data for the whole day (damn glitch corrupted the video files) and then leave breadcumbs implicating Wu or one of the other lab workers. If they used scan badges you could just plug in their scan data for whatever time you wanted. Make it minutes before they left the Lab for the boat.

If all had gone as planned Nedry could return to the control room after 20ish minutes, say he had to use the bathroom (had likely tested this excuse before with no pushback) and then deactivated the program or activated the next stage (parsing in fake data to shift the blame to someone else--Hammond probably cheaped out on his other employees as well.)

Nedry was no criminal mastermind. He was an ordinary guy, perhaps a genius level programmer, that was pushed too far by a greedy CEO. Hammond is without a doubt the bad guy all along. Attenborough could even play such an asshole (see Flight of the Phoenix with Jimmy Stewart) had he been allowed to but I suspect Spielberg softened up the character into the lovable Santa-Claus-Grandpa because Spielberg identified himself with Hammond and couldn't accept being the bad guy.

 

[Neet Tokusatsu]

Funny how this video appeared on my feed.

 

[draggs]

OK I'm not going to doubt or say your wrong but I always thought Nedrys plan was based on having multiple staff or at least more than three other employees on the island and the storm would have screwed him over regardless. If Nedry had succeeded in handing off the embryos to his contact at the boat, then when they checked the cooler on Monday and noticed the missing embryos Hammond, Muldoon, and Arnold would have put two and two together and realized Nedry was the only one who left and was the culprit. Had there been more employees or a larger skeleton crew Nedry would have pulled off his heist. I always saw it as chaos theory ruining Nedrys heist just as much as chaos theory led to the parks ruin.

The people running the park (with the exception of Muldoon) don't pay attention to the details. Hammond doesn't care about the details at all really. Nedry doesn't consider what obvious things could go wrong with his plan. Arnold doesn't consider what obvious things could go wrong with turning the power off and back on. Wu doesn't consider what obvious things could go wrong with substituting missing chunks of dinosaur DNA with the DNA of other species. Malcolm tells everyone running the park the entire time that chaos theory says any detail can prove to be decisive, and disastrously so. They're all too retarded to get what he's saying. Except Muldoon but the movie doesn't develop that he's the only one with any common sense among the park higher-ups, in the movie he's just kinda there. And in the book he didn't need Malcolm explaining chaos theory to him to be worried about shit going sideways

 

[ToroidalBoat]

To date, the first movie is the only JP movie I've seen all the way through.

(also I used to watch it on VHS in the '90s when younger)

 

[Mac Monster]

Really? I thought he was portrayed fairly noble. He's misguided but he does look out for Malcolm's team even though they're responsible for the mess they're in and is portrayed as competent. He and Malcolm are the only ones with brains in the movie who actually try and save everyone when the T-Rex's attack the camp, Malcolm telling everyone not to move because he knows the Rex's vision is based on movement and Roland actually remembering they have guns and trying to shoot the Rex's. They even let him live instead of getting eaten by a dinosaur, remorseful of how his obsession with hunting cost him his best friend and telling Ludlow and InGen to shove it at the end.

The only mistake Roland Tembo made was not washing Sarah's jacket, which still had baby T. rex blood on it. Otherwise he was very competent and would've achieved his goal of killing the buck T. rex if Nick Van Own hadn't fucked him over.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

I saw the movie at the midnight showing last night. It was hard-boiled ass.

I saw this movie last night too, but I'm not nearly as hard on it as you are. Maybe it's because it's the 7th movie in this God damned franchise and I had no expectations for it. I really can't stress enough that after Dominion and Fallen Kingdom, I would settle for anything I didn't hate. The reality is, this is movie #7 and they're out of ideas and nobody cares. The original writer can't salvage this and everyone knows it. The previous two movies left such a sour taste in my mouth, I'm willing to let stupidity go with an eye roll. Which we do start the movie with a REALLY eye rolling moment involving a candy wrapper.

Scarjo is absolutely phoning it in. She's a mercenary and this is her "last job". She can't stop talking about how she wants out of the mercenary life and this is her last gig. Just one last job to make all the money and get rich. She says it so many times, I can't help but feel like she isn't acting when she says it. I'm just waiting for an interview to come out later where someone says "Yeah...None of those lines were actually scripted. Scarjo just kept saying those things on set so we left them in the movie because they fit". Her age also really started to show in this movie. She's getting too old for this stuff.

Gareth Edwards when he wants to make an action sequence can do a pretty good job. It's really obvious to tell when he's having fun and when he isn't. There are some good and fun action sequences. There's a lot of really cool shots and angles that I think he did a decent job with. Although I swear nobody told this guy you're only allowed 3-4 really stupid moments in a movie. I guess that isn't entirely his fault.

The script is terrible. It's very video game-like. The ideas are nonsensical and if you put too much thought into it, you'll hurt yourself so don't bother. I'm willing to let the absolutely retarded premise go because movie has to movie. Honestly, you could spend all day ripping apart these plot holes. There's dozens of them. So let's do just that.

Lots Spoilers and lots of sperging ahead.

Spoiler: Spoilers for the entire movie

What I'm not willing to let go is the no guns thing. The script has plenty of perfect chances to get rid of guns. Even if you want to say "What's a gun going to do vs. a T Rex", sure..BUT THEN DON'T GO SHOWING THAT A HAND GUN WOULD BE VERY USEFUL LATER ON. A group of hardened mercenaries and you're going to tell me ScarJo doesn't carry a side arm? Are you serious movie?!

Oh speaking of the guns, I really am curious to see what the email chain conversation with Ngin and R&D was like when they asked for Flying Raptors. I bet it went something like this:
NGin: Yeah.... We're gonna need you to make some flying raptors for us.

R&D: Um, excuse me? Are you serious? Flying Raptors? They fly now?

NGin: Yes. They fly now.

R&D: On behalf of the entire R&D Department...No. Fuck you. That's a terrible idea. We quit. How about we make you a scarier T-Rex and call it a middle ground?

NGin: Ugh...Fine...Fucking babies.
*3 weeks later*

R&D: Yeah about that T Rex....We fucked up its head. It has Stage 15 Brain Cancer.
The D. Rex thing was retarded. But I think even funnier was how the black guy survives at the end. I like to think somewhere there's a deleted scene of ScarJo asking him how he survived and he's like "Oh I just threw the flare and he went after it and I swam away. I think it's retarded. Maybe we should've put it out of its misery." That's the only way I can fathom that he possibly lived. The D in D.Rex has to stand for Dumb.

Oh and then there's the scientist with the dumb "Open Source" it idea. Great, until you can't afford to manufacture the cure for Heart Disease and have to sell it to the highest bidder anyway to avoid a bidding war and price gouging. This retard didn't really think any of this through. And that's assuming the first pharmaceutical company who notices doesn't just send in a team of 10 guys with guns and take the research anyway, and take down the "Open Source Cure for Heart Disease" and privatize it anyway. It's remarkably short sighted and stupid.

I could go on forever about all the stupidity this movie has to offer, but I've done enough sperging. I'll talk about things I did like. The boat scenes in the beginning are great. The D Rex emerging from the smoke with the helicopter already in its mouth was also a really cool shot. The flying raptor crawling through the ceiling with its reflection in the water also really stood out as a cool shot. I like watching the Mosasaur flip through the water like a whale. Say what you want about Dr. Simp, but the moments where he gets excited over seeing these dinosaurs in person do make him genuinely likeable. Him falling off the cliff and not dying might've been bullshit, but the capsule thing landing next to him did get a laugh out of me. The Quetzalcoatl already having the guy in its mouth as it climbed up the cliff was pretty cool. The raft not popping was something I originally thought was dumb, but on second thought, I realized it actually would make sense for Ngin to have their emergency rafts made out of special material to not get bitten apart dinosaurs. It's still a dumb moment, but I guess it makes sense if I squint really hard.

All in all, it's a dumb movie but I had fun with it.

Edit: Holy shit this movie was basically done in just a bit over a year. Oh my God it is a miracle they got a movie done at all. Kudos to you Gareth Edwards. You deserve all the credit as well as a sequel and another proper stab at this franchise.

 

[Crex Crex]

Rofl, this franchise has gone completely off the rails. Even Jp3 looks like gold now when compared to the awful Jurassic World movies. Also why call the Jurassic anything at this point? There's barely dinosaurs now, it's just increasingly retarded mutant freaks.

 

[Tri-Tachyon'sClown]

Ver archivo adjunto 3238464
Well this is a crossover no one foresaw coming.

Scrolling through the highlights, I never got around to reading Dinotopia but the art was always sick as fuck.

Had some hope on this one

The fact that you even still had hope makes me sad. No that's not an insult, because I want to have hope for something I once loved like you had. But seeing how even the most niche and obscure things are turning to shit for one reason or another...had to do that. It's an admirable quality if anything.

Rebirth isn't worse than Dominion, right? Can you really get much worse?

There's always a bigger pile of dino dung and God as their witness they will make it.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=7Pf6E8yjMAI
Funny how this video appeared on my feed.

Hitting the head might not be the best idea given the brain to skull/head radio, but given how much damage those rounds he used did it might not matter too much. God I wish more developers did proper dinosaur hunting games, I only know enough to count on one hand almost every single one of them sucked so bad. Last one I saw was theHunter primal which they gave up on immediately.

Gareth Edwards when he wants to make an action sequence can do a pretty good job. It's really obvious to tell when he's having fun and when he isn't. There are some good and fun action sequences. There's a lot of really cool shots and angles that I think he did a decent job with. Although I swear nobody told this guy you're only allowed 3-4 really stupid moments in a movie. I guess that isn't entirely his fault.

This is why most if not all directors need a tard wrangler, because this Gareth fellow sounds exactly like someone who has interesting ideas that may not be good so he needs to be reigned in. Good example might be George Lucas. Reigned in he makes the original trilogy, no tard wrangling and you get the prequels. Movies are gems, they need to have the ugly rock cut away from it and if you don't you just get garbage.

Even Jp3 looks like gold now when compared to the awful Jurassic World movies.

Much as I dislike the "maybe I judged you too harshly" train of thought since a turd is still a turd even in the face of a bigger turd, yeah that shit is so ass I rather watch JP2 and 3 than whatever the fuck World is smoking.

 

[Agarathium1066]

Much as I dislike the "maybe I judged you too harshly" train of thought since a turd is still a turd even in the face of a bigger turd, yeah that shit is so ass I rather watch JP2 and 3 than whatever the fuck World is smoking.

There were parts of 3 I actually liked. Sure it was clearly the worst of the three that had been out by a wide margin but the riverboat attack, the pterodactyl aviary, and even at times the raptor scenes could be fun. The two parents were painful as was the inexplicably survivalist kid but a precociously capable kid was a part of all three original films.

I just think gathering T rex piss slightly edges out inexplicably kicking a raptor to death.

The raptors intentionally laying traps like they did feel goofy but it at least attempts to explain why they took the eggs back instead of violently tear apart everyone at the end.

 

[frozen_runner]

There were parts of 3 I actually liked. Sure it was clearly the worst of the three

Was it? Did it have a little black girl doing a parallel bar routine on suspiciously spaced pipes in order to kick a raptor and save the day? Did it have T-Rex running through a city like Godzilla?

The Lost World is total ass. It's throughly watchable because Spielberg directed it, but all the good scenes were cribbed from the book, and they didn't crib much from the book, unfortunately.

 

[Headdot Reddot]

Nedry doesn't consider what obvious things could go wrong with his plan.

Everything else in your post is spot on but I disagree with this point. I think Nedry, being a high-level programmer, definitely thought about such details. Chaos implies that there are too many variables to factor, not that the one factoring them is negligent of them.

Nedry wasn't fleeing the island, he was handing off the embryos. He clearly had a follow-through plan to cover his ass we never got to see. Nedry could've told Hammond to fuck off and left long before this point but we must assume that like Hammond in the book he threatened to black-list Nedry if he did so. Obviously in that situation you aren't going to commit a major crime, to be fair Nedry may have had a right to break his contract if the scope of his job continued to expand beyond what he agreed to.

So I'm assuming Nedry was going to frame the theft on someone in the lab, feign innocence and use his superior tech knowledge to cover his trail. $1.5 was a lot of money back then but if Nedry was a Cambridge-level programmer he'd be able to earn more than that over his career. I suspect this was just to get back what he felt Hammond owed him.

The storm is the main variable he overlooked. Had he done his plan an hour earlier (as he may have intended) it'd likely have worked. The dino's got all riled up cause of the storm, without that they probably wouldn't have torn down the fences (Rex seems to have left the paddock to investigate the stalled vehicles--as them if they needed a hand or change a spare tire.)

The visitors were the other chaotic element since Nedry likely didn't know about them until AFTER he got the cryocan and was basically forced to make his move. Even then it seems like he did make some attempts to work around them as best as he could.

 

[Agarathium1066]

Was it? Did it have a little black girl doing a parallel bar routine on suspiciously spaced pipes in order to kick a raptor and save the day? Did it have T-Rex running through a city like Godzilla?

The raptor gymnastics were utter shit but I actually enjoyed the T rex in the city. It was goofy but I personally didn't find it as stupid as the recurring nokia ring tone, digging in a pile of dinosaur shit to find it, rex piss, or the titanically stupid parents. Nor did it have them randomly yammering about their divorce troubles while literally in one of the most dangerous places in the universe.

Lost World had its issues but also had strong highlights. The cliff scene at the time blew me away and was genuinely tense. The introduction of the mercenaries was rad as hell to me at the time and I still find it enjoyable. The compies killing Dieter felt frightening. Roland Tembo managed to both seem reasonable but a decent antagonistic force. Instead of going out like a bitch he realized his mistake and didn't get involved further.

Neither was as good as the first but for totally different reasons.