🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[DrChristianTroy]

To summarize the latest Belchblog:

- Sweet didn't soil himself in that one panel, and he goes into disturbing detail about a fart gone wrong
- @Le Bateleur is now dubbed the "French Fuck-knuckle"
- Sweet's self insert is not an "unintentional villain" you guys, he's a "loveable rascal"
- Some TVTropes linkage happens
- Sweet uses the usual "adios" sign-off

TL;DR: Sweet gets worked up over criticism of Belch Dimension again (this time only 4 days later). Also, farting.

That "lovable rascal" line really did open things up to roasting. It's like he wants to make this easy for me.

 

[Shadow Fox]

I'm sure his brother appreciates Jon Boy telling us about the high-larious fart routine they used to do together, too.

Look, my character is, like me, a lovable rascal

like me, a lovable rascal

me, a lovable

me lovable

 

[Chan the Wizard]

So how old do you think Sweet and his brother were during the fart stage?
Because he writes like it was just a few years ago, but it's something even a 5-year-old would have found juvenile and dumb.

 

[Adamska]

So let's get through Jonny the assblasted baby's posts posthaste:

From the dingusoids at The Other Forum, regarding the cold open to ep. 310.

The English language has a pretty good repertoire of insults broheim; you don't need to prove that you were a manchild who grew up in the 1980s by inventing something that a cynical businessman would invent for their "cool" character during that time period.

For example, calling you a child fetishizing sociopathic maladjusted bigot is an insulting, but perfectly accurate description of you. All of these words exist in the lexicon already, and better yet doesn't sound autistic as fuck when you type it down.

Also stop being a little pussy bitch and actually call the Farms by its name.

You're being dishonest, Le Bateleur. You've deliberately taken the panel totally out of context to make me sound bad.Typical Kiwi ploy. If you actually read the whole page, as I doubt you did, you French fuck-knuckle, you'd see that it was actually Benjamin who ripped the fatal fart and announced "gambled and lost" off-panel. It was the second one he did in the space of one page.

Since you can't bother to attribute or show who said what, no one but you would know this. You don't bother to show someone else said it with a tail for the speech bubble pointing away from your mary sue OC. You have the action take place with him in frame. Your incompetence at writing a legible story makes it look exactly like you shit your pants, which is actually pretty common with idiots like you.

tl;dr you lack a theory of mind.

Jon: What do we say when we bake an air biscuit?
Ben: The dog did it!
(BUDDY shoots JON a dirty look.)
Jon: I've taught you well.

A script is a different format than a comic, allowing people to more easily attribute who did what since their names must be included. You are retarded for assuming that the design will translate perfectly. Especially since you lack any level of understanding for comic design and aesthetics.

He does a third later when the boys perform a rousing rendition of "Where, Oh Where Are You Tonight (a.k.a. The Hee Haw Song"), on page 10. This is based on something my brother and I actually used to do some years ago: -snip-

Only children and pedophiles like AnimatedJames care about farting. I'm literally going to skip the rest of this verbal diarrhea since no one cares about how you obsessively recall and monitor fucking farting.

Also, again with the tired "unintentional villain" blah-blah, this time in regard to the end of the story "Junk Bonds" in the '08 Christmas issue.

He is the villain; just like how you are the villain to everyone who meets you.

Look, my character is, like me, a lovable rascall who plays by his own rules and sometimes acts as the good-natured bumbler.

Lovable people don't try to murder brothers, threaten the death of multiple people for decades, break and enter buildings they're banned from, chew peanut shells behind your ears because attention seeking asshole, or demands his elderly mother leave his brother to fall apart so he can go to college despite having the degree needed to actually get into journalism. You are a piece of shit.

He hangs with your usual teenage archetypes: the High-School Hustler, BaberahamLinked-In, and the Unintelligiblis Eatus-Everythingibus.

"Brevity is the soul of wit... what that means is stop wasting my time," ~ Harold S. Plinkett

Especially since the average archetypes aren't that you ignorant dullard, and a more fitting take on it during your own time would be the fucking Breakfast Club.

The story itself is one long homage to Sanford and Son, with a lot of in-jokes I wager only true fans may appreciate.

True Scotsman fallacies are a way to dig yourself out of writing something utterly retarded and in poor taste. Besides, you can only directly steal from others; homage my ass.

I actually always wondered, if Fred and Lamont basically live smack in the middle of their store, how can folks tell which items are shop stock and which are the Sanford's personal belongings? (Although I suppose price tags would help.)

Most people who live in shops live upstairs or in the back. But since you are as retarded as the earth is old, you went for something utterly stupid and unfunny.

Hence, the impetus for the ending. I'll admit the gag of having "Jed" die is a little dark, but (A) he did try to hustle and cheat the Trio, and (b) it is based on Redd Foxx's real-life fatal heart attack on the set of The Royal Family. If his co-stars hadn't simply thought he was doing his old "big one" gag when he clutched his chest, Foxx might still be alive and working today at age 93. Happy birthday, Redd.

It's k because HE FUCKED WITH ME is basically what you're saying here. Even fictional you is a selfish twat.

 

[AnOminous]

Your incompetence at writing a legible story makes it look exactly like you shit your pants, which is actually pretty common with idiots like you.

Everyone knows Sweet is too repulsive ever to be in the company of other humans, so the only reason he'd put that in his strip is if he in fact had shit himself at some time in the past.

It is obviously directly recounting an episode of him shitting himself.

Sweet admits he shits himself.

It goes along with his hoarding of piss bottles.

All cows of the tard variety seem to shit themselves and collect piss bottles. Sweet is a cow of the tard variety. Q.E.D.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

[incandescent bulb thing]

Some people still like incandescent bulbs because of their superior (at least for now) CRI (Color Rendering Index). Sweet likes them as bug zappers.

 

[wheat pasta]

Secondly, I would be recognized early on as a clever child and been made a lord or a wizard or a cleric or some such thing.

HOLY SHIT THIS IS THE SINGLE BEST THING HE'S EVER SAID. Oh god. The other stuff was pretty gold too, like where he once more projects his own flaws onto his big bad nemeses:

In the olden days people with epilepsy or other such maladies (like being a tardbaby, right Jon?) were considered demon-possessed, so they were often drowned, burned alive at the stake, or subjected to trepanation--that is, they had a hole knocked in their skull with a special instrument to let the devils out. ... you'd be simply left alone on a rocky hillside in the middle of nowhere to die of exposure, as the ancient Romans used to do to their deformed,(what do I even say to this...), dunderheaded (see previous comment), or crippled children. Even today you'd probably be looked upon as an insurance risk by most Universities (HMMM), ... they'd give you the old "velvet glove" haze in hopes of persuading you to leave school ...

Oh dear. He really got into this screed, didn't he.

 

[The Mountain]

The closest thing Sweet would ever be to a wizard is a Grand Wizard of the Klan. Except he'd never make a rank that high because you'd need to be a somewhat effective leader, even by inbred hillbilly standards.

 

[Holdek]

Also, @Holdek could add "has made death threats" to the list of similarities in the OP.

Done.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

Utterly Disconnected From Reality wrote:

Look, my character is, like me, a lovable rascall who plays by his own rules . . .

What kind of hardened convict can look back at his 20-year-long, tardraging crime spree and say that he is a "lovable rascal" who "plays by his own rules."

Let's expand his line of thinking.

Jeffrey Dahmer: irrepressible scamp.

Ted Bundy: amiable imp.

John Wayne Gacy: affable mischief-maker.

Ed Gein: merry prankster.

 

[Ruin]

What kind of hardened convict can look back his 20-year-long, tardraging crime spree and say that he is a "lovable rascal" who "plays by his own rules."

Let's expand his line of thinking.

Jeffrey Dahmer: irrepressible scamp.

Ted Bundy: amiable imp.

John Wayne Gacy: affable mischief-maker.

Ed Gein: merry prankster.

But of course.

 

[Holdek]

Eating: McRib, fries

So I'm suffering one of those 24-hr. stomach bugs, and I've never been more grateful that my bedroom is a mere five running steps from the can.

Maybe you should improve your diet.

I don't think I've ever seen one of your eating or drinking updates be healthy.

Also, if your bathroom is so close, why the jars?

 

[ToroidalBoat]

So there's a new Belchblog up for today (12/9). TL;DR: The spice salt must flow...

Also, Sweet admits he's 242 pounds. At least he seems to be honest about his weight.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

242lbs?
I guess shitting your pants and doing nothing all day isn't the revolutionary weight loss system we all thought it was.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

Beelzebubba wrote:

I was at a Christmas party last week up at the parsonage . . .

So his mom convinced him that the exorcism was a Christmas party. Good for her.

Sweet doubtless clapped his hands and drooled in simpleminded glee when the minister approached him and sang a new Christmas carol known as I Cast Thee Out, Unclean Spirit.

 

[Ruin]

242 pounds

All he needs is a wig and he could totally pass as a college student u guiz.

 

[AnOminous]

So there's a new Belchblog up for today (12/9). TL;DR: The spice salt must flow...

Also, Sweet admits he's 242 pounds. At least he seems to be honest about his weight.

How can he be fat and scrawny at the same time?

 

[Ruin]

How can he be fat and scrawny at the same time?

I imagine like opl he has very little if any muscle mass.

 

[Adamska]

How can he be fat and scrawny at the same time?

0% muscle, hence why Tim slaughtered him in his murder attempt.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

Mr. Perfect finally admits he made a mistake:

Yeah.... irl I don't have a team behind me to throw the punches and built the gadgets while I plan strategy, look for diplomatic solutions to problems, and throw caustic quips at the bad guys. No one else was doing anything about my brother. I stepped up. I made a hash of it. I should have planned it better. Maybe a dose of chloroform, a stout rope, and a waiting train boxcar. The victim would be halfway to Chatta-noogie before he knew it.

The above outburst was in response to a mild chiding by @DrChristianTroy.

It's good to see that the Sweet house is awash in the spirit of Christmas. The stockings are hung by the chimney with care, and Jonathan fantasizes about how he could have assaulted and kidnapped his brother in a manner that wouldn't end with Thumb Skull his own self in a jail cell.