🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[Sanae Kochiya]

And after 17 years, isn't it time for Sweetums to come up with Plan B?

Change is a liberal social construct and is used to indoctrinate susceptible people.

He shouldn't have to change. Everything was just fine back in half past '87 or whatever hell date he said it was.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Plan B?

Sweet's plan B seems to involve a "hit list" and an 8 inch bone knife.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

I enjoyed college and made close friends there, but it was hard fucking work (classes and my 25-30 hours/week on-campus job). My fondest memories of college are for sure not eating taco pie and watching cartoons.

And after 17 years, isn't it time for Sweetums to come up with Plan B?

What do you mean? It wasn't all buffets and TV and underage townies calling you? What weird alternate universe do you live in?

 

[John Titor]

He was watching Axe Cop. A series created by a literal 5 year old (and so much better than what Belch Dumbmension could come up with).

 

[ToroidalBoat]

underage townies

Excuse me, but I believe the correct term is "barely legal townies."

 

[Adamska]

Okie-dokie, Jonny the Scizophrenic Bum had a critical ass ache reaction today and unleashed enough salt to sterilize Carthage. Let's see why:

1. The last time I got involved in my family's business I got way too emotionally invested.

Translation: I got pissed when I wasn't allowed to shit and do nothing for money and got angry and scared when niggers walked into the shop and were not turned away. I also got assblasted when Dale wanted me to actually know things about tech. I was also so retarded I thought I was a manager when I was at best the stock boy/clerk.

That's why Dale is on my hit list.

How dare he let them coloureds in here; how dare I have to do fucking work.

Do you really want to see some poor family hunted down and dealt with over a few hundred bucks in unpaid in rent?

Translation: I only care about my family because they haven't kicked my worthless tailpipe out into the street. If they expected me to be an adult, I would probably try murdering them again.

I suggested moving my brother into the old place, but nobody ever listens to my ideas.

No shit they wouldn't. Most of your ideas involve trying to get back into a college you've been blacklisted from forever because you are too retarded to actually try and get a job with your degree online or locally to live a life even better than at ASU. That or throw all of the family money into this get-rich-quick scheme that you believe since you have less common sense than a lobotomized squirrel.

2. Oh, isn't he ? I've been thinking: he seems much too in the know about the newspaper business to just be a casual observer, and why are all these "sources" willingly talking to some nobody from a message board?

Solution: He majored in Journalism, and actually picked up on the actual skills of the trade. Stuff like finding contacts, doing research, verifying info. All things you are too lazy to do. Now let's get into the conspiritard flavor of the day.

I think they know him. Further, I think he's someone I knew from those days, someone I hurt, out for revenge.

Jonny, the only thing you've ever hurt have been yourself and Tim's fists when he unintentionally broke your face into an even flatter shape when you tried to murder him.

All I have to do is follow the clues....

Jonny boy, you couldn't even get out of a hospital after hours of wandering. You fucked up the identity of Ashlaaay too. You also fucked up noticing the many clues people left to tell you that you were a titanic failure. You'd only find a clue if @Dr. Merkwurdichliebe threw it at you... in public. In front of your eyes. Even then you probably would fuck it up.

3. I never said they didn't exist. I just said I don't see them. Those channels you mentioned? ABC--blue-screen from 7-9 p.m on Wednesdays. CBS-- picture, no volume. NBC--forbidden. There are rules. Weird, stupid rules.

The rule is your ghetto rig is whack and needs unfucking. The simplest solution is to get a better converter box or fix your reciever. Or hell, get a not shit TV.

4. Tattoos? Oh, yeah, sure. Nothing like hepatitis to put the color back in someone's cheeks.

Says the retarded man who has been breathing mold spores into his lungs for years.

Besides, a new diet and a workout regime won't do anything to shrink my large forehead, which is the part of me you gibberheads focus on (that and my wiener-- why does Doc Murky think a bully went after me for looking at my junk in the school locker room? That's just creepy and stupid).

Nice to see your English degree was worthless: the Doc referred to you being a homo because you were looking at other people's junk with that response. And an unshit diet would probably unclog the rat's nest of fat clearly choking your brain to death. The exercise would do the same and actually make you feel not shit.

5. The world is whatever those in power say it is. NYC isn't the only place people get knifed or shot, ya know. Read the crime reports this side of the Mason-Dixon line sometime, you insular, nattering little twit. Memphis is a craphole. And I saw the real world, in college. It was far too freaky for me to take. I'm willing to settle for the "real enough" world.

So in short you are basically a caveman who screams at the metal birds from the hovel you deem your home since the real world expects you to grow up and fuck that.

6. You could never understand. Taco salad reminds me of a simpler time... the nineties, sitting in the ASU cafeteria enjoying a dish of taco pie and waffle-cut fries, which were served there every Saturday morning, and watching my favorite shows on the tube.

Most people I know remember the classes, fun/shit teachers, or memorable assignments. You on the other hand? Being a layabout who probably flunked multiple classes due to being a lazy faggot.

When I returned home I would often make the dish for my family. My mother didn't quite like it as much as I did-- she said the chip crust was too hard for her to chew-- so I deferred to her and modified it to taco salad.

This is pathetic as fuck.

Iprepare taco salad for Mom maybe three times a month. For me it's like returning once more to those glory days, if only for as long as it takes to get to the last pinto bean remaining on the plate.

No really, this is pathetic as fuck.

Yeah.... irl I don't have a team behind me to throw the punches and build the gadgets while I plan strategy, look for diplomatic solutions to problems, and throw caustic quips at the bad guys.

So in short, you had no one to fight the battles you started for you. This is why no one likes you Sweets; you treat others only based on what they might get you without giving anything in return.

No one else was doing anything about my brother. I stepped up. I made a hash of it. I should have planned it better. Maybe a dose of chloroform, a stout rope, and a waiting train boxcar. The victim would be halfway to Chatta-noogie before he knew it.

Normal people just call the funny farm or the po-po to stop crazy druggies from being crazy druggies. Only a sociopath considers murder as a viable option.

Or, you know, they could let me back into ASU

Not happening after the shit you've pulled.

whether I could enjoy a better diet

Or you could eat that at home. Veggies tend to be cheap as fuck, mix it with rice and a bit of chicken. Wallah, cheap food.

work out in the weight room and jogging track

What happened to walking about recycling cans?

enjoy a much healthier and more fulfilling lifestyle.

But, no, it's always going to be Nuh, nuh, nuh, them's our perks! On-on'y we is can has that. Goin' back ta our school be th' wuhhhhst thing fuh yee-oo.

You bitch at me if I stay in and watch TV; you say I'm being a nuisance and driving everyone crazy if I go out and socialize. Blah blah blah. Yab yab yab. Make up your mind, huh?

If you weren't an insolent piece of shit who will die homeless and unloved, you'd read the stuff we typed in full rather than assume you know better Mr. I-live-in-a-rotten-hovel. It's called not being a socially retarded neanderthal.

You say you want me to live better, but not if it inconveniences you in the slightest, is that it?

Nah, you lying dishonest retarded hillbilly. Several people like @atomik fyre have actually felt for you and gave help. You were such a piece of shit though that they now don't really care and would actually be pleasantly shocked if you stopped ruining your own life. In short, drop autistic ass rage, use degree to actually get job in real people journalism (NOT a shitty unpaid college position).

Typical self-contradictory double-talk. That's why I despise you people. You are so confusing and frustrating.

It's called fucking moving on. It's literally what we've been telling you to do directly since that frees so much time to do things like write comics or get a job writing for Cracked/Daily Mail. You are more retarded than the spec. ed students I've worked with over the years.

There are no piss jars or bottles in my room, jackass. If I have to go and the bathroom is ocupado, I step out back and drain my lizard in the bushes.

First it was piss jars, then the sink, then it's the bushes. Doubletalk? The fuck is that?

Uh-uh-uhh, Troy-Boy. Now you're being dishonest. It's been established by you people, and Doc Murky's own sources, that there was no plagiarism; I was fired for being an office nuisance.

You essentially stole the format of your joke from SNL, like all the other shit you steal in your work that would be sued to death if it actually made money. We concluded that it wasn't really enough grounds for plagiarism since you didn't steal the jokes, but at the college they did. Even then, it's poor taste to not attribute the formatting to SNL, and no, chanting you haven't seen it doesn't help (just ask Joe Biden). Saying it doesn't exist is demonstrably wrong. Saying it's a conspiracy (the Skit being made to fuck you) is monumentally retarded and delusional.

The plagiarism thing was merely something convenient to hang their snappy fedora (the hat of choice for film-noir newspaper men since 1948) on.

Honestly, they probably could've just kicked you off for your antics like they did in the past, but I guess they wanted something that'd be bad enough to make it permanent.

So basically they've admitted right out there was blatant fraud committed. I will never forgive them for that.

First off, it wasn't they as you've said not even a couple of sentences ago you illiterate tard. You directly mention what WE said and conflated it with THEM through autism and a lack of theory of mind. Secondly, you will die alone and unloved, homeless too. Your grudge will never be fulfilled. Blim blim blim.

They could have just asked me to leave.

You'd have pitched a tard fit and would've tried to kill one of them. You did this when you got kicked out and kept it up for decades. This would do the same thing. Alternatively, you'd ignore them to the point where they have to kick you. Then rinse and repeat what I first said.

They could have cited an ethical breach in my accepting gifts for my work; I did it, I admit it, and wouldn't have questioned the charge.

You totally would you lying piece of shit.

But nooooooooooooooooooooooo. They lied. They couldn't help themselves. They lied against me.

Says the pathological liar.

They filed a false, trumped-up charge, which turned my fans against me, who flipped their shit and turned all creepy and murderous.

Correction: You had no fans, you pissed everyone off for being a raging jackass, and you admitted to a charge that we as a group felt was not really plagiarism but they honestly did since it's still a copy of the routine.

I tried to redeem myself and win back both my job and the hearts of the people.

Translation: I tried to blackmail the president by faking child porn, threatened to kill several people during the one year I was still going through college, and stalked people. I was too retarded to get a psych test due to being too retarded to know I am fucking crazy.

That just made things worse. But I have plan to make it aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall better.

Translation: I will die alone and unloved as a homeless bum. Blim blim blim.

 

[wheat pasta]

I wonder what analog to the Chinaphone was in place for female college students under Teh Sistym. Sweet never mentions anything about underage townie boys hanging around campus waiting to be sexed up, after all. Were women just not provided for?

The women? They were provided with Jon M. Sweet himself, truly a prize greater than any other.
What a silly question.

There are no piss jars or bottles in my room, jackass. If I have to go and the bathroom is ocupado, I step out back and drain my lizard in the bushes.

Nobody told him that it's unsanitary and disgusting to keep pee-jars in your bedroom, so he didn't get a chance to change his story until it came under such scrutiny! You evil liberals should let him catch a break.

 

[Adamska]

Sweet's plan B seems to involve a "hit list" and an 8 inch bone knife.

He'd fit right in with these guys:

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

The women? They were provided with Jon M. Sweet himself, truly a prize greater than any other.

The university had to drop this policy rather quickly when parents began complaining that Arkansas State University was exposing their daughters to something that was turning them into lesbians.

 

[AJMLurker]

Oh snap, just noticed Sweet's tardrage response to me in his latest blog post. I'm used to him overlooking my stuff, so imagine my surprise when he actually responded to one of my posts here with a nice long reply.

Finally, this piece of stupidity from someone I once considered a friend

Jon, you say that like I actually lost something when you stopped regarding me as your friend. Dude, I was only your friend out of respect for the AJM culture. Other than that, I don't really give a shit about some retarded guy with a nasty ass fart fetish. Go back to shitting yourself you freak of nature.

If you were a decent person at heart, I wouldn't of sided with the Kiwis, but you're a scumbag. Everybody realizes this, even the AJMers. They're just too nice to tell you and probably uber freaked out by you now after all this.

Uh, no. First, it's "would have", not would of".

Thanks for catching that. Saying "would of", "could of" and "should of" is a mistake I often make. I don't like it, but like many people, I mishear would've, could've, and should've and then write them out incorrectly. Does that excuse me constantly mistyping them as would of, could of or should of? Nope. If I could catch all my grammar mistakes before posting, I would. Unlike you, I'm always down to improve my writing skills.

Anyway Sweetness, we all know why you resort to correcting others' grammar. It's a desperate bid for dominance on your part. You have no right to talk with the countless grammatical mistakes you make in your rants. You also constantly misuse terms. And when you're called out, you start bitching and moaning about ASU and how you need some geek there to edit your batshit insane spiels. If I wanted to, I could shift through your shit and point out all the grammar mistakes in your nonsense, but it isn't necessary. You destroy yourself with your words.

Secondly, I would be recognized early on as a clever child and been made a lord or a wizard or a cleric or some such thing.

Lol, no. Sorry Sweet, you would've been drowned to death. You're too retarded to learn how to drive. You're too retarded to realize college life is more than watching cartoons, eating buffet food, and talking to girls over the phone. You don't even know how proper dating works you virgin. Oh, let's see, you also got lost in a hospital for eight hours. You're too retarded to improve upon your comic and actually make people like it. You fail epically as a storyteller. Can I go on? Your own brother didn't want you as a groomsman at his wedding. You led to AJM STUDIOS getting shut down by being too retarded to politely ask the Kiwis to leave. The only reason you aren't in jail getting your ass pounded is because nobody takes you seriously enough to report you to the cops. You can't understand basic social ques. Oh shit, I think I'm done for now. Wait, you can't drive again.

Also, do you think the middle ages were like Dungeons and Dragons or some shit? A wizard?

The peasants would have worshiped me as a god, laying bounties of gifts at my feet. I'd have been given my own parcel of land and an estate, and have the best food and the finest slatterns of the town brought to me... in short, the 14th-century equivalent of the ASU lifestyle.

The peasants of the middle ages might've been uneducated, but that doesn't mean they all had the mind of an autistic 6 year old child like you do ya idiot. They wouldn't of known the cause behind your "special" qualities, but they would've known you were fucked in the head. They would've attributed the cause to possession most likely and then proceeded to brutally murder exorcise the demon outta you by torture of some fashion. Or your parents would've flat-out drowned you like I said before. Peasants couldn't afford a retarded child like you, they needed their children for labor so you would've been a giant waste of space. Like you are today.

You would have two strikes against you, being of a shall we say, Moorish persuasion, and, as you mentioned having a seizure about a week ago, in ill health.

Hey, you're right, but guess what, I'm not retarded like you. And we don't live in the middle ages. Or before the 1970s for that matter. Also racist motherfuckers don't phase me, unlike how us niggos terrify you.
Today, your retardedness has made you into an abysmal failure with no real friends. Back in the middle ages, they would've just killed your ass.

Thanks for reminding me of your hatred for black people also. I'm not offended whatsoever. Your a 40 year old autistic manchild who is a blight on white people. Every white person on this forum is deeply ashamed of you. Not even the KKK would take you. They can't afford an uber exceptional individual like you in their ranks.

Also you reacted to my seizure the way I expected you to. LOL, thanks for being predictable as usual Sweetness. You shouldn't be talking about ill health buddy. You have a horrible case of autism. You lost the genetic lottery and suffer from rapid aging. You're the only Sweet brother who has gone bald. You breathe in fucking black mold everyday. When your mother dies, you're going to be locked up in a psych ward. Should I go on Jonny?

Even today you'd probably be looked upon as an insurance risk by most Universities, and even if you got in because of anti-discrimination laws put in place to protect those with disabilities, your peers would be less than charitable.

More of that projection as usual. First, your a retarded manchild confined to a decaying shack. You will never know the exact situation of my seizure. Your dumbass can only sit behind the computer and fantasize horrible things happening to me, like how you fantasize horrible things happening to any Kiwi that hardcore owns your ass, such as @Dr. Merkwurdichliebe, @HSMOF, and @Le Bateleur. See, you're a pathetic joke with no power. You can't actually do anything to hurt us. You're only capable of hurting yourself lol. It would be sad if you weren't a gigantic asshole.

Second, I've already been through college... and didn't get kicked out. Uh-oh, there goes your argument about me getting accepted. Pay attention boi! Jonny, we're all not living with our moms like you are.

Also, what? When the fuck did people start discriminating against people with epilepsy you retarded manchild? Your lack of understanding of how the real world works is showing again. Dude, you spend your days watching cartoons, you don't know shit about universities or insurance. As the Doc said, you might be literate to a degree, but you don't know the meaning behind words. You only have a basic understanding dipshit. Now run along Jonny, you're not fit to comment on shit. You're a retarded child in the body of a disgusting 40 year old man. Why don't you go harass your mommy for a ride to decapitate the meanies mocking you over the interwebz.

Jon, life has kicked the shit out of you. You have no right to be picking fights with others. Without a metal pipe, a simple punch from someone would have your ass on the ground crying like a little bitch. I imagine you squealing like a pig through your sobs of pain. Oh Jonny, you make me laugh.

Shit, you only bring out the worst in people ya freak.

tl; dr: Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Turkey-Lurkey.

tl;dr: You're retarded as shit Jon Sweet. Also, Turkey-Lurkey? Your insulting pet-names only show off your autism bro.

 

[The Mountain]

Fun fact: there's evidence to suggest Julius Caesar had epilepsy. Nothing concrete, but some historical records have phrasing suggesting he was prone to seizures brought on by any number of things. Julius motherfucking Caesar, the man who made Rome an empire, reshaped the calendar we still use today, and suffered one of the most well known assassinations in human history.

In fact, let me take a minute to deconstruct some of this buffoon's other misunderstandings of ancient cultures.

The odds of any random peasant being made a lord were worse than winning the lottery while being struck by lightning and attacked by a shark. The idea that being "clever" would be enough to guarantee anything is laughable. Pretty much everything was determined by your blood. You were either born a noble or not, and being elevated to nobility would only be done by actually accomplishing something. Typically this would have meant somehow having the chance to directly impress your local lord or distinguishing yourself in war.

Honestly, one of the greatest tragedies of the feudal period (and many periods of the past) would be the loss of countless potential academic greats who never got a chance because they were unlucky enough to be born common.

"Wizard" wasn't really a thing, though let's be kind and say alchemist instead. Alchemy was considered a legitimate branch of study centuries ago, and laid the foundations for what became chemistry. However, Sweet has shown his personal scientific abilities extend to trying out crackpot shit debunked long ago like the pyramid idiocy and not understanding why piss doesn't kill weeds. The pyramid thing would have been a potential avenue of study back then, but back then there would have been nobody around to tell Sweet about it, so he'd have never actually even made it that far.

Cleric? Sweet extols the virtues of the Church about as well as Ed Gein. It's considerably more likely that he'd get himself excommunicated for wiping his ass with a Bible.

Oh, going back to the lordship idea real quick: unless you're a king or emperor, you still had a boss in the form of your direct liege. Being a lord wasn't just sitting in a keep all day and doing jack shit. You had to work. You had to be an administrator, see to the collection of taxes, not cheat your liege in the paying of said taxes, and raise your levies and march off to war whenever your liege called on you to.

There is one noble Sweet has an uncanny resemblance to, however...
Behold: Charles II of Spain

 

[Sanae Kochiya]

Sweets, if you want people to take you seriously, you should stop talking about how you wanted to kill other people.

That tends to turn people off.

 

[Shadow Fox]

Well, the phrase "repeatedly baffled Christendom by continuing to live" is certainly fitting of Sweets.

 

[AJMLurker]

I really love Jon's use of the word "disabilities" in his rant against me. I also love how he implies it's nigh impossible for someone with epilepsy (and black skin) to get into a university.

Hey Jon, guess what? You got into university. And you were a far bigger insurance risk considering your mentally instability.

I think people with epilepsy will be fine.

 

[Adamska]

I really love Jon's use of the word "disabilities" in his rant against me. I also love how he implies it's nigh impossible for someone with epilepsy (and black skin) to get into a university.

Hey Jon, guess what? You got into university. And you were a far bigger insurance risk considering your mentally instability.

I think people with epilepsy will be fine.

He's just pissed he's intellectually inferior to them colored folk that he through autism and absorbed racism learned is not as good as whitey. That and he's a pathetic bitch who tries to take advantage of others' disabilities to make them shut up. Case in point he tried spinning depression barbs at @Holdek last I checked.

Doesn't matter considering he's never going to get his autistic revenge fantasy.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

I really love Jon's use of the word "disabilities" in his rant against me. I also love how he implies it's nigh impossible for someone with epilepsy (and black skin) to get into a university.

Hey Jon, guess what? You got into university. And you were a far bigger insurance risk considering your mentally instability.

I think people with epilepsy will be fine.

His mocking of people with epilepsy gives me yet another reason to loathe him.

When I was in middle school -- and taking those English classes that he couldn't pass today -- one of my friends had epilepsy. I was assigned to sit next to him so that I could render assistance if he had a seizure. (The desks we sat in were miniature torture devices.) He was a nice guy, and so much smarter than Sweet that there is no analogy capable of making a comparison that would adequately describe the distance separating them.

And then there's the racism.

My nephew and namesake is married to a black woman. I have a "mulatter" great-nephew. I'm beginning to think that the New Black Panthers might find Sweet's various hideouts on the Internet of interest. I'm sure he'll be happy to get more traffic on his sites. Maybe some of them will be so impressed with his work that they'll drive to Blytheville and visit him.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

So Jon is now removing comments. If you look under his journal post from the 8th (I believe it was) there are two hidden comments. "Hidden by owner" to be exact. Those were mine calling him out on "lovable rascal." For someone so against TV ratings he sure does love his censorship. Sweets just can't handle the realness.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

So Jon is now removing comments. If you look under his journal post from the 8th (I believe it was) there are two hidden comments. "Hidden by owner" to be exact. Those were mine calling him out on "lovable rascal." For someone so against TV ratings he sure does love his censorship. Sweets just can't handle the realness.

I notice that your last comment on his post of Nov. 16 is also hidden. You have to click on the link reading "(1 reply)" to see it. What a little coward.

On the post for Dec. 8, I don't see any "Hidden by owner" notices. But the comments counter says there are 11 comments, and there are only 9 visible. Maybe the "hidden" notice is only visible to you, since you're the author.

 

[John Titor]

So Jon is now removing comments. If you look under his journal post from the 8th (I believe it was) there are two hidden comments. "Hidden by owner" to be exact. Those were mine calling him out on "lovable rascal." For someone so against TV ratings he sure does love his censorship. Sweets just can't handle the realness.

He's such a typical liberal!

 

[AJMLurker]

His mocking of people with epilepsy gives me yet another reason to loathe him.

Normally Jon's painful ignorance and stupidity doesn't phase me, but I was actually taken aback by his response to me. For two reasons:
1. I didn't expect senpai to notice me. He's usually busy tarding out about you or @HSMOF or @DrChristianTroy. It was a surprise to see him directly respond to me since he never does.
but the more important reason,
2. I was not prepared to see him use my seizure as a way to bash epileptic people.

I can handle Sweet mocking me for my skin color. I expect his 19th century view of black people so I can easily laugh him off when he starts going off about "da niggos", but seeing his painful ignorance toward epileptic people made me lose my composure (and NOT for the reason that Sweet thinks). That's why I retaliated to his crap by bringing up his autism as many times as I could.

The fact that this idiot actually believes that epileptic people are seen as second-class citizens and are actively discriminated against, wow, just wow. What a grade A retard. Sweet, I know you're special, so I'll make this clear. Epileptic people are not actively barred from colleges or jobs. They're not seen as problems on society. Thanks to modern medicine, epilepsy can be treated and people can live productive lives with it. Also normal college students do not haze the epileptic kid at college despite what your sick mind believes. If you were to try to haze someone because of their epilepsy, the result would not be pretty for you Jon.

BTW Sweet, this was my first seizure ever and I most likely don't have epilepsy. My doctors believe the seizure was brought on by a combination of stress, lack of sleep, being malnourished, and being on my ADHD medicine at the time. So believe it or not, you're really not attacking me with your spiel against epileptics.

There is actually an AJMer who has suffered multiple seizures though. I don't know the specifics, but seizures have been a problem for him. @Treenbeen knows who I am referring to here. If anything, Jon's spiel against epileptics is an attack against him, not me.

Needless to say, profound ignorance is not something I play around with. You have reveal what a true ignorant fuckjob you are Jon with your view of epileptics. Jesus, you truly are stuck in the 1800's, aren't ya? I've been avoiding saying this, but you need a lobotomy and fast Jon.

Also dumbass, you are under the impression that a black person with epilepsy would not be able to make it in this society. Jason Snelling and Danny Glover say hi bitch!