🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[Le Bateleur]

A pack of dogs near his car was enough to make him give up on the idea of ever driving a motor vehicle. I expect he wanted to learn to use a gun once, but there was an owl nearby.

 

[John Titor]

Is there anyone in the states who doesn't have a bank account*? It feels like one of those things you can't have without like a social security number.

* Discounting the obvious like the homeless or undocumented immigrants, etc.

 

[Ti-99/4A]

Is there anyone in the states who doesn't have a bank account? It feels like one of those things you can't have without like a social security number.

:powerlevel: I know quite a few people who don't and they're all rather "special" and have to have someone else at the helm or they'd have no money by the 2nd of the month.

 

[DrJonesHat]

It's possibly to get by without a bank account, but more expensive(check cashing places charge fees, etc) in the long run, so anyone that can open up an account does so usually. Also a lot of employers are moving to direct deposit, so it's getting harder. Most will give you a debit card if you ask, but those have fees, so a bank account is the way to go.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

the super-edgy insults he uses

I like how a 40-year old man is using little emoticons to highlight just how ANGRY he is. As for the insults, it almost looks like that to make an "insult," he just draws a couple of words from a Fedora Of Edgy Insults.

His obsession with Canada being a CFL free zone just kills me.

This wouldn't be the first time Sweet thought that countries more "progressive" than the US somehow have more traditional technology. Early in this thread, Sweet honestly thought that the EU wasn't switching to DTV, and when someone pointed it out, he thought there would be riots in France and he made sure to say something in French about how "change is bad."

And once again, Sweet is asking people on the internet for free stuff in an oh-so-subtle way. But remember, the differences between CWC and Sweet are vast.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Perhaps Sweet suffers from picquerism. Since he's never had sex, and is now old and infirm, he likely suffers from erectile dysfunction.
Since Sweet is incapable of traditional sexual acts, he channels them through his knife.
When he writes about wanting to stab other men, what he's really saying he's that he'd love to have sex with them.
@DrChristianTroy he doesn't want to kill you, he wants to sleep with you.

 

[Shadow Fox]

Is there anyone in the states who doesn't have a bank account? It feels like one of those things you can't have without like a social security number.

I thought banks required a minimum monthly balance for a checking account, which is a deterrent to people who don't have enough money left over after bills to maintain the bank's minimum balance.

 

[DrJonesHat]

There are checking accounts available that do not require a minimum balance. But opening one usually requires a photo ID and minimum deposit to open, and I suspect Sweet is lacking in one of those requirements.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Sweet really does just go back to the same few topics all the time. Progressives. ASU. The Herald. Light bulbs. TV. Bodily functions.

You could talk to Sweet about something else, like quasars or ancient Greek pottery, and assuming his eyes don't glaze over because he "doesn't give a shit," he'd probably try to somehow bring the conversation back to at least one of those few topics.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

Jonny the retarded maniac just keeps on giving during the most wonderful time of the year:

Entitled Faggot said:
The work itself should determine the right gift to send along.

In your case, your work merits an army of venomous spiders that crawls out in waves to inject hemotoxin into your face from a box I found in the dumpster. Or brain medicine. Either or really.

@Adamska, for a while now I've been meaning to put up an off-topic post telling you how much I enjoy your work. It won't be long before Jon threatens to decapitate you. But you'll have to wait your turn when Jon the Autistic Impaler takes to the road with his six-inch boning knife to begin his killing spree.

Maybe you'll even receive a special honor.

Spoiler: A Back Yard in Blytheville

 

[DrJonesHat]

I like how a 40-year old man is using little emoticons to highlight just how ANGRY he is. As for the insults, it almost looks like that to make an "insult," he just draws a couple of words from a Fedora Of Edgy Insults.


This wouldn't be the first time Sweet thought that countries more "progressive" than the US somehow have more traditional technology. Early in this thread, Sweet honestly thought that the EU wasn't switching to DTV, and when someone pointed it out, he thought there would be riots in France and he made sure to say something in French about how "change is bad."

And once again, Sweet is asking people in the internet for free stuff in an oh-so-subtle way. But remember, the differences between CWC and Sweet are vast.

Sweet really can't envision anything outside the little shithole he calls home, can he? Most people (that is, normal folks) welcomed the DTV transition because it meant better picture and MORE channels. Seriously, I don't have cable, I have a good quality digital antenna and I get like 40 channels. Granted, I'm in a medium-sized city, but still. Of course, I learned how to program my TV so it would get all the channels that were available to me. Oh and Sweet, some of these new channels? They play shows from the 90s. Sometimes earlier. It's rather neat.

 

[The Mountain]

Remember when Sweet first came to this thread, and claimed that it seemed like a good place to "sharpen (his) claws?"

Poor bastard had no idea what he was getting himself into, and I don't have the words to express how happy I am that he made that mistake.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

It's rather neat.

So are you saying that the reason Obama Cable works the way it does in the Sweet house is because of Sweet being technologically incompetent? Nah, it's totally gotta be the progressives at ASU somehow messing with Sweet's TV reception.

 

[DrJonesHat]

Sweet is such a repellent character that I suspect his family has no inclination to help with things that baffle him (nearly everything).

 

[ToroidalBoat]

It's interesting that he fixates on bladed weapons

Would YOU sell a gun to someone with sociopath tendencies who can't let go of old grudges for almost 20 years and counting?

Also, @Holdek could add "has made death threats" to the list of similarities in the OP.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

Retarded Hillbilly said:
The machine detective Clyde Umney describes in the story probably looked a lot like the T-1000 model laptop you see here on the left-- to him, a man from the world of half-past 1938 (give or take a couple of months), a futuristic gadget ripped straight from a Buck Rogers comic strip... to someone from 1987, spiffy and new but fairly commonplace... to someone in 2005, a laughably antique piece of hardware.

The difference is Umney was from a time where the most advanced piece of electronics on hand were vacuum tubed radio systems. He also was from the time when the Buck Rodgers serials were at their zenith. You were raised when televisions were a thing, the star wars and trek existed, the birth of video game systems just happened, and stuff like the BBC Micro and ZX Spectrum were around. You honestly have no excuse, especially if you rented or owned the newer 90's disney movies, which had ads for bloody computer games. Hell, they also had ads for computers at that time. You have no excuse for your laughable affinity towards tech.

This is the second time -- that we know of -- that Sweet has lifted something from a Stephen King piece without having any understanding at all of the context within which King used the word or phrase. And he also used King having made the same error to excuse his stupidly writing, in the crime against literature known as "The Second Mrs. Pecker," that arsenic smells like bitter almonds.

Remember the novelette The Kestron Lenses, in which Sweet has Southern college students running around saying ayup all the time? Same damned thing. If a King character can say ayup in Maine, then Sweet, who is deaf to idiom, regionalisms and much else in the language, can have his characters saying ayup in Mississippi. If King writes a piece set the in the 1930s and has a character reference "Buck Rogers technology," Sweet, utterly oblivious to context, can use the phrase in 2015 and then pitch a tardraging conniption fit when someone points out that the phrase is almost an archaism. Blunders like these, common in all of Sweet's work, are doubtless related to his stunted theory of mind, which others have commented on with considerable insight in this thread.

And it's so like Sweet to refuse to admit that he's made an error and move on. Instead, he defends his blunders as if his life were at stake. Has he ever acknowledged making a mistake?

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Has he ever acknowledged making a mistake?

When Sweet does realize he's wrong, he normally just doesn't speak of it anymore, from what I've seen.

For example, I don't see him trying to defend "Tin Boo Tee" as being a legit Japanese name anymore.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

Incapable of Rational Though wrote

. . . I was learning to use computers that, to a kid used to hammering out stories on an old typewriter that required a lot of finger strength to depress the keys (hence my somewhat indelicate touch) . . .

Yes, Jon, you have no fine motor control and pound on delicate equipment like a spastic gorilla because you once had to use an old typewriter.

Sort of like these keyboard-mangling specimens of Homo neanderthalensis:

Spoiler: Typing Hard. Destroy Muscle Control. Make Angry.

 

[AnOminous]

Done and done.

He also has some words about my Black Friday comments.And do not mention my father that way again.

It's ugly, disrespectful, and a sure-fire ticket to a slashed throat.

This from the pussy who sat and did nothing as his mom was beat up by black guys.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

He says black guys, but as we've learned: Sweet is a liar or a plagiarist.
Given the incidences of domestic violence Sweet has taken on his own brother, would it really be a shock if Jon was the one who beat up his own mother and the family story became it was a gang of black men?