🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[ToroidalBoat]

Why respond to accusations of sociopathic tendencies when one can address referring to stuff as "Buck Rogers technology?"

Also, "peckerheads?"

 

[Adamska]

Oh boy more Jonny boy assache caused by his crippling cowardice and retardation. Let's dig into this succulent morsel.http://haggismccrablice.deviantart.com/art/120215-Buck-Rogers-technology-575698481

I used this fairly common (so I thought) phrase casually one time in my blog, and the peckerheads at the Other Forum demanded to know what it was all about.

Well duh. You're using a term that pretty much only people who are now dead use. Jonathan Mack Sweet, the guy who is mentally six, physically 40, appears to be sixty, and spouts shit a centenarian would say. I could bring him into a side show as Mr. Anachronism, or alternatively as the Thumbfaced Manchild. PT Barnum would stiff me a lot of good money for him back in those days though, I guarantee.

I first saw it in Stephen King's short story "Umney's Last Case".

Congratulations, you proved just how illiterate you are. That short story took place in the fucking 1930s. Y'know, back when TV didn't exist outside of experimental models, the jet wasn't here, and rocketry was just in its infancy. This was before A/C units were invented, the Ford Packard was fashionable, and computers were pretty much electro-mechanical beasts.

If you had basic comprehension skills, these would all be things that you'd notice.

I was in college at the time--right about, in fact, when I was learning to use computers that, to a kid used to hammering out stories on an old typewriter that required a lot of finger strength to depress the keys (hence my somewhat indelicate touch), did indeed seem like Buck Rogers technology, so I could relate.

Most people can actually notice and change how they touch things after a few false starts. You've stayed a retarded neanderthal that smacks things for 20 years. This doesn't excuse the fact that you're an irresponsible jackass regarding your machines. As for your bafflement on the existence of computers, this is a classic case of being an unimaginative clod.

The machine detective Clyde Umney describes in the story probably looked a lot like the T-1000 model laptop you see here on the left-- to him, a man from the world of half-past 1938 (give or take a couple of months), a futuristic gadget ripped straight from a Buck Rogers comic strip... to someone from 1987, spiffy and new but fairly commonplace... to someone in 2005, a laughably antique piece of hardware.

The difference is Umney was from a time where the most advanced piece of electronics on hand were vacuum tubed radio systems. He also was from the time when the Buck Rodgers serials were at their zenith. You were raised when televisions were a thing, the star wars and trek existed, the birth of video game systems just happened, and stuff like the BBC Micro and ZX Spectrum were around. You honestly have no excuse, especially if you rented or owned the newer 90's disney movies, which had ads for bloody computer games. Hell, they also had ads for computers at that time. You have no excuse for your laughable affinity towards tech.

As an aside, that piece of hardware would not be common until the very, very late 90s or early 2000s. It took years for laptops to become viable for widespread market consumption. Mainly due to issues in battery power, pricing, and functionality. In 1987, you'd be considered rather rich for owning something like that.

It's all about perspective. The right-hand picture is a picture of a modern laptop I tore from one of last year's Black Friday sales circulars-- the one I bought is an HP, not a Toshiba, but minor cosmetic differences from brand to brand aside, essentially the same.

There's also the specs, aspect ratio, and functionality to consider too bro. Then again, you think a computer from the 1990s still works fine in spite of it being so limited it can't do shit.

So why not call it "Star Trek technology" or "Star Wars technology"? Well, if they start selling matter transporters, phasers (real ones), or light sabers (not plastic toys) at Wal-Mart, I will.

By this logic, you shouldn't use Buck Rodgers since rockets that can take you to other planets can't be bought at car dealerships. Also lol Star Trek tech can be bought at Walmart.

That old flip-phone you use? It's a bloody communicator you twit. Hyposprays? Jet Injection came first. You can buy tasers, which are just shittier permanent stun setting phasers now. Universal translators? Google translate. Telepresences? Skype video conferences.

So fuck you your point is retarded and you'll either monofocus on those elements to avoid being wrong or just quietly run away again you big baby.

'Til then, I'll stay withthis turn of phrase.

I already showed you how retarded you are by listing off genuine stuff that became real. So... yeah.

I don't do a lot of Star Trek or Star Wars jokes because, quite frankly, everybody's doing them, and they get boring. I think maybe once I referenced Star Wars in the comic, and it was just an excuse to show a female character in that skimpy gold Leia bikini.

More like you didn't because it wasn't on TV immediately. That and the fact that you only bother referencing Carrie Fisher's assets tells me a lot about your understanding of the films and you as a person.

I liked the first three films, but I was indifferent towards The Phantom Menace (or, as I once dubbed it ,"The Fandom Menace"), and was so soured by it I never watched the second two prequel films.

Congratulations, you picked up what the average Star Wars fan feels. You actually have a point of commonality with others. That's fucking impressive since you tend to be so out of touch.

Midichlorians, my butt. Why do another Star Wars parody? I think between Mel Brooks' Spaceballs and Family Guy, it's pretty much covered.

Force Awakens? Damn dude, you do live under a rock. That's a genuine movie. Just... this has nothing to do with anything but show that outside of children's shows you like at least one neckbeard staple and a show designed for middle schoolers.

Star Trek? Sure, I've seen it. It's good, but I'm not as fanatical about it as some. In issue #76 the gang crashes the movie set for the new "Star Drek" film, and I mentioned elsewhere my idea for a gag about Nurse Chapel and Mr. Spock that I ended up cutting... but I think that's about it for refs. I think Animaniacs did all the good Trekkie jokes 20 years ago.

And this makes me suspect you never watched either and only know of them through osmosis. Then again, you did cotton onto a referenced romance in the OG series so I'll ignore said suspicion.

But you know what Buck Rogers has that neither of the other two can boast?

More cheese than ADF eats in a day?

One, Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny, Barney Rubble, and Woody Woodpecker, as well as scores of other characters) as Twiki the Robot, and, two, that choice piece of ass Erin Grey. Hey, for a doll like her, being stuck 500 years in the future would be almost worth it.

I like how you can only defend the show by referencing children's shows you still watch and through being a creepy sex weirdo. At least you ogled a person who was over 20 this time.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

By the way, I looked up "peckerhead." It means an "aggressive, objectionable person." I think it's time for a certain Kiwi to call the irony police again.

[Sweet thinks the new Star Wars movie is a parody]

Maybe Sweet thinks that because the rights to the franchise have been acquired by Disney, it's not by Lucas anymore, therefore it's a parody somehow? See, this is why Sweet needs that hip young assistant around to tell him these things.

 

[CatFace]

But peckerhead just sounds much more fancy than dickhead.

What are you saying Sweet? These words are too smart and from a way better time than I. I need you to explain in depth all of your vocabulary. If only the world was as glorious as '97 and I would be able to look up anything unfamiliar on some sort of search engine.

 

[Shadow Fox]

Maybe Sweet thinks that because the rights to the franchise have been acquired by Disney, it's not by Lucas anymore, therefore it's a parody somehow? See, this is why Sweet needs that hip young assistant around to tell him these things.

I think that by "another Star Wars parody" he means why should he make another one, instead of doing, I don't know, another Scooby-Doo parody or another Lion King parody or any of the other 675437437 tired, unfunny parodies he's already done in his comic.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

By the way, I looked up "peckerhead." It means an "aggressive, objectionable person." I think it's time for a certain Kiwi to call the irony police again.

Done and done.

He also has some words about my Black Friday comments.

1) Give it time, and keep reading, ass-cracker. I've been wanting to suggest for some time now adapting one of ASU's ideas here at deviantArt. I say we offer something similar to The Herald's rewards system for its writers. I know we have a virtual badge system in place, but if you really like a contributor's work, why not show your love by mailing them small tokens of appreciation? You'll often find your favorite blogger or artist frequently drops hints about what they enjoy or need n their work. The work itself should determine the right gift to send along. For example, a artist who does portraits of their favorite celebrity might like to receive a magazine with a photo spread of their idol (possibly of the nudie variety). A blogger who talks about a particular consumer item might enjoy seeing one sent along to them, free. Back when I was a columnist, my rant against CFL's would likely to score me a box of incandescent light bulbs smuggled fresh from some secret stash deep in the Canadian wilds. And of course, for those artists whose needs and likes are tougher to read from their work, cash donations are always welcome. It's perfect for those who don't have a credit card/bank account number to join sites like PayPal or Patreon but would like to earn something for their efforts. just like All they need is a p.o. box to get started, and they can start raking in the goodies just like the writers for the local college rag do. Think of it as an exchange program for struggling dA artists.

2) I am not a child predator. Shut up with that crap. We took my little niece to see Santa Claus. She was two at the time. We all posed for that pics with Santa. It was fun. Looking back, I realize it was our last happy memory with that douchebag Dale around. And do not mention my father that way again.

It's ugly, disrespectful, and a sure-fire ticket to a slashed throat.

 

[Rin]

Done and done.

He also has some words about my Black Friday comments.

1) Give it time, and keep reading, ass-cracker. I've been wanting to suggest for some time now adapting one of ASU's ideas here at deviantArt. I say we offer something similar to The Herald's rewards system for its writers. I know we have a virtual badge system in place, but if you really like a contributor's work, why not show your love by mailing them small tokens of appreciation? You'll often find your favorite blogger or artist frequently drops hints about what they enjoy or need n their work. The work itself should determine the right gift to send along. For example, a artist who does portraits of their favorite celebrity might like to receive a magazine with a photo spread of their idol (possibly of the nudie variety). A blogger who talks about a particular consumer item might enjoy seeing one sent along to them, free. Back when I was a columnist, my rant against CFL's would likely to score me a box of incandescent light bulbs smuggled fresh from some secret stash deep in the Canadian wilds. And of course, for those artists whose needs and likes are tougher to read from their work, cash donations are always welcome. It's perfect for those who don't have a credit card/bank account number to join sites like PayPal or Patreon but would like to earn something for their efforts. just like All they need is a p.o. box to get started, and they can start raking in the goodies just like the writers for the local college rag do. Think of it as an exchange program for struggling dA artists.

2) I am not a child predator. Shut up with that crap. We took my little niece to see Santa Claus. She was two at the time. We all posed for that pics with Santa. It was fun. Looking back, I realize it was our last happy memory with that douchebag Dale around. And do not mention my father that way again.

It's ugly, disrespectful, and a sure-fire ticket to a slashed throat.

Does he seriously think that most artists are more likely to have a p.o. box than a bank account? Or that they'd prefer nigh-worthless trinkets to actual money? Or that sending cash donations by mail is at all a good idea? Not that it matters - the suggestion is entirely self-serving. The only one who would possibly get any sort of benefit is Sweet himself. It's seriously ridiculous how much he wants to recreate his college "paradise."

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Sweet no one but us reads your shitty comic. Read is too kind of a word as it's more indecipherable than Sonichu. And no one here or any where is going to send you anything. I know autism, but that wasn't a reward system. That was trolls sending you shit much like they sent Chris shit (only some people have actually sent Chris money/gift cards and actually buy his crap).

Given how touchy he is getting about DS, I bet he died of embarrassment after finding out what Sweet was doing at ASU.

 

[Le Bateleur]

You'll often find your favorite blogger or artist frequently drops hints about what they enjoy or need n their work. The work itself should determine the right gift to send along.

It's ugly, disrespectful, and a sure-fire ticket to a slashed throat.

Yet another death threat from Sweet Bro. Now, what would be an appropriate "gift" to post to someone who is always making death threats?

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Yet another death threat from Sweet Bro. Now, what would be an appropriate "gift" to post to someone who is always making death threats?

Living life as John Sweets.

EDIT-Oh and I know it's been covered, those lightbulbs. It's always about those fucking lightbulbs. Amazon motherfucker, use it.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

He also has some words about my Black Friday comments.

1) Give it time, and keep reading, ass-cracker. I've been wanting to suggest for some time now adapting one of ASU's ideas here at deviantArt. I say we offer something similar to The Herald's rewards system for its writers. I know we have a virtual badge system in place, but if you really like a contributor's work, why not show your love by mailing them small tokens of appreciation? You'll often find your favorite blogger or artist frequently drops hints about what they enjoy or need n their work. The work itself should determine the right gift to send along. For example, a artist who does portraits of their favorite celebrity might like to receive a magazine with a photo spread of their idol (possibly of the nudie variety). A blogger who talks about a particular consumer item might enjoy seeing one sent along to them, free. Back when I was a columnist, my rant against CFL's would likely to score me a box of incandescent light bulbs smuggled fresh from some secret stash deep in the Canadian wilds. And of course, for those artists whose needs and likes are tougher to read from their work, cash donations are always welcome. It's perfect for those who don't have a credit card/bank account number to join sites like PayPal or Patreon but would like to earn something for their efforts. just like All they need is a p.o. box to get started, and they can start raking in the goodies just like the writers for the local college rag do. Think of it as an exchange program for struggling dA artists.

Does this mean we all have to drive to Blytheville and hammer pennies between his door and the jamb so he and his mom can't get inside? Will there be a table by the door where we can leave our discarded pee jars? Should the defaced posters be folded or placed in tubes before they are left as tribute?

I think that covers all of the "rewards" he received at ASU.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Does this mean we all have to drive to Blytheville and hammer pennies between his door and the jamb so he and his mom can't get inside? Will there be a table by the door where we can leave our discarded pee jars? Should the defaced posters be folded or placed in tubes before they are left as tribute?

I think that covers all of the "rewards" he received at ASU.

You forgot pity. A lot of people pitied the retarded kid they let on the school paper.

 

[DrJonesHat]

I imagine the phrase "what the fuck is wrong with him" was uttered frequently whenever Sweet inflicted his presence on people.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

Yeah, that "piece of ass" comment was pure slimy cringe. Fits the theory he's a closet homosexual or bisexual, and he's going out of his way to act like he thinks a straight man would.

Along the same lines, I wonder if Sweet's rabid racism is intended to divert suspicion from the possibility that he is -- as he would almost certainly phrase it -- a "high yaller." His physiognomy is far from what anyone would consider classically Caucasoid. When Sweet was -- as he has phrased it -- just a little "pickaninny," did his parents move to a different part of the country so they could improve their socio-economic standing by trying to pass as white?

 

[Goofy Logic]

Back when I was a columnist, my rant against CFL's would likely to score me a box of incandescent light bulbs smuggled fresh from some secret stash deep in the Canadian wilds.

His obsession with Canada being a CFL free zone just kills me. Incandescent lights have been steadily phased out in Canada, and with the acclimatization of CFLs and LEDs as well as their dropping prices, the outcry has been nonexistent.

I for one welcome our mercury vapor and silicon overlords. Sweet will probably have to smuggle light bulbs from China if he wants light bulb bug zappers.

 

[Adamska]

Jonny the retarded maniac just keeps on giving during the most wonderful time of the year:

1) Give it time, and keep reading, ass-cracker.

The fact that you couldn't even fend off dogs while you were inside of a car indicates the level of sheer patheticness you are Sweets. You're such a pathetic cowardly retarded man that even if you did ambush someone, you'd run away or fail to kill them.

I've been wanting to suggest for some time now adapting one of ASU's ideas here at deviantArt.

Oh boy, let's see how his schizophrenia and brain damage links stuff the college never had as a part of their program to the stuff that happened to him. This should be fun.

I say we offer something similar to The Herald's rewards system for its writers.

You mean the same "rewards" that were designed to troll you? Y'know, like locking you out of your room by jamming the door with pennies, or how about giving you intentionally damaged posters to mock your worth?

I know we have a virtual badge system in place, but if you really like a contributor's work, why not show your love by mailing them small tokens of appreciation?

Because money is a far better token. Plus your work is utter trash.

You'll often find your favorite blogger or artist frequently drops hints about what they enjoy or need n their work.

First off, that already exists. Second, you don't need shit like reruns of Charlie Brown on vhs or a ruined playboy magazine to write. This is just shit they want, and it's rarely a part of their "job",

The work itself should determine the right gift to send along.

In your case, your work merits an army of venomous spiders that crawls out in waves to inject hemotoxin into your face from a box I found in the dumpster. Or brain medicine. Either or really.

For example, a artist who does portraits of their favorite celebrity might like to receive a magazine with a photo spread of their idol (possibly of the nudie variety).

Artist: "Uhh... thanks, but I already have a copy of it. Some money would've been better honestly."

A blogger who talks about a particular consumer item might enjoy seeing one sent along to them, free.

Blogger: "I have like two of these already, since you know, I did a blog on it. Stop sending me this plskthx."

Back when I was a columnist, my rant against CFL's would likely to score me a box of incandescent light bulbs smuggled fresh from some secret stash deep in the Canadian wilds.

No, what would've happened is you'd get a box of intentionally damaged bulbs, none of them working. Plus your tard wrangler would likely rip the stupid shitty uninformed piece of garbage from your hand and put it into the futuretech paper shredder you never saw since it was so shit.

And of course, for those artists whose needs and likes are tougher to read from their work, cash donations are always welcome.

This requires your product to be worth money Sweets. It fucking isn't and will never be. And honestly most people prefer dosh over gubbins anyway, since the dosh can snag the gubbins.

It's perfect for those who don't have a credit card/bank account number to join sites like PayPal or Patreon but would like to earn something for their efforts.

You'd have kept control over your tugboat if you weren't so gullible and fell for every fucking scam in the book to try and earn quick bucks you tard. You are a grown man and yet this is where you are at.

just like All they need is a p.o. box to get started, and they can start raking in the goodies just like the writers for the local college rag do. Think of it as an exchange program for struggling dA artists.

The only reason you bring this up is due to you being assmad over the fact you were so retarded you lost control of your welfare check you wannabe GOP supporter. Even most retards can control their own money, so this makes you just pathetic.

2) I am not a child predator. Shut up with that crap.

Who is the creepy fucker who lusts after teenager ass? The one that wrote about how they ripen young? The one who fucking faps to Kim Possible? The one who tried making child porn? You. That's who.

We took my little niece to see Santa Claus. She was two at the time. We all posed for that pics with Santa. It was fun.

You'd have been an utter creep if she was 13 and you know it creep.

Looking back, I realize it was our last happy memory with that douchebag Dale around.

You're the only one in the family who is still mad, and it was only because of the fact that he allowed them colored folk into that fine establishment and treated you like an employee.

And do not mention my father that way again.

It's ugly, disrespectful, and a sure-fire ticket to a slashed throat.

Since you couldn't even properly murder your drugged out brother in an ambush situation while armed, I'll just say this: Your father died full of regret over spawning you. The only reason he was remotely happy with how his life went, in spite of your existence, is the fact that he had other sons to be proud of. When you were born, he was genuinely terrified over the legacy he would leave.

You don't scare me since I literally know you're an utter chickenshit who'd only fight back if he had something like a gun to even out the odds. Even in those circumstances I'm not that afraid, since I know you'd get the worst of it by the time is over. Not due to me beating you like a drum, even though I reckon my 6'6'' ass could do it quite easily. But because even if you somehow managed to gun me down or get lucky, you'd be carted off to a shitty prison in the boonies of Arkansas, suffering a fate worse than death. So keep crying bitch, your family suffers far more than you do.

 

[DrJonesHat]

@DrChristianTroy how many times has he threatened you with cutting of some sort? Two, three now? Also, I love how Sweet has positioned himself as some sort of expert on the world of half-past 1997. I'm about four months older than Sweet, so I was a young adult in that bygone era as well, and I can tell you he has a very...unique view of how things were back then.

 

[Ruin]

It's interesting that he fixates on bladed weapons in his threats rather than firearms. Actually I don't think I've ever heard him talk about guns which is weird considering gun rights are really important to right wing types.

 

[wheat pasta]

Ass-cracker?
Brilliant, just brilliant.

We need to make a glossary of all the super-edgy insults he uses.

 

[Adamska]

It's interesting that he fixates on bladed weapons in his threats rather than firearms. Actually I don't think I've ever heard him talk about guns which is weird considering gun rights are really important to right wing types.

Guns are Buck Rodgers technology that Sweets screams is too hard to use without someone telling him how to use it. That and his one source for guns (since he flunked the notcrazy test) are black people, and black people are scary ninjas who can lynch you in the blink of an eye with Gun-fu while singing Jim Crack Corn and I Don't Care in Sweet's mind.