How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Core Theorist]

I'm getting glad that even if I can't bring myself to exercise regularly, I'm starting to be able to do it at random at least, like, you know, spontaneous even if I'm not consistent. So I got that going for me. Well, we all need to count our blessings anyway, right? I'm still reasonably happy my health isn't any worse. It could have definitely gotten way, way worse.

 

[Otterly]

realize just how fucking unfair it is that my father busted his ass for years, and gave me the childhood I took for granted at the time, is going to die.

I’m sure you already have, but in the time you have left, tell him that. Tell him how much you appreciate him, and all he did for you. Parents totally understand that kids don’t see this stuff as kids. We do t actually want our kids to see it, we want it to be normal for them. Just tell him, if you haven’t already. It’s a lesson to learn, that’s all you can do
I hope you get as much good time with him as life allows.

 

[PetiteFeet]

New monitor is fantastic but it is HUGE. Who knew what difference a couple of inches and 10+ years between monitor changes makes.
My sister and my nieces are coming to visit, so I need to load up on things I can do with the both of them.
The weather is fantastic and the birds are singing. It's enough to make one forget why the morning started poorly.

 

[Burning Bridge]

This is very interesting because I get this and I’ve never heard anyone else describe it. I assume it’s the body and mind keeping you alert to some false perceived danger. falling asleep? danger!

I've never heard anyone else describe it either and it despairs me to think it's because that most people that encounter it are either dead or drugged into oblivion.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

I’m sure you already have, but in the time you have left, tell him that. Tell him how much you appreciate him, and all he did for you. Parents totally understand that kids don’t see this stuff as kids. We do t actually want our kids to see it, we want it to be normal for them. Just tell him, if you haven’t already. It’s a lesson to learn, that’s all you can do
I hope you get as much good time with him as life allows.

My mom is already getting demented in very obvious ways like forgetting I've got.. cat beds on my walls? The one place my cat is all day? Ever since I said I'd take a motorbike license, she started talking about her bikes and "oh I was in that ditch there on my suzuki haha", but I just can't bring myself to ask her or talk about it. Whenever I'm with her, I revert to the childhood dynamic of "no, mom. stop, stop saying dumb shit about strangers loud enough that they can hear". Every time we're together I tell myself "Okay, no getting mad. You got nowhere else to be or do. just don't be annoyed". I get annoyed within a day.

My dad however, we talk a lot. Especially now that I'm getting into motorbikes which dominated his life. We went on a walk some time ago and talked a bunch, he straight up said "imagine wasting your life here" when we were at the harbor where he worked and lived on a boat for decades (and still do). I know nothing of his finances or hopes or anything but he's clearly rotting away in his retirement. Hope we can get some rides together next summer when I've hopefully got a license and bike. But hey, given our luck, they'll both die before then.

Upgrading from 24" to 28" which might not seem like a lot but I don't have a ton of desk space.

Meanwhile I built a pc capable of 120 fps (with a 120hz monitor) for my sister that hasn't seen use once. I remember building it, wiping something off with a fiber cloth and a pin on the cpu got caught and bent. I had another cpu but I forget if it was stronger? I actually think it was. Anyway: Full-ass PC just not being used. Sucks. Man I wish I could help more people with shit, not even financially. I like cleaning up and throwing out. I hear coworkers help each other clean out and I'm just like "you mfers dont even do the dishes?". Give me a tard wife to take care of.

 

[JanuaryViolet]

I just can't stop binge eating after I arrive home from work,

I suspect that you (like me) have a really stressful job where it's important to be absolutely correct while doing very time-pressured tasks. I empathize totally with this. It's almost as though you are instictively trying to build back the strength you've expended that day (mental, physical, both). This is definitely sabotaging my own efforts to lose a few pounds, and I know how ridiculous it feels - there's something in your brain stem that's trying to counteract what work takes out of you. I wish I had an answer. I know reading/looking at the deathfats chastens me a bit, and I try to remember that. but there's something twinging the limbic system here that needs to be solved. Good luck.

 

[Betonhaus]

I wasn’t paying attention and the last couple days I have definitely had too much salt and I’m feeling it. It’s really hard to avoid having too much of it.

 

[Irregardless]

I’m sure you already have, but in the time you have left, tell him that. Tell him how much you appreciate him, and all he did for you. Parents totally understand that kids don’t see this stuff as kids. We do t actually want our kids to see it, we want it to be normal for them. Just tell him, if you haven’t already. It’s a lesson to learn, that’s all you can do
I hope you get as much good time with him as life allows.

Thankfully I have several years ago, but you're right that I should do it again/make sure he remembers.

It's just so fucking weird being an adult in this situation, being able to understand the fears he's likely experiencing.
I also don't really think it's set in for me yet that he might die either. It doesn't help that we don't have a timeline, but even still, I feel like I've been coping really hard trying to pretend everything is still somewhat fine, and I worry how I'll feel when I actually start getting news on a timeline.

 

[Otterly]

I feel like I've been coping really hard trying to pretend everything is still somewhat fine,

The bit where you go from coping it’ll be fine to knowing it won’t be but that you have to carry on anyway, is tough. You never know with most types of cancer - some they can give you a pretty accurate guess of how much time you have, but not all. Hope for the best, act as if time is short is all you can do. I am so sorry, life’s just brutal sometimes,

 

[Head Muggle]

Did the classic blunder. I bought trousers on the internet.
Big surprise?!? They don't fit. Now I have spent some money on expensive fabric I need to send back.

I'm feeling very stupid.

 

[PetiteFeet]

Meanwhile I built a pc capable of 120 fps (with a 120hz monitor) for my sister that hasn't seen use once. I remember building it, wiping something off with a fiber cloth and a pin on the cpu got caught and bent. I had another cpu but I forget if it was stronger? I actually think it was. Anyway: Full-ass PC just not being used. Sucks. Man I wish I could help more people with shit, not even financially. I like cleaning up and throwing out. I hear coworkers help each other clean out and I'm just like "you mfers dont even do the dishes?". Give me a tard wife to take care of.

I'm single and a tard.
I mean what.

 

[long waters]

New monitor is fantastic but it is HUGE. Who knew what difference a couple of inches and 10+ years between monitor changes makes.
My sister and my nieces are coming to visit, so I need to load up on things I can do with the both of them.
The weather is fantastic and the birds are singing. It's enough to make one forget why the morning started poorly.

Be careful, size is an addiction... I keep adding a few inches every 3-5 years. I'm at like 31 and a half inches nowadays.

 

[Helping Friendly Book]

My cat died yesterday. RIP to this little fella. Hope he has all the best luxuries a cat could ask for in heaven.

This photo is him from a few years ago, back where I used to live. I miss him already.

 

[PetiteFeet]

Be careful, size is an addiction... I keep adding a few inches every 3-5 years. I'm at like 31 and a half inches nowadays.

So you're saying you're a Size King.

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

I talked to the head boss this morning after the dude went in on me immediately upon entering the building.
Gave her three papers of documentation, two Big Gulps of mine he'd written a nickname on and told her some of the stuff that happened recently I didn't get around to documenting.
I told her plainly and simply that I called out last week not because of any emergency but that I honestly thought I was going to do something that would to him that would cost me my job. I then elaborated and told her plainly that I was getting to the point that I will throw him off his fucking forklift, in those words.
Told her that he is a vital reason why they're short staffed and that no one with any self respect will work there long when people like him continue having any leeway, and that will all respect to her, I didn't even know if me doing this would do anything long term.
Even said I didn't know if I could state how long I was going to work there regardless because of my living situation.
I put it all out there because I figured I had nothing to lose.

He was immediately fired.

Wow. That was not something i expected. I kind of felt guilty because he'd been tgere a while and was on good terns with a good chunk of people there. I told her afterwards that wasn't the goal I was going for and that I didn't want to screw them over in the middle of the summer. She told me this was a long time coming and that I was just the last straw, it had happened to everyone but i was the only one who came prepared with a lot of documentation and proof, and that she's personally immensely relieved. Told me to let her know if I need any help finding apartments.
Rest of the day was a lot quieter. Started actually writing down locations of everything and really practicing at my job. Felt a lot easier. Crazy how easy a job becomes when you dont have to have that presence bearing down on you.

So... Thank you HR cat lady? Good to actually have one on my side. Didn't ever think that I'd have a cut and dry handling of a situation like that ever. Honestly was expecting anything but that. Like...
REALLY???!!!
Okay, I'll take it.

So yeah, I got a black dude fired on Juneteeth.
Haha motherfucka Haha!

 

[Getmeout]

As embarrassing as it is I feel like I’m going to cry, why is it literally impossible to get a job. I stopped admitting I was black cause that made them turn me down fast, then I stopped admitting I had a disability, and now I’m at a point where I pretty much can’t admit anything or else they’ll turn me down. And they still turn me down. Ugh.

 

[Troon Petty and the 41ers]

Cleaned the carpets for the first time in a year and a half today. It's kinda gross to even admit that it's been so long, but my place does look and feel nicer. It didn't feel like some momentous, onerous task either, and that makes me suspect that I'm nearing the end of this episode. Please keep your heads up, pals. Where there's life, there's hope.

 

[Skelboen]

I just had a weird few weeks where my ~70yo dad showed up out of nowhere and slept on my couch and made himself at home out of nowhere. For context, they're all devout Jehovahs Witnesses and I'm the black sheep of the family that drinks and smokes and lives way out in the bush at least two days drive away. It was really inconvenient for him to show up with no warning and expect hospitality, but forced me into a mode where I cleaned up the house and cooked proper meals and acted civil for the first time in ages. I was really close to suicide for a few months and didn't realise how bad things were getting. It reminded me that I'm capable of being a nice and functional human that people want to spend time with

Me being an emo cunt wasn't the reason for the visit, it was some Jovo shit where they're doing the whole "End of days thing" again and he had some existential meltdown. It's good to know that people older than me still wig out over wack shit

My cat died yesterday. RIP to this little fella. Hope he has all the best luxuries a cat could ask for in heaven.
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This photo is him from a few years ago, back where I used to live. I miss him already.

RIP little fleabag. This is my recently Deceased Animal tax. This filthy old creature almost made 40

 

[PetiteFeet]

This filthy old creature almost made 40

Impressive age for a horse!

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

As embarrassing as it is I feel like I’m going to cry, why is it literally impossible to get a job. I stopped admitting I was black cause that made them turn me down fast, then I stopped admitting I had a disability, and now I’m at a point where I pretty much can’t admit anything or else they’ll turn me down. And they still turn me down. Ugh.

It's hard. What kind of job are you looking for?

And you're right to pull back on disclosure of personal qualities or characteristics. Companies don't care about your situation or your special qualities. They want a worker who shows up, does a good job, and won't be a hassle. Unless you're applying through a special diversity or neuro-divergent or disability program, that's not stuff to lead with.