Final Fantasy XIV - Kiwi Free Company

[Gravemind]

Oh no, thousands of horse-cuck mount and ports from coomer K-MMOs are at risk of being stolen from hard working modder's pay-tree-onns, what a horrible thing!



Lmao, cant wait for this to pick up the drama spergery on twitter now, i hope this community keeps on giving such gold before it dies horribly somehow

It's already becoming one of the larger trashfires in XIV's community at the moment. It's fun to watch.

 

[The Zekenator]

For all you hardcore raiders out there, boy do I got a deal for you that will ensure peak efficiency. You can join a 12 man static where you shall battle for the most static credit score by showing up first one hour ahead of raid schedule start times. Don't worry Experienced Veteran Raid Leader Master SYSTEM SENPAI has the system for you. Welcome to the ROYAL CATURAE LEGION

Let me break this all down for you so you just race your way into this group.

Spoiler: System "Zekenator" Senpai tries to sell you a brand new car, I mean static.

All 12 members are MAIN members, and we will all run each piece of content twice to ensure all 12 of our members get loot for the week.

This method improves reclear efficiency by doing it more times per week. Therefore it is gooder.

Now you might be saying to yourselves. "System Von Senpai, Master 1.0 Raider, this sounds really dumb and a waste of time." Now you see you fucking Twitch lords and FFlogs parsers, this is where you are wrong we have 3 very distinct advantages over all other commonly formed 8 man statics.

1: This improves our chances to actually raid by having benchwarmers extra mains to run every role in case someone is missing. Now you might be now thinking, "Well what if one person is less skilled at the particular phrase we're on?"

2: We ensure the static feels like job-like by ensuring that people can miss raid days for emergencies and personal issues without sacrificing the raid's performance. Because we here as System Senpai Industries understand that everyone here is a child who can't comprehend the idea that people have lives, and therefore we need benchwarmers to ensure we can always raid, lest our onry Warrior and White Mage mains don't rage quit the static over being inconvenienced. See our raid schedule on page 4 to understand just how not job like we really are.

3: Our party set up is First Come First Serve and therefore whoever shows up earliest gets to raid first, and this methodology is how we ensure tranquility and peace of mind throughout the static. This encourages people to be on time by giving them gold stars and always access to loot because they can afford to show up five minutes earlier than anyone else. Everyone else will have to just get into our reclear one chest runs because they were fucking late by showing up 5 minutes into our 1 hour raid formation window unlike 8 other people who could camp Discord.

We also have a player rotation system where we will switch members in and out based on gamer fatigue accumulated from our very efficient raid progress. We here at RCL understand that people get pooped playing Cat Girl Simulator: 2023 for two hours so we will accommodate for you by potentially bringing in four different people who have merely been watching us play for the past 2 hours to replace you to ensure we can keep playing to the best of our ability.

To ensure loot will be fairly distributed to all members we will be using LOOTMASTER of a trusted individual. I've personally tested this and it works very well.

Now just because we want to have less of a job feel than other statics doesn't mean we can't lay down some ground rules mkay? Lemme break them down for you.

Turn up before start time

You are late if you are not on discord before the start time even if we have all 8 people.

You are extremely late if you are not available by the first break.

You will be marked No-Show if you do not show up and will receive no static credit points for that day.

If you are a No-Call-No-Show twice you are fired, because we are not a job.

If you must report your absence no later than 24 hours before the start time, or you are considered No-Call-No-Show. We are not a job, but we are a union, please understand.

Do note you are expected to be playing with your fellow raid members during off raid hours for the sake of gaining synergy and efficiency during clears. We are not a job, but we are a legion. If you are not with the legion your time will be VERY SHORT LIVED in the legion.

~ White King, Codename: Raja, aka Iron Giant, aka I am an FFXI boomer, signing out. ~

But if you don't believe my effectiveness and peerless leadership, please hear a word from our sponsor Bald Man.

Well I'm sure joining, is anyone else?

 

[Fcret]

The reason why the European servers have less degeneracy is that they all flock to NA.

 

[Rungle]

god dammit i wanted the very cool music box playing Flow but i cant order it in the EU.
atleast i got the loporrit figurine.

 

[Dave.]

Ver archivo adjunto 5010406
The reason why the European servers have less degeneracy is that they all flock to NA.

My predictions will come true. Mark my words.

 

[Kheapathic]

-SNIP-

This dude, he's dishonest if presenting this straight, or doesn't know what the fuck he's doing; the amount of hypocrisy/double speak in his advertisement (or whatever it is) is stunning. There's no need to reinvent the wheel; MMOs have been around for a good while and the communities have figured this shit out through trial and error. Also, I've been lucky enough to be allowed to be late during raid nights, but not because me (the IRL human) was special; it's because the WoW server I played on had the lowest Mage count in like, the entire world, so we were kinda rare... and you can't clear the first boss of Gruul's Lair without a properly equipped Mage, so it's not like my position was something they could just get from Trade Chat. Look man, shit's picking up at work, I'm gonna be somewhere between 10 to 30 minutes late; I'm not gonna tell my Gunny to fuck off becuase I got videogames to play, just form up, clear trash, and I'll fucking be there to tank Krosh.

And that fucking "must play nice outside of raid hours" shit; no... you set the hours, I'll raid, I'll pass out food/water, I'll even give a portal to Shattrath, Dalaran, or whatever, but after that, I'm fucking gone. I'll have my gear repaired and consumables stocked by the next raid time, what I do between now and then is none of your business. But if you really want a team building exercise; Hey guys, I got the quest for the Polymorph Turtle spell, anyone want to help me with ZG?

 

[Gravemind]

And that fucking "must play nice outside of raid hours" shit; no... you set the hours, I'll raid, I'll pass out food/water, I'll even give a portal to Shattrath, Dalaran, or whatever, but after that, I'm fucking gone. I'll have my gear repaired and consumables stocked by the next raid time, what I do between now and then is none of your business. But if you really want a team building exercise; Hey guys, I got the quest for the Polymorph Turtle spell, anyone want to help me with ZG?

This just reminds me of the shitter that dragged down my old static years ago, who was willing to provide raid food for everyone, but at the cost of forcing the people who accepted it to "work for him" and do the grindier things he didn't want to do so he could recomp whatever he spent to make the food in the first place. And the problem with that was, he was constantly running up a tab on everyone so that it was technically impossible to pay him back, but he was actually making his food on the cheap and basically just making bank on other people grinding stuff for him anyway.

Faggot unironically constantly bragged about how many "slaves" he owned by doing this, then wanted to get mad at other people for holding progression back when he was the lowest performer (regularly managing lower DPS on average than the fucking healers) who was the slowest to learn and adapt to mechanics. But nobody wanted to kick him out because "he gives us food and he has clout".

I will probably never stop repeating that story. It still bugs the shit out of me.

 

[Kheapathic]

This just reminds me of the shitter that dragged down my old static years ago, who was willing to provide raid food for everyone, but at the cost of forcing the people who accepted it to "work for him" and do the grindier things he didn't want to do so he could recomp whatever he spent to make the food in the first place. And the problem with that was, he was constantly running up a tab on everyone so that it was technically impossible to pay him back, but he was actually making his food on the cheap and basically just making bank on other people grinding stuff for him anyway.

Faggot unironically constantly bragged about how many "slaves" he owned by doing this, then wanted to get mad at other people for holding progression back when he was the lowest performer (regularly managing lower DPS on average than the fucking healers) who was the slowest to learn and adapt to mechanics. But nobody wanted to kick him out because "he gives us food and he has clout".

I will probably never stop repeating that story. It still bugs the shit out of me.

I wish my MMO stories were as innocent as that; damn near all the fucking weirdos in guilds I knew of were all sex pests, trying to steal girlfriends/wives and shit from other members or other weird shit like that. Plenty of tards who couldn't do mechanics and cliquish shit of course; but all the serious plotters and schemers, fucking homewreckers, the lot of them. One even broke up the guild, looted the bank, and realm transferred when he was found out. Worst part was, dude wasn't an incel or ugly or anything; had a good job, exercised/fit, etc... just got a thrill from doing shit like that, and for some reason, took it online instead of keeping it IRL.

 

[Gravemind]

I wish my MMO stories were as innocent as that; damn near all the fucking weirdos in guilds I knew of were all sex pests, trying to steal girlfriends/wives and shit from other members or other weird shit like that. Plenty of tards who couldn't do mechanics and cliquish shit of course; but all the serious plotters and schemers, fucking homewreckers, the lot of them. One even broke up the guild, looted the bank, and realm transferred when he was found out. Worst part was, dude wasn't an incel or ugly or anything; had a good job, exercised/fit, etc... just got a thrill from doing shit like that, and for some reason, took it online instead of keeping it IRL.

That's one of the few normal ones I have on hand. I could also tell stories about how my first FC leader had some sex/validation-addiction issues, which ultimately caused him to lose his fucking mind over time because a lot of the """women""" he kept trying to e-date in XIV were the usual kind of socially manipulative, super-woke types that always had to be stirring shit, thus prompting him to occasionally white knight for them in public, ruin his own reputation further, and spiral harder, especially when the """women""" he was simping for would inevitably walk all over him and dump him.

That one kind of hurts to remember, because the guy was originally the friendliest person you could've ever met and constantly bent over backwards for other people. But, you know, he ended up being TOO nice, and it ended up being to his own detriment. Rarely have I seen someone put themselves through that much hell due to their own good intentions, but hey. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

The only reason I know for a fact that he was trying to be knee-deep in some "online pussy" is the fact that I accidentally walked in on him cybering with one of the most notable girls once when he thought nobody was online and in the FC house. I just gave him a healthy degree of shit for it for laughs, but that guy got REALLY assmad at me in that moment.

And I think I've told the story about how that FC was ultimately ruined by clique bullshit and homewreckers – in one such case, some bitch who decided to BE a homewrecker just because I wouldn't show her the attention she wanted, and proceeded to accuse other female friends of mine of being homewreckers themselves.

 

[Übertroon]

Ver archivo adjunto 5010406
The reason why the European servers have less degeneracy is that they all flock to NA.

That's a lot of red flags in one image.

Also how come so few streamers do treasure hunts in this game? It has the excitement of gambling without having to put money into it, and you can easily turn a group of four people with three maps each into an entire evening of content

 

[Gravemind]

That's a lot of red flags in one image.

Also how come so few streamers do treasure hunts in this game? It has the excitement of gambling without having to put money into it, and you can easily turn a group of four people with three maps each into an entire evening of content

Is there any steamers that actually try to find randoms for content like that? It feels like the sort of thing streamers don't or won't do due to the aspect of potentially inviting parasocial bullshit into it – like what happened with Asmong when he was initially just making PFs to run content.

Probably also some degree of greed going into it. Someone may stir shit because they won a roll on something dropped from the chests/map dungeons and someone else wanted it instead. XIV people already do mental gymnastics to cause trashfires over other things as it is, and I'm sure that insanity only gets worse if you factor in rare/exclusive crafter mats that ONLY drop from map dungeons.

 

[The Zekenator]

Speaking of crazy FFXIV group stories. My raid group at the time actually kicked our Machinist back in early SB because she cheated on her husband which we sort of knew personally but not on any deep level. Basically she used to be a land whale supposedly, and started going to the gym and became relatively hot or something. So she started getting attention from men at the gym, and confidence in herself with it. So she kind of enjoy that attention a little too much, you can probably piece the coming story.

We started to get murmurs from the husband that he saw iirc dick picks and two way flirty chats on her phone from people who saw how hot her ass was looking at the gym or something. This kept going for sometime which the husband took for a while. supposedly the excuse was that the husband was in the military (which he was) and because he kept leaving the wife was like "He doesn't pay enough attention to me waaaah." and felt justified in seeking attention from men who found her attractive. To make this doubly worse, they have a kid, I think he was somewhere around 5 to 8 when this happened. She was kind of a bitch to him when they were raiding, pretty much telling him to go away whenever he walked in while she was playing which we heard a number of times for about 3 tiers. The husband to my understanding got at least shared custody.

She apparently regretted nothing once she got found out and once we figured all this out we pretty much got rid of her ass out of moral obligations. Oh, she was also kind of dog shit too and she's about as typical "dumb white blonde" as you can imagine over voice so it wasn't a hard loss. I also wouldn't be shocked if she was a Karen from how she talked.

 

[Gravemind]

Now this may offend certain parties of the fairer sex who are regulars in this thread, but, I must declare from both experience and observation that women and XIV are a particularly potent mix of batshittery, even by MMO standards.

Then again, I know a guy who married a woman at least 10-20 years older than him because she was the first one that ever threw some pussy his way, and they met through WoW. And now she's constantly putting him into debt because she wants to constantly drag him on vacations he can't afford. So maybe it really is more of an MMO thing in general, and I'm just letting confirmation bias convince me that XIV has a higher concentration of Crazy Bitch.

Hard to tell the difference sometimes.

 

[CharcoalChkn]

Now this may offend certain parties of the fairer sex who are regulars in this thread, but, I must declare from both experience and observation that women and XIV are a particularly potent mix of batshittery, even by MMO standards.

Then again, I know a guy who married a woman at least 10-20 years older than him because she was the first one that ever threw some pussy his way, and they met through WoW. And now she's constantly putting him into debt because she wants to constantly drag him on vacations he can't afford. So maybe it really is more of an MMO thing in general, and I'm just letting confirmation bias convince me that XIV has a higher concentration of Crazy Bitch.

Hard to tell the difference sometimes.

It's because girls in MMOs have major GOTIS even though it has not been a special occurrence to encounter a woman in a game for at least 10 years. Ewhores are a dime a dozen these days.

 

[Dave.]

Now this may offend certain parties of the fairer sex who are regulars in this thread, but, I must declare from both experience and observation that women and XIV are a particularly potent mix of batshittery, even by MMO standards.

Then again, I know a guy who married a woman at least 10-20 years older than him because she was the first one that ever threw some pussy his way, and they met through WoW. And now she's constantly putting him into debt because she wants to constantly drag him on vacations he can't afford. So maybe it really is more of an MMO thing in general, and I'm just letting confirmation bias convince me that XIV has a higher concentration of Crazy Bitch.

Hard to tell the difference sometimes.

Why the FUCK would you marry a woman who is 20 years older than you? It would be like marrying my mother.

 

[Bonedome]

The reason why the European servers have less degeneracy is that they all flock to NA.

Isn't that the dude that made the mage videos on WoW?

Also slightly on topic: How hard is this game to get into now? I've quit halfway through Stormblood twice as I'm a retard that makes a new character when I return to "experience the story."

 

[Gravemind]

Why the FUCK would you marry a woman who is 20 years older than you? It would be like marrying my mother.

Like I said, kissless virgin ended up falling for the first woman to have sex with him and decided to throw a ring on it ASAP. It's sad because I always figured the guy was smarter than that.

Also slightly on topic: How hard is this game to get into now? I've quit halfway through Stormblood twice as I'm a retard that makes a new character when I return to "experience the story."

So braindead easy that the only people who still struggle with XIV at this point are the people who expect to be hand-held completely and for the game to play itself.

 

[Kheapathic]

Now this may offend certain parties of the fairer sex who are regulars in this thread, but, I must declare from both experience and observation that women and XIV are a particularly potent mix of batshittery, even by MMO standards.

Then again, I know a guy who married a woman at least 10-20 years older than him because she was the first one that ever threw some pussy his way, and they met through WoW. And now she's constantly putting him into debt because she wants to constantly drag him on vacations he can't afford. So maybe it really is more of an MMO thing in general, and I'm just letting confirmation bias convince me that XIV has a higher concentration of Crazy Bitch.

Hard to tell the difference sometimes.

You're not wrong, but I knew a number of MMO males who are/were also to blame for that behavior. You go to a 25-man raid, and maybe need to sub a few characters who couldn't make it, so you find replacements. In game, there's a wide assortment of male/female characters, when you get on vent, there's like 20+ dudes and 2-3 actual girls. Even if it doesn't come out in voice chat, there's whispers going back and forth about OMG A REAL GIRL! As for FF14, I figure their women are crazier but that's because the userbase is far more progressive than other MMO communities. If the males are insufferable (and they are), the females are gonna be worse.

And most of the shit I ever got was from other dudes, because there was shit going on behind the scenes I didn't know about; so I make what I thought was one little innocuous comment, and next thing I know I'm getting whispers from a dude saying he'll fly to San Diego to come find me and fucking kill me. All during a raid too, good times.

 

[Fcret]

Isn't that the dude that made the mage videos on WoW?

Also slightly on topic: How hard is this game to get into now? I've quit halfway through Stormblood twice as I'm a retard that makes a new character when I return to "experience the story."

Yes. His entire schtick was playing the red-haired gnome girl ironically or some shit. But actually it was just latent troonery waiting to spring forth.

Game isn't hard to get into. Stop restarting. The game is going to refresh your memory when it brings shit back up from hundreds of hours ago anyway. If you want fun refresher videos to watch, then the MFSQ videos from Misshapen Chair on youtube are fun and informative.

Now this may offend certain parties of the fairer sex who are regulars in this thread, but, I must declare from both experience and observation that women and XIV are a particularly potent mix of batshittery, even by MMO standards.

Then again, I know a guy who married a woman at least 10-20 years older than him because she was the first one that ever threw some pussy his way, and they met through WoW. And now she's constantly putting him into debt because she wants to constantly drag him on vacations he can't afford. So maybe it really is more of an MMO thing in general, and I'm just letting confirmation bias convince me that XIV has a higher concentration of Crazy Bitch.

Hard to tell the difference sometimes.

I think it's just an MMO thing in general. I'm acquainted with a woman who met her husband through LotRO and... she's probably in this camp from what little of her personality I've experienced.

 

[Gravemind]

Update on the Accursed Hoard situation: The owner decided to delete the site.

Tweet / Twitlonger / Archive

Spoiler: Twitlonger screenshot

Basic gist is, guy got flooded with pushback from "lesser earner" modmakers and let himself get guilt-tripped into backpedaling. Him and his mod team decided to try and formulate a compromise in which they wouldn't allow people to pirate certain mods as long as the creators agreed not to use predatory tactics to sell their mods and to release their mods for free eventually. He even put up a poll asking the community whether they should go ahead with this compromise. 70% voted yes, a very vocal 30% voted no. He decided to shut it down anyway despite the majority ruling out of "moral disagreements".

So, basically, the guy acted like he was going to make a big difference and stick it to those pesky, greedy modders, but ended up proving spineless at the slightest amount of backlash he got from it.