Schaffer decided to go full "I hate niggers" today on "Juneteenth" when it's Happy Rosenberg Day instead but that's not about this. Since I'm just a dumbass that likes to focus on the legal aspect of things. He had a hearing earlier this week where the judge dismissed his divorce petition / dissolution hearing which kicks it back to Texas now.
So Palm Beach court that Monday (dismissal for lack of jurisdiction). He lives in Frisco. He filed in Florida anyway because he didn't want to wait for Texas' 6 month residency requirement. Now he’s on stream performing like he’s still stuck in Boca fighting for his life. Whatever.
Quick legal frame so the clips make sense — not a docket dump:
• Wilkins suit — federal, still in settlement conference as of mid-May (5/6 and 5/12 conferences, negotiations ongoing).
• Denton custody (26-1148-362) — the real kids case. Frisco. He didn’t show for a hearing, caught a default, got it set aside, now supervised possession. Texas and Florida judges were literally on the phone coordinating who had jurisdiction.
• Palm Beach divorce — he swore he lived in FL six months; filings show he was in Texas. Dismissed even after he was cross examined.
He knows all of this. The clips are him performing for no reason because it doesn't matter as the case is dismissed.
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│ "Even my lawyer called me today and said, apparently it's like a federal holiday."
He wants you to know he’s still got a lawyer while wearing a do-rag. Won’t say which case — Wilkins settlement? I doubt it. Dead Florida divorce? Denton custody? Vague on purpose. Schaffer always keep it fuzzy.
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│ "I lived in Boca Raton in Florida."
│ "It's not safe here anymore. And that's why I moved out too."
Past tense. Honest for once. He left. Court papers say Frisco since November 2025. This is the clip that makes the rest of the episode embarrassing — he already told you he’s gone.
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│ "that's why I moved out too."
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│ "In this environment, like I am... Well, I can't move because I'm in a custody battle."
Present tense. Trapped by minorities and litigation.
He moved. The custody fight is in Texas, where he’s pro se half the time and already got defaulted once for not appearing. "Can’t move" is just him LARPing for whatever audience he has — same guy who broke a Delray lease and shipped his studio to Collin County. He’s not stuck. I guess he chose the stuck story because it sounds harder and earns sympathy?
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│ "I'd like to take next steps in this in this case that I'm involved in."
Monday his Florida divorce got thrown out. Thursday he’s asking for next steps like nothing happened. He skips it and complains about the federal holiday blocking him and as usual pretending the dismissal didn’t happen. Something to note which Palm Beach County was indeed closed for the holiday.
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│ "I live next to a Kabbalist sorcery training center in Boca Raton."
│ "They have those. They're really cool. I love going."
"I live." Present tense. After he said he moved out.
There is a Jewish center nearby which is the Helen & Irvin Spatz Foundation / Boca Raton Jewish Experience High Holiday services. All they do is do synagogue outreach.
He rebrands that as Kabbalist sorcery training because the Jews!!!.
Again he doesn’t live there anymore. He lives in Texas. He was in Florida court Monday and lost. He still says live in Boca even though he said he moved out in this episode.
│ "I learned that you don't want the people you love being friends with Kabbalists..."
From the man who can’t keep his own story straight for one episode.
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Full compilation