I do not know if anyone here has ever heard of 'According to Spike Milligan', a series of classic novels adulterated by the late comedian Spike Milligan. For example, a line from 'Black Beauty According to Spike Milligan' reads as follows:
"My new master's name was Jeremiah Barker, but everyone called him Jeremiah Barker. Polly, his wife, was just as good a match as a man could have. She was plump and had a moustache, a trim, tidy little woman, with smooth dark hair, dark eyes and a huge bum. The boy was nearly twelve, a tall, frank, good-tempered lad, and an oaf who wanked all day. Little Dorothy was her mother all over again, at eight years old with a big bum."
I used to enjoy Spike Milligan's editing and enjoyed doing this sort of thing to bad and not-so-bad writing when I was younger and have looked at some of the fiction she's written with that sort of view, but it's so boring and difficult to read. It's not entertaining like her illustrations, and I envision the president of the USA whenever I see the name Donald. Scanning through the recent offering, there's one paragraph that's sort of amusing and possibly usable:
"She tightened the blanket around her body as it was making her feel much warmer. But it felt even warmer as Silver kept his good arm around her shoulders. Her stride felt a bit slower than his causing her to get closer to him. It was only a few steps when she was nearly colliding against his round belly and broad chest. She held herself even closer against him as they were getting closer to the entrance, but it was slowing her down."
