DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[MC Law]

I feel like copypasta doesn’t hit like it used to. My current go-to is repeating his biggest insecurities and triggers ad nauseam. He makes it so easy.

Like what are you gonna do try and tell me the bitch isn’t huge?

He did recently ban the word Moobs from his kick chat.

 

[SilkyJohnson]

It’s not just that he “talked shit”;
Right now there a massive bug that’s hitting majority of player’s in-game audio, but this lumpy faggot neither pays attention to what he plays, nor could figure out that two RANDOM people had the same issue and INSTEAD chided them both for HAVING SHITTIER ASMONGEAR SET-UPS THAN THE HE, THE KING. He literally lorded his new gear over them as an own, the fucking worthless pleb poors. That was his shit talk.
The autistic albino Somolian then went on to pontificate: hmmm the poor mic hardware MUST be a trolling thing all PVP players partake in to really insult people on the kill over in hardcore pvpville …

I can’t believe this man exists.

There is a delicious irony in the fact that Phils internal moral system is purely materialistic, valuing wealth and the perception of wealth above all.....and his fate is to be an e-beggar hermit till the day he dies.

 

[Martys_not_smarty]

Doesn't have to be a meme. Just use something from his past.

"Phil Burnell was caught jerking off to gay porn by a tranny"
"Phil Burnell jerked off on live radio to impress a girl"

"Leanna may or may not have been under 18 when she and Phil started macking but 1. he was 30 and 2. Leanna was still in high school".

 

[CopingSneedingDentractor]

I think the fact that he again said he has "pecs" now and not moobs while I can visibly see his droopy tits while he is telling me what I see is not real is a good statement on his current level of disconnect with reality.

Recently, I've been listening to some restreams a bit more and I heard him mention something I've heard him say a few other times that made me stop and think wait what? He takes like 20-30 minute breaks after the prestream copecast and according to him takes his wife for walks. He talks about her like an animal(to be fair she pretty much is). He gets pissed when he leaves for like half an hour that people don't stay to watch the stream. How on Earth could you expect somebody to do that?

Other streamers will take breaks but it's just going to the bathroom or getting a drink or something normal. Why would you leave for so long and then come back and tell your audience, that is 95 percent detractors, that you're just fucking around doing nothing or taking your wife for a walk like a dog. It's one of those things where if that is true it's fucking weird and stupid and if it's not true what the fuck are you doing? I recall him in the past quite literally saying that on the 20-30 minute break he just took he was just laying on his bed. Does that seem like a good use of stream time? Does it seem like a good way to keep an audience? It's just mind bending behavior from someone who claims to be an entertainer of some sort. This may be shocking but I think Phil Burnell might be retarded!

 

[Braowbun]

I cannot believe this absolute nigger is doing a 30 minute in-depth comparison of like 5 different gamer wrist rests. I'm losing my fucking mind.

The joke was and will always be on us
In his mind
He's not wrong 67% of the spazzing we do

 

[Braowbun]

Fire hazard electric situation, with foam and particle board right next to it, and the smoke detector removed from that room because it was chirping.

This fuck will outlast us all. Not joking. Even in critical care in a coma, Khet will keep him plugged in for $$$
Plus Then Linda and Dave can sign away his thwarted organs away for financial science

 

[Pargon]

I think the fact that he again said he has "pecs" now and not moobs while I can visibly see his droopy tits while he is telling me what I see is not real is a good statement on his current level of disconnect with reality.

Recently, I've been listening to some restreams a bit more and I heard him mention something I've heard him say a few other times that made me stop and think wait what? He takes like 20-30 minute breaks after the prestream copecast and according to him takes his wife for walks. He talks about her like an animal(to be fair she pretty much is). He gets pissed when he leaves for like half an hour that people don't stay to watch the stream. How on Earth could you expect somebody to do that?

Other streamers will take breaks but it's just going to the bathroom or getting a drink or something normal. Why would you leave for so long and then come back and tell your audience, that is 95 percent detractors, that you're just fucking around doing nothing or taking your wife for a walk like a dog. It's one of those things where if that is true it's fucking weird and stupid and if it's not true what the fuck are you doing? I recall him in the past quite literally saying that on the 20-30 minute break he just took he was just laying on his bed. Does that seem like a good use of stream time? Does it seem like a good way to keep an audience? It's just mind bending behavior from someone who claims to be an entertainer of some sort. This may be shocking but I think Phil Burnell might be retarded!

If he was moderately entertaining and a pleasant person he could cut his stream time in half and still do better in terms of both viewers and donations. From the amount of trolling he receives to the amount of how clearly he hates getting out of bed in the morning, everything in his life would be improved if he just was not such a cunt to everyone, everywhere, all the time.

There are many people who have legitimate gripes with the world in terms of the lot life gave them. Phil Burnell is not one of these people. He has precisely zero reason* to be so thorough a bitch.

*excluding shit that’s often really buried like CSA, Phil went to a Catholic high school after all

 

[Burn In Hell Burnell]

I think the fact that he again said he has "pecs" now and not moobs while I can visibly see his droopy tits while he is telling me what I see is not real is a good statement on his current level of disconnect with reality.

Recently, I've been listening to some restreams a bit more and I heard him mention something I've heard him say a few other times that made me stop and think wait what? He takes like 20-30 minute breaks after the prestream copecast and according to him takes his wife for walks. He talks about her like an animal(to be fair she pretty much is). He gets pissed when he leaves for like half an hour that people don't stay to watch the stream. How on Earth could you expect somebody to do that?

Other streamers will take breaks but it's just going to the bathroom or getting a drink or something normal. Why would you leave for so long and then come back and tell your audience, that is 95 percent detractors, that you're just fucking around doing nothing or taking your wife for a walk like a dog. It's one of those things where if that is true it's fucking weird and stupid and if it's not true what the fuck are you doing? I recall him in the past quite literally saying that on the 20-30 minute break he just took he was just laying on his bed. Does that seem like a good use of stream time? Does it seem like a good way to keep an audience? It's just mind bending behavior from someone who claims to be an entertainer of some sort. This may be shocking but I think Phil Burnell might be retarded!

I just assume he's lying at least 90% of the time in these cases. His existence is definitely so bizarre that I wouldn't be too surprised if it turns out it was all true, and that he really is just doing all that weird shit, but the taking Kat for a walk thing is usually what defies my belief to the point I think he's just lying because he thinks it sounds good. Like what the fuck kind of walk are you taking in 10 minutes? Why are you doing it in the middle of a stream instead of getting up with her and doing it to start the day, or after the first stream? And do you really expect anyone with a brain to believe that fat blob is taking walks?

No, but he does know Kat's weight is something he gets clowned on a lot, and while he knows he can't bring her on stream ever again, he can <<imply>> she's working on her weight and is a swimsuit model again, ackshually!

I'd put odds on his "break" really just being him sitting on the broken toilet doing pulls in whatever mobile game he's flushing most of his money into these days. Not a bold theory these days I know, but a tried and true one.

 

[GibMoneyPls]

I think the fact that he again said he has "pecs" now and not moobs while I can visibly see his droopy tits while he is telling me what I see is not real is a good statement on his current level of disconnect with reality.

Recently, I've been listening to some restreams a bit more and I heard him mention something I've heard him say a few other times that made me stop and think wait what? He takes like 20-30 minute breaks after the prestream copecast and according to him takes his wife for walks. He talks about her like an animal(to be fair she pretty much is). He gets pissed when he leaves for like half an hour that people don't stay to watch the stream. How on Earth could you expect somebody to do that?

Other streamers will take breaks but it's just going to the bathroom or getting a drink or something normal. Why would you leave for so long and then come back and tell your audience, that is 95 percent detractors, that you're just fucking around doing nothing or taking your wife for a walk like a dog. It's one of those things where if that is true it's fucking weird and stupid and if it's not true what the fuck are you doing? I recall him in the past quite literally saying that on the 20-30 minute break he just took he was just laying on his bed. Does that seem like a good use of stream time? Does it seem like a good way to keep an audience? It's just mind bending behavior from someone who claims to be an entertainer of some sort. This may be shocking but I think Phil Burnell might be retarded!

He does these things on purpose. He really thinks he's flexing power over other people. Too bad it's the only pathetic power he will ever have in life.

 

[Coke Zero]

I recall him in the past quite literally saying that on the 20-30 minute break he just took he was just laying on his bed. Does that seem like a good use of stream time? Does it seem like a good way to keep an audience? It's just mind bending behavior from someone who claims to be an entertainer of some sort.

Phil is an insane control freak so knowing there are people sitting around doing nothing waiting for him to come back is one of the few sources of happiness he has in his life. Its important to remember also that phil hates his own fans more than any of us do. His entire "job" is bilking these people out of as much money as possible by any means necessary. He loves the idea of asserting any kind of control or dominance he can on these people. I think every day for him is a battle of being the biggest asshole he possibly can be to them without actually pushing them away for good.

 

[PetiteDragon43]

This fuck will outlast us all. Not joking. Even in critical care in a coma, Khet will keep him plugged in for $$$
Plus Then Linda and Dave can sign away his thwarted organs away for financial science

Just what I've always wanted: a couple gouty lungs (that get winded from going up stairs), a heart with a Shnozman sized hole, and two alcohol soaked kidneys.

 

[Julia Chang]

My favorite thing he's said he's done on his "break" was he took a walk with his wife to "feed the local animals" like what the fuck does that even mean
Realistically he might have just fed one of his many pets or khet or whatever but phrasing it that way makes it sound like he walked around his gated cul-de-sac tossing pizza crusts at raccoons
One of the more alien things I've heard him say recently

 

[Pargon]

My favorite thing he's said he's done on his "break" was he took a walk with his wife to "feed the local animals" like what the fuck does that even mean
Realistically he might have just fed one of his many pets or khet or whatever but phrasing it that way makes it sound like he walked around his gated cul-de-sac tossing pizza crusts at raccoons
One of the more alien things I've heard him say recently

Yeah. And, also, in the PNW winter? So, he fed fat squirrels trying to get fatter. Gratz, Phil, now I know who to blame when fat fucking rodents tip over my bird feeder six times a day

 

[Irreedemable Ret. 2]

sounds good. Like what the fuck kind of walk are you taking in 10 minutes?

Like the pushups he did during the Danganronpa V3 playthrough.

 

[PetiteDragon43]

My favorite thing he's said he's done on his "break" was he took a walk with his wife to "feed the local animals" like what the fuck does that even mean
Realistically he might have just fed one of his many pets or khet or whatever but phrasing it that way makes it sound like he walked around his gated cul-de-sac tossing pizza crusts at raccoons
One of the more alien things I've heard him say recently

Well also remember he doesn't wear shoes or socks in the awfice. So unless he's going around in crocs, sandals, or barefooting it thats at least 4 minutes to get downstairs, find the horse, get the shoes on and step outside. If he is wearing tennis shoes or trainers thats 5. And when he gets back thats 3 more minutes to undo it all and get back upstairs to the awfice. So... not much of walk/ a lie when you really think about it.

What I want to know is if this is all true why is Phil abusing Jasper by leaving all the time? Does he not know that Jasper might get sad when Phil and his fat wife leave for 10 minutes a day?

Tractors need a really good “Ted Cruz was the Zodiac Killer” or “(person) raped and murdered a woman behind an Arby’s in 1992” meme to append to literally everything he posts

During a severe flood Phil Burnell tried to order Doordash and was upset that no one would risk their life.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

I just assume he's lying at least 90% of the time in these cases. His existence is definitely so bizarre that I wouldn't be too surprised if it turns out it was all true, and that he really is just doing all that weird shit, but the taking Kat for a walk thing is usually what defies my belief to the point I think he's just lying because he thinks it sounds good. Like what the fuck kind of walk are you taking in 10 minutes? Why are you doing it in the middle of a stream instead of getting up with her and doing it to start the day, or after the first stream? And do you really expect anyone with a brain to believe that fat blob is taking walks?

At most, they're walking back and forth to the mailbox, which may be a 10 minute waddle for them. I don't believe for a second they're walking anywhere outside of the gate.

I think the fact that he again said he has "pecs" now and not moobs while I can visibly see his droopy tits while he is telling me what I see is not real is a good statement on his current level of disconnect with reality.

Phil also says his core has tightened when it's very obvious he still has a hefty gut in rare cases when he stands up.

To be fair, Phil has visibly lost some weight again. The reason for that is anyone's guess, but I really wish this Fit Phil arc would end. It's so obnoxious.

 

[Johnny Doxville]

During a severe flood Phil Burnell tried to order Doordash and was upset that no one would risk their life.

This is why phil is such a lolcow, he lacks self awareness to the point where people are literally dying and doordash are they assholes because Phil can't stuff his droopy mouth

 

[Pargon]

The reason for that is anyone's guess

He dropped the mixers and started drinking the gin straight.

 

[Dr Pavel I'm CIA]

I don't believe for a second they're walking anywhere outside of the gate.

That would be EXTREMELY dangerous, there's a horde of detractors waiting behind the gates for Phil.

He should be more careful of his delivery drivers, maybe they're part of the detractor community, a trojan horse dressed in doordash drapes.

 

[Irreedemable Ret. 2]

Well also remember he doesn't wear shoes or socks in the awfice

We all know he is a 220 but what is the kind of mental derangement Phil has to walk on his tiptoes at home if he really does it as said?