02/27 - Phil Phights Back - Phil gets photographed and phrightened and conphiscates a phone.

[Milktheturtle]

He's really glad we're back,he was awfully quiet when we were on Discord,now that we're back he's always mentionning us and using us to get asspat.

He really likes to have an antagonist in his life.

 

[Sailor_Jupiter]

"Make your lawyer happy by putting a baseball and glove in your trunk"

1) that's not how any of this works
2) what trunk? Phil doesn't have a car and can't use his bike.

Maybe by trunk he meant lower abdomen.

 

[m0rnutz]

>gets in tussle
>no bruises or scratches

lol k

I have a friend in Portland I can ask to visit him for the hell of it. Too bad they're a lefttard

 

[Splendid]

Phil, you idiot. Chemical weapons are something that countries that are too shitty to develop biological or nuclear weapons make.
Your mace is a chemical incapacitant.

 

[Here to Lurk]

Phil enjoyed a level in protection before as he regularly grassed up people sleeping illegally to the cops....mostly so he could steal their places

Christ, what an asshole.

 

[Sailor_Jupiter]

We should try to export him to the land of his little weeb dreams.

 

[Robotic Richard Simmons]

This sounds like the Phil equivalent of Chris and the GameStop incident.

 

[DatBepisTho]

Cops carting off "white male terrorist" when?

 

[Graffiti canvas]

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I kinda hope this is all real.

Imagine an emboldened Phil, with real life success attacking someone and getting away with destroying some stranger's personal property all in the name of Snowflake rights. He'll be quicker on the draw to attack next time, more sure of himself and his "Cause" while finding a new mechanic for his addiction to asspats and e-begging.

He'll quickly get arrested and thrown in jail for basically being a psychotic mugger.

Holy shit, what a glorious day that would be. Nothing would brighten my day's sense of karmic justice more to see this spastic shitfinger in court in an orange jumpsuit awaiting a bond hearing.

Either that or someone will smash his smug beaver face in.

Win-Win.

 

[Smutley]

I really don't think this is real, because of the following reasons:

• Phil always acts up being the badass in his stories, and as others have said this is now the third time he's assaulted people and stolen their phones
• Greta and Nina haven't pimped this out as being real to fund raise for their scam
• Phil put it friends only, meaning he's trying to sucker his few hundred friends and he doesn't want us to see it and dispute it.

But maybe he really did commit armed robbery lol. That would be a hoot, I'd love a Phil vs. The People saga.

 

[broilerrx]

If we send this shit to CNN, do you think they'll spin a Trump angle on it, regardless of the fact that it's bullshit?

I know Buzzfeed would eat it up for sure.

 

[Squealer]

"Make your lawyer happy by putting a baseball and glove in your trunk"

1) that's not how any of this works
2) what trunk? Phil doesn't have a car and can't use his bike.

Baby got back,

He's got some junk in that trunk

 

[Twrx]

I kinda hope this is all real.

Imagine an emboldened Phil, with real life success attacking someone and getting away with destroying some stranger's personal property all in the name of Snowflake rights. He'll be quicker on the draw to attack next time, more sure of himself and his "Cause" while finding a new mechanic for his addiction to asspats and e-begging.

He'll quickly get arrested and thrown in jail for basically being a psychotic mugger.

Holy shit, what a glorious day that would be. Nothing would brighten my day's sense of karmic justice more to see this spastic shitfinger in court in an orange jumpsuit awaiting a bond hearing.

Either that or someone will smash his smug beaver face in.

Win-Win.

He has a prison fetish. He wants to be locked up so he can be abused by big white males to make his rape fanstsies real. There's pictures of him in a orange jump suit.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

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Have my Semper Fi's just for the title alone.

Chemical weapons?

Yet again adf is a lame chris ripoff

Funny you should mention that, because my first thought was this:

Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has.” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.

Maybe it's just an autism thing?

It always amuses me how he can't describe a fight like a normal person with punches and shit, but as a grand anime inspired battle complete with special attacks.

See above.

 

[anephric]

Phil probably saw some random taking a photo and then choked out a "no... don't..." and then turned it into this hilariously Joss Whedon fantasy jerkoff story.

What's telling is that the other person wasn't doing anything but taking a photo (was it even OF Phil?) and this made him tardrage either for real (doubtful) or imagined (now with headmates!). So he's triggered by other people being aware of him...?

 

[Jack Awful]

Lol like anyone over the age of 5 could be physically overpowered by Phil.

 

[Big Nasty]

Phil lies.

 

[snailshell]

For someone who allegedly has no balls, Phil sure does love to flaunt his toxic masculinity.

 

[Positron]

He also wants a bookshelf for his library of books.

Phil has books????

Yes, lots -- and all of them worthless.

But you don't demand a fucking bookshelf if you're broke. Whatever happened to building a bookshelf with old wine cases? Phil hanged out with the green dumb group at Little Rocks, and the only thing he learned was "I really really really really want a bike."

 

[m0rnutz]

Whatever happened to building a bookshelf with old wine cases?

You say that like you expect Phil would pick up a hammer and nail without bawling over the noise it makes. Or let alone a booboo for being a dipshit and hitting himself in the face.

Phil takes one look at Pinterest, sees a purse made of duct tape, and goes "Awmmmm I want that pawss". Then rather than actually buying some duct tape, he begs for $50 to buy two rolls.

When he finally gets the money after a year, he's too dumb to remember what it was for, and just wastes it on some dumb dollar store knife to fend off the Kiwi Invaders.

Then he throws it in the bottomless pit that is his dresser and forgets he ever bought the other 20+.