2020 RESOLUTIONS | WEIGHT, MONEY, COLLEGE, ETC 1/2/2020 - StoryTimeLynn starts 2020 off with one helluva tall tale

[phoenixrrt762]

That sofa is a trooper.

I need to know the brand so’s I can get one indestructible...

 

[W00K #17]

That recent YouTube live she said shes going to study psychology

Makes sense. The most nutso chicks I know all seem to just looooove psychology.

 

[marjoram]

Blah, blah, bullshit, blah....we've seen this all before. The one single thing she should be concerned about RIGHT NOW is getting on top of that bladder infection. Big Al is not college material, Big Al is too stupid to realize her "writing" is so bad it's unintentionally hilarious.
Big Al is gonna do the exact same things she's always done, cause it's what she knows and finds comfortable. 0/10.

 

[SituationTypeThing]

Manic NewYearLynn in da house.

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

Did she say she forgets what she eats that day?? Is she blacking out the second tube turkey hits her lips?

Maybe her brain hits her with such an intense rush of goodfeel chemicals when she eats tube meats that it's comparable to a large dose of MDMA, and she's giving herself serotonin syndrome and erasing all her memories by eating so much tube meat every day.

 

[Turd Fergusson]

Those resolutions are more like “things that I wish would happen if it does not take a lot of work from me to do”

1st: College
At 30yo, someone thinks of university as a way to get better employment. After a decade of being a short order cook, checkout girl, or toilet attendant, education is the best way of raising your income. Nursing, auto mechanics, any kind of trade comes into mind. Creative writing, art history, philosophy is not the way to do it. I cannot see any university or community college programme that she could do in her present state.

2nd: Journal Every Day, Read More Books, Write More Poetry
Is it really a resolution? If she could not do it before, what has change that she can now? It will last 2 weeks, and she will document is in one of her agendas. BTW, what happened to those agenda?

3rd: Pick Up After Myself More
This is a resolution of an 8yo, not an independent grown women. If she becomes bed bound, it is not going to happen. Anyway, it is not happening and will blame it on her made up mental issues.

4th: Learn To Say No
She will say no to cleaning, but not to a Chinese buffet. She will never say no to food.

5th: Cut Hair
How low in the resolution spectrum that cutting your hair is one of them? I guess after seeing herself in the video of Eric’s birthday, she realized that her hair is making her look fat. I suspect many vlogs documenting the struggles and triumph at the salon. She will be really really proud of herself.

6th: Weight loss and Million steps year
It is the same resolution every year and will have the same result unless she has bariatric surgery. I hope that she forgets about the million steps. If she tries it, at her weight, I suspect that either one of her hip, knee or ankle joint will collapse from overuse and put her permanently in a bed bound status.

7th: : Mental Health Therapy
I thought she was in therapy!

8th: Food Journaling
I wonder where she will find the time between her million steps journey and her study of astrophysics. What is the point of this resolution.

9th: Create a Weightloss Instagram
She will tell us her weight when she creates one. Not happening.

10th: Finances
She should get an accountant to minimize taxes and set herself an investment account.

Resolution 11th: Stop Worrying About Making Good Videos
This is THE resolution that I am sure she will succeed in 2020.

 

[HissingBastard]

I'm actually quite excited to see her go through Phase 1 again. The Optavia Saga happened around this time last year and was one of my favorite arcs. She's already wasted hundreds of dollars on six custom made planners she'll never use.

 

[Whatthefuck]

Blah, blah, bullshit, blah....we've seen this all before. The one single thing she should be concerned about RIGHT NOW is getting on top of that bladder infection. Big Al is not college material, Big Al is too stupid to realize her "writing" is so bad it's unintentionally hilarious.
Big Al is gonna do the exact same things she's always done, cause it's what she knows and finds comfortable. 0/10.

She'd be starting from scratch, too. Even her one semester won't count because the shitty for profit college she went to lost their accreditation. Nothing is going to be transferable. She's never going to be accepted into a real college. I highly doubt she ever took the ACT or SAT so she'd have to start right there. She'd have to get the transcripts for whatever shit alternative school she finished HS at. This is all way too much work for her. She likely wouldn't get past the application stage if even that far. Something would stump her like the things I've mentioned and her phone anxiety is shthoooo bad that she wouldn't call an admissions counselor. No one else in her circle or even her family have been to College or University. Shit ain't happening, fam.

 

[Moonpie]

Ffs she's so predictable.
And of course she won't address the fact of looking 20-30lbs above the 600 mark.
Guess she forgets how in a previous lahs vid she said when she gains weight she just says the opposite.
Same old blob. Just another delusional day.

 

[Sushinope]

"I feel like someone my size should not be drinking."

Like, is there any actual legit reasoning behind this? I thought fatties were supposed to handle their booze better than most because of all their fat or whatever.

Is it because she's afraid she'll get wobbly and fall on someone?

Besides just being more likely to be eating higher fat foods while drinking apparently not, alcohol doesn't get absorbed as well through our body fat. Besides the hundreds of extra pounds on her, she has a small frame at 5'3 (think someone said that's her height) so it would hit her faster than another woman that's fit with more muscle. She probably got warned the her liver or kidneys can't handle her binges along with booze so the alcohol was the easier habit to kick than the orange chicken.

 

[clusterfuckk]

She already hinted that disclaimer/overworked excuse in this video at 3;14 "some personal things happened today...", but per usual Fatbrain, "I'm not gonna talk about it." Of course she's not. She'll clickbait it as a title later and still not tell anybody one fucking thing about what was "so bad." Thus is the way of Hamber. Pity me! Bad shit happened! Muh mentalz! <cue single sad teardrop>

Muh mentalz.

 

[Sodium-King-90]

I mean, judging by this, her Resolution is to rival Tammy Slaton's look...
Go get dat TVEEEEEE show, Amber!

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

Makes sense. The most nutso chicks I know all seem to just looooove psychology.

Agreed, good sir! My SIL is one of the most mental fucktards I know, Queen of Bad Life Decisions, and what did she get her degree in? Yup, psychology. Almost seems like it's a prerequisite to even enrolling in psych classes.

But, could you even imagine Hamber giving anyone life advice? Or counseling of any sort? Good grief, the narc in her would make it "all about me." No amount of psych is EVER going to change that about her.

 

[Whatthefuck]

Agreed, good sir! My SIL is one of the most mental fucktards I know, Queen of Bad Life Decisions, and what did she get her degree in? Yup, psychology. Almost seems like it's a prerequisite to even enrolling in psych classes.

But, could you even imagine Hamber giving anyone life advice? Or counseling of any sort? Good grief, the narc in her would make it "all about me." No amount of psych is EVER going to change that about her.

She can't even have a conversation with Rebeksters without constantly interrupting, talking over her, and making what ever Becks says about herself. Those aren't really prized traits in someone wanting to listen to people for a living. A good counselor or therapist (though they may be bat shit irl) has to listen to their client so they can ask them the right questions to help guide the conversation carefully. Hambone fundamentally doesn't understand therapy. She thinks it's just going in and boo hooing without an ounce of work or self reflection. She thinks it's a 30-45 minute pity party. No, boo boo. Hambone, you're doing it wrong.

 

[SituationTypeThing]

Amber is not going to college, not unless it's a no-barrier-to-admittance, online college/university. Letzberuhl folks, campuses are big and amber would not be able to walk from building to building. Simple logistics, if not her laziness and lack of initiative, will guarantee that an online degree is the only one for her... ha, degree. She won't make it a semester.

But let's say she did, if she doesn't lose weight, it will be really difficult to be hired somewhere. If her degree is in psych, she'd be limited to being one of those online therapists who aren't allowed to officially diagnose anything. Even if she could get hired somewhere, at 600 lbs, it's going to be difficult to walk through a lobby, go up an elevator, down a long hall to the specific office. Her lack of mobility will make everything in life impossible.

I thought she was already food journaling "down to a tictac, if she eats a mint, it goes into the journal" guess that was 20teens Amber, 2020 amber is a totally different entity.

Interesting that she said that in the past decade she found love and lost love. Didn't say she found love again (becky). It also would have been nice if one of her resolutions/goals was to be better to becky/appreciate her more. Not that a narc is capable of doing so, but she can't even present as a decent human.

 

[Pog Mathoin]

I get this feeling that the 'personal thing' (as opposed to the more usual 'family thing'), has something to to with Dana & Destiny. Maybe Becky and Dana got sick of watching AL moon all over Destiny and something happened ( like Becky hulk-smashing someone) particularly if there was alcohol in the mix.

My tea-sniffer is pinging for some reason.

 

[Strawberry Pocky]

Agreed, good sir! My SIL is one of the most mental fucktards I know, Queen of Bad Life Decisions, and what did she get her degree in? Yup, psychology. Almost seems like it's a prerequisite to even enrolling in psych classes.

But, could you even imagine Hamber giving anyone life advice? Or counseling of any sort? Good grief, the narc in her would make it "all about me." No amount of psych is EVER going to change that about her.

Dude we don't need to imagine. There are dozens of videos on her very channel doing exactly that....smugly and narcishly fatsplaining this or nutritionsplaining that as she condescendingly talks down to the audience... her Snapchat rants are another goldmine for that type of thing too.

In fact, remember that infamous "I have to teach Destiny/Becky aaaalllll about health and nutrition and calories because I know so much about weight loss and they dont understand it at all!" sobfest videos? lmao

 

[ChubbyChaser]

Oh goody I can't wait to see who loses weight first, Hambeast or LifeByJen; she just put out a weight loss video for the new year too.

I love how AL claims she's losing soooo much weight, she's nowhere near her highest weight of 572. And she "can't wait to show us"; then bitch step on the scale, it's not hard.

 

[SituationTypeThing]

Oh goody I can't wait to see who loses weight first, Hambeast or LifeByJen; she just put out a weight loss video for the new year too.

I love how AL claims she's losing soooo much weight, she's nowhere near her highest weight of 572. And she "can't wait to show us"; then bitch step on the scale, it's not hard.

She doesn't even need to step on a scale, she just needs to exist while consisting of fewer elbees. If she lost weight, even a small amount, we'd be able to see. Maybe not significantly in the body area but the skirt of her tarp might skim her shelf instead of resting on it and needing to be yanked over, her face would be less round, her fingers would be more hot dog and less bratwurst, etc.

 

[The Jokester]

That sofa is a trooper.

That sofa must be a cousin to Wing's chair