2020 RESOLUTIONS | WEIGHT, MONEY, COLLEGE, ETC 1/2/2020 - StoryTimeLynn starts 2020 off with one helluva tall tale

[L. Ron Hubbard's Cat]

I get this feeling that the 'personal thing' (as opposed to the more usual 'family thing'), has something to to with Dana & Destiny. Maybe Becky and Dana got sick of watching AL moon all over Destiny and something happened ( like Becky hulk-smashing someone) particularly if there was alcohol in the mix.

My tea-sniffer is pinging for some reason.

Could it be related to the "learn to say no" resolution? Like maybe her attempts to buy Destiny back finally reached a crescendo, something (or someone) snapped, and AL decided that she's the real victim after all because she's just too generous. Or maybe that sort of thing happened but with Beggy's family. Or she got pissed at Eric & Rickie, declared she was sick of paying everyone's rent, and Eric countered by declaring he and Rickie were sick of cleaning up after her constantly. Two resolutions accounted for there.

The possibilities are almost endless with this mix of narcissists, malingerers, catty bitches, and arrested development. I think you're right and there's something totally predictable and yet entertaining afoot. Hopefully it becomes clearer in time.

 

[Whatthefuck]

Amber is not going to college, not unless it's a no-barrier-to-admittance, online college/university. Letzberuhl folks, campuses are big and amber would not be able to walk from building to building. Simple logistics, if not her laziness and lack of initiative, will guarantee that an online degree is the only one for her... ha, degree. She won't make it a semester.

But let's say she did, if she doesn't lose weight, it will be really difficult to be hired somewhere. If her degree is in psych, she'd be limited to being one of those online therapists who aren't allowed to officially diagnose anything. Even if she could get hired somewhere, at 600 lbs, it's going to be difficult to walk through a lobby, go up an elevator, down a long hall to the specific office. Her lack of mobility will make everything in life impossible.

I thought she was already food journaling "down to a tictac, if she eats a mint, it goes into the journal" guess that was 20teens Amber, 2020 amber is a totally different entity.

Interesting that she said that in the past decade she found love and lost love. Didn't say she found love again (becky). It also would have been nice if one of her resolutions/goals was to be better to becky/appreciate her more. Not that a narc is capable of doing so, but she can't even present as a decent human.

Literally the only way she could go to college would be online. No University is going to admit her unless they are super shit or another for profit and I don't know how many of those are left. She certainly couldn't study psychology at one. She could take a couple of psychology classes, but it's a major that has to be done in person after a certain point. She wouldn't fit in the desks anyway. Frankly, I don't think any regular classroom chair could take her heft and even if it could she couldn't sit in that position for an hour or more.

 

[GeorgiaGuidestones]

College?

OK, big gorl.

I can hear it now when people start pressuring her.

“I didn’t get the application through the mail, guise.”

“The website is down.”
“I called and called but kept getting voicemail.”
Insert fake voicemail. “See? I’m tryeen.”

 

[ADHD]

No University is going to admit her unless they are super shit or another for profit and I don't know how many of those are left.

If she were serious about this (she's not, but just for fun) she could go the route of community college > transfer to a 4 year program.

 

[Whatthefuck]

If she were serious about this (she's not, but just for fun) she could go the route of community college > transfer to a 4 year program.

True, but she'd still have to put some effort into admissions. I think they require their own placement tests to see if you need remedial courses, and lezbereal, gorl is going to need remedial everything. Honestly, we all know this is (pardon the pun) academic because she's never doing this shit.

 

[Twinkie]

This may mean nothing, but just a reminder: In the last Dana/Destiny vlog, Dana said she wants to look into starting college

 

[FatalTater]

College is just a business, and if Fat Amber has the money for admission she could get in. Somerset Community College isn't that picky when it comes to the academic prowess of it's students. Berea might be a little more choosy but I doubt it's by much.

Amber won't do it anyway so it doesn't matter.

 

[GigaKike]

Her New Year's resolution should be eating herself into an early grave.

Isn't that what she'll do anyway?

 

[tidechips101]

"I feel like someone my size should not be drinking."

Someone your size should not be eating the shitty foods in the exorbitant amounts that you do, but that doesn't stop you.

Like, is there any actual legit reasoning behind this? I thought fatties were supposed to handle their booze better than most because of all their fat or whatever.

Is it because she's afraid she'll get wobbly and fall on someone?

tbf once you're at big al's size a lot of shit is only really just working and there's so little data on your body type that doing pretty much anything is a risk

it's kind of a 'you could die any day' deal

 

[Barbarella]

I would love to see her go to a community college (I know she can’t fit in a chair, but just imagine) and have her take a creative writing class.

Her first paper would have the professor dissolving into laughter and bringing it to all her friends over drinks. Of course, the professor wants the best for her students, so sadly gives up her lulz and recommends Amber for a remedial courses. At least might learn sentence structure.

Amber, in a huff, would quit and announce that her teacher didn’t know talent. Amber is blessed with the gift of writing, and when she looks back at her own work she gets shivers at how good it is. She’ll flounce from school like maggots on a train and the floorboards would be relieved.

This is the best time of year, with all the landwhales resolving to lose weight. They’ll all give up in a week-the question is how long does it take each one to admit failure?

 

[Turd Fergusson]

Besides the weight loss, going to college is the most useful. Being a Youtuber is not a long term occupation. But knowing our gurl, we know that she will screw this up. Taking psychology is the dumbest idea. To become a clinical psychologist, you probably need a phd, a master at a minimum. I cannot see her spending 6 to 9 years in school. Community college are cheaper and she is more likely to find a course leading to an occupation there. Will she do it? Not likely.

 

[WeDon'tNeedToWhisper]

It's no surprise that it's quantity over quality for Amber's new year resolutions which also confirms that that word doesn't mean what she thinks it means.
Amber said in this video from 1/6/19 that she "needs to save all kinds of money this year because things are going down" I remember people speculating that her and becky were moving or getting a new car. Obviously, nothing significant happened in 2019. She also said she didn't want to talk and create a long video that has no content just to get more money Amber is a pathological liar who speaks and acts before she thinks. Then she'll get on snapchat and complain about speculation and she's not lying, etc. I digress.
Amber served some good mílk that could be useful in the future. If there's one thing Amber loves it's to be held accountable.

 

[StrawberryDouche]

If her degree is in psych, she'd be limited to being one of those online therapists who aren't allowed to officially diagnose anything.

She can have an exciting new career as a Better Help therapist!

Interesting that she said that in the past decade she found love and lost love. Didn't say she found love again (becky).

Mmmhm. That struck me as well.

Or maybe that sort of thing happened but with Beggy's family.

I think Misty Dawn Pedo Fucker announcing on Twitter that Amber was the family's personal paypig really rattled her cage.

 

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

Literally the only way she could go to college would be online. No University is going to admit her unless they are super shit or another for profit and I don't know how many of those are left. She certainly couldn't study psychology at one. She could take a couple of psychology classes, but it's a major that has to be done in person after a certain point. She wouldn't fit in the desks anyway. Frankly, I don't think any regular classroom chair could take her heft and even if it could she couldn't sit in that position for an hour or more.

Now, now, let's not put the melk before the cow. Big Al said she is "seriously thinking" about college. That effort alone is going to wear her out shtooooo much, you guize. She'll think and thunk and think some more, on the odd second here and there, and then that, too, will be never mentioned again.

 

[mekalekahi]

The resolution to pick up after herself more is so random, how much do you want to bet that Ricky or Dustin said something in front of the group about it. I doubt shes ever taken the trash out in any home shes lived in.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Psychology jobs may be "easy" to get, but they require a fuck ton of unpaid hours and schooling to make any decent money. Which obviously she'll never do.

Either psychology or nursing is what every bitch I passed through in group therapy said they planned on doing, and .001% ever do. It's just the cool thing to say you want to do, which as we all know about Amber is shit the basic bitch will follow.

 

[ADHD]

Amber said in this video from 1/6/19 that she "needs to save all kinds of money this year because things are going down" I remember people speculating that her and becky were moving or getting a new car. Obviously, nothing significant happened in 2019.

Well, remember, she (allegedly) saved up the money to pay for weight loss surgery, but that shitlord doctor didn't want to give it to her.

 

[Cuck Duck]

I'm sorry but her chin at the beginning made me so uncomfortable like I made a noise and shook
Nothing constructive, just expressing how disconcerted I am

 

[clusterfuckk]

So who’s gonna be the first fatality in the ‘Skinny Legend Olympics’?
Albert, Fat Amy, FatbyJen or Chinny?

my bet is 100% on Albert in less than 2 weeks.

 

[Plague Dog]

Blah, blah, bullshit, blah....we've seen this all before. The one single thing she should be concerned about RIGHT NOW is getting on top of that bladder infection. Big Al is not college material, Big Al is too stupid to realize her "writing" is so bad it's unintentionally hilarious.

She also doesn't understand all the work that goes into doing something creative well.

I think she likes poetry because she's allowed to just fart it out emotionally without revision, but i'm pretty sure that's not how you get good poetry (disclaimer: poetry isn't my forte, so correct me if i'm wrong here). Like... you might get a basis for a poem and a few lines that are central, but you still need to revise revise and revise until it's perfect... that is, if it's a poem you ever think is good enough to publish.