Surgery [26 May 2018] Phil States His Demands.

Deadpool dijo:
3. You're italian not latino.
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Actually like the term "White American", "Latino" is blurry as well. Italians are Latin/Romance speakers. Many People also seem to exclude the French colonies in Caribbean and South America when talking about "Latin America".

That said..
  1. No.
  2. Don't want to know.
  3. There's a reason why languages have fucking gender and corresponding endings. And for whatever reason, Spoken Latin (which became romance languages) did get rid of its neutral gender, leaving only male and female. So I find "Latinx" stupid af.
  4. 3 genders: Male, female and mentally ill. It pronouns.
  5. I'll call it "Eviltranslatinx"
Everything else: Don't care.
 
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ObeseScreamingBlackMan dijo:
inb4 Phil actually gets a gun and attempts to shoot Kiwi Farms by blasting his phone to pieces.
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Like he did when someone from the forums sent him a potatoe as a house warming gift??? Yeah, he took a knife to it, all while recoding himself saying it's what he would do to kiwi farms. If I remember correctly he almost stabbed his finger a couple times too.
 
a tattoo artist?? I can't imagine any shop---even the dingiest, nastiest little trash hole shop---seeing his fantastically weeby Australatina drawings and thinking "yep this one has potential, for sure!". Even scratchers manage to trace flash and come up with 'original' designs for drunk football fans and juggalos. His lack of artistic talent alone would be enough, but he's absolutely disgusting. I can't imagine any shop hiring someone that no customers would want touching them, he's like a walking petri dish.

"give me $250,000 shekels for my tattoos and piercings"...:c
 
nvrwastetree dijo:
I can imagine Phil being a tattoo artist on people, and by that I mean he wouldn't tattoo what his clients want on their bodies, but rather he would contemplate what they requested, then he would end up tattooing what he wants on them. "Yeah, I know you wanted a tribal tattoo, but how about a tattoo of me being a homeless fuck, my daughter bike, or the words clitoral mass scribbled across your knuckles??? How about I tattoo three lines horizontally across the bridge of your nose for no reason?? Yeah that would be better than what you want." .

"Why?"

"Because I've covered every inch of my body in scribbles, and I have no more room, but you have a ton of room. Enjoy your new tattoo by Izzy hell whateverthefuckmylastnameis. That will be $250,000. You can also donate to my youcaring for my Spanish snatch."
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As hyperbole as this is, Phil does strike me as the asshat who would take "artistic" license on someone's tattoo, given an opportunity, and quickly get his ass shitcanned from whatever parlor he managed to graduate from practicing on oranges and pig heads.

Although, lets be honest. No one would ever look at his portfolio of work and decide "yep.. that's the style I want on my body for the rest of my life. Gimme that low-rent chris chan style"
 
Lurkette dijo:
i don't think a website URL can wire you money phil, not even if you threaten to send pictures of a gun through it
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Phil thinks Kiwi Farmers are everywhere, so it's possible he could shoot an innocent bum that looked at him funny because the site inevitably didn't cave into those delirious demands.

Did I mention the gun is a NERF® gun?
 
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Phil, I have the money. In order to prove it’s really you, we will conduct the transaction face-to-face in Spanish while riding bikes.
 
The most hilarious thing with Phil is when he makes demands of people who consider him nothing more than an amusing joke. Even if he actually bought a gun and somehow managed not to get arrested and not to shoot his own dick off (that he still has), nobody would care.
 
Smug demanding Phil is funniest Phil. It's hilarious that he thinks he's being intimidating and that we will take him seriously. Even if he did get that hole carved into his guts, he'd still be biologically male. No amount of cosmetic mutilation will change that. And don't even get me started on the "battleship" bullshit. He doesn't even rate tugboat. He's got a rubber life raft at best because it's merely keeping him afloat.

And I would love to be a fly on the wall if he ever goes to an FFL to try to buy a firearm, just to watch him furiously bounce and squeak when the dealer shuts him down. His legal status aside, no FFL is going to take the liability of selling Phil a gun. He's obviously a mongoloid with the mental capacity of a child, and he looks like a kindergarten doodled all over him. Ditto any private seller. And what's he gonna do with a firearm anyways? Shoot us through the internet?

He must really be cheesed off (pun totally intended) that we haven't bought his "I totally got a vah-jay-jay, you guys!" lie. He's trying everything his little Autism-addled brain can come up with to maintain this little fantasy. He's making demands, threats, changing his story every time one of us pokes a hole in it, and he's even fallen back on one of his old "I can't cope with how weak and powerless I am" stand-bys and is talking about getting a gun. Basically the only power fantasies he hasn't indulged in yet are fake military strikes and genocides by Autismlandia and lying about "totally beating up another Kiwi who took his photo", but those probably will happen soon enough when the bouncing and squeaking no longer can soothe him.
 
The Dude dijo:
Smug demanding Phil is funniest Phil. It's hilarious that he thinks he's being intimidating and that we will take him seriously. Even if he did get that hole carved into his guts, he'd still be biologically male. No amount of cosmetic mutilation will change that. And don't even get me started on the "battleship" bullshit. He doesn't even rate tugboat. He's got a rubber life raft at best because it's merely keeping him afloat.

And I would love to be a fly on the wall if he ever goes to an FFL to try to buy a firearm, just to watch him furiously bounce and squeak when the dealer shuts him down. His legal status aside, no FFL is going to take the liability of selling Phil a gun. He's obviously a mongoloid with the mental capacity of a child, and he looks like a kindergarten doodled all over him. Ditto any private seller. And what's he gonna do with a firearm anyways? Shoot us through the internet?

He must really be cheesed off (pun totally intended) that we haven't bought his "I totally got a vah-jay-jay, you guys!" lie. He's trying everything his little Autism-addled brain can come up with to maintain this little fantasy. He's making demands, threats, changing his story every time one of us pokes a hole in it, and he's even fallen back on one of his old "I can't cope with how weak and powerless I am" stand-bys and is talking about getting a gun. Basically the only power fantasies he hasn't indulged in yet are fake military strikes and genocides by Autismlandia and lying about "totally beating up another Kiwi who took his photo", but those probably will happen soon enough when the bouncing and squeaking no longer can soothe him.
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He could always buy a rusted pre 1900s Colt
 
DragoonSierra dijo:
He could always buy a rusted pre 1900s Colt
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That's all assuming Phil could find one that's in functional condition, understood C&R eligible firearms and where to get them, and could successfully sneak enough of his tugboat away from Slingblade's booze fund to be able to afford it AND not get caught and beaten by Toren. I just can't feature that.
 
Just for laughs, i poked around Armslist for Washington/Oregon, and yeah, even for private sellers the pickings there are pretty slim relative to where I'm from. and most of them are a bit out of price range for a potato in a Rowboat.

Plus, He's Italian. So parading around with a firearm and then dropping it at the first sign of opposition is just in his genes.
 
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The Dude dijo:
Smug demanding Phil is funniest Phil. It's hilarious that he thinks he's being intimidating and that we will take him seriously. Even if he did get that hole carved into his guts, he'd still be biologically male. No amount of cosmetic mutilation will change that. And don't even get me started on the "battleship" bullshit. He doesn't even rate tugboat. He's got a rubber life raft at best because it's merely keeping him afloat.

And I would love to be a fly on the wall if he ever goes to an FFL to try to buy a firearm, just to watch him furiously bounce and squeak when the dealer shuts him down. His legal status aside, no FFL is going to take the liability of selling Phil a gun. He's obviously a mongoloid with the mental capacity of a child, and he looks like a kindergarten doodled all over him. Ditto any private seller. And what's he gonna do with a firearm anyways? Shoot us through the internet?

He must really be cheesed off (pun totally intended) that we haven't bought his "I totally got a vah-jay-jay, you guys!" lie. He's trying everything his little Autism-addled brain can come up with to maintain this little fantasy. He's making demands, threats, changing his story every time one of us pokes a hole in it, and he's even fallen back on one of his old "I can't cope with how weak and powerless I am" stand-bys and is talking about getting a gun. Basically the only power fantasies he hasn't indulged in yet are fake military strikes and genocides by Autismlandia and lying about "totally beating up another Kiwi who took his photo", but those probably will happen soon enough when the bouncing and squeaking no longer can soothe him.
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It's telling that we had days of detailed, obviously catered updates from Phil, and then after those updates were picked apart, we now have radio silence again. Phil couldn't wait to "fool" us, and when he failed to make even one part of his story believable, he ducks away and tries to forget it happened.

It won't be long before this incident is filed away with "I got my balls chopped off" and "I got a gun" as lies that are so bad even Phil tries to bury them.
 
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