🎨 Artcow DisneyFan01 / Andrea Avrett - Womanchild whose Husbando is the Treasure Planet version of John Silver; Rewriting Kingdom Hearts with her Self-Insert for Over a Decade

[Hummingbird]

Soooooo....


Would anyone like me to do a sporking of Faithful Hearts?

I'd be for it.

 

[friedshrimp]

Clearly you just don't "get" his art, okay

OMG that's the Channel Awesome guy! He's always making weird-ass pictures of Doug and Co.

 

[friedshrimp]

Sorry for double post, but it seems @Cyan and @caffeinated_wench have gone MIA, and they were the biggest bringers of content to this thread, and what we liked to do was spork chapters of the fic, so while DF is still writing it...I don't think there's a problem for me to spork some of the stuff in the latest chapter.

I was originally gonna make a sporking of the latest chapter, but it's just long and boring Frozen recap, so if you've seen the film you're not missing anything.

However...Chapter 8 finds more promising things for us to pick.

https://disneyfan-01.deviantart.com/art/Faith-of-the-Heart-Pt-4-Ch-8-677067546

So maybe i'm not entering in this chapter with the most open of views (haven't read the latest chapters- not really a Frozen fan), so forgive me if i start asking questions like why is Von Drake suddenly there, and when did Rapunzel saw the lion, and such. And I haven't done a sporking before, so forgive me if i'm not too funny or I miss out on some details that make the chapter bad.

So, context; at least from what I can remember, the gang alongside with the Tangled characters are staying behind on Arendelle while the story of Frozen is taking place. I imagine the events happening now at the castle are occurring at the same moment Elsa is having her little Let It Go song and dance. So Marina and the gang are busy with taking care of the food, and apparently in the midst of it all, they managed to get contact with Mickey, and Maleficent was also seen for a moment.

Now, though, the gang is sleeping in the halls of the castle alongside with the town inhabitants who fled the winter caused by Elsa and blah blah, you've seen the movie, you know where this is going.

Spoiler: Lots of Silver creeping on Marina

Genie threw in another log, "Don't remind me, Prof. I can feel it getting colder every second."

"Come, now, my boy," Von Drake elbowed him. "That is not physically possible."

"It is when you're a genie who spent the last ten thousand and then some more years on a world of intense desert heat." He wrapped himself tighter under his blanket and newly knitted shawl. "What I'd give for a nice hot cup of coffee again."

Uuuugh science I guess? Who knew blue skin was more sensitive to extreme weather changes.

Silver looked down at Marina. She lightly moaned and shuffled a little. Her arms remained around Kopa as the two of them were keeping each other warm. Even in his sleep, Kopa was purring with a tiny smile feeling all of the comfort Marina was giving him with her warmth.

I know she does this to be "cute" and showcase Marina's motherly side, but I just feel it in my bones that if DF ever returns to make the Lion King plot we'll get a horrible, cliched story where Kopa has to "choose" between his two families. Gosh is that cliche terrible, and I just know DF will fuck it up in order to make Marina seem better compared to Simba and Nala.

Silver grew a small smile before he leaned against the wall and slowly sank to the floor to sit. His eyes never left Marina as he gave out a long sigh, "Ah. It's been a long while since t'e last time I cooked so much under a few hours. I need a break."

"Ja, take a break, Captain," said Von Drake. "We never had a chance for conversate-tion before."

Silver got comfortable as he chuckled, "Well, I'm not much of a small talker. I'll give yeh that."

"Good," said Genie. "I hate small talk. Who wants to start? Me! Okay! My first master was a sorcerer king of sorts. A total tyrant of a tiny kingdom. Drunk with power. Every day, it was 'I'm in charge here! I have the power! Blah blah blah!'"

Silver creeping on Marina is as always rather unnerving, but I like the idea of the characters bonding, even though these are a weird mix-up.

"Tell me, Prof," Silver paid no attention to Genie. "Lassie, here. . . she was homeschooled, aye?"

"Ah, ja," Von Drake smiled. "And she is such a smart child. Just like her father. We each gave her all of her lessons. I helped her out with her science, arith-mathematics, and all that sort of learnings. I tell you, Captain, she absorbed knowledge like a sponge. Vell, she wasn't very good with the calculate-us, geo-metry, and, oh, don't get me started on chemistry."

...And we're back to kissing Marina's ass.

Genie shrugged, "Hey, nothing bad about that. Try being blue for all your life." He turned into Kermit the Frog and sang, "And it's not easy being green."

Silver's laugh softened as he slapped Genie in the back, "Ah, Genie. Ye're a riot."

"Hey, if you think I'm a riot now, you see me when I'm warmer," Genie changed back and continued knitting a new sweater.

...Yeah, that was a funny joke there!

"Anyways," said Von Drake, "Marina wasn't very strong with those subjects. What she was best at under my teachings was astronomy, geology, biology, history, and archeology. When she got a little older, she read a lot about anthropology of many worlds out dere."

"The studies of an explorer," Silver nodded.

"Ja. Her father taught her some dings, thinking that she would take an interest in polo-ticks like himself. . . but it just wasn't her cup-o-tea. She wanted to be an explorer and learn about all the different kinds of cultures the uni-verse has to give."

"Yeah," said Genie. "You should've seen her as the two of us traveled through Italy, then to Greece, Egypt, and the African savannah. She took down lots of notes of everything she saw and learned and asked many questions to the people she met."

"Aye," said Silver. "I t'ink she really has what it takes to be a great explorer." He paused to breathe in deeply and give out a big huff, "Too bad she has this mission and promises standin' in her ways."

We already know this information. Why do we repeat this? Marina is smart and adventurous, we get it.

"Ja. She came so close to havin' her dream come true fifteen years ago. Mein arme leibe. If only those kooky Procyons didn't have to be so greedy wanting to take over the Terran Empire and startin' dat crazy Armada of they's. She wouldn't have lost her dear Robert and the twos of them would be sailing all over the uni-verse hand in hands, studying all of the differ-ant cultures each world had to offer to them."

Silver remained staring at Marina the whole time Von Drake was speaking. He almost started to not listen anymore as he was beginning to wonder what Marina was like when she was happy with her husband. He could only picture her in the arms of a young man. Since he had no idea what this young man looked like, all he could see was a tall young man with his face hidden in the shadows. The warmth of his arms around Marina made her have that smile on her face. It was that very same smile she gave Silver only a few days ago which he was longing to see coming from her since the day he first met her.

From his stomach came up twinge of jealousy to force him to tense up, but before he could come even close to a shutter, he swallowed and the feeling went away the moment he heard Von Drake conclude, "But. . . nein. It happened anyways and she lost him forever." He shook his head and repeated, "Mein arme leibe."

Kooky german aside, whenever Robert is mentioned in the fic it's always so ham-fisted. And John getting jealous of somebody who's been like ten years dead...Lel.

Genie was watching Silver when Von Drake was speaking. He didn't miss a moment that was within the old cyborg's face. When he spotted the very brief look that seemed to be jealousy that was immediately swallow back down, Genie's eyes went back and forth from the captain to sleeping woman he was staring at. When he started to realize something, a large smile slowly spread across his blue face.

"Ahhhh!" he sang. "I seeeeee."

"You see vhat?" asked Von Drake.

Oh, she's going with that cliche then. I'd rather not, but oh well...

Genie nudged a soft elbow into the professor, "C'mon, Prof. Don't cha see it? Ol' Skipper here's gotta crush on the little lady."

"Ohhh?" Von Drake turned his head towards Silver. "Is this true, mein Kapitän?"

Genie leaned over, "C'mon, Skipper. You really have a thing for her. Can't blame ya. She's smart. She's beautiful. She's fun. She's young--err. . . say, Luddy, just how old is she anyway?"

Von Drake lowered his brow, "Never you mind, ya kooky boy. It's not polite to talk about a woman's age."

"Well, anyway," Genie shrugged. "Smart, beautiful, fun, young, funny, kind hearted, AND. . . ." He paused to lean back to Silver, ". . . and she's single."

Silver glared at him in the corner of his flesh eye, "I thank ye to stow yer tongue, Lad."

As Chico Marx, Genie smiled, "C'moooon, Boss. You can tell us that you gotta crush on her."

"Vell, Kapitän?" asked Von Drake. "Is it true?"

Silver was only silent for a long moment. It seemed to Genie and Von Drake that he wasn't going to say anything at first until he gave out a slight harrumph, "She may be all of what you described, Lad. . . . but I may not have a chance wit' a Lass like her. Most likely she'd 'ave 'er luck wit' another man like her Robert."

"How do you know for certain about that?" Von Drake lowered his glasses and head to look up to Silver. "You knows what they says-- You don't knows what you can do until you try."

"Yeah," said Genie as himself. "These things can take a little time, Skipper. You keep it up and she'll fall for you in no time. It may have had a few bumps along the road back there, but I always say 'A rough beginning may have a smooth ending'."

"Ja," said Von Drake. "And if these mission of ours is ended, perhaps you can make her dream come true by having her sail around the uni-verse like she always wanted. Think about it."

So I suppose now Silver is having feelings for her? It's very inconsistent how DF portrays this relationship, one minute it's all blushes and stares and creepy flirtations, but the next is the usual barking at each other. And again, I love how Robert is just so casually brushed aside. Silver, bro, you already knew she had a husband before and that didn't stop you from creeping on, what's this sudden respect for the dead taken over you?

But Von Drake and Genie are good sports, and promised to keep secret Silver's feelings. I just know this'll lead to more *wacky shenanigans* later on, but whatever.

"Nein, nein," Von Drake shook his head. "I thinks that you should try some-ding new and original for Marina. After all, she already went through the chocolate and poetry bits and pieces with Robert. Perhaps a little some-ding that will really open her heart out to yous."

"What be her favorite flowers, Prof?"

"Bluebells," Genie held out a bouquet of said flowers. "Oh no. Wait. Those are my favorite flowers." He changed the bluebells into forget-me-nots, "Try these. Forget-me-nots. One wiff of these and she'll forget everything."

Remember when DF said that she thinks flowers and chocolates are totally stupid and dumb and how she's "above" that? Yeah, she settled her least favorite aspects of romance onto poor Bobby. Poor Bob never deserved any of this.

Von Drake took Genie by the wrist and lowered the bouquet, "Kapitän, if you really want to know. . . Marina's favorite flower is the blue Etherium Stellar Rose."

"Hmph," Silver smirked. "I should've guessed that with the perfume she's always wearing." He paused to rubbed his chin, "Too rare a flower 'round these parts. Pity they don't last long once brought to worlds like this."

"Why's that?" asked Genie.

Von Drake explained, "The Stellar Rose grows like an ordinary rose, but only in the Etherium. Their photosyn-thesis feeds off the lights of star and moonlight giving it a love-a-ly floor-sense."

"Floor scents?" Genie scratched his scalp. "Why would anyone like a flower that smells like floors?"

"He mean the flowers glow, Lad," Silver sighed aggrevatingly. "Once the flower is picked, it can still give off it's glow in the Etherium for a matter of five days at the least. But once it is brought into atmospheres of some worlds, the light they give off last for only a few hours. Once the glow is out they be but ordinary lookin' flowers."

"Ah! Glow-in-the-dark flowers," Genie understood. "I see."

Silver pressed the back of his head against the wall, "Well, since those kinds o' flowers are nowhere to be found in worlds like t'is. . . it seems that I'll have to give somethin' else a try."

On one side, this is actually pretty cool and creative (even if it's a cliche for the Sue to be linked to some magical out-of-this-world artifact), and I like when Andrea puts thought into world-building like this (I mean, flowers growing in space makes no sense, but they can breath in outer space in Treasure Planet, so anything of the like is possible in this world).

What does annoy me though is how easily Silver gives up, and how I know DF will surely throw these original ideas out the window in favor of more "Let's copy the movie script scene-by-scene!" Lord knows it'd be much more interesting to see Silver and Marina finding this silver flower than them clunkily interrupting the plot of Moana (to put an example).

Genie continued knitting the sweater he was working on. When he finished it within a few seconds, he stopped and looked at Silver to see if he was a asleep. Then he leaned over to Von Drake and whispered, "You up for playing a little match maker between the two of them?"

"Now, now," Von Drake's eyes didn't leave the radar as he shook a finger at Genie. "Let thems get together on their own. They needs to get to knows each other a bit more first. After alls, theys already becoming friends after knowing each other for a few weeks now. If dings don't work out, that is when we plays match maker. But have a little faith in this one."

"If you says so," Genie mimicked Von Drake's accent.

...Ya, we're gonna have those type of shenanigans. DF is very predictable when she wants to.

The next scene is filler stuff about Kopa, with stuff like Rapunzel and children who are staying in the castle due to the storm cooing over him, and I just have two questions in my mind.

1) How come nobody is alarmed at seeing a lion? Do 19th century Norwegians even know what a lion is?

2) Kopa still doesn't remember his parents? He's not a baby, and Simba seemed to be about his age when Mufasa's death occurred in the first movie. Seems like this bout of amnesia is oh-so-convenient.

Then they meet with Eugene.

"Hey," Eugene make a smug grin, "If you want him to have courage and wisdom, you should read him 'The Tales of Flynnigan Ryder'. That'll inspire him a lot."

Marina cocked a brow with a sarcastic smirk, "Flynnigan Rider, the swashbuckler who had adventure in his path no matter where he went."

Eugene waved a finger, "Ah, ah, ah! That's Flynnigan Rider, the dashing, handsome, and rich swashbuckler who had thrilling adventures in his path no matter where he went."

Marina crossed her arms, "I take it you're a fan of the story."

Rapunzel answered for him, "Perhaps the biggest fan of them all. He even changed his name to Flynn Rider when he became one of the most wanted thieves in all of Corona."

Marina nodded, "So I've heard. Just about everyone knows the story of the young thief who reunited the lost princess with her royal parents."

Eugene waved a finger once again, "Ah, ah! The story of the handsome young thief who reunited the beautiful lost princess with--"

Why does Marina seem mad at him? He hasn't said anything to her to get that "nagging wife"-esque reaction out of her.

And the last bit that isn't filler is that Jimminy has been looking at the king's chest and found his journal, that would apparently lead them "on" on Elsa's issues. Seems a little disrespectful to rummage through the dead's belonging, but whatever, the situation calls for it.

Next chapter is pretty much a recap of the first 10 minutes of Frozen with the journals describing Elsa's childhood, so Marina and the gang are up to date in the story (if in a voyeuristic fashion). Marina at one point suggests she'll leave in search of the girls, but i'm not sure if that'll happen.

I don't know why DF is taking so long writing this story. Aside from letting the chars stay stagnant in one place, she's also padding the story out with so much filler it feels the Frozen arc will never end. One good thing is that at least the filler in the Aladdin and little Mermaid arcs contributed to the story and the pacing was so much faster.

 

[omori]

How many fucking characters does she have hanging onto her Sue? There's a reason why adventure stories have three to five characters as part of the main cast.

 

[Atropos]

How many fucking characters does she have hanging onto her Sue? There's a reason why adventure stories have three to five characters as part of the main cast.

Too many to bother counting. It was worse back in the day, her first comic featured a character from every major Disney movie it seemed, almost none of them female.

 

[friedshrimp]

Yeah, it was funny how incidentally sexist the fic was. I mean, it still is nowadays, but before it was worse.

 

[KO 864]

Sorry for double post, but it seems @Cyan and @caffeinated_wench have gone MIA, and they were the biggest bringers of content to this thread, and what we liked to do was spork chapters of the fic, so while DF is still writing it...I don't think there's a problem for me to spork some of the stuff in the latest chapter.

I was originally gonna make a sporking of the latest chapter, but it's just long and boring Frozen recap, so if you've seen the film you're not missing anything.

However...Chapter 8 finds more promising things for us to pick.

https://disneyfan-01.deviantart.com/art/Faith-of-the-Heart-Pt-4-Ch-8-677067546

So maybe i'm not entering in this chapter with the most open of views (haven't read the latest chapters- not really a Frozen fan), so forgive me if i start asking questions like why is Von Drake suddenly there, and when did Rapunzel saw the lion, and such. And I haven't done a sporking before, so forgive me if i'm not too funny or I miss out on some details that make the chapter bad.

So, context; at least from what I can remember, the gang alongside with the Tangled characters are staying behind on Arendelle while the story of Frozen is taking place. I imagine the events happening now at the castle are occurring at the same moment Elsa is having her little Let It Go song and dance. So Marina and the gang are busy with taking care of the food, and apparently in the midst of it all, they managed to get contact with Mickey, and Maleficent was also seen for a moment.

Now, though, the gang is sleeping in the halls of the castle alongside with the town inhabitants who fled the winter caused by Elsa and blah blah, you've seen the movie, you know where this is going.

Spoiler: Lots of Silver creeping on Marina

Uuuugh science I guess? Who knew blue skin was more sensitive to extreme weather changes.



I know she does this to be "cute" and showcase Marina's motherly side, but I just feel it in my bones that if DF ever returns to make the Lion King plot we'll get a horrible, cliched story where Kopa has to "choose" between his two families. Gosh is that cliche terrible, and I just know DF will fuck it up in order to make Marina seem better compared to Simba and Nala.



Silver creeping on Marina is as always rather unnerving, but I like the idea of the characters bonding, even though these are a weird mix-up.



...And we're back to kissing Marina's ass.



...Yeah, that was a funny joke there!



We already know this information. Why do we repeat this? Marina is smart and adventurous, we get it.



Kooky german aside, whenever Robert is mentioned in the fic it's always so ham-fisted. And John getting jealous of somebody who's been like ten years dead...Lel.



Oh, she's going with that cliche then. I'd rather not, but oh well...



So I suppose now Silver is having feelings for her? It's very inconsistent how DF portrays this relationship, one minute it's all blushes and stares and creepy flirtations, but the next is the usual barking at each other. And again, I love how Robert is just so casually brushed aside. Silver, bro, you already knew she had a husband before and that didn't stop you from creeping on, what's this sudden respect for the dead taken over you?

But Von Drake and Genie are good sports, and promised to keep secret Silver's feelings. I just know this'll lead to more *wacky shenanigans* later on, but whatever.




Remember when DF said that she thinks flowers and chocolates are totally stupid and dumb and how she's "above" that? Yeah, she settled her least favorite aspects of romance onto poor Bobby. Poor Bob never deserved any of this.




On one side, this is actually pretty cool and creative (even if it's a cliche for the Sue to be linked to some magical out-of-this-world artifact), and I like when Andrea puts thought into world-building like this (I mean, flowers growing in space makes no sense, but they can breath in outer space in Treasure Planet, so anything of the like is possible in this world).

What does annoy me though is how easily Silver gives up, and how I know DF will surely throw these original ideas out the window in favor of more "Let's copy the movie script scene-by-scene!" Lord knows it'd be much more interesting to see Silver and Marina finding this silver flower than them clunkily interrupting the plot of Moana (to put an example).



...Ya, we're gonna have those type of shenanigans. DF is very predictable when she wants to.

The next scene is filler stuff about Kopa, with stuff like Rapunzel and children who are staying in the castle due to the storm cooing over him, and I just have two questions in my mind.

1) How come nobody is alarmed at seeing a lion? Do 19th century Norwegians even know what a lion is?

2) Kopa still doesn't remember his parents? He's not a baby, and Simba seemed to be about his age when Mufasa's death occurred in the first movie. Seems like this bout of amnesia is oh-so-convenient.

Then they meet with Eugene.



Why does Marina seem mad at him? He hasn't said anything to her to get that "nagging wife"-esque reaction out of her.

And the last bit that isn't filler is that Jimminy has been looking at the king's chest and found his journal, that would apparently lead them "on" on Elsa's issues. Seems a little disrespectful to rummage through the dead's belonging, but whatever, the situation calls for it.

Next chapter is pretty much a recap of the first 10 minutes of Frozen with the journals describing Elsa's childhood, so Marina and the gang are up to date in the story (if in a voyeuristic fashion). Marina at one point suggests she'll leave in search of the girls, but i'm not sure if that'll happen.

I don't know why DF is taking so long writing this story. Aside from letting the chars stay stagnant in one place, she's also padding the story out with so much filler it feels the Frozen arc will never end. One good thing is that at least the filler in the Aladdin and little Mermaid arcs contributed to the story and the pacing was so much faster.

Wow, I forgot how bad the dialogue was.

It's also annoying to see how little thought Andrea put in when she decided that Genie would be a good member of the cast just given how OP he'd be.
You think she put in any thought into what characters she chose above really liking them?

To give this thread more content I may spork the next chapter this arvo. Surely there'll be something to mock in a recap

 

[Atropos]

Wow, I forgot how bad the dialogue was.

It's also annoying to see how little thought Andrea put in when she decided that Genie would be a good member of the cast just given how OP he'd be.
You think she put in any thought into what characters she chose above really liking them?

To give this thread more content I may spork the next chapter this arvo. Surely there'll be something to mock in a recap

As of late, she's been including some extra characters based on weird Disney theories, like how Rapunzel is related to Princess Aurora or Elsa or something. I figure she just read this theory off the web and thought it was cool enough to write into her story. Still, she mainly just throws in characters on pure whim.

I'm willing to do some redlines of her art if we need content, or maybe a sporking if I can manage to sit through a whole chapter.

 

[KO 864]

Here is my sporking of the next chapter, sorry this is a bit late.

Spoiler: Long

This chapter starts with Marina walking out of Flynn telling his story (the plot of Tangled) into the freezing cold. This is so Andrea doesn't have to recap the movie as according to her 'Everyone knows it already', (then why are you just rehashing the plots of popular Disney movies and Tremors for some reason?) but she could have just skipped until after the story was done, as to not make it seem like Marina was uninterested in her new friend.

When outside we see Hans talking to a mother and child and surprisingly enough for badfic, he's not being a dick straight up.

"Everything's going to be okay," he told the family. "Princess Anna will find the queen and have her stop this weather."

"Bless you, Your Highness," said the mother. "Princess Anna made the right decision to place you in charge."

"Thank you, ma'am," Hans smiled.

The young daughter asked, "Is it true that you and the Princess are getting married soon?"

"Hopefully, yes."

"Does that mean you'll be staying here with us?"

Hans kindly placed a hand on her shoulder, "Most assuredly. It'll be my greatest pleasure to take care of Arendelle for a long time." He stopped when he looked up and spotted Marina watching him. He threw her a brief smile before he told the family, "Hurry along inside. There's plenty of soup and glogg in there. If you meet up with Mr. Blue and he'll make you a nice warm sweater in a matter of minutes.

"Thank you, Your Highness," said the father as he led his family into the castle.

Hans approached Marina, "You should be inside, Ms. Seadrift."

"Thank you for your concern, Your Highness," Marina nodded once. "But I'm fine. I had to stretch my legs a little." She raised her shoulders to bring her scarf higher to her jaw. "And to see if the storm has let up a little."

"It certainly doesn't seem like it," Hans looked around the court as the wind swirled the flurries in a large circle. "Have you and your friends been watching Anna's whereabouts on those. . . radars of yours?""

I am kind of curious as to what Andrea misspelled with glogg. Did she mean grog which would be especially funny considering that it's pirate terminology? Gruel? Some generic beverage?
Also, reading that whole thing again, it seems that Hans is actually caring. Now, this is being really on my part but given that the whole point of the plot (minus the romance and self-insert) is that these rip-offs of the Heartless are destroying worlds or something, maybe Andrea actually remembered about their existence and decided to put them behind the person that Hans turns out to be.

Then we get exposition from Professor Von Drake. Basically, Anna is coming the forest for Elsa, while Elsa is alone and the storm is coming from her location. The transcription of his accent is annoying throughout

"Vell. . . there still is one person around the mountains far too the north just standing around the places. That one person with the reindeer is still gallop-vanting around.

Actually it could just be typo ridden. I'm really not sure.

[Quote="Hans] If only you did give her one of these devices. She would probably find the queen easier.

Later:
Perhaps I should send someone after Anna to tell her that the queen is in the mountains. [/Quote]

Hans has the idea of using the space tech to actually speed up the plot but, as it would take some creative effort to change the plot of the movie that obviously can't happen.
Ludwig says that Anna would be fine and get where she needs to go eventually, despite previously expressing concern that the temperature was going down by half a degrees every hour which honestly, given that the snow is staying frozen, seems a bit slow for a Summer night (though it's likely not too warm in Scandinavian Summers).

"What is it, Silver?" asked Marina.

"The chips 'ave told us that Jiminy be waitin' for th' lot o' yeh in the library."

"Oh good," Marina smiled. "Now we're getting somewhere."

"Wait," said Von Drake. "Why didn't theys just tell us through the communicators?"

Silver answered, "The chips said that Jiminy be going through the entries in the journal to see what be important."

"What this all about?" Hans asked. "See if what's important?"

Before Marina answered she looked at the palace gates and saw another family hurrying into the courtyard. "We'll keep you informed if we find anything. It seems that you're still need with the people of Arendelle."

"Yes," Hans looked at the gates. "I need to return to my duties."

"You're a good lad, Yer Highness," Silver plopped his cyborg arm upon the prince's shoulder. "Keep up th' good work. You'll make a great leader to these people that there'll be no doubt that th' young queen will give you and the princess 'er blessin's."

Hans tried not to stare at the heavy arm of metal that weighed down upon him and refused to show fear of the man's lost right side. He smiled upon the captain and said, "That's what I hope for, Captain. And I thank you."

I momentarily forgot that for what ever reason, Andrea refers to Chip & Dale as "the chips". I'm honestly not sure whether she's just failing at being cute and shortening chipmunks or if she interprets Chip as being a last name, and them being a gay, married couple. Or brothers I guess. Or maybe Silver's nutty and likes to talk to his food. Who knows?

Hans continues to show himself a fantastic actor and shows no sign of being two-faced and there are a few places that don't quite read right. The second instance of "the chips" would read much better as 'they' and the sentence when Silver is complimenting Hans is clearly missing a word or two.

I just realised something. Why don't they just use Genie to counteract Elsa's magic? Like seriously, what's the point in having a (mostly) all powerful djinni when he doesn't use any of his magic for anything useful?

They (everyone one except for Rapunzel, Flynn, characters from Frozen, Genie who's not there as he likes the story (to bring him up to speed I guess so that he can reference Tangled) and Silver who's helping out with the efforts in the kitchen (to later justify his good behaviour) go up to the library to read through the personal diary of the previous king of Arendelle. As a group they only read through the stuff about Elsa's powers, but Jimminy who's meant to be a conscience (and is only really along as this fic is a Kingdom Hearts ripoff) read the entire thing to make sure he found the right entries. As Pascal is a reptile he needs to stay warm and conveniently the library has a heat lamp, several decades before the invention of electricity! If the cameo from Rapunzel is being considered cannon then this story definitely takes place before the industrial revolution. Unless the suethor means a lantern, Marina is being very choosy about what she uses her magical space tech/ magical magic for. Not that saving the life of a chameleon is a bad thing of course.

"This is perhaps the happiest day of my life. It is my first day as a father to the most beautiful baby girl. My beloved wife is doing just fine and the baby is very healthy. After announcing it to the entire kingdom, the air was aroused with great celebration. There's no doubt that the people of my kingdom will make a holiday of this day of December the 21st. As everyone, especially Iduna and I, finds this event as a blessing from God, we have given her the most perfect and suitable name. We've decided on Elsa. I just know that she will give us all such great love as we will give to her."

"That's so sweet," Goofy smiled. "It's always the best day of your life when your first child is born. Reminds me so much when my son was born."

"And the name 'Elsa' is a suitable name from the way they feeled," said Von Drake. "The meaning of the name is 'pledge to God'."

Donald scratched his scalp, "Yeah, but he doesn't say anything that has to do with Elsa's powers."

"In a way he does," said Jiminy. "Elsa was born on the 21st of December."

"So?" Dale shrugged. "A few days before Christmas?"

"No. It's Winter Solstice," Von Drake explained. "The longest day of the wintery season."

"Exactly," Jiminy nodded. "It may have something to do with it, or it may not. Either way it could have a connection."

A few things to go over in this subsection. First off is the name sperging about Elsa. It's kind of nice if a bit clunky pacing wise. Second is tying Elsa's powers to the Winter Solstice. It almost makes sense but then you have to consider how many people would be born on that day each year. Would all of them get ice powers? And if so, why aren't their existence more common place? Third is the usual typos. Fourth is not telling us the day that the diary entry was written. It'd be better writing to allow the readers a chance to make the connection themselves Nothing too major.

One thing that I just noticed that bugs me about her writing is an insistence of double spacing after each and every sentence. It just looks wrong.

"I have never been so scared for our newborn daughter. Iduna approached her in the middle of the night for her feeding and called to me frantically. I was running to the nursery scared out of my wits. As soon as I came into the room, I found Iduna holding our daughter. I was so worried if Elsa was hurt, but there wasn't a mark on her. However, I looked into Elsa's cradle to find her pillow and blanket covered in frost.
At first, I thought someone left a window open, but all of the windows in the nusery were shut and locked like all the others for the winter. The whole room was warm as always with the fire in the fireplace. It was impossible for frost to take form anywhere in that room.
Our greatest relief is that Elsa seems okay. She wasn't even crying from the chill of the ice around her. She didn't even feel cold in the very least. She seemed calm and felt safe in Iduna's arms as though nothing had happened.
I just can't understand it. What happened to our child tonight?"



Marina swallowed, "It must've been scary for any parent to find something like that."

"It sure is," Goofy nodded.

Dale asked, "Did they find out that it was Elsa who made the frost?"

Chip elbowed him, "Of course they did. It's obvious that they would find out."

Jiminy explained, "That was the very first sign of her powers. It was small, but it was a start. The next sign was two weeks later, just a few days after the celebration of the New Year." He paused to turn the next few pages, "It occured during Elsa's christening."

"Mickey was at her christening," said Marina. "I actually remember the day he left to come here."

"Me too," said Goofy. He chuckled, "A-hyuck! He told us he couldn't wait to see the daughter of one of his best friends and introduce himself as her Uncle Mickey."

So apparently a giant, talking, cartoon Mouse is common place but going by previous chapters, Goofy and space tech are strange. This fic doesn't even try to make logic. I'm also really not sure how this space stuff works. Mickey is a king in this universe but like is he king of a planet or just a regional kingdom? If it's the latter and the Kingdom of Corona is on the same planet, then is Mickey buddies with all of the kings on each planet, or are they adventuring within a small solar system. Surely it can't be that as the probability of so many planets in a sweet spot of life can't be that many in a single solar system. Is Mickey ageless being more of a toon than other characters giving him time to go throughout the universe on diplomatic visits?

Anyway, space confusion aside I'm going to only select juicy snippets of the story now as to not have this run for too long.

"It has happened again. A patch of frost has appeared and we have an answer this time thanks to my closest friend, Mickey.

Welp. Already off to a good start by having King Mick be somewhat of a Mary Sue. Not only is he the best friend of an alien king (Who isn't Michael friends with anyway? Pete? Phantom Blot?) He also knew the answer as to what caused the 'mysterious frost' as well as well as why, being that King Exposition is a descendant of the wizard Yen Sid. This gets me wondering what Disney non-sequel-films are 'cannon' and if they all are, then I think about maybe Michael Mouse doesn't age or alternatively, Yen Sid was way young when he had children, or he's really fucking old and has out lived all of his descendants, not including A&E. I guess it's also possible that in addition to being a king, Mick is an actor, who starred in a historical/semi-historical thingy about Yen Sid's apprentice.

Then there's some minor cute stuff with toddler Elsa and it seems that Mickey was best friends with Elsa and Anna. Honestly, I'm not sure if this makes Mickey a Mary Sue, being friends with super popular characters, no flaws, everyone loves in story, always right, or Elsa and Anna for being childhood friends with one of the most iconic characters of all time, having magic powers, being relatives of a great wizard, but I digress.

One thing I want to get out of the way is that I actually kinda like how Andrea used real Nordic names for The King (Agnarr though from what I gather it's an uncommon name, though as the name of a King in Norse mythology it's kinda fitting), and The Queen (Iduna) though being not wise to global names I had to use some Google-Fu to make sure she wasn't just giving them made up sue-fic names.

Then we get to the point where the movie starts. blah blah blah, Anna gets blasted, gets white in her hair, memory wiped, at least it wasn't a frozen heart, lock Elsa up for "her own good" causing the whole endless winter. Pretty much no one reading this wouldn't know the plot of Frozen.

I had hoped that we could use his help since he was trained under my ancestor, but he responded that it might be best for us all if he didn't help in person because he would have to come to Arendelle and stay in our kingdom for too long of times and people would notice that he would be here and he would be missed in his own kingdom.

Run on sentence. Also, I find it surprising that Michael in his awesomeness didn't work out why Elsa was having trouble controlling her powers, even giving the words "Conceal don't feel" which to me seems kind of OOC for Micky.

Mickey thought for a moment and huffed, "If only I could've offered more help to Elsa. Things would've been better if I took a closer look at how her powers worked. Agnarr was always the stubborn type. Once he made a decision about something. . . ." He paused to slightly smirk and shake his head, "So many times I asked him to have me come over and help out with her magic. . . but he thought that if I showed up more often, people would get suspisious about something. I did everything I could through our letters."

When they magically are able to get in contact with the King, he quickly passes the buck to his dead friend for Elsa's powers not going well. Honestly, I'm kind of liking this Mickey. He needs more character and refusing to admit to mistakes is a good flaw.

Von Drake held up the radar, "I've got Mickey's location this time. Unless the storm gets worse, I'll be able recontact him. What do you think of that, Mickey?"

"That's great, Professor. I'll let all of you go as of now. You seem to have a lot to do there. I'll keep my radar open for communications if you run into any problems. I'll even do what I can. I'll see if I can figure out what to do for Elsa."

So let me get this straight. The radars works for two way communication if you know the other persons location, and it was having a hard time tracking down His Royal Highness due to the storm. Ludwig was also able to work out other character's locations at a weaker point in the storm using the actual radar part of the radar. but could not reach Mickey So either the Radar-phone gets increased functionality during harsh storms, or Von Drake was just contacting everyone at Mickey's Castle until he got a hold of Mickey.

"It was really difficult to say no to Anna," Mickey smiled. "Almost every day I was there, she would ask 'Do you wanna build a snowman?' and. . . well. . ." He paused to chuckle, ". . . the next thing you know, we're up to our knees in snow. We did some sledding, a bit of skating, and always building a snowman named--"

"Olaf," Marina finished him off in the knick of time. "His name is Olaf and he--"

"--likes warm hugs." They spoke together.

Mickey nodded and sighed, "Ah, yeah. Those were the days."

Mickey reminisces on building snowmen with his best friends kids, despite probably raising Marina at this time, as if it were his college days or something.

This is followed by the heroes accepting their sidequest and vowing to stop the storm with out hurting Elsa. Then we get some character shilling for Elsa, pretty usual stuff really.

The radar shows that an unidentified, child-sized life form is wandering around and Marina actually remembers that The Nightmares (enemies in Kingdom Hearts DDD) actually exist. I think this is meant to be a cliff hanger but once again as it's stated to not be a Nightmare and Frozen is still within the knowledge sphere it's pretty obviously Olaf.

In short it's not an awful chapter but it's not exactly good by any means. As always it falters by just following the plot of an existing movie and having too many characters to have them all be doing something important. If the next chapter gets released it might get slightly better, but as it's likely to just be mediocrely boring, I think I'll pass on sporking it.

Edit: Also, sorry if it wasn't exactly funny. I've never done one of these before so I may have just gone more into shitty critique

 

[friedshrimp]

Good work! Glogg is actually a Norwegian drink, so DF isn't so off-the-mark there. It's still a boring chapter, and yeah, in the movie it made sense as to why Elsa had problems controlling her powers. If the fic suggests that Mickey, who's oh-such-the-wonderful-sorcerer, was who gave that bad advice to her...Man does that make him look bad.

Also, I found this. Seems like the weirdo kitty likes getting on John's nerves.

https://comments.deviantart.com/4/7488643/4377709524

 

[KO 864]

^Wow. I had no clue that DisneyFan attracted so many weirdos. I guess bad Disney art must be like honey to these guys. Almost gives me an idea to bait a few but in general they seem like pretty chill cows.

 

[friedshrimp]

I still can't get over how incidentally sexist the fic is (or was in previous iterations). Disney is littered with popular princesses in its canon, yet DF01 turns them all into damsels to get rescued only for her Sue to shine as the "superior" woman. And of course, the fact that she's the only woman on the crew...

 

[KO 864]

I still can't get over how incidentally sexist the fic is (or was in previous iterations). Disney is littered with popular princesses in its canon, yet DF01 turns them all into damsels to get rescued only for her Sue to shine as the "superior" woman. And of course, the fact that she's the only woman on the crew...

I think it's just a common trend in bad fan fiction. While it's obviously common in Yaoi, I've read a few fics in my time that aren't gay buttsex with not great female characters.

I think it's either a side effect of trying to make the OC seem better, or massive low self esteem from the author. No matter which it is, it's not good.

 

[KO 864]

https://disneyfan-01.deviantart.com/art/Faith-of-the-Heart-Pt-4-Ch-10-719827738

New chapter up if anyone wants to try spork it. If not I guess I'll have to do it.
It seems to be a follow up on the diary and if we're lucky (so not going to happen) we'll get the plot of Frozen to continue.

Edit: Is a double post separated by about a day still bad? If so I apologise greatly.

 

[friedshrimp]

DF saw this face and thought. "Mmh, yeah, I wanna fuck that."

 

[KO 864]

Okay, so as nobody took the bait it looks like I'll be sporking another chapter of this boring fan fiction. Hopefully it'll be more fun than last time.

Spoiler: Long

So the story starts off with Flynn's story finishing and then being recapped by Kopa, the now extremely non--canon son of Simba. Telling the backstory of Flynn and Rapunzel is obviously pointless as unless Gothel is brought back (which won't happen as Andrea can't devaite from the script) there is no way in which setting their characters have a point in the middle of the events of Frozen. As they are clearly the main focus of this world, the suethor should have instead just done a world based on Tangled, but due to a stupid Easter egg a lazy author saw a perfectly good opportunity to get two for the price of one.

"Perhaps enjoying a small celebration in a neighboring kingdom could ease a few things up.
Besides, I feel like it's been a long time since we've attended a wedding. This should be the wedding of the century since it is for the daughter of one of Iduna's old friends, King Fredric and Queen Arianna of Corona. After their daughter being missing for eighteen years, coming back safe and sound, and now she is getting married to the young man who saved her. Yes. This will be a wedding to remember.
I know this would be the first time I had ever left Arendelle since the accident, but since Elsa seems to be improving her concealing and not feeling, I'm sure things will be fine. We'll only be gone for two weeks. Everything will be okay."



"But it wasn't," Marina whispered quietly. She looked over at her satchel remembering that she still had the gift she wanted to give to Elsa and Anna, but never had the chance.

Here we get some (possibly official (forgot if it was confirmed)) fan wank about the cause of death of Iduna and Agnarr (turns out it's their official names as told by runes on their graves, who knew?). It's kind of tragic I guess but I really just think that it's a crappy way to 'canonize' a cute Easter egg like how The Duke and King from Cinderella are at Eric and Vanessa's wedding in The Little Mermaid.

According to some bs theory they died on the way to the wedding of Rapunzel and Flynn, as they were related or some shit (possible, royalty is known for its 'blue' blood (due to the incest)) and the reason that Rap and Flynn showed up to the coronation was feeling sorry about their death or something (can't quite remember). Kinda off topic but I'm pretty sure it was also confirmed by the film makers that Iduna and Agnarr were Mr and Mrs Tarzan which is impossible if the cameos from Flynn and Rapunzel are canon as Tarzan clearly takes place in the Victorian era (as mentioned by Jane when she wants to take Tarzan back to London) and Tangled is clear pre-Industrial Revolution (maybe during the Renaissance. I'm not good with history.)

She then looked up at all of the children as they were smiling and giggling for Eugene and Rapunzel's wedding story. However, she noticed that all of the mothers in the knitting circle were only forcing themselves to smile as something sad was on their mind but they didn't want to ruin the happiness the story was bringing their children. Marina knew what it was. No doubt they were thinking of their beloved King and Queen as they were sailing off to attend the wedding in Corona, but never returned.

Marina's brow tightened up as she drew in a deep breath.

She remembered three years before when Mickey discovered of Agnarr and Iduna's fate. At first, he was concerned about the fact that no letters were coming in from Arendelle. Since Agnarr was the one who held the secret of how the letters were sent from one world to another via message rockets, it was obvious that no one in the kingdom would know how to inform Mickey of the bad news. Marina often wondered how Mickey got the letter that told him what had happened. Then it occured to her that perhaps the letter telling him was sent by Yen Sid himself, or perhaps by Merlin since he was known to be a soothsayer.

Mickey, of course, learned about what had happened to Agnarr and Iduna too late which was the reason why he never attended their funeral service.

My personal Disney sperging aside, Marina then comments that while all the children are thrilled about Flynn's story it seems that the parents have something on their minds that keeps them from truly getting into the story. She makes the totally logical conclusion that it's about the king and queens death and not about the impeding winter that's likely to kill everyone and royally fuck up the environment for ages. Look, to be fair it'd be a good conclusion if this was before Elsa's coronation instead of in the middle of the endless winter.

Then we get the big secret as to how letters go between worlds. Rockets. Assuming that outer space works similarly to reality then Michael cracked how to move stuff at ftl speeds to make sure that he could stay pen pals with his butt buddy.
Like seriously, while Treasure Planet goes for this Sci-fi-17th century thing, is it really to much to ask for in a world of space ships to have holograms or video chat or instead, in a word full of magic, sending magic messages or something, especially considering we're dealing with Frozen, a movie built around sorcery, and Mickey fucking Mouse, someone who's established to be the great wizard Yen Sid's apprentice?

Oh and get this, after a majority chunk of the last chapter being dedicated to diary entries,, instead of focusing on present conflict, instead getting a flashback to three years ago when Mickey found out about his secret lover's death.

From one white block to the next, Marina hopped as far as her long legs could reach. She was lucky enough each time to hop on each block without slipping off right as Mickey threw more pickleballs at her one at a time, but her reflexes picked up each throw as she swatted each ball away with her practice sword.

Some of the white blocks were higher than the next, but the few red blocks were not to be touched for that was a loss of points and the floor was the loss of all points. To make it harder, the blocks changed their color at random numbers of seconds. It was all jumping and leaping and hitting and, most importantly, watching her step.

The buzzer went off again when Marina realized she landed on a red block at the last second. The very millisecond she realized it, her guard was down and a pickleball bounced off her forehead.

"Ah, c'mon, Mick!" she grunted. "This kind of training isn't fair!"

Mickey chuckled, "Sorry about that, Marina. But I think it's a great way of trying out your reflexes."

Pluto was laughing under his breath as he was returning the pickleballs one by one.

"Yeah, but since when do battles have to be a game of 'The Floor is Lava'?" she hopped down to the padded floor of the gym and sat there with her legs crossed trying to catch her breath. "I mean, seriously. I don't remember any stories of knights fighting off monsters while jumping from one rock to the next."

Mickey shrugged, "You never can tell. It might happen. Best to be prepared for all kinds of battle out in the Etherium."

That was when the two of them heard a certain quacking laugh echoing within the large room. Marina rolled her eyes and sighed, "Donald. Are you here to tease me again? Don't you have a home to go to?"

"It's just funny to see you miss and get bopped on the head," Donald walked in with his flat feet flopping onto the padded floor.

"I'll bop you on the head, feather brain," Marina wiggled her practice sword at him. "How 'bout another round? First one who gets bopped on the head has to buy me a new pair of shoes."

"Ah phooey," Donald frowned. "That's the same deal you made last time. You're getting to think too much like Daisy."

"What's the matter, Don?" Marina teased. "Don't tell me there's a smidgen of chicken mixed into your heritage, too."

"Oh yeah?!"

"Here we go again," Mickey crossed his arms and smiled as this was always entertaining to him. Pluto set another pickleball down and sat next to Mickey with his tail wagging.

Donald took a staff with a foamed end much similar to his mallet off the wall. He approached the circle where Marina waited for him and got ready. He said, "Okay, when I say 'Now', we start."

"When you say what?"

"Now."

*BOP*

"I win. Victory is mine!"

"Hey! You tricked me! I wasn't ready!"

"Too bad. So sad. I win. Hmm, let me think. What kind of shoes would I like to get this time?"

"Now just a rotten minute!"

*BOP*

"You said 'Now', Don," Marina teased. "That's two pairs of shoes you owe me!"

"WAAAAAAAK!!"

As Donald was hopping up and down with his facial feathers turning red, Mickey and Pluto remained where they were giggling at the sight. That was until Clarabelle came into the gym.

"Ah, there you are, Your Majesty." She approached him with an envelope in her hand and stopped by his side when she saw Donald throwing out his temper. With her fists on her hips, she tightened her brow, and pouted, "Oh, are they at it again?"

"As always," Mickey shrugged.

Clarabelle handed him the envelope, "Well, here's a letter that came to you. I'll try and handle this."

"Who's it from?" Mickey asked.

"I dunno. No return address. It came in by a message rocket. Express for that matter."

Mickey took the letter and opened it as Clarabelle marched up to Marina and Donald. She clapped her hands loudly, "Now, stop this now! Both of you! You're both adults! Let's start acting like it!"

"Well, she started it!" Donald stomped his foot.

"Did not!" Marina stuck out her tongue.

"You cheated!"

"You never can tell if an enemy cheats," Marina smirked. "Be prepared for everything. Right, Mick?"

When Mickey didn't answer right away, Marina looked over at him finding him staring at the letter.

Donald stomped his foot again, "I don't care! And anyways, I'm not buying you anything because Daisy will want to come too and we'll be shopping all day again!"

"And what's wrong with that?" Clarabelle raised a brow. "You say as though it was a bad thing. Come to think of it, I could go for a little shopping spree myself. Mind if I tag along?"

"Ah, phooey! You're not going because we are not going shopping in the first place because Marina was not fair with her bet! And furthermore--"

"Don," said Marina.

"-- I've had enough of these doggone shopping sprees with you girls! For years, I'm the one holding the bags and you all shop way too much! And another thing--"

"DON!!" Marina grunted trying not to raise her voice. She glaced at both him and Clarabelle and looked back at Mickey.

When all three were looking, they saw that Mickey's hands were trembling as he held the letter. When his breathing was getting shorter, Pluto became concerned enough to nudge against him. Mickey shivered as he held the letter close and his face tensed up. He placed his hand on Pluto's shoulders has he drew in a studdering breath with tears filling up his eyes.

Marina blinked as this was perhaps the first time in her life she had ever seen tears in the eyes of Mickey Mouse.

"Mickey? Are you okay?"

He took in another deep breath and looked at his friends with a sniffle, "No. It's. . . it's Agnarr. He and Iduna are dead."

Marina and Clarabelle gasped as their hearts fell to the floor. Donald's brow eased up as his own heart felt for his friend who was crying before him. Pluto whimpered as he nuzzled against Mickey for comfort.

"They were sailing their way to a wedding in Corona, but got caught in a storm near Denmark. No one survived."

"Oh, Mick. . . I'm so sorry," Marina's eyes were getting misty as she was thinking of all the wonderful stories Mickey once told her about him and his close friend from Arendelle.

Donald walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Me too. I'm sorry, Mickey. Is there something I can do?"

Mickey closed his eyes trying to fight his tears, but was failing at doing so. He slowly shook his head, "No, Donald. But thank you. I just. . . need to be alone for moment."

Donald nodded as Mickey turned to exit the gym. Pluto wanted to follow him, but after hearing that he wanted to be alone, he remained where he was with his eyes all big and soulful.

Marina and Clarabelle came to Donald's side as they watched Mickey leave. The sound of him sniffling made their hearts sink again.

"Poor Mick," Marina placed a hand on her chest wanting the pain to stop. "He and Agnarr were like brothers for years."

"And he missed the funeral, no doubt," said Clarabelle. "He must feel worse for that."

Pluto whimpered as Donald placed a hand on his back. No one said a word as their hearts remained heavy.

All hearts were heavy that day after word went around of what became of King Agnarr and Queen Iduna. Mickey kept himself locked away for a few days until he was well enough to start a private service for his departed friend. All in all, everyone felt Mickey's pain just by looking at him. He never had to say a word about it. His big round eyes that were wet for days were enough to speak for him. Even to the present, when he had his big smile on his face and the light of happiness in his eyes as he acted cheerful, if one knew him well enough, one would know that somewhere deep inside him was a scar that twinged for his lost friend.

Despite being quite dull I have a few things to raise from that flashback sequence. First is the all important question of "What the hell is a pickle ball?" Looking it up it seems to be a rubber ball of some kind used in the sport of the same name. This sport is a mix of tennis and squash. Next I wondered if there really was any chicken in the Duck family, and looking through the best source of an answer (The family tree Don Rosa did) I can safely say that no he's not related to any chickens that we know of.
Then I wondered why The Don had his character tank on empty but in badfic it's best no to question these things.
An appearance of Clarabelle in anything is nice I guess. (though I would have preferred Horace. Or Peter Pig. Or Clara Cluck!) It's really surprising when she's even acknowledged in anything (though, given how much she ripped off from Kingdom Hearts, Timeless River/Disney Town likely has something to do with this.) and it's nice to see her not just going for obvious Disney properties in her abomination. Wait. Did I just try to brag about how much of a Disney fan I am?
The last two thing that bugs me about this flashback are Mickey having a dickish and stupid training regime, and Frozen/Tangled definitely taking place on Earth due to the mention of Denmark, but other clearly Earth-based Disney films (Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, Tremors for some reason (pretty sure that's not even Disney)) being on different planets. She really didn't think this out and I really need to calm down. This fic is really not good for me.

We then get Marina crying over Mickey crying and then have the main characters of Frozen being remembered in Marina-Sue thinking about how sad it must've been for Anna and Elsa, especially the latter as she would've been flooded with emotions at the funeral and thus had to not go. (wasn't she shown going in the film? I really can't remember)
We also then get something that's always bugged me about Frozen being Anna living all the time in the Castle, without leaving, despite that being incredibly exceptional and making no logical sense considering how lonely she is and how much she wants to find a man.

Then we get this gem

"It's hard," Marina whispered softly to herself. "So sad." She tensed up and looked away hoping no one noticed her eyes getting misty. She then thought to herself, "Triton. If only you didn't have such a grudge for so long." A bit of anger was about to rise from her heart but she fought it when she thought of the reason why Triton had such a grudge and she had the regret having one against him because of that reason.

I must really not be paying attention to this story as I just put together that Denmark was the setting of the Little Mermaid (being where Hans Christian Anderson was from) and that Triton, king of dads that 'just don't understand their daughters', sunk the ship that Iduna and Agnarr were on. This means that there are multiple goings on, on this planet that are likely of different Earth time periods that all happened around the same time (TLM was the last visited world), none of them having anything to do with these Nightmares that are meant to drive the plot. It's obvious that the plot really revolves around the relationship between Marina and Silver, so why have to plots going on, meaning that neither of them can really be committed to by the author.

She stared into the lion cubs big brown eyes. He grew a smile and said, "Marina, don't be so sad about Ariel all the time. It'll be okay. We'll get her and her father back safely. The way you guys protect others, I'm sure you can suceed in saving others."

I have zero idea as to what Kopa is reffering to here but I assume that they have Ariel and Triton locked up in the brig for some reason. Maybe they wanted to change the plot of their movie. Who knows?

The probably the most useless of the party members (in terms of actual powers, not what they do for the plot), Non-canon Kopa comes back into the action, and I swear that every time he says "Marina" I read it as 'Mama' as that's obviously what Andrea was thinking while writing this story. It's remembered that Kopa was injured doing some shit and was kidnapped from his parents (I think they were too busy with their canon children to care) and so he's in pain from his front legs, which he reguarly needs to walk. Taking him along was a clear liablility and in the very least should have been left on the ship.

It seems that magic space vitamins (why not just say a potion or a healing thingy invented by Ludwig?) has been making his bones heal at a fantastic rate of being almost a week now and pretty much being fully healed. I'm sure there will be times in the future where these vitamins would come in handy but obviously won't be used.
Long, Silver, and Handsome comes in and promises to bring some tea. His accent is not fun to read.

After making sure no one else was listening, Marina answered, "Actually. . . yes and no. But nothing that could help us stop this winter. As far as we know, Elsa is the only one who can stop it with her powers. However, she spent her whole life trying to suppress it instead of learning how to use it." She looked at a shuttered window knowing that it was getting dark outside and, no doubt, colder by the minute. "If things aren't back to normal real soon. . . I think the boys and I will have to go out there and look for Elsa and Anna ourselves."

We are now being explicitly told what needs to happen to stop the winter (Elsa accepting and then controlling her powers) as if we couldn't work it out for ourselves/haven't seen Frozen. In general it's a sign of bad writing when the author doesn't let the audience come to any conclusions themselves and instead tells them everything.
After Genie is complimented on his knitting he says

"D'oh, shucks. You flatter me."

which is a possible reference to how Genie was voiced by Dan Castelenetta (voice of Homer Simpson) in Aladdin 2 and the TV series.

Most of the gang are about to go out and help Anna but Johnny comes back to give Marina her tea and soup. Hans continues to prove himself a good leader by telling Silver to tell the rest of thr cooks to ration off the food within 24 hours if the storm doesn't stop. This will ensure that no one starves. During this section Chip and Dale refer to themselves as Rescue Rangers which makes me think that Mickey's castle is located on the same planet as Duckberg just due to having 'modern' (1980-90s) cities.
Rapunzel comments that Silver very obviously cares for Marina (doubt it) to which Marina responds that they've only been traveling for around three weeks but are friends non-the-less. I'm not good at space geography and I've likely forgotten most of this fic but I assume that most of that had to have been travel time.
This conversation about love leads to Robert making his first mention in a while and apparently they were married either in a week or a month. I'm not quite sure how to intemperate the story. It's accidentally let slip that Robert was part Virnyy which I assume are some kind of alien. Marina warps it into being a tribal group who value honour and shit.

Marina opened her eyes and looked at Rapunzel. Just seeing that smile in that young face made Marina smile back with her response, "Thank you. But. . . it's something I've been getting over for fifteen years now. I've shed my tears for Robert long enough now." She rested her head back on the wall again and stared at the fire burning in the corner of her eye. As she was remembering every word that was given to her from Robert's spirit through Madam Leota. She thought of the words with the sound of Robert's voice and that made her grow a smile.

To add to this Disney hodge-podge it seems that Madame Leota is dragged into this mess. I have no clue as to why she's here but she does not deserve this fate.
Rapunzel insists that Marina should get to know more about Silver and let their relationship blossom. They are clearly miss-matched as a couple but a date chapter or two could be more interesting that film recaps.
The Duke thinks that the gang might be spies for Elsa but so far nothing comes of it and nothing else happens for the rest of the chapter.

In short dull, very dull, probably more so than last chapter. I hope I made it kind of interesting. I've a good feeling about the next chapter but knowing my luck it's not gonna work out.
Reading the comments on the chapter I Find it hard to believe that multiple people actually like it. I guess there must be legit fans for everything.

 

[Creepy Sparrow]

DF saw this face and thought. "Mmh, yeah, I wanna fuck that."

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Why

 

[KO 864]

Why

Thirst knows no bounds. Even attractiveness .

 

[friedshrimp]

No way in heck this whole story has happened in over three-weeks. Admittedly, the timeline is kept ambiguous due to the "adventures in space" setting, and it takes ages for Andrea to write something, but no way has it only been three weeks. At the most maybe it could've been a month.

Lol, the chicken thing. Maybe it's just me looking at things that aren't there, but I know in this universe chickens can be considered actual races (or at least they can stand in for latinos- Panchito is a rooster, at least)...Does DF just insinuated Donald is half hispanic, and that's bad? Lol, Marina confirmed racist. 8)

I still don't see what's the point of Kopa being there. It doesn't look like DF is planning to go back to the Lion King world, but he's also not helping in any way with the Nightmares, so I have no idea why is he there in the first place. I'd say "it's cause DF likes him", which is the big reason why other characters are/aren't in the crew (Genie even though his presence creates huge plot holes, and no women bc DF is subconsciously sexist), but has he appeared in any piece of media that could warrant "hey, this character is cool" excuse?

Yeah, the stuff of the "Disney worlds joined together" theory doesn't make any sense, and I think the Frozen directors just said that to enable the fans. Tarzan takes place in the times the books were written, and while Frozen seems to take on the same time period, the parents don't look alike at all, and Tangled is just a mishmash of different time periods so it's hard to pinpoint an specific time outside of "once upon a time...". But eh, Disney spergs are gonna sperg.

Does anyone think the way Rapunzel speaks in this fic is rather stilted? Rather I remember she spoke very energetic and enthusiastic in the film, but here she seems like a robot or something. And of course she'd be all romantic and supportive of Silver and Marina, eugh...

Also, interesting you didn't mention the Germany, Spain and Ireland scenes. Andrea mentions dignitaries and ambassadors for these countries were at Elsa's coronation, which further confuse me. Are they countries in this fic too, or are they worlds? Then does that mean FOTH's Spain conquered a whole world constituent of the Americas, or that the Irish fled their world to immigrate to the world of the USA? I'm very confused... She really needs to work more on her world-building more than anything else.
KH might have issues in their writing, but at least the stuff of different worlds is rather consistent and makes sense, and I'm surprised DF didn't copy the one thing of the games that was consistent.

And of course the Spaniard has to speak Spanglish.

 

[KO 864]

No way in heck this whole story has happened in over three-weeks. Admittedly, the timeline is kept ambiguous due to the "adventures in space" setting, and it takes ages for Andrea to write something, but no way has it only been three weeks. At the most maybe it could've been a month.

Lol, the chicken thing. Maybe it's just me looking things that aren't there, but I know in this universe chickens can be considered actual races (or at least they can stand in for latinos- Panchito is a rooster, at least)...Does DF just insinuated Donald is half hispanic, and that's bad? Lol, Marina confirmed racist. 8)

Also, interesting you didn't mention the Germany, Spain and Ireland scenes. Andrea mentions dignitaries and ambassadors for these countries were at Elsa's coronation, which further confuse me. Are they countries in this fic too, or are they worlds? Then does that mean FOTH's Spain conquered a whole world constituent of the Americas, or that the Irish fled their world to immigrate to the world of the USA? I'm very confused... She really needs to work more on her world-building more than anything else.

And of course the Spaniard has to speak Spanglish.

Sorry for leaving that out. I thought it was more boring than the rest of it so I skipped it but. I can always add on an epilogue criticism as it's after/during when I stopped.
The way I'm interpreting the planets is that each planet is Earth in a different time period/with animals. This is just going on the fact that Marina seems to think it's a big deal that she keeps the etherium and space travel a secret. This does leave it kind of random that Mickey was friends with Agnarr of all the royalty on this planet, given that he'd likely be speaking Norwegian instead of English/Galactic Basic.
You are completely right in that some world building is in order as this shouldn't be as confusing as it is.