It was a cold musky night in Utah, and Welper looked at his date, the most beautiful Mormon woman in his neighborhood. Together, they weighed a light 630 pounds, with Welpers' inflamed hands compromised 10lb of that. He looked her in the eyes, brushing away her blonde hair covering her eye and said "you... you showed me hands and didn't disappoint." The woman slightly coughed and said "Oh, I - Thank you. I really appreciated how you took me to the the On The Border near my house and told me that my lady's raunch water was killing me. Did you... Want to..." - "Yes, I would love to show you my various guns." "No. What I mean is do you want to... you know... retire to sleep?"
Welper raised an eyebrow. "Ye-Yeshh.. I would like that, I suppose. I guess." Holding her hand, he brought her to the bedroom, when he sweeped off the the various anime statues where Goku and JoJo are holding shotguns, putting on the finest romantic music of all, FF8's Eye's On Me. Spraying the top comfort layer with a quick febreeze, he sat down. "My... angel. Come to me and we will uh - come together, soon. In the act of sex." She looked at him and slowly slipped one arm out of her Def Leppard XXXL t-shirt. Smiling, Welper turned off the lights.
Legends say to this day, you can hear what sounds like two garbage bags filled with blood and marbles hitting a wall echo throughout the desert. The passion leaving a mark which no man could ever match, a romance linked not only to hedonism, but of faith.