DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Iron Hamster]

what's unwatchable is your profile pic. i want to throw up looking at that clown mode stroke lip

It's wild that he's still so desperate to be the new pogchamp. That's some serious mental illness.

she would make lumpia

Phail married a lumpia. Checkmate loser.

so this segment has no value to the viewer

No segment of his slop nontent has any value to a viewer.

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Timbo on suicide watch until Sunday damn

The panicked look on his face when he thinks someone will show up on his doorstep.

Why do these secret detractors that lie in wait to ruin his life never affect DoorDash?

because:

Holy paranoia. For someone who doesn't care about the trolls, he sure makes them out to be a giant bogeyman that's around every corner, ready to jump out and fuck with him. This is just pathetic and sad.

He needs the trollz to justify his own existence.

 

[Fridge Raider]

The bird may be skinny now but the reason Phil might be reluctant to parade her around is because she may have a worse Ozempic face than he.

I firmly believe that if she was skinny we would see it. Remember that crashout he did like a month ago where he listed off all the things that bother him the most? "I'm not fat, my wife hasn't left me, she isn't fat, I'm not poor" that whole thing. He would do literally anything to disprove the MASSIVE (pun intended) "my wife is fat" memes. He would find a way to show us, this dude's entire life is about owning the trolls there is no chance that he wouldn't show us she was skinny if he could.

He mentioned to Ashton she had thyroid issues, which could be a lie, but if it's true then she may not be able to take Ozempig. Or she may have other conditions that he doesn't wanna show on stream. But it is my firm belief that if she looked better he would show us, because nothing matters more to him than winning over us.

 

[strandedcastaway]

Is Timbo the guy that told him the card shop was "across the street from Chipotle"? That whole crashout struck me as super fake, like the KCD2 one. A viewer spends money to tell him about a nearby store and he feels like his best option is to say "No, there's not a store in the exact location you described, you're a fucking idiot and you don't know what you're talking about." over and over for ten minutes.

I think it must be his self-preservation anti-detractor instinct kicking in. He doesn't want to discuss the exact area where he lives because he doesn't want more people to go look up his address or whatever, but he also doesn't want to say that because it makes him feel like a pussy, so instead we get a fake crashout where he berates a paypig for a bizarrely long time. For the entire rant I was thinking "Even in Phil's mind, I can't understand how he thinks doing this would benefit him."

It's not fake at all---he treats people that way all the time because he's a narcissistic asshole shut-in.

Crashing out at someone trying to help him, then denying the existence of a card store 3 miles from him (that you could confirm the existence of in a millisecond), then admitting it exists but it's in a war zone, while saying it's frustrating that people think they know more than him while he's 100% wrong....is so incredibly PHIL.

 

[HorseWifeAppreciator]

He doesn't want to discuss the exact area where he lives because he doesn't want more people to go look up his address or whatever,

You are saying this like his address isn't already public knowledge

 

[Cyber Bowling]

I don't think Phil actually believes he's going to be attacked if he does things outside, but I do think he sees it as the perfect excuse not to and probably gets a little thrill fantasising about being notorious enough that people would want to fuck with him.

I used to be in that camp when I first started following Phil, but now I think it's a legitimate concern. Detractors really live rent free in Phil's head, and because he's been a hermit shut in for so long, he's feeding into his own delusion. And he's shown to be overly paranoid about his safety before, it's a big part of why he doesn't want to go to Walmart. Yeah, part of it is an elitist mindset of not wanting to shop with the poors, but part of why he doesn't want to be around them is he think he'll be stabbed.

There was one incident that really stood out to me, early Covid, where he said he finally went to the store and was shocked how peaceful it was, like he was expecting some kind of warzone where he'd have to bust out his hatchets. Speaking of, I'd argue that's another example of paranoid Phil. He tried to mask it as being tough guy Phil, but I think he actually felt like he needed the self-defense. Phil is also just a massive pussy, he's too cowardly to even talk back to a kid on VR chat when they can hear him. Obviously, he wasn't always like this, there's footage of him out in the wild and stories of people interacting with him, but those are from like, 20+ years ago now, and Phil has definitely devolved in that time from his hermit lifestyle. I think the biggest nail in the coffin was Doordash becoming widely available in the last couple of years. I don't think Phil even goes out anymore on his day off.

It's probably not solely out of fear of being attacked specifically, laziness is certainly a big part of it, but I think the more Phil has embraced the hermit lifestyle, the more it's naturally fueled his paranoia. He might actually think of it more as "you're safe in your snortfort, why leave it" as opposed to "you'll be attacked if you go outside"

 

[QwahlityKahntent]

You are saying this like his address isn't already public knowledge

yeah but he literally believes the only reason trolls don't mess with him is because he's in a "gated community". just ignore the fact that the door code is public knowledge and you can just walk around the gate if you wanted

 

[CopingSneedingDentractor]

yeah but he literally believes the only reason trolls don't mess with him is because he's in a "gated community". just ignore the fact that the door code is public knowledge and you can just walk around the gate if you wanted

Have you considered that once you cross that line you get a 5 star wanted level and the cops spawn down the street you dunce?

He believes that if you were to walk past his shitty gate the cops are coming instantly to put you away forever and also that if you go to any tourist spot in the area you are robbed and/or killed. It's true even. I have family that lived in Seattle and they were robbed, raped, and shot for even attempting to go to the space needle. RIP. Don't ever leave your middle unit townhouse Phil. Your physical health is more important than your deteriorating brain. Stay inside for good. You're happy there ya get it chief?

 

[HorseWifeAppreciator]

yeah but he literally believes the only reason trolls don't mess with him is because he's in a "gated community". just ignore the fact that the door code is public knowledge and you can just walk around the gate if you wanted

To be fair it is a rather tangy gate.

 

[Samuel Fuller]

To be fair it is a rather tangy gate.

I hear it is remarkably robust and zesty.

 

[Fridge Raider]

just ignore the fact that the door code is public knowledge and you can just walk around the gate if you wanted

I love when he tells the stories about how you can just steal from any store in Washington if you want and the police won't do anything, but then also maintains that if you trespass in his gated community the cops will show up and put you in handcuffs and maybe even kill you because that is ILLEGAL. Like bro they ain't gonna do shit, they're gonna see it's from a code 220 and say "everyone is busy we'll get there when we can". But... No one is gonna do it! No one cares that much except maybe Doody who is a total fucking loser and lolcow himself. He tends to lump us all in together when the kind of people willing to call and harass a store, or mess with his router, or hack his banking info, those are a vast minority. I'm not gonna moralfag and say how bad that shit is, I don't care, but most of us just want to laugh at this clown. Or sometimes write dissertations on what's going on mentally with him because his mind doesn't work in the way my own mind expects other humans to behave. But ain't no one gonna show up at his chinky chicken restaurant, he's scared of his own shadow. Honestly I'd be far more concerned that one of the whales will come for their due at some point after paying his wages for years.

 

[Iron Hamster]

He mentioned to Ashton she had thyroid issues, which could be a lie,

I mean it could be just as simple as all that fat choking the thyroid out.

 

[GibMoneyPls]

She probably has a thyroid issue that requires steroids. Thats probably what helped balloon her ass up in the first place. That was always my guess, she kind of got that moon face that the munchie girls who abuse steroids have.

 

[Iron Hamster]

She probably has a thyroid issue that requires steroids. Thats probably what helped balloon her ass up in the first place. That was always my guess, she kind of got that moon face that the munchie girls who abuse steroids have.

well, maybe that but def from Phail's Uber eats deserts.

 

[Windy Moors]

Welcome.....Home.....To.....Tor.

I've updated Dragon Faggot's fetish list and nearly choked to death laughing at "begging" being on there:

Spoiler: Bonus

Credit @AGoodBrazilian


Credit @Rowbutt Batmin


Credit @Comma

 

[King of Hateful Slurs]

Super funny seeing DSP call anything slop when the guy has 69,000 uploads just on his main channel lmao

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

She probably has a thyroid issue that requires steroids. Thats probably what helped balloon her ass up in the first place. That was always my guess, she kind of got that moon face that the munchie girls who abuse steroids have.

Maybe, but you don't get that big and that quickly without terrible nutrition discipline. Plus, it makes a lot more sense that she's so depressed and unfulfilled living with Phil forever that she devours for any joy.

 

[Eekum Bokum]

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Super funny seeing DSP call anything slop when the guy has 69,000 uploads just on his main channel lmao

I thought he enjoyed it when he first played it, what's his reasoning for why it sucks other than not making money?

 

[emitter]

I'm sure Phil has had orders sent to his condo like Cobes did.

Now I have a mental image cracking me up of Kat constantly peeking out the door, seeing mysterious doordash deliveries, quickly devouring them, and saying nothing to Phil while she hears the soft echoes of "alright guise please support the stream, I just bought another box of pokemon cards since you all begged me for it..."

 

[QwahlityKahntent]

what's his reasoning for why it sucks

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

Now I have a mental image cracking me up of Kat constantly peeking out the door, seeing mysterious doordash deliveries, quickly devouring them, and saying nothing to Phil while she hears the soft echoes of "alright guise please support the stream, I just bought another box of pokemon cards since you all begged me for it..."

Funny, but a real possibility.