“Hot” celebs who are not that attractive

[Lobster Cult High Priest]

Men dislike seeing the natural order inverted. If you're an adult male and you see some twinkish teen Leonardo with an attractive girl, your natural instinct is to pick him up by the scruff of the neck and chase him off. But when an actor grows up, fills out and is more mature, then he's just one of the boys.

Maybe. I never really felt any resentment to any male actor over having some teen girls fawn over him. I only feel vague horror when it's someone like Timothee Chalamet or Pedro Pascal because it seems so obviously a socially manipulated thing to get women fawning over weak and abusive men. It's the phenomenon and artificiality of it that is repugnant.

Justin Bieber will likely be next. Going from the Twink boy that every man hated to looking like a methhead roof who will steal your copper (aka Literally me)

 

[General Patton]

Justin Bieber will likely be next. Going from the Twink boy that every man hated to looking like a methhead roof who will steal your copper (aka Literally me)

Sounds like Aaron Carter.

 

[Shakira Flabbergasted]

Justin Bieber will likely be next. Going from the Twink boy that every man hated to looking like a methhead roof who will steal your copper (aka Literally me)

Twink death came for JB at least five years, twenty tattoos, and one terrible mustache decision ago. So far I haven't seen any men idolizing him, probably because his muscles aren't very big and his wife supports abortion.

 

[Otterly]

I was a bit too old for the Bieber mania, but he just looks unwell nowadays. The tatts and the moustache are awful, he looks poorly, he looks like he’s just been rescued from done kind of awful hostage situation or something.
Shame because he could be nice looking - if he’d looked after himself properly he’d have aged into Canadian Johnny Flynn.

 

[Waffle Iron]

So far I haven't seen any men idolizing him, probably because his muscles aren't very big and his wife supports abortion.

I think it's because he isn't really pushed as a man's man. Leonardo stayed in the spotlight when he grew older and took on more mature roles. If he only played his girl sexy roles and left the industry when he was 25, men would never idolize him. As for justin bieber, there was never a shift to mature ladies man Justin, just teen idol Justin, and then nothing. The image I had of him was his twink days, until I saw photos of him during the whole Diddy thing. Poor guy probably got raped as during those sex parties. Probably why he looks so bad.

 

[PandaChai]

Thankfully the rest of the world is coming to the correct opinion on this twat
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Bullying works

 

[JT Smash: divorced & gay]

There are some people who just have a face that you want to punch, and this guy is one of them. He looks like the butt baby of Owen Wilson and Ezra Miller, and still managed to snag Sabrina Carpenter and STILL MANAGED to fumble the bag on that one.

Some people are not bullied enough, and Barry Keoghan is one of them.

 

[Not A Bunny]

As for justin bieber, there was never a shift to mature ladies man Justin, just teen idol Justin, and then nothing.

I can't imagine that having an internet full of people that virulently hate you could have been good for his mental health.

I always felt kind of sorry for the guy. Yeah, he's a douche, and also a grown-ass man that could take responsibility for himself, but it's really that thing where your development is arrested at the time when something huge halts it (trauma, extreme wealth or fame).

 

[Otterly]

always felt kind of sorry for the guy.

I agree with others previously saying he was likely molested. Showbiz just looks like a pit of child molesters to me, why you’d let your children do that I don’t know.

 

[General Patton]

I agree with others previously saying he was likely molested. Showbiz just looks like a pit of child molesters to me, why you’d let your children do that I don’t know.

It was allegedly a problem with 90s boybands because of Pearlman.

 

[Kyff]

Just found out this freaky looking Leaf is leaving his group

 

[Oulun]

There's been a big psyop recently to build up Shiloh Jolie as the new 10/10 uber hottie, but she's busted. Both of her parents' worst traits.

 

[Scream Tail]

There's been a big psyop recently to build up Shiloh Jolie as the new 10/10 uber hottie, but she's busted. Both of her parents' worst traits.
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Hardly even recognised Ange since she doesn't look like Tutankhamun's sister in that photo.

Shiloh at least wasn't trooned out as a kid so she's got a lot more going for her than her fellow nepo babies like Kai Shrieber(?)

 

[Halo Cipher]

I fucking love Rami Malek. There’s something about him.

 

[SamuraiHitler]

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Are you telling me this isn't peak male physique??

I miss fat Jonah Hill

 

[UvaUvamVivendoVariaFit]

You know, I tend to be pretty uncritical around appearance and usually see at least some features in most people that can be attractive in the right light (if they don't ruin it by being the worst), but time to throw all of that out the window and just roast the Hollywood fishbowl as a whole that's responsible for this uncanny celebrity freakshow.

Spoiler: The diatribe

The industry has always been insular and had its nepotism, but it's never been more incestuous than it is today, and it's harder than ever for fresh blood to find its way into the talent/gene pool, so with each generation it just gets more inbred. For the most part, it's a gated community and the gates are locked and you need to have the right unlisted number to call to be seen at all (although becoming independently famous might get you in). They aren't out scouting for the next star in coffee shops around the country anymore. And the kids of celebrities also have those same unlisted numbers and have also been attending the same parties with the people you need to know for years and their parents have favors to call in, know what to use as leverage, or just have the kind of name you think twice before saying no to. And while the kids of celebrities can be Jane Fonda and Gwyneth Paltrow and Drew Barrymore and Jennifer Grey, they can also be the result of what happens when you smash Bruce Willis and Demi Moore together. And then these children of celebrities who inherited their parents' looks in all the wrong ways and get acting careers anyway and stay in the fishbowl have children together, and... This is compounded by the realities of fame and how it makes it troublesome to venture out more into the real world among normal people instead of just holing up with other famous/industry people forever.

The area is a Mecca for attractive people from around the country/world hoping to break in and become a star. The industry is swamped in supply even as the demand is drying up still further. You know what typically makes people the most beautiful? Having the most average features. All of these beautiful people competing with each other who all kind of start to look the same because that averageness is what makes them beautiful. And getting cosmetic procedures they don't need done desperately trying to get an edge on the competition, but getting the same shit done by the same surgeons, making them look even MORE the same. Meanwhile, being pretty or beautiful, even when accompanied by talent, is usually not enough to get cast, particularly with a bit of a crackdown on casting couches, you need a big name with some pull attached. Being distinctive looking, having noticeably unusual features, on the other hand, can make you the one for a niche character role, and if that role becomes popular enough and makes you a household name, the industry will then try to capitalize on that popularity by (mis)casting you in all kinds of roles. But you are now in the fishbowl, contributing your 'striking' or outright weird appearance to the pool, while the all of those new pretty people remain shut out. And you will marry Ron Perlman's children or Danny Devito and Rhea Pearlman's children (tongue in cheek examples, no shade to the actual people, whom I've heard nothing at all bad about), and your own weird looking nepo babies will continue the cycle alongside Anya Taylor-Joy's, Timothée Chalamet's, and other actors-discussed-here's hypothetical future kids.

The industry is collapsing under its own weight. Streaming services changed the game, people don't go out to the movies much anymore, and the newer generations often don't have the attention spans to watch things much longer than TikTok videos, even as everything has gotten more expensive to make. So producers are trying to play it safe and only want to put their money into projects that seem like sure bets, most obviously seen in the constant soulless, cash-grab, nostalgia-bait reboots. But also in continuing to rely on casting actors who were big names when new movies were more culturally relevant, even while the screenplays they're choosing often aren't age-appropriate for those actors. They don't want to make movies about people in their 50s, 60s, 70s, they want to make movies about young, sexy people doing exciting, sexy things. They don't want to cast a beautiful no-name actress, they want to cast Nicole Kidman from ~20 years ago, and they'll settle for miscasting Nicole Kidman now and just not acknowledging that her procedures haven't made her look 20 years younger. Which means actresses of her generation are going to keep doing drastic things to try to look like that forever, with more and more unsettling results, because there isn't work in looking and playing their age.

Everyone is kissing everyone else's ass trying to climb the ladder, so there's a very 'Emperor's New Clothes' effect where you don't SAY that aging big name celebrity's latest plastic surgery looks freakish, you gush about how great they look, everyone gets it, and it becomes the new normal. You stop seeing the pillow face because so many people you interact with every day have pillow face. You lose track of what looks normal and even what looks believably human. And you cast that celebrity's still noticeably weird-looking kid in a part in your next movie and hope that now you have a favor to cash in from that celebrity.

And that's it for my central thesis on why Hollywood keeps looking more and more weird and doesn't seem to notice.

Spoiler: Source (and mild powerlevel)

I have a relative in the industry/Academy member, who despite being a fairly normal person also knows these people.

 

[The Crescent King]

To add on to the comment above, many of Hollywood's most famous stars in its classic era came from very humble backgrounds: Marilyn Monroe, Marlon Brando, James Dean, Joan Crawford, and the list goes on. Stars that came from well-connected families, like Elizabeth Taylor and Natalie Wood, were still talented and beautiful in their own right and earned their place within Hollywood. Old Hollywood seemed more eager to embody the vision of the American Dream instead of the highly insular, elitist and incestuous cesspool it is today. There's pretty much no avenues for a working class girl or boy in the States today to make it in film, which is a damn shame.

Thread tax: Drew Starkey of Outer Banks fame. Huge Gen Z/Gen Alpha sexy man who plays a "bad boy" character; on the show he does possess some physical beauty, but outside looks like a total bum.




On the show:

 

[Accept Only Substitutes]

My friend loves Hallmark movies (I find most of her favorites to be pretty dull, and I love romance) and she was telling me about a casting director there that had been “encouraged” to leave because she refused to stop casting women who’d been there for years, like Lacey Chabert, in favor of sexy young things.

I can’t help but think that’s incredibly short sighted. There’s a sub genre of romantasy books called “paranormal women’s midlife fiction” that’s pretty popular, at least judging by how many books are available in that category. A woman in her 40s starting over after a terrible divorce, with grown children (or not), moves somewhere new, finds literal magic and romance.

There’s a lot of talk about how representation matters, and even Hallmark has responded to that by adding in gay relationships (much to the lamentations of conservatives). But no one seems to want to include middle-aged or older women finding new love.

 

[ScarletDevil]

I feel like even by faggot standards there has to be a ceiling by which point faggots look too faggy to be considered fagtractive.

Case in point: Tim Henson, Polyphia. A few years ago he was the craze for all the little zoomettes and zoomeFaggots, kind of like timothee cumchalice but for music


Like how Polyphia is an offense to music theory, I think he just looks so offensively twinkish (cis hetero btw) that it's almost a caricature. Oh yea see this too

 

[Martys_not_smarty]

I never found John Stamos all that hot. A little too Elvis-like for my tastes. But back when Full House was on everyone was going gaga for him. I saw this pic in an article about some series called The Hunting Wives. It reminded me of this lame guy that I used to see in my neighborhood a few years back that was always trying to pick me up. He was dressed a lot like this and even had a zodiac medallion. Total Mr. Furley vibes. Like the 70s never ended.

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I looked at a bunch of other John Stamos pics and this sort of outfit seems to be his style. Wear whatever you want. But I just can't dig an outfit that makes a guy look like he's hanging around some smoky Vegas bar in 1977 trying to pic up women just old enough to drink. Lame.

Current day John Stamos looks like he'd try to upsell you from a single couch to a love seat coffee table combo with a year of interest free financing.