Villains that you consider Sexy - Sometimes the dark-side is hot AF

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Baby Jane Hudson dijo:
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My second favorite bad guy was Alan Rickman in his Die Hard role as the evil German, Hans Gruber.
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THE VIRGIN HANS
  • Beard to cover weak chin.
  • Big nose (possibly Jewish?)
  • No gf.
  • Does a really shit unconvincing American accent, incapable of even fooling a balding alcoholic Noo Yawk flatfoot.
  • Claims to be a terrorist, but is actually just a common thief. Copes by claiming he's an exceptional thief.
  • Carries out his criminal enterprises at Christmas time, presumably because he is highly unlikeable and has no friends, family or loved ones he could be spending the yuletide with.
  • Interest in men's fashion, claims he could talk about it all day (kinda gay)
  • Dies falling from a window because of his flashy watch (gay).
  • Is the younger brother, looks older.

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THE CHAD SIMON
  • The literal Germanic model of masculine Aryan beauty.
  • Enjoys riddles, demonstrating an unconventional and inventive style of thinking.
  • Makes McClane wear a sign that say 'I Hate Niggers' in the middle of Harlem, demonstrating not only a ribald sense of humour the average Kiwi Farmer would approve of, but also a shrewd understanding of the psychology of the average inner-city negroid.
  • Ice cold blonde killer gf.
  • Rocks a vest better than McClane.
  • Effortlessly outsmarts law enforcement and personnel from several government agencies, including FBI agents who try to look butch by chewing on their glasses.
  • Moistens the knickers of telephone switchboard operators the world over with just a few words ("Are you still there, dear?")
  • Carries out his criminal enterprises in the HOT TOWN, SUMMER IN THE CITY, BACKA MY NECK GETTIN' DIRT' AND GRITTY
  • Dies in a violent helicopter crash while still shooting at McClane (cool).
  • Calls his brother an arsehole, likely aware of Hans' aforementioned homosexual tendencies.
 
Unimaginative Username dijo:
Not sexually attracted to Lanius, but when he talks about conquering the land known as California, I imagine thousands of arrogant pricks from the Jeet-founded shithole that is the NCR being crucified and tens of thousands being enslaved, and I have to admit that gives me an erection.
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Just admit you think NCR girls are cute, you tsundere
 
HARDSTYLEFISH dijo:
If Disney's Frollo came to my house, spanked my butt and spread my asscheeks apart, I wouldn't be mad.

TL:TR: Man looks good, has great jobs and shares very sophisticated opinions about gypsies.
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It’s funny that there’s basically no photographic evidence of Tony Jay from before he was an old man. He seems to have skipped the normal human progression.

Tax:

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Amazoness from Japanese Spider-Man!

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She is the number two villain. She coordinates the weekly “send a kaiju to die in 22 minutes” operation.

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But she’s also got this double life as the editor of a gossip rag called Weekly Woman while quietly trying to figure out who Spider-Man is.

 
Carlos Thin dijo:
They should have really stuck to the "gib sorceress with huge mommy milkers plz" aesthetic
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Yeah, I heard somewhere that originally they were gonna be called witches, but apparently someone realized “witches” in the 90s is too fraught, so they called the villain a sorceress instead, then it just spirals into an immortal worm-woman sorceress, a trans space alien living on the moon sorceress, and God knows what else.

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Objectively one of the dumbest games I’ve ever played in my life. At least the main cast is hot, so, small mercies.

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LIBBY CHESSLER FROM SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH!

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She spends most of her time thinking about how to humiliate Sabrina, play teacher's pet to Mr. Kraft or steal Harvey. She never learns lessons and has no endearing qualities.

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I’m not even sure why Libby was into Harvey.

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I respect that they never tried to redeem her. She’s a cunt from start to finish.

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I think part of why she’s so funny is you can tell Jenna Leigh Green was probably some sort of theater kid. (She was Nessarose's understudy in the stage version of Wicked or something.) She must be channeling every rich, popular asshole she knew in high school.

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Captain Syrup dijo:
Yeah, I heard somewhere that originally they were gonna be called witches, but apparently someone realized “witches” in the 90s is too fraught, so they pivoted and called the villain a sorceress instead, then it just spirals into a immortal worm-woman sorceress and a "trans space alien living on the moon" sorceress, and God knows what else.

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Objectively one of the dumbest games I’ve ever played in my life. At least the main cast is hot, so, small mercies.

Tax:
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The strange grounded yet futuristic Sci fi look I never had a problem with; but it really should have stuck with “mercenaries saving the world from evil sorceress” instead of “we are all related and also time is compressing” plotfuck they ended up with. Also fuck Squall and Rinoa. Team Quistis all the way.

Pros:
Junction System is easy to master
Music is top tier
Cards. Cards all day baby.
Extra missions are worth it.

Cons:
Combat boils down to two players, nobody is unique
Ultimate Weapons are pointless apart from Lipnheart
Plot makes no sense, love story is just annoying

(It’s my favorite Final Fantasy. Please have patience, I’m retarded.)
 
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