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Wish I had a $500K a year job so I could afford the luxury of having a single friend IRL. Phil could do a marathon to raise funds to have a friend.
Stuff like this makes me wonder if it's just cope or if it's a sign of how oblivious he is to how normal people live.
If nothing else, I don't think he's intentionally lying about how hard he works. I think he's so lazy and incompetent that he genuinely believes that he works hard.